Do Not Eat Chia Seeds!!!
Replies
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LMAO!!! Yeah OK0
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It must be a Monday. There is a distinct lack of understanding joke threads.
If it were possible, I would grow a chia pet in my belly just so I could go to the doctor complaining about abdominal pain so they would do an ultrasound and see a little ceramic pet in there.
I know! I used to think it would be a cute accessory, much cuter than a belly ring... Then I got the real deets. Now I'm never looking back at those gelatinous little devils!0 -
It must be a Monday. There is a distinct lack of understanding joke threads.
If it were possible, I would grow a chia pet in my belly just so I could go to the doctor complaining about abdominal pain so they would do an ultrasound and see a little ceramic pet in there.
They would crap themselves, thinking that indeed things can be grown in your stomach or intestinal tract LMFAO!! :laugh: :laugh:0 -
It must be a Monday. There is a distinct lack of understanding joke threads.
If it were possible, I would grow a chia pet in my belly just so I could go to the doctor complaining about abdominal pain so they would do an ultrasound and see a little ceramic pet in there.
Haha0 -
It's ok everyone. In here to help with science.
OP's statements about chia seeds are correct. I am an authority on nutrition and also all the sciences that end with -ology.
You see, chia seeds are commonly referred to as Aztec Running Food.
The problem is that this has not been correctly translated, and actually means something closer to Food! - Aztec Running!!
Aztecs ran away from chia seeds because they understood that they can possess your soul, chia pets were an early attempt by satanists to gather an army of satanic child soldiers.0 -
Only 3 pages and I'm already bored with this post. Moving on :yawn: :yawn:
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It must be a Monday. There is a distinct lack of understanding joke threads.
If it were possible, I would grow a chia pet in my belly just so I could go to the doctor complaining about abdominal pain so they would do an ultrasound and see a little ceramic pet in there.
Only if it's this doctor...
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I love how so many of you bought into this and started raging.
OP I though it was funny. :P1 -
Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?
The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed.
Very silly. hahahahhahaha!!!0 -
It's ok everyone. In here to help with science.
OP's statements about chia seeds are correct. I am an authority on nutrition and also all the sciences that end with -ology.
You see, chia seeds are commonly referred to as Aztec Running Food.
The problem is that this has not been correctly translated, and actually means something closer to Food! - Aztec Running!!
Aztecs ran away from chia seeds because they understood that they can possess your soul, chia pets were an early attempt by satanists to gather an army of satanic child soldiers.
Finally!!! I knew I was not alone in this understanding! I just wanted to post the "article," and let people decide for themselves, but apparently we have to believe everything we read.
The conspiracy food nuts... Whew. Can you even imagine? What if there was a CHIA SANDWICH?1 -
Only 3 pages and I'm already bored with this post. Moving on :yawn: :yawn:
You do realize this post was under the heading of "...fun and games" ?0 -
It's ok everyone. In here to help with science.
OP's statements about chia seeds are correct. I am an authority on nutrition and also all the sciences that end with -ology.
You see, chia seeds are commonly referred to as Aztec Running Food.
The problem is that this has not been correctly translated, and actually means something closer to Food! - Aztec Running!!
Aztecs ran away from chia seeds because they understood that they can possess your soul, chia pets were an early attempt by satanists to gather an army of satanic child soldiers.
LOL another poster who is great at writing satirical pieces0 -
It's ok everyone. In here to help with science.
OP's statements about chia seeds are correct. I am an authority on nutrition and also all the sciences that end with -ology.
You see, chia seeds are commonly referred to as Aztec Running Food.
The problem is that this has not been correctly translated, and actually means something closer to Food! - Aztec Running!!
Aztecs ran away from chia seeds because they understood that they can possess your soul, chia pets were an early attempt by satanists to gather an army of satanic child soldiers.
:laugh:0 -
Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?
The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed. Very silly.
My friend grew a watermelon in his stomach after accidentally swallowing a seed. My other friends and I had to shrink down and go inside of him (through the nose, you guys) to get it out. Unfortunately, once we found it my cousin was trying to actively cultivate it! It had even started to sprout! We had to tickle his splanchnic ganglion to get him to fully expel it. ... Close call.1 -
I only tried chia seeds once. That was in one of those healthy drinks were they left them in their whole and floating around. I could only do one mouth full...It was like drinking little fish eggs!!
:sick: Ewww... :laugh:0 -
ha ha
Potential health hazards include: the possibility of the seeds implanting into the lining of the stomach and intestines, thereby growing an internal herb garden that cannot be controlled by traditional means.
that is all
thanks! I needed a laugh today!..
:flowerforyou: :laugh: :laugh: :drinker:
^^^ this. It's the best monday post.0 -
Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?
The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed.
Very silly. hahahahhahaha!!!
I am pretty sure my powers of deduction are good enough for verifying the source.0 -
Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?
The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed. Very silly.
My friend grew a watermelon in his stomach after accidentally swallowing a seed. My other friends and I had to shrink down and go inside of him (through the nose, you guys) to get it out. Unfortunately, once we found it my cousin was trying to actively cultivate it! It had even started to sprout! We had to tickle his splanchnic ganglion to get him to fully expel it. ... Close call.
This is how they did it before they had providers that specialized in the removal of internal garden plants.
Thank you so much for chiming in on the conversation!0 -
Chia seeds are evil because they make me poop
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My friend grew a watermelon in his stomach after accidentally swallowing a seed. My other friends and I had to shrink down and go inside of him (through the nose, you guys) to get it out. Unfortunately, once we found it my cousin was trying to actively cultivate it! It had even started to sprout! We had to tickle his splanchnic ganglion to get him to fully expel it. ... Close call.
It's like a scene from The Magic School Bus, lol!!!0 -
Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?
The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed. Very silly.
My friend grew a watermelon in his stomach after accidentally swallowing a seed. My other friends and I had to shrink down and go inside of him (through the nose, you guys) to get it out. Unfortunately, once we found it my cousin was trying to actively cultivate it! It had even started to sprout! We had to tickle his splanchnic ganglion to get him to fully expel it. ... Close call.
I hope you got it before this happened!
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thats what ive been saying who wants to eat little black balls of snot death. (dont believe me soak chia seeds)
This makes me think of honey, which my husband uses a lot and which I affectionately refer to as "bee barf."
I thought it was bee poop
Nope. Bee puke. They injest the nectar, fly back to the hive, and puke it up into cells. Then the hive worker bees fan their wings to dehydrate it down to about 21% water.0 -
Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?
The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed. Very silly.
My friend grew a watermelon in his stomach after accidentally swallowing a seed. My other friends and I had to shrink down and go inside of him (through the nose, you guys) to get it out. Unfortunately, once we found it my cousin was trying to actively cultivate it! It had even started to sprout! We had to tickle his splanchnic ganglion to get him to fully expel it. ... Close call.
that was an awesome rugrats
and The Magic School Bus!! 0 -
Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?
The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed. Very silly.
My friend grew a watermelon in his stomach after accidentally swallowing a seed. My other friends and I had to shrink down and go inside of him (through the nose, you guys) to get it out. Unfortunately, once we found it my cousin was trying to actively cultivate it! It had even started to sprout! We had to tickle his splanchnic ganglion to get him to fully expel it. ... Close call.
I hope you got it before this happened!
This looks exactly like my niece's baby pictures!0 -
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BAHAHA@Internal herb garden. Yeah right...0
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thats what ive been saying who wants to eat little black balls of snot death. (dont believe me soak chia seeds)
This makes me think of honey, which my husband uses a lot and which I affectionately refer to as "bee barf."
Technically, they're embryos. And placenta. Well, I suppose the common store eggs might be just an ovum. But MY hen's eggs are embryos!
I thought it was bee poop
Eggs are also called "hen period", but that never stopped me from eatin' 'em. Yummy hen period.
Edited because my brain farted.
If they're fertilized they're hen embryos!0 -
I can't believe all the people here who aren't willing to accept that we don't live in the land of rainbows and ponies where the government never lies to you!
Have you heard about these 'Chia Parties' kids are having? They all get together and try to get fertilised by the chia, there are multiple tumblr blogs dedicated to youths showing of their herb garden growth and sharing pictures of these horrible parties.0 -
I can't believe all the people here who aren't willing to accept that we don't live in the land of rainbows and ponies where the government never lies to you!
Have you heard about these 'Chia Parties' kids are having? They all get together and try to get fertilised by the chia, there are multiple tumblr blogs dedicated to youths showing of their herb garden growth and sharing pictures of these horrible parties.
I thought everyone knew you couldn't have things germinate past the acidity of the stomach, the govt doesn't need to tell you that. lmao.
Omg, this thread will not die. ::yawn::0 -
I can't believe all the people here who aren't willing to accept that we don't live in the land of rainbows and ponies where the government never lies to you!
Have you heard about these 'Chia Parties' kids are having? They all get together and try to get fertilised by the chia, there are multiple tumblr blogs dedicated to youths showing of their herb garden growth and sharing pictures of these horrible parties.
Have you seen the trend where they try to harvest from their own bellies to smoke the plants? I was absolutely horrified!! Apparently if you ingest the seeds with other substances, you can grow custom infused plant material. Only downside really is the acids from the stomach, but you know kids these days, they'll smoke just about anything.
If I never saw another green sprouting booty hole, I would be happy. Dang Tumblr0
This discussion has been closed.
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