Has self love gone too far?

123457

Replies

  • anro86
    anro86 Posts: 790 Member
    I am proud of her, she overcame her shame, she embraced what she has and who she is in this very minute. She wanted to show that she can be her size and be beautiful, because so many say that a woman cannot be heavy and beautiful.

    She did not mention her health, I hope that if she has health issues due to her size she will take the necessary steps to address her weight. But her body is beautiful- every body is beautiful. She has empowered herself in learning this, and possibly taking away the shame of how she looks, will help her overcome other obstacles in her life.

    I applaud her.
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
    She wanted to show that she can be her size and be beautiful, because so many say that a woman cannot be heavy and beautiful.

    But she isn't beautiful. She's obese and her skin looks like cottage cheese. This is a perfectly fair assessment because she put herself out there to be judged on purely physical terms and is making a statement with which many people don't agree.

    If you're going to brave about something it should be something worthwhile and authentic.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    But her body is beautiful- every body is beautiful.

    I don't agree with this statement at all. While I certainly retained worth as a human being, when I was a giant porker my body absolutely positively was not "beautiful" by any meaningful definition of the word.
  • Keep_The_Laughter
    Keep_The_Laughter Posts: 183 Member
    "Over the past few months I have been blessed to be part of a body politic think tank at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts in San Francisco. As a group we are engaging the question "what sits on the other side of my body's shame and joy?" That is a hard question to answer. For me, in order to understand what sits on the other side of body shame and body joy, I have to engage my internalized body shame and invite the possibilities of body joy."

    This is taken directly from the Huff Post article. What she is doing is exploring is a question of creative expression and using herself as the subject of the exploration. I'm not sure how this is confusing or disturbing to anyone. It seems fairly clear what the objective of the project was. If we like the project is a separate issue from her intent, which is stated clearly here. Everything beyond her statement is what we are projecting onto the art.
  • Rai007
    Rai007 Posts: 387 Member
    if she want to stay naked then it is her choice. no comment on it.

    but if she wants to prove that obese people can look good being naked then sorry.

    she just proved they cant.
  • EricJonrosh
    EricJonrosh Posts: 823 Member
    The adults who struggle with body image today were raised with hundreds of thousands of media images portraying the best of the best bodies. You can preach till you're blue in the face about how it doesn't matter, but things burned in at childhood are hard to change - don't we all know that?
  • Rai007
    Rai007 Posts: 387 Member
    she will regret it.
    we all regret why in first place we gained weight
    why didnt we loose it earlier.

    noone wants to get F grades and display them publicly that they love it and are proud
    similarly we earn our bodies ourself (except for medical conditions) we should be accountable for its health and look

    when something can be controlled it has to be changed for the better.
    we are never ashamed of the way our faces look or our hair look or our skin colour because they have to accepted and cant be changed. but things which can be changed have to be given a chance. :)
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
    The adults who struggle with body image today were raised with hundreds of thousands of media images portraying the best of the best bodies. You can preach till you're blue in the face about how it doesn't matter, but things burned in at childhood are hard to change - don't we all know that?

    We all were raised that way, especially women. That doesn't mean that aesthetic standards don't exist.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    And if I stand in the middle of a train what will I get? bravery?

    *I'll have to write "beautiful' all over but still. Will I be brave?

    Um... Yes.

    Because you know you will be called slutty, skanky, and gross.

    *edited to add - and crazy has come up a few times in this thread.

    and why? just because I'm skinny. Always have been. I guess i'm a bad for being naturally built that way. I'm trying to gain weight and muscle but I'm not helped in any way here.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    And i am no where slutty, skanky.. Crazy when i'm just being silly.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member

    and why? just because I'm skinny. Always have been. I guess i'm a bad for being naturally built that way. I'm trying to gain weight and muscle but I'm not helped in any way here.

    You've never heard a heavier woman criticized for being skanky/slutty/gross for wearing too small, revealing clothing? You wouldn't be criticized for being slutty because you are skinny. You'd be criticized because of sexual politics. (You may be called a narcissist or vain, and that would be more likely to happen to you because you are skinny. I guess that's the equivalent of this woman being called delusional. But if someone walks around calling themselves beautiful, others will react to the action of doing so before the body shape.)

    The only thing I don't like about art projects like this is including "innocent bystanders." Something about the picture of her on the train suggests to me that we are supposed to make assumptions about the people around her because of their body language. (I know this isn't stated, so it may just be my perception. But still. I wouldn't want to be included in someone's art project that is at least in part designed to evoke reactions. I would be trying not to look too because I'd feel awkward with someone pointing a camera in my direction while a stranger stood nearly naked with writing all over her. Because it's not normally done. If it were common place to stand in a train with little clothing and writing on you, the reactions of bystanders to your weight may be more relevant.)
  • jetscreaminagain
    jetscreaminagain Posts: 1,130 Member
    I don't understand "fat acceptance" honestly. I don't get how it's acceptable to love yourself in spite of your body. It's still placing too much emphasis on appearance for me.

    Maybe if she posted her accomplishments and positive emotional and mental attributes everywhere I would be more supportive of her. Instead she's just putting more stock into the idea that a woman's self worth is based solely on her body, and if she doesn't love her body (even if it's fat) she doesn't love herself.

    I think it would be a better world if women were encouraged to love themselves no matter what their bodies look like. We don't expect a man to devalue himself if he doesn't look like an Abercrombie model. He can be a popular governor of New Jersey and be life threateningly over weight. Why should a woman hide herself in a corner and lack self confidence in the same situation,?

    Seriously. Think these things through.
  • laele75
    laele75 Posts: 283 Member
    What really bugs me is my fellow feminists who think women should never want or strive to be thin. Hypocritical much? Don't tell me what to do with my body...

    this is because they are so busy not being concerned with appearance that they end up being concerned with appearance. it's completely illogical.

    Note the bolded part. This is my experience with modern feminists. That and ridiculous hypocrisy. Nobody should be encouraged to stay that unhealthily overweight. All it is doing is encouraging obesity in a country already riddled with the problem.

    It also speaks volumes about her own insecurity and need for attention. I hope she got trolled. A lot.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    She wanted to show that she can be her size and be beautiful, because so many say that a woman cannot be heavy and beautiful.

    But she isn't beautiful. She's obese and her skin looks like cottage cheese. This is a perfectly fair assessment because she put herself out there to be judged on purely physical terms and is making a statement with which many people don't agree.

    If you're going to brave about something it should be something worthwhile and authentic.







    excuse me but i am typing from my phone and cannot see pictures....is this the lady who always has a super close jp of a paisley sofa as her profile pic. it hs always struck me as a "selfie" meant to allude to looking like a big squishy lumpy sofa with an ugly pattern on it. was that not the look you were going for? I can only infer rom your post that you must be a glob of dimple free perfection. So that leads me to conclude for the time being that it represents an expressionbof your inner beauty or lack thereof.
  • nz_deevaa
    nz_deevaa Posts: 12,209 Member
    It might be a different type of brave to this:

    1372181234_SCAR-2.jpg

    (from here: http://www.thescarproject.org/gallery/ )

    But it's still brave.

    Also, I consider them both to be a form of art.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Good art is meant to be shockinig, thought provoking, and out of the ordinary from the norm.

    This is art to me.
  • mustapekka
    mustapekka Posts: 59
    It's funny to see that her biggest, most vocal, critics seem to be her 'peers' (but that's hardly surprising, on the other hand)
  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member
    "Over the past few months I have been blessed to be part of a body politic think tank at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts in San Francisco. As a group we are engaging the question "what sits on the other side of my body's shame and joy?" That is a hard question to answer. For me, in order to understand what sits on the other side of body shame and body joy, I have to engage my internalized body shame and invite the possibilities of body joy."

    This is taken directly from the Huff Post article. What she is doing is exploring is a question of creative expression and using herself as the subject of the exploration. I'm not sure how this is confusing or disturbing to anyone. It seems fairly clear what the objective of the project was. If we like the project is a separate issue from her intent, which is stated clearly here. Everything beyond her statement is what we are projecting onto the art.

    It was an art piece dealing with a specific question, and not her pushing fat acceptance. What she did was an excellent (and brave) way in which to explore the topic she is working with. She could have been thin but still ashamed or critical of parts of her body (like many are) and approached the topic in the same way. Her weight wasn't really the root issue she was attempting to explore, body shame was, and that can be a problem for people of any weight.
  • Keep_The_Laughter
    Keep_The_Laughter Posts: 183 Member

    It was an art piece dealing with a specific question, and not her pushing fat acceptance. What she did was an excellent (and brave) way in which to explore the topic she is working with. She could have been thin but still ashamed or critical of parts of her body (like many are) and approached the topic in the same way. Her weight wasn't really the root issue she was attempting to explore, body shame was, and that can be a problem for people of any weight.

    ^^^^^^This^^^^^^^
  • sunsetzen
    sunsetzen Posts: 268 Member
    After having read the article and keeping in mind that I'm more obese that she is, I think this was mostly an artsy cry for attention.

    Totally agree - it was a piece of performance art! Evoked strong emotional reactions, got people talking - all of us bringing our own stuff to it when forming an opinion....

    Thats exactly the point. Evoke strong emotion, get people questioning and talking. I dont think it matters if she thinks she's beautiful, and healthy is a completely different topic! What matters is that people will start wondering if she is beautiful--what is beauty? Can an obese woman be beautiful? Who determines what is beautiful? And you're kidding yourself if you think you're not influenced by companies selling you their crap.
  • Jazzabelle100885
    Jazzabelle100885 Posts: 23
    So many people have already said what I think: I think it is great to accept yourself at any weight, but I don't think it is OK to accept your weight at any weight... Big difference there. The whole message we are giving children that you are OK no matter what size you are is wrong to me. It is like saying "starve yourself, it is OK" or "binge yourself to death, it is OK". We should teach our children to be healthy - eat healthy, move their butts on a daily basis, and whatever size that is at, THAT is OK.
  • sunsetzen
    sunsetzen Posts: 268 Member
    Actually, it IS ok! You shouldnt hate yourself or your body for any reason, even as motivation for weight loss. How sad.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    And i am no where slutty, skanky.. Crazy when i'm just being silly.

    I wasn't saying you were any of those things. I was saying that if you were to do the same thing, I (personally) would still consider it brave because you are setting yourself up for ridicule to make an artistic statement. Maybe everyone doesn't agree with that statement and that's okay. You don't have to. But recognize it for what it is, a very public expression of her own journey to discovering her self-worth.
  • acruelscholar
    acruelscholar Posts: 17
    "Over the past few months I have been blessed to be part of a body politic think tank at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts in San Francisco. As a group we are engaging the question "what sits on the other side of my body's shame and joy?" That is a hard question to answer. For me, in order to understand what sits on the other side of body shame and body joy, I have to engage my internalized body shame and invite the possibilities of body joy."

    This is taken directly from the Huff Post article. What she is doing is exploring is a question of creative expression and using herself as the subject of the exploration. I'm not sure how this is confusing or disturbing to anyone. It seems fairly clear what the objective of the project was. If we like the project is a separate issue from her intent, which is stated clearly here. Everything beyond her statement is what we are projecting onto the art.

    It was an art piece dealing with a specific question, and not her pushing fat acceptance. What she did was an excellent (and brave) way in which to explore the topic she is working with. She could have been thin but still ashamed or critical of parts of her body (like many are) and approached the topic in the same way. Her weight wasn't really the root issue she was attempting to explore, body shame was, and that can be a problem for people of any weight.

    Agreed. That's how I read it too.
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
    After having read the article and keeping in mind that I'm more obese that she is, I think this was mostly an artsy cry for attention.

    Totally agree - it was a piece of performance art! Evoked strong emotional reactions, got people talking - all of us bringing our own stuff to it when forming an opinion....

    Thats exactly the point. Evoke strong emotion, get people questioning and talking. I dont think it matters if she thinks she's beautiful, and healthy is a completely different topic! What matters is that people will start wondering if she is beautiful--what is beauty? Can an obese woman be beautiful? Who determines what is beautiful? And you're kidding yourself if you think you're not influenced by companies selling you their crap.

    Maybe some of us are already well aware of these issues, starting when we were, say, 9, and don't need the added example of a lady who may or may not believe in her message making herself look ridiculous?
  • Fedup23
    Fedup23 Posts: 80 Member
    I think the better question is; Has caring about another persons choices gone too far?
  • Wildflower0106
    Wildflower0106 Posts: 247 Member
    In this case I don't think this type of performance art promotes anything but the artist. I took a look at her facebook page and I was a little sad. She is an artist and performer. She has made this about appearance and nothing else. She won't even comment when someone brings up health. I think she got the attention she was looking for and her story is all over the internet. I think we should be pushing for people to look at beauty in ways that don't solely depend on how someone looks. I lost weight and got healthy because I loved myself. She would not have been someone I would have looked to for inspiration.
  • teamAmelia
    teamAmelia Posts: 1,247 Member
    I think the message of accepting yourself and embracing your curves, having a positive body image, is a super awesome and lovely message. I agree with loving yourself. But I also agree that loving your self doesn't give you the ok to be obese and unhealthy.
  • snazzyjazzy21
    snazzyjazzy21 Posts: 1,298 Member
    I just hate the idea that if I don't love myself I'm terrible or broken. I don't see why self love is some sort of measure of happiness. Why isn't 'being satisfied' or 'okay' enough?
  • gramarye
    gramarye Posts: 586 Member
    Nope -- because people will still sit here body-policing and turning their noses up at an artist's idea of self-love because they don't like her body. It doesn't matter whether the intentions are good or bad. The underlying statement is, "How can she love her body when X, Y, and Z is wrong with it?"

    No one but her doctor can say for sure if she has any sort of illnesses or ailments related to her weight. All we can see is that she had the audacity to be fat in public and not be ashamed.

Categories