Do you get a lot more attention after weight loss?

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Replies

  • shoopies
    shoopies Posts: 21 Member
    Definitely a big difference. . .I felt like there was a certain weight threshold, that once I passed it (in terms of losing), all of the suddent I started getting second glances, etc. People in general are just WAY friendlier when you weigh less.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I get an exponentially huger amount of more attention.

    I also get that additional attention from better quality sources than the attention i got when i was fat.

    But I also realize that a lot of the attention that I perceive as 'new' was simply attention I was blind too or in denial about before- because I didnt think I deserved it, or I thought people were being mean or sarcastic and now I realize it is actually genuine.

    It used to be that I would be out with friends at a bar and a guy and his friend would come over and hit on my best friend and I. I would instantly get up and go home without a word because I felt bad for the guy that got stuck keeping me occupied so his buddy could hook up with Jen.
  • LadyofLight08
    LadyofLight08 Posts: 245 Member
    I have received an exceptional amount of attention. A little too much for my liking, but I suppose being a ghost when I was fat wasn't any better lol
  • MickeyBoo
    MickeyBoo Posts: 196 Member
    The last time I reached my goal weight I was a bit oblivious to the extra attention, still very much in 'I'm fat and invisible' mode and also thinking why the hell would anyone chat me up? I saw all my flaws and very little of my assets!

    A so called friend of my hubby was making the moves and I didn't even see it, just thought he was being friendly, my hubby pointed it out to me after he realised that the guy was purposely coming over an hour before hubby said he'd be home, and I didn't realise that he hadn't just popped in :( After that I was embarrassed that I didn't notice what the guy was saying had a double meaning and hadn't noticed him staring etc. I was instantly uncomfortably around anyone who was flirty, and didn't like that just because I was physically more attractive that it meant I was more worthy of being looked at or spoken to. I do enjoy the invisibility of being fat!

    This time around it's something that I know I will have to face, I am very cynical about that kind of thing and life in general, so I can only hope that I can be learn to be gracious when receiving a compliment. It's the touchy/feely/huggy people that suddenly spring up that I really don't like.
  • missshoes07
    missshoes07 Posts: 6 Member
    I'd like to chime in about your 2nd question. I haven't ever been significantly overweight but I have lost nearly 15 lbs in the last 10 months. I'm healthier and more fit. I've done a 5K and an 8k this year! Blood work in a couple months will give the definite numbers of progress. Anyway, I actually thought of a bible verse when I saw your questions. "Whatever happens, conduct yourself in a manner of Christ"
    Even if you don't have a relationship with Christ, I think you can still pull something from this about confidence. It's all about your response. There's a creepy dude at work that commented about my weight loss. I said thank you and moved on. I don't have to engage it. I can just say thank you and smile to anyone that comes at me. A person's character will tell you whether it's genuine or leary. Know where your worth is. Be proud that you are a healthier you. How you carry yourself will normally produce what kind of response you want to receive. If it's significant weight loss then it might be beneficial to have someone help you dress the new you and what's now appropriate for your new body.
    Yes, I feel fabulous about the lost inches but I'm happier about the less stress on my heart and joints and my cholesterol being lower than I am about the smaller jean size. (and I mean general 'you' not specifically) Oh! And a gentle reminder: don't trust the mirror. It took about 4 months of not "seeing" a difference even though my measuring tape confirmed progress. You might 'see' something that isn't exactly true. I hope this finds people encouraged.
  • IanBee93
    IanBee93 Posts: 237 Member
    I really think its mainly confidence. When you don't feel attractive because you're not happy with your weight you look sad. People don't like sad, unconfident people.

    Conversely, when you feel sexy and toned (even if you statistically still are overweight), you just ooze happiness and good vibes. People are attracted to happy, confident people.

    Take it all in stride. Be complimented and feel good and then use that as fire to keep going.

    Oh God. People are attracted to what you look like on the outside. No matter what your confidence is. If you're attractive but look sad people will care more about you, and will want to comfort you. If you're unattractive, people will notice but not care, unless they're you're friends.
  • amirahdaboss
    amirahdaboss Posts: 921 Member
    Bump!
  • psych101
    psych101 Posts: 1,842 Member
    I spent most of my life overweight - I was the biggest kid at my high school. I never had a boyfriend until I was in my 20s. Then I lost a lot of weight (lost 110lbs) and started to go out more and got a LOT of attention. I never really knew how to accept compliments and I never knew when someone was hitting on me. I always thought people were making fun of me or mocking me, or were chatting me up for a dare or a bet or just to be cruel. I found it really hard to understand that anyone was attracted to me.

    Now that I'm married and have a baby I look back and think - wow I looked damn good then! and I still do (though a little more baby weight to go lol)
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    No. Nobody notices or says anything.
  • EdTheGinge
    EdTheGinge Posts: 1,616 Member
    Can't say I've noticed any attention from the girls :( but in general nah
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    I really think its mainly confidence. When you don't feel attractive because you're not happy with your weight you look sad. People don't like sad, unconfident people.

    Conversely, when you feel sexy and toned (even if you statistically still are overweight), you just ooze happiness and good vibes. People are attracted to happy, confident people.

    Take it all in stride. Be complimented and feel good and then use that as fire to keep going.

    Oh God. People are attracted to what you look like on the outside. No matter what your confidence is. If you're attractive but look sad people will care more about you, and will want to comfort you. If you're unattractive, people will notice but not care, unless they're you're friends.

    If you are unattractive but really happy and confident you will get more attention than someone who is unattractive and miserable.
    I have know a few that are overweight and outgoing and always had people around them where as someone who was miserable tends to push people away because nobody wants to be weighted down by someone who is not happy.
  • lma0423
    lma0423 Posts: 78 Member
    I really think its mainly confidence. When you don't feel attractive because you're not happy with your weight you look sad. People don't like sad, unconfident people.

    Conversely, when you feel sexy and toned (even if you statistically still are overweight), you just ooze happiness and good vibes. People are attracted to happy, confident people.

    Take it all in stride. Be complimented and feel good and then use that as fire to keep going.

    I completely agree with this. I find that I look best at around 170 and I get lots of attention, but then at 180 I get none. at 5'6, 10 lbs cant make THAT big of a difference! But in my head it does, so I guess it affects my confidence.
  • I find that people are much nicer to me...strangers especially, and I really notice it with the customers at my work. It is kind of sad, in a way, to think that I am not any different than I was before...just the way I look...and people treat me like they respect me more. I agree that it is mainly confidence, since I never really had that before, but still...it has taught me to never judge by appearance that is for sure!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I really think its mainly confidence. When you don't feel attractive because you're not happy with your weight you look sad. People don't like sad, unconfident people.

    Conversely, when you feel sexy and toned (even if you statistically still are overweight), you just ooze happiness and good vibes. People are attracted to happy, confident people.

    Take it all in stride. Be complimented and feel good and then use that as fire to keep going.

    Oh God. People are attracted to what you look like on the outside. No matter what your confidence is. If you're attractive but look sad people will care more about you, and will want to comfort you. If you're unattractive, people will notice but not care, unless they're you're friends.

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    false.
  • Possible_Infinity
    Possible_Infinity Posts: 83 Member
    My Ex GF would probably say so. She was always crapping on my weight loss.


    For me it’s sort of a Yes and No...

    I think I'm a lot more approachable now that I’ve lost weight.
  • dani22105
    dani22105 Posts: 76 Member
    I really think its mainly confidence. When you don't feel attractive because you're not happy with your weight you look sad. People don't like sad, unconfident people.

    Conversely, when you feel sexy and toned (even if you statistically still are overweight), you just ooze happiness and good vibes. People are attracted to happy, confident people.

    Take it all in stride. Be complimented and feel good and then use that as fire to keep going.

    I LOVE THIS!!!
  • simplysera
    simplysera Posts: 21 Member
    this!
  • aaasky
    aaasky Posts: 68 Member
    Sometimes our partners will notice the extra attention even when we don't.

    This is so true. I'm not oblivious--I do notice that I get more attention than I did 35+ pounds ago--but my boyfriend is quicker to make a comment about it.
  • I notice the extra attention, and honestly I like it. I was overweight and FAT all my life and I deserve the extra attention I get. My wife on the other hands HATES IT.

    I also get extra attention from the wife too HAHA.
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
    Yep. I definitely get more attention now than I ever did when I was younger and heavier...

    Of course, now I'm much more invested in my appearance, so that has definitely made a difference. I have just awful skin (acne, redness); now I wear makeup and that covers most of what I consider to be "the damage." I used to wear jeans and a hoody or t-shirt every second of every day, and I'm not talking about cute jeans that fit well or a t-shirt that really shows off my goods. Now I wear clothes that fit me well and accentuate my milkshake or whatever. I've gotten into much better shape than I ever used to be, and I'm willing to bet that the confidence I've gained from that has fed into this phenomenon, as well. I've noticed that I've become more friendly, outspoken, and sociable; I chalk that up to feeling better about myself and the way I look/feel.

    I can understand how it might make you uncomfortable at first, especially if you're not typically on the receiving end of such flirtations. Take it for what it is: someone's really picking up what you're putting down and they want more. It's up to you if you want to engage that person further.
  • amberstevens7906
    amberstevens7906 Posts: 55 Member
    Well personally since iv lost weight iv had much more attractive men talk to me then I used to have.one guy was so attractive to me I couldny believe it because I'm not thin yet. I'm 153 and started at 270
  • tlsegar
    tlsegar Posts: 185 Member
    I can't say that I have. Then again, I'm pretty oblivious to things like that.
  • Sondicalondi
    Sondicalondi Posts: 57 Member
    YES, no question! I use to hate it when I was younger, now I love it! Like the other comments, when I hit a certain wt. I start to notice looks and attention, absolutely no attention until then tho. Had a guy say I was "looking good" at the gym last week. Who doesn't like that?!
  • dunnodunno
    dunnodunno Posts: 2,290 Member
    Bump!
  • LauraBee96
    LauraBee96 Posts: 30 Member
    I really think its mainly confidence. When you don't feel attractive because you're not happy with your weight you look sad. People don't like sad, unconfident people.

    Conversely, when you feel sexy and toned (even if you statistically still are overweight), you just ooze happiness and good vibes. People are attracted to happy, confident people.

    Take it all in stride. Be complimented and feel good and then use that as fire to keep going.

    I love this!
  • MyRummyHens
    MyRummyHens Posts: 141 Member
    Definitely more attention from both men and women. Admittedly the attention I get from women is even more unwanted than the attention I get from men. I find as I get closer and closer to my normal slim self then women (strangers/acquaintances not meaning friends) make increasingly nastier and nastier remarks. I felt like a 'fitted in' more with other women when I was over weight, does that make sense?

    Man wise (I'm very happily marriage), I get mainly looks and I find men are quicker to crack jokes/make light conversation in silly places like the post office queue than they were.
  • dunnodunno
    dunnodunno Posts: 2,290 Member
    Bump!
  • susanrechter
    susanrechter Posts: 386 Member
    are you kidding? from flab to fab!!!!:smokin:
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    Nope, nobody has said anything at all.
  • Yes people I don't generally see that often have been saying to me that I look look good. I have also been getting looks on the tube when going to work. Either that or it is all in my head lol
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