Do Not Eat Chia Seeds!!!

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Replies

  • LMAO!!! Yeah OK
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    It must be a Monday. There is a distinct lack of understanding joke threads.

    If it were possible, I would grow a chia pet in my belly just so I could go to the doctor complaining about abdominal pain so they would do an ultrasound and see a little ceramic pet in there.

    I know! I used to think it would be a cute accessory, much cuter than a belly ring... Then I got the real deets. Now I'm never looking back at those gelatinous little devils!
  • OMGeeeHorses
    OMGeeeHorses Posts: 732 Member
    It must be a Monday. There is a distinct lack of understanding joke threads.

    If it were possible, I would grow a chia pet in my belly just so I could go to the doctor complaining about abdominal pain so they would do an ultrasound and see a little ceramic pet in there.

    They would crap themselves, thinking that indeed things can be grown in your stomach or intestinal tract LMFAO!! :laugh: :laugh:
  • KatC_88
    KatC_88 Posts: 101 Member
    It must be a Monday. There is a distinct lack of understanding joke threads.

    If it were possible, I would grow a chia pet in my belly just so I could go to the doctor complaining about abdominal pain so they would do an ultrasound and see a little ceramic pet in there.

    Haha
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    It's ok everyone. In here to help with science.

    OP's statements about chia seeds are correct. I am an authority on nutrition and also all the sciences that end with -ology.

    You see, chia seeds are commonly referred to as Aztec Running Food.

    The problem is that this has not been correctly translated, and actually means something closer to Food! - Aztec Running!!
    Aztecs ran away from chia seeds because they understood that they can possess your soul, chia pets were an early attempt by satanists to gather an army of satanic child soldiers.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Only 3 pages and I'm already bored with this post. Moving on :yawn: :yawn:

    1333652502_elephant_waves_goodbye.gif
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
    It must be a Monday. There is a distinct lack of understanding joke threads.

    If it were possible, I would grow a chia pet in my belly just so I could go to the doctor complaining about abdominal pain so they would do an ultrasound and see a little ceramic pet in there.

    Only if it's this doctor...

    dea.gif
  • MaiLinna
    MaiLinna Posts: 580 Member
    I love how so many of you bought into this and started raging.

    OP I though it was funny. :P
  • Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?

    The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed.

    Very silly. hahahahhahaha!!!
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    It's ok everyone. In here to help with science.

    OP's statements about chia seeds are correct. I am an authority on nutrition and also all the sciences that end with -ology.

    You see, chia seeds are commonly referred to as Aztec Running Food.

    The problem is that this has not been correctly translated, and actually means something closer to Food! - Aztec Running!!
    Aztecs ran away from chia seeds because they understood that they can possess your soul, chia pets were an early attempt by satanists to gather an army of satanic child soldiers.

    Finally!!! I knew I was not alone in this understanding! I just wanted to post the "article," and let people decide for themselves, but apparently we have to believe everything we read.

    The conspiracy food nuts... Whew. Can you even imagine? What if there was a CHIA SANDWICH?
  • MstngSammy
    MstngSammy Posts: 436 Member
    Only 3 pages and I'm already bored with this post. Moving on :yawn: :yawn:



    You do realize this post was under the heading of "...fun and games" ?
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    It's ok everyone. In here to help with science.

    OP's statements about chia seeds are correct. I am an authority on nutrition and also all the sciences that end with -ology.

    You see, chia seeds are commonly referred to as Aztec Running Food.

    The problem is that this has not been correctly translated, and actually means something closer to Food! - Aztec Running!!
    Aztecs ran away from chia seeds because they understood that they can possess your soul, chia pets were an early attempt by satanists to gather an army of satanic child soldiers.

    LOL another poster who is great at writing satirical pieces
  • MstngSammy
    MstngSammy Posts: 436 Member
    It's ok everyone. In here to help with science.

    OP's statements about chia seeds are correct. I am an authority on nutrition and also all the sciences that end with -ology.

    You see, chia seeds are commonly referred to as Aztec Running Food.

    The problem is that this has not been correctly translated, and actually means something closer to Food! - Aztec Running!!
    Aztecs ran away from chia seeds because they understood that they can possess your soul, chia pets were an early attempt by satanists to gather an army of satanic child soldiers.



    :laugh:
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
    Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?

    The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed. Very silly.

    My friend grew a watermelon in his stomach after accidentally swallowing a seed. My other friends and I had to shrink down and go inside of him (through the nose, you guys) to get it out. Unfortunately, once we found it my cousin was trying to actively cultivate it! It had even started to sprout! We had to tickle his splanchnic ganglion to get him to fully expel it. ... Close call.
  • mdj1501
    mdj1501 Posts: 388 Member
    I only tried chia seeds once. That was in one of those healthy drinks were they left them in their whole and floating around. I could only do one mouth full...It was like drinking little fish eggs!!


    :sick: Ewww... :laugh:
  • asp415
    asp415 Posts: 1,492 Member

    Potential health hazards include: the possibility of the seeds implanting into the lining of the stomach and intestines, thereby growing an internal herb garden that cannot be controlled by traditional means.
    ha ha

    that is all

    thanks! I needed a laugh today!..

    :flowerforyou: :laugh: :laugh: :drinker:

    ^^^ this. It's the best monday post.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?

    The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed.

    Very silly. hahahahhahaha!!!

    I am pretty sure my powers of deduction are good enough for verifying the source.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?

    The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed. Very silly.

    My friend grew a watermelon in his stomach after accidentally swallowing a seed. My other friends and I had to shrink down and go inside of him (through the nose, you guys) to get it out. Unfortunately, once we found it my cousin was trying to actively cultivate it! It had even started to sprout! We had to tickle his splanchnic ganglion to get him to fully expel it. ... Close call.

    This is how they did it before they had providers that specialized in the removal of internal garden plants.

    Thank you so much for chiming in on the conversation!
  • arghbowl
    arghbowl Posts: 1,179 Member
    Chia seeds are evil because they make me poop :(
  • My friend grew a watermelon in his stomach after accidentally swallowing a seed. My other friends and I had to shrink down and go inside of him (through the nose, you guys) to get it out. Unfortunately, once we found it my cousin was trying to actively cultivate it! It had even started to sprout! We had to tickle his splanchnic ganglion to get him to fully expel it. ... Close call.

    It's like a scene from The Magic School Bus, lol!!!
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?

    The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed. Very silly.

    My friend grew a watermelon in his stomach after accidentally swallowing a seed. My other friends and I had to shrink down and go inside of him (through the nose, you guys) to get it out. Unfortunately, once we found it my cousin was trying to actively cultivate it! It had even started to sprout! We had to tickle his splanchnic ganglion to get him to fully expel it. ... Close call.

    I hope you got it before this happened!

    vAmmM1G.jpg
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
    thats what ive been saying who wants to eat little black balls of snot death. (dont believe me soak chia seeds)


    This makes me think of honey, which my husband uses a lot and which I affectionately refer to as "bee barf."


    I thought it was bee poop

    Nope. Bee puke. They injest the nectar, fly back to the hive, and puke it up into cells. Then the hive worker bees fan their wings to dehydrate it down to about 21% water.
  • OMGeeeHorses
    OMGeeeHorses Posts: 732 Member
    Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?

    The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed. Very silly.

    My friend grew a watermelon in his stomach after accidentally swallowing a seed. My other friends and I had to shrink down and go inside of him (through the nose, you guys) to get it out. Unfortunately, once we found it my cousin was trying to actively cultivate it! It had even started to sprout! We had to tickle his splanchnic ganglion to get him to fully expel it. ... Close call.

    that was an awesome rugrats :) and The Magic School Bus!!
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?

    The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed. Very silly.

    My friend grew a watermelon in his stomach after accidentally swallowing a seed. My other friends and I had to shrink down and go inside of him (through the nose, you guys) to get it out. Unfortunately, once we found it my cousin was trying to actively cultivate it! It had even started to sprout! We had to tickle his splanchnic ganglion to get him to fully expel it. ... Close call.

    I hope you got it before this happened!

    vAmmM1G.jpg

    This looks exactly like my niece's baby pictures!
  • ShifuYaku
    ShifuYaku Posts: 504 Member
    I_smell_trolls_I_have_a_few_questions-s400x400-140415-535.jpg
  • BAHAHA@Internal herb garden. Yeah right...
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
    thats what ive been saying who wants to eat little black balls of snot death. (dont believe me soak chia seeds)


    This makes me think of honey, which my husband uses a lot and which I affectionately refer to as "bee barf."

    Technically, they're embryos. And placenta. Well, I suppose the common store eggs might be just an ovum. But MY hen's eggs are embryos!

    I thought it was bee poop

    Eggs are also called "hen period", but that never stopped me from eatin' 'em. Yummy hen period. :love:

    Edited because my brain farted.

    If they're fertilized they're hen embryos!
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    I can't believe all the people here who aren't willing to accept that we don't live in the land of rainbows and ponies where the government never lies to you!

    Have you heard about these 'Chia Parties' kids are having? They all get together and try to get fertilised by the chia, there are multiple tumblr blogs dedicated to youths showing of their herb garden growth and sharing pictures of these horrible parties.
  • I can't believe all the people here who aren't willing to accept that we don't live in the land of rainbows and ponies where the government never lies to you!

    Have you heard about these 'Chia Parties' kids are having? They all get together and try to get fertilised by the chia, there are multiple tumblr blogs dedicated to youths showing of their herb garden growth and sharing pictures of these horrible parties.

    I thought everyone knew you couldn't have things germinate past the acidity of the stomach, the govt doesn't need to tell you that. lmao.

    Omg, this thread will not die. ::yawn::
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    I can't believe all the people here who aren't willing to accept that we don't live in the land of rainbows and ponies where the government never lies to you!

    Have you heard about these 'Chia Parties' kids are having? They all get together and try to get fertilised by the chia, there are multiple tumblr blogs dedicated to youths showing of their herb garden growth and sharing pictures of these horrible parties.

    Have you seen the trend where they try to harvest from their own bellies to smoke the plants? I was absolutely horrified!! Apparently if you ingest the seeds with other substances, you can grow custom infused plant material. Only downside really is the acids from the stomach, but you know kids these days, they'll smoke just about anything.

    If I never saw another green sprouting booty hole, I would be happy. Dang Tumblr
This discussion has been closed.