Do not eat sandwiches

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  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    Not sure if the author of this post is a troll or just dumb. :noway:

    Theoretically, if you couldn't tell, the intellectual failure might lie elsewhere.

    facepalm.gif

    I love it when people are unable to recognize sarcasm, especially when it's *so* obvious.
  • Pikey13A
    Pikey13A Posts: 49
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    Ok I bet I will get hate for this from people who are willing to put any old junk in their bodies but its important to get the word out there.

    DO NOT EAT SANDWICHES!

    Sandwiches are NOT natural. They do not occur naturally! Why would you eat something put together in a 'food lab' by a 'gastronomer'? Why would you put something that has been cobbled together in sterile conditions like some sort of Frankenstein's monster?

    Not to mention some of the individual components of sandwiches. Do you even know what 'Creme Fraiche' or 'Fluer de Sel' means in English? If you don't recognise it your body won't either!

    Many of the things these 'gastronomical scientists' add products to sandwiches that have been treated with Dihydrogen Monoxide during their creation process. Tomatoes, for example are created by being surrounded by large amounts of nitrogen, boron, chlorine, molybdenum, magnesium and more chemicals! Then they are routinely sprayed with large amounts of Dihydrogen Monoxide and nourished with carbon dioxide and RADIATION!

    Adding to that, many other components are treated with MORE Dihydrogen Monoxide! It's state is altered by the food scientist via a process called "washing" this is almost always done to lettuce!

    So PLEASE think about what you will put in your mouth! Did you know that eating sandwiches will even cause your body to profuse chemicals???? Once you eat a sandwich your body will start releasing things like Trypipsinogen and Carboxypeptidase? Do these sound safe to you? Do you want to walk around leaking chemicals like some sort of defunct nuclear reactor?!

    THINK BEFORE YOU EAT!

    Is there anything we can eat nowadays without people telling us it is bad for us.

    Going back to eating my salmon sandwiches or cheese sandwiches daily, like I have done for years. Why? because it is in my packed lunch.

    Would you eat rat poison if it was in your lunch?
    Be safe and stick with healthy whey isolates in shake-form
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
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    I would back off now SandwichCorp. My inside contact has shipped me some very interesting documents. I will expose you

    null_zpse99839bd.jpg

    We of The Intergalactic Federation of Bacon Sandwich Farmers demand that you return the top secret documents. You may think that you can go to Wikileaks but make no mistake - if you attempt to release those documents, we will put out a contract on Julian Assandwich.
  • gelendestrasse
    gelendestrasse Posts: 204
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    Rat poison for lunch? I wouldn't put it past Sandwich Corp. to try it except it would cut back on sandwich sales. Unless they've taken a minority position in the mortuary business and are trying to get out of the sandwich business since we've all switched to PB on matzoh....
  • Pikey13A
    Pikey13A Posts: 49
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    That depends entirely on Voltron Forces official position on sandwiches


    From Voltron Force HQ:

    "Evil is back. The Dread Earl has returned with a dark sandwich that can destroy the galaxy. Our only hope, the Voltron Force: A team of five heroic pilots that control five awesome robot lions. When the Earl's monstrous Robo-baguettes attack, the lions come together to form Voltron, Defender of the Universe"

    I would say they are on board
  • carmenmiranda1
    carmenmiranda1 Posts: 21 Member
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    I think I have a plan.

    Lets all glue ourselves together and form a single giant human transformer. Then we storm SandwichCorp!

    HUMAN SANDWICHPEDE
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    Darren you cannot threaten me, I have graphs! And tables!
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    Rat poison for lunch? I wouldn't put it past Sandwich Corp. to try it except it would cut back on sandwich sales. Unless they've taken a minority position in the mortuary business and are trying to get out of the sandwich business since we've all switched to PB on matzoh....

    I would not put any of those things past the fat cats at SandwichCorp.

    (Please see my previous studies on why there is reason to believe that SC is actually run by overweight cats)
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    That depends entirely on Voltron Forces official position on sandwiches


    From Voltron Force HQ:

    "Evil is back. The Dread Earl has returned with a dark sandwich that can destroy the galaxy. Our only hope, the Voltron Force: A team of five heroic pilots that control five awesome robot lions. When the Earl's monstrous Robo-baguettes attack, the lions come together to form Voltron, Defender of the Universe"

    I would say they are on board

    We have earned ourselves a powerful ally this day. Look out Sandwich Corp. We, the people (and affiliated robots/robot lions) are rising up.
  • emmawoolf84
    emmawoolf84 Posts: 243 Member
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    Yeah, I LOVEEEEEEE your posts.
  • MsPudding
    MsPudding Posts: 562 Member
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    I only eat PlayDough - because it's like...dough. So that's not bread right? Because it's not been irradiated and toxined and stuff by the baking process! Plus it's purple. I like purple.

    I like green 'cause green is good for you. Everyone says. I like lamp.


    You're mad! Green is the opposite of good for you. Consider all the bad things that are green - snot, bile, gangrene, that stuff the girl in the Exorcist spewed out, Shrek. Would you eat Shrek???

    Now consider all the bad things that are purple...well there aren't any apart from bruises and the buboes from Bubonic Plague. And look at all the GOOD things that are purple - Barney the Dinosaur, meat, Vimto and rain. You can't go wrong with purple.
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
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    Darren you cannot threaten me, I have graphs! And tables!

    So you do not have our Bacon and Cheese Pie Charts, then. I must have mislaid them.
  • parallelfifths
    parallelfifths Posts: 17 Member
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    I want this conversation to go on FOREVER.

    Down with sandwiches!
  • gelendestrasse
    gelendestrasse Posts: 204
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    Wait, you've never had a Shrek sandwich?
  • carmenmiranda1
    carmenmiranda1 Posts: 21 Member
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    PROOF that Obama is behind it all:

    http://cheezburger.com/7845104384
  • bethlaf
    bethlaf Posts: 954 Member
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    dihydrogen monoxide is FATAL!!! if inhaled!!!! shes right folks , do the research!!
  • MsJulielicious
    MsJulielicious Posts: 708 Member
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    cat-wants-sandwich.gif
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    Darren you cannot threaten me, I have graphs! And tables!

    So you do not have our Bacon and Cheese Pie Charts, then. I must have mislaid them.

    Well it's easy to misplace Pi to at least 10 places.
  • bethlaf
    bethlaf Posts: 954 Member
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    I only eat PlayDough - because it's like...dough. So that's not bread right? Because it's not been irradiated and toxined and stuff by the baking process! Plus it's purple. I like purple.

    I like green 'cause green is good for you. Everyone says. I like lamp.


    You're mad! Green is the opposite of good for you. Consider all the bad things that are green - snot, bile, gangrene, that stuff the girl in the Exorcist spewed out, Shrek. Would you eat Shrek???

    Now consider all the bad things that are purple...well there aren't any apart from bruises and the buboes from Bubonic Plague. And look at all the GOOD things that are purple - Barney the Dinosaur, meat, Vimto and rain. You can't go wrong with purple.

    i would totally do shrek.... barney is evil
  • melaniebuxton21
    melaniebuxton21 Posts: 7 Member
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    Surely you mean do not eat 'non-organic, store bought' sandwiches? I agree, the salt, sugar, and fat content is far to high to be natural.
    However, I think you're giving sandwiches in general a bad name here. Maybe just watch what you put in your sandwich and make it yourself so you know exactly what's gone into it is really the lesson to be taught here.

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