Do not eat sandwiches

We've lost her

I have managed to prevent the Sandwich Corp from infiltrating my thoughts by making myself a special hat. It's a cowboy hat, coated with tin foil, then a second coating made of the special waxy paper used to wrap burgers or shawarma wraps in before they are served to customers. I had to purchase a large quantity of burgers and shawarma wraps in order to get enough of the special paper to fully cover the hat. However the hat is fully covered and fully functional.

In order to protect other people from the temptation of eating said snack foods enclosed in bread products, I ate them myself. Please, don't call me a hero, I did it for the greater good. And it was delici.... I mean a supreme sacrifice.

I now must urge you all to go out and make your special hats in order to protect your brains from infiltration by Sandwich Corp. Many fast food outlets sell the kinds of bread-enclosed snacks that are wrapped in the right kind of special paper.

This has been a public service announcement, I bid you all good day.

bahahaha this is still a thing. Yess.

:: picks up phone ::

I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I cam here to tell you how this is going to be begin. I'm going to hang up this phone. And I'm going to show them what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world, where anything is possible.

Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.

::hangs up phone::
::puts on shades::
::queues awesome rage against the machine music::

How long should I leave it between separately eating bread, butter and potential filling to ensure I don't suffer the "stomach sandwich" effect?

Dear All,

This is Thom's ghost. I am sad to say that my body did, in fact, die post sammich consumption. Fortunately, my spirit has found a computer terminal here in Hell, so I may inform you of the conditions here.

I have found several former Sandwich Corp. bigwigs here in Hell. They do nothing but walk around with freshly made Reubens, veal parm grinders, and PB & banana sandwiches, tempting the masses. At first, I thought I was in heaven. But upon trying my first Reuben here, I found that it tastes much like what I would imagine a "$h!t sandwich" would taste like.

I only have so much time before Satan (aka John Montagu) makes his rounds and catches me on this terminal. I must be brief. REPENT! EAT NO MORE SANDWICHES! ONLY EAT.....

Oh, here he comes!

.....AAAAGH, NO!!!



:your session has expired:

...... help me..... my mind has been overtaken by the Sandwi.....


everything's great! I'm feeling just fine! Everyone go eat a delicious sandwich!


..... that's not me, that's... something... possessing me..... I don't know how they do it.... but help me.....!


mmmmmm sheesh tawook, salad, chips and deep fried aubergine, encased in a....


.....I'm trying to break free of their.... whatever it is they're doing to my brain....


....delicious Lebanese flatbread with hummus spread on it. Mmmm delicious! And so healthy!


....h..e..l..p.......m..e.......

How long should I leave it between separately eating bread, butter and potential filling to ensure I don't suffer the "stomach sandwich" effect?

Excellent question.

The stomach sandwich, known in scientific circles as the 'postmastication conundrum' had been shown to be combatted by 'barrier foods'
Barrier foods are foodstuff that you consume in-between sandwich components that block a stomach sandwich from forming.

Popular barrier foods are whisky, popcorn and starburst. Ideally you want to consume a combination of all these things

YES, YES, YES . . . .first, a shot of whiskey, then put one piece of popcorn between two matchin starburst cubes . . . pop in mouth & wash down with a shot of whiskey

http://glutenfreesingles.com/

Do it. You know you want to.

Stay with us Neander! I'll send the anti sandwich extremists your way!

we puts the anti sandwich extremists in the slices of bread and we eats it. delicious.

we eats the brain of the human that calls itself "neandermagnon" and puts in its place delicious sandwich making machine

we wants speaking to Sandwich Corp human. he is not keep his promise to us. We is angry.