Do not eat sandwiches

I only eat PlayDough - because it's like...dough. So that's not bread right? Because it's not been irradiated and toxined and stuff by the baking process! Plus it's purple. I like purple.

I like green 'cause green is good for you. Everyone says. I like lamp.

You're mad! Green is the opposite of good for you. Consider all the bad things that are green - snot, bile, gangrene, that stuff the girl in the Exorcist spewed out, Shrek. Would you eat Shrek???

Now consider all the bad things that are purple...well there aren't any apart from bruises and the buboes from Bubonic Plague. And look at all the GOOD things that are purple - Barney the Dinosaur, meat, Vimto and rain. You can't go wrong with purple.

I want this conversation to go on FOREVER.

Down with sandwiches!

PROOF that Obama is behind it all:

http://cheezburger.com/7845104384

I only eat PlayDough - because it's like...dough. So that's not bread right? Because it's not been irradiated and toxined and stuff by the baking process! Plus it's purple. I like purple.

I like green 'cause green is good for you. Everyone says. I like lamp.

You're mad! Green is the opposite of good for you. Consider all the bad things that are green - snot, bile, gangrene, that stuff the girl in the Exorcist spewed out, Shrek. Would you eat Shrek???

Now consider all the bad things that are purple...well there aren't any apart from bruises and the buboes from Bubonic Plague. And look at all the GOOD things that are purple - Barney the Dinosaur, meat, Vimto and rain. You can't go wrong with purple.

i would totally do shrek.... barney is evil

Darren you cannot threaten me, I have graphs! And tables!

So you do not have our Bacon and Cheese Pie Charts, then. I must have mislaid them.

Well it's easy to misplace Pi to at least 10 places.

Speak for yourself. I have an abacus and I'm not afraid to use it:

Surely you mean do not eat 'non-organic, store bought' sandwiches? I agree, the salt, sugar, and fat content is far to high to be natural.
However, I think you're giving sandwiches in general a bad name here. Maybe just watch what you put in your sandwich and make it yourself so you know exactly what's gone into it is really the lesson to be taught here.

Sandwich apologist, pannini denier

Salt, sugar and fat are the only wholesome parts of a sandwich and even they can be improved when micronised, flavoured and made into a shake.

Truly thou art a handmaiden of the loathesome Earl of Sandwich

Surely you mean do not eat 'non-organic, store bought' sandwiches? I agree, the salt, sugar, and fat content is far to high to be natural.
However, I think you're giving sandwiches in general a bad name here. Maybe just watch what you put in your sandwich and make it yourself so you know exactly what's gone into it is really the lesson to be taught here.

Would anyone like to join me in a thread-wide facepalm?

*facepalm*

So hard I can't get my hand back

I did not realise how polluted with Sandwich sympathisers MFP had become. A pox upon you all indeed!

Don't lose heart. Your cause is just and noble. Those whose hearts are pure and bellies clean will stand with you against the Earl and his dark-army of filthy subway sandwich-artist minions.