Not Hating, Why Do Women Struggle With The Gym?

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  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    Everyone who is having fun listing all the reasons not to go to the gym cause it sucks - you stand on this side of the room.

    Everyone who is willing to do whatever it takes and be uncomfortable and not let anything stand in your way - yall come on this side over here.

    The first group - yall go friendlist each other and yall all sit here and talk about all the things that are wrong with gyms and trainers and weight rooms and the feng shui of bally's and come up with an all encompassing list.

    The second group - we're going to go and take care of business and work around the bothersome stuff that we encounter.

    In a month - let's all get back together in the middle and see which group has made more progress.

    Who's In?

    that is so inspiring and supportive, awesome
  • Wildflower0106
    Wildflower0106 Posts: 247 Member
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    I don't like going to the gym because I find it a waste of time and money when I can workout at home...
  • castadiva
    castadiva Posts: 2,016 Member
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    Probably in large part to do with how strongly women are encouraged to be self-conscious about how they look, at all times, by the society we live in.

    As a late-teen I loathed going to the gym because it meant I was red and sweaty in public, and I wouldn't even think of using the thigh adductor machine because it meant I had to open my legs in public ("legs together, dear" starts VERY early on!). In my early-20s I'd go, but chose a very small hotel gym, and adapted what I did to the number of other people there (avoiding red sweatiness if there were men in the gym) and always wore makeup (mascara and eyebrow pencil) to work out.

    Now, in my early 30s, a lot of the angst has died down, and I go three times a week, sans makeup, and get red and sweaty. I do, however, still feel very self-conscious as the only female in the weights room with all the very-muscly men, and just a bit vulnerable. I'm better at dealing with that now than I was before, though. That said, I still won't jog/run in public near my house because of the red/sweaty/in public factor (and because I just don't like running, and my lungs don't appreciate it)
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
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    Everyone who is having fun listing all the reasons not to go to the gym cause it sucks - you stand on this side of the room.

    Everyone who is willing to do whatever it takes and be uncomfortable and not let anything stand in your way - yall come on this side over here.

    The first group - yall go friendlist each other and yall all sit here and talk about all the things that are wrong with gyms and trainers and weight rooms and the feng shui of bally's and come up with an all encompassing list.

    The second group - we're going to go and take care of business and work around the bothersome stuff that we encounter.

    In a month - let's all get back together in the middle and see which group has made more progress.

    Who's In?

    I'm in

    Lets take care of business.

    Seriously - who gives a duck to what other people are thinking or doing, I bet most of them give you a quick glance and then forget about you. If someone gave me a dirty glance to get off the machines/weights you can be damn sure I'd add in a few sets more. :laugh:

    Maybe I'm lucky because I don't actually care what others think of me at the gym - but for once we really are all there for the same reason, to get fit. We might be coming from different angles, lose weight/build muscle etc but we are all there to work out.

    Also for the notes - everyone at my gym seems nice, I've never seen anyone mocking larger people, peeps who do cardio or barbie weights.

    *though I am judging you if you hog a squat rack to do curls in bro :angry:*
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
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    Everyone who is having fun listing all the reasons not to go to the gym cause it sucks - you stand on this side of the room.

    Everyone who is willing to do whatever it takes and be uncomfortable and not let anything stand in your way - yall come on this side over here.

    The first group - yall go friendlist each other and yall all sit here and talk about all the things that are wrong with gyms and trainers and weight rooms and the feng shui of bally's and come up with an all encompassing list.

    The second group - we're going to go and take care of business and work around the bothersome stuff that we encounter.

    In a month - let's all get back together in the middle and see which group has made more progress.

    Who's In?

    that is so inspiring and supportive, awesome

    Don't forget true. Very very true. :flowerforyou:
  • nneufeld383
    nneufeld383 Posts: 2 Member
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    I now absolutely love going to the gym. Since I changed my goal to strength rather than how I looked - I have progressed so much. My body feels new and strong and I lift comparable to the strong women at the gym. My goal is to be free of my knee pain and back pain and I have accomplished that through TRX, strength training with a trainer for over a year and 1/2, and cardio. My friends call it my SECOND HOME.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    *though I am judging you if you hog a squat rack to do curls in bro :angry:*

    the wrist curlers are starting to get more ire from me than the curl bro's.

    seriously? go use the smith machine for that stupid exercise.
  • KristinNicole82
    KristinNicole82 Posts: 164 Member
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    I love the gym, but I am also a very confident woman. If I don't know how to do something I just ask or I would watch others and duplicate their actions. I am not trying to impress anyone, I am there to workout. Due to my outgoing personality I have made a ton of friends at the gym, they push me and hold me accountable. I know that many people, especially women, are shy and the gym can be intimidating so try and make it a point to talk to new people. There are always going to be idiots at the gym, but there are a lot of very supportive people there too.
  • CWonder003
    CWonder003 Posts: 29 Member
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    I don't mind going to the gym with a friend or my husband, but we cancelled our membership since we rarely used it.

    I dislike running on a treadmill, and I'd much rather dance or do body weight exercises than use the weight machines. I get bored. I don't like having to wait to use something, or have someone stare me down while I work out, waiting for a turn.


    I like running outside because I am going somewhere, I have a destination.

    I like workout videos because they go by much more quickly than me doing a workout by myself.

    I like yoga/pilates/dance classes because I enjoy group exercise settings, and having someone lead me through the workout.

    I used to be a dancer - 4x-6x a week in high school. It is my preferred method of exercise. I don't have the space to do it at home, and right now don't have the $$ to take classes. I love dancing because it is good for my body and is artistic expression at the same time.
  • CWonder003
    CWonder003 Posts: 29 Member
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    I will also add that I am VERY short, and some of the weight machines are very awkward to use or adjust. Some of them don't really adjust for me to use properly.


    I, also, don't like feeling that people are staring at me. It doesn't happen every time, but I really dislike guys that stare. Like, I must be there for THEM or something, not to work out for myself. Ugh.
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
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    The staring thing is really strange, and I'm not a delicate flower because I don't like it. There's a whole alpha thing that some types of guys (and women) do in the free weights section, particularly, that is a whole bit of drama many of us don't enjoy when we're trying to work out. I'm sure many men don't enjoy it either.

    I do alpha. I do it with the big dogs (literally) in my life :D I've been in fist fights, broken someone's nose... the whole works. It's drama. I'm certainly not always in the mood, especially in my mellow middle age. I don't like feeling like someone is trying to intimidate me or have me prove a damned thing.

    All-women's gyms really can be much better about that alpha drama, although the equipment there usually sucks. The women have their own drama, of course, but imho it's easier to let them know with one look that you're not playing. They may not like you after that, but they don't tend to keep at the in-your-face behavior. Or maybe they are less intimidating because they are usually physically less intimidating; I don't know. I will say that I don't like large, muscular men being aggressive/alpha at all with me. I really can't kick their *kitten*, and that's a strange feeling ;)

    I used to give back to obnoxious guys like I would anyone else, but I've run into some freaky misogynists who got a little crazy about that. Some guys are not right in the head about women, and it can be literally dangerous. That doesn't magically go away just because the gym is fun. So... yeah. Not a delicate flower :) That's not exactly the problem, for me anyway.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I used to be a dancer - 4x-6x a week in high school. It is my preferred method of exercise. I don't have the space to do it at home, and right now don't have the $$ to take classes. I love dancing because it is good for my body and is artistic expression at the same time.

    that's actually precisly the main reason WHY I work out at a gym.

    It's 25-45$ an HOUR to rent a studio to dance in.

    i'ts 35$ a month.. and as long as I work out whenever there is no aerobics going on- I can have floor to ceiling mirrors and wood floors whenever I want when the gym is open.

    It's great!
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
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    You know what I think it is, more than anything else? For a lot of women, workout time is "me time." We want it to be a nice, enjoyable escape from daily life and drama -- so if the gym has a drama scene of its own, uh, no thanks. OTOH some women seem to enjoy the social connections or the validation they get from others, and some just couldn't care less.

    I'm mostly a "couldn't care less" type, but I want to do what I want when I want to -- not getting in someone else's way and not having someone else in my own way. When I was using machines at the gym, pre-surgery and immediately post, someone would invariably jump on the machine I was going to use next and I'd have to adjust my plan. The free weights room downstairs usually looks equally crowded, plus some cliques and raging hormones. Pass!

    So I bought my own cheapo rack, bench, bars, and plates, and I do my lifting at home. This was totally worth the cost, especially for a beginner. If I want to spend an hour and a half working on my bar position and squat depth at the rack with an empty bar (as I did, not long ago), I can do it without inconveniencing other folks. Or if I suddenly have to run to the bathroom between work sets, I can do so and then resume without re-racking everything and waiting in line. And I get to hear my own music, or no music, and the room temperature is just what I want it to be. I still have my gym membership -- it's inexpensive -- but I'm finding I don't have much reason to go there anymore, except maybe the rowing machine or adaptive motion trainer for low-impact cardio.

    Again, I think it's a personal thing. I'm an introvert and bookish, the type who will search the forums and read a zillion articles before posting a question. I kind of like working out to be a mostly solitary experience. I'm sure not everyone does and not everyone cares. YMMV!
  • alissadough84
    alissadough84 Posts: 95 Member
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    well, I guess those women don't CrossFit then, because I am most definitely encouraged to be strong. I'd much rather be fit and have muscle than skinny!!!
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
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    Whitebalance, yes! That must be it for me. If the drama level goes up, I don't enjoy that, because I like to have fun with my workouts and not have to concern myself with anyone's drama. Perfect explanation! I also like outdoorsy things to be active, and that's the ultimate no-drama mind-body time :)

    Well, there's some drama outdoors, but I get a rush out of seeing a copperhead yet get irritated at someone throwing too much attitude at me in the gym ;)
  • villagran1999
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    I just think it's better to workout at home because when I go to the gym there are a lot of people that just leave all their sweat at machines or take to long with certain workout equipment.
  • Miss_Izz
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    I am NOT hating. Just asking because this really interests me. IMO it's because they think it's all about running and loosing weight, and it's tied even deeper to their self-image than with men. Not to mention that women are not encouraged to be physically strong/able like men are.

    I know many, many women like the gym, but I'm making a general statement here.

    Discuss.


    Personally, I am reluctant to go to the gym because it's much harder to faceplant on the sidewalk than on a treadmill, and it's free. Gyms are expensive, not the cleanest, and full of stinky, sweaty, people who, half the time, are there to get laid. Buying your own equipment (new or used) is a much better investment than going to a gym as well. I have been to plenty of gyms, and I already hate the way I look..and I don't really need for other people to see me and all of my jelly rolls bouncing around on an elliptical. Exercise is not fun, it is not pleasant, and it is not something many people want to share with the world. As a woman, I refrain from the gym because I have children and it's far more effective for me to give them puzzles and cartoons for an hour, than to leave them with a babysitter. I guess men like to show off more, too...which is understandable because who doesn't like to see some gym action from a sexy man..although it's not worth paying gym fees and getting ringworm. Oh, and, being exposed to sunlight increases dopamine levels....so fresh air and sunlight is far more effective for just about anything than being in a giant air conditioned room full of miserable people tearing their muscles up.
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
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    I am NOT hating. Just asking because this really interests me. IMO it's because they think it's all about running and loosing weight, and it's tied even deeper to their self-image than with men. Not to mention that women are not encouraged to be physically strong/able like men are.

    I know many, many women like the gym, but I'm making a general statement here.

    Discuss.


    Personally, I am reluctant to go to the gym because it's much harder to faceplant on the sidewalk than on a treadmill, and it's free. Gyms are expensive, not the cleanest, and full of stinky, sweaty, people who, half the time, are there to get laid. Buying your own equipment (new or used) is a much better investment than going to a gym as well. I have been to plenty of gyms, and I already hate the way I look..and I don't really need for other people to see me and all of my jelly rolls bouncing around on an elliptical. Exercise is not fun, it is not pleasant, and it is not something many people want to share with the world. As a woman, I refrain from the gym because I have children and it's far more effective for me to give them puzzles and cartoons for an hour, than to leave them with a babysitter. I guess men like to show off more, too...which is understandable because who doesn't like to see some gym action from a sexy man..although it's not worth paying gym fees and getting ringworm. Oh, and, being exposed to sunlight increases dopamine levels....so fresh air and sunlight is far more effective for just about anything than being in a giant air conditioned room full of miserable people tearing their muscles up.

    I don't think I could agree less with a post :noway:

    Especially that last line. :noway:
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Personally, I am reluctant to go to the gym because it's much harder to faceplant on the sidewalk than on a treadmill, and it's free. Gyms are expensive, not the cleanest, and full of stinky, sweaty, people who, half the time, are there to get laid. Buying your own equipment (new or used) is a much better investment than going to a gym as well. I have been to plenty of gyms, and I already hate the way I look..and I don't really need for other people to see me and all of my jelly rolls bouncing around on an elliptical. Exercise is not fun, it is not pleasant, and it is not something many people want to share with the world. As a woman, I refrain from the gym because I have children and it's far more effective for me to give them puzzles and cartoons for an hour, than to leave them with a babysitter. I guess men like to show off more, too...which is understandable because who doesn't like to see some gym action from a sexy man..although it's not worth paying gym fees and getting ringworm. Oh, and, being exposed to sunlight increases dopamine levels....so fresh air and sunlight is far more effective for just about anything than being in a giant air conditioned room full of miserable people tearing their muscles up.


    Wow.

    I just...

    ...wow.



    Good luck with all of your health and fitness goals. :flowerforyou:


    ETA: If my gym were like this, I wouldn't want to go either. Fortunately, although I've seen the inside of at least a couple dozen gyms in my life, I've never experienced anything even close to this.
  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member
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    I am NOT hating. Just asking because this really interests me. IMO it's because they think it's all about running and loosing weight, and it's tied even deeper to their self-image than with men. Not to mention that women are not encouraged to be physically strong/able like men are.

    I know many, many women like the gym, but I'm making a general statement here.

    Discuss.


    Personally, I am reluctant to go to the gym because it's much harder to faceplant on the sidewalk than on a treadmill, and it's free. Gyms are expensive, not the cleanest, and full of stinky, sweaty, people who, half the time, are there to get laid. Buying your own equipment (new or used) is a much better investment than going to a gym as well. I have been to plenty of gyms, and I already hate the way I look..and I don't really need for other people to see me and all of my jelly rolls bouncing around on an elliptical. Exercise is not fun, it is not pleasant, and it is not something many people want to share with the world. As a woman, I refrain from the gym because I have children and it's far more effective for me to give them puzzles and cartoons for an hour, than to leave them with a babysitter. I guess men like to show off more, too...which is understandable because who doesn't like to see some gym action from a sexy man..although it's not worth paying gym fees and getting ringworm. Oh, and, being exposed to sunlight increases dopamine levels....so fresh air and sunlight is far more effective for just about anything than being in a giant air conditioned room full of miserable people tearing their muscles up.

    lolwut :huh:

    I do the outdoors thing; trail running. It's great for cardio, however it's not terribly effective as a lifting program though. For that I go to the gym and tear my muscles up so that they can rebuild with a vengeance and make me mighty. The people in the weight room really don't seem miserable, they seem, like me, pumped and having fun. Some of us love it and are far from miserable. We know that it's the most efficient way to get the results we want and for many of us lifting up progressively heavier stuff is invigorating.

    I'm also very grateful for the air conditioning.

    I admit, sometimes I show off :flowerforyou: