Child support- what do you think?

Too many variables and missing information - did she accidentally get pregnant while on the pill or using condoms? Did he make it clear he did not want children from the start? Were there options for her to choose to not keep the child, knowing he would not be present, and she would be a single parent?


I was a single mom whose partner took off when I became pregnant. He did not want to have the child - I did. I never pursued him for child support because it was not his choice to have the child. I could have had an abortion or given my child up for adoption if I decided I did not want to be a single mom doing it all myself.

Just because "it takes two" to make a baby doesn't mean everyone just has to acquiesce to whatever the woman wants. She has total control of her body and her choices (as she should!), and that means that she has the responsibility to make the right choice for herself and the fetus growing inside her.

She does not want to look bad? Ugh. She can't take care of herself right now, so she needs to quit worrying about her pride and think about her kid. It annoys me when single moms say that they don't need a man, blah blah blah. They're only hurting their kids. She should file ASAP. I'm not really for public assistance, but I know that some ppl fall on hard times. This is one reason that I'm against it. There are lots of single moms who choose not to file child support. There should be a law that the ppl who file for govt assistance should have tried to pursue child support. When there's another working parent out there that can support their own child, they should go in that parent's pockets first, not every other American's! :mad:

I think that parents should have to financially support their children. However, the system is heavily skewed towards women and decisions are often made on emotion. And the payments are often ridiculously high.

Too many variables and missing information - did she accidentally get pregnant while on the pill or using condoms? Did he make it clear he did not want children from the start? Were there options for her to choose to not keep the child, knowing he would not be present, and she would be a single parent?


I was a single mom whose partner took off when I became pregnant. He did not want to have the child - I did. I never pursued him for child support because it was not his choice to have the child. I could have had an abortion or given my child up for adoption if I decided I did not want to be a single mom doing it all myself.

Just because "it takes two" to make a baby doesn't mean everyone just has to acquiesce to whatever the woman wants. She has total control of her body and her choices (as she should!), and that means that she has the responsibility to make the right choice for herself and the fetus growing inside her.

I am glad you said this. As a man I would have been shot for saying it.

1. he should have been using protection if he did not want children
2. so a single mom with lower income should get an abortion rather than work hard to provide a living for their child
3. it takes 2 to tango and guess what? she's the only one dancing right now because he is no where in sight
4. would you be happier with her living off of the state or making him pay?
5. if he does not want to be a father, he should sign over his rights. until then, he should be held accountable and help provide

Personal bias admittance: I am a single dad. However, I am not paying child support. I am raising my children. They visit their mom, and I have never sought child support from her.

The whole child support system is skewed. I know how much money I would have to pay if I did not have custody of my kids, and the amount that actually cost is a small fraction of that. What child support then equates to is ex wife/ex gf/ex mistress/ex whatever support. Because it is way above and beyond what is actually needed to help raise kids, assuming the dad has a decent job.

I am of the firm belief that if child support were more in line with 1/2 the actual cost of raising kids (two parents, each should pay 1/2 the cost), you would see more people willingly stepping up to take care of it. There is no reason that child support should be based on salary, because the cost of raising the child is not changed by how much dad earns. No guy wants to be saddled paying a ton of money, of which only a fraction is actually needed to raise the kids. The end result is they are supporting a child AND the childs mother. It is immoral to expect a man to financially support a woman for 18+ years because he had a child with her. The child, yes. The woman, no.

There should be a baseline cost for raising kids, with locality adjustments. When child support is to be paid, the paying parent pays 1/2 that amount. It doesn't matter how much you make, you are equally responsible to support the child. And it should be adjusted to account for visitation. If the dad has the kids 30% of the time, his payment should be reduced to reflect that he is feeding, clothing, and sheltering the child 30% of the time.

I think that parents should have to financially support their children. However, the system is heavily skewed towards women and decisions are often made on emotion. And the payments are often ridiculously high.

My daughter's father was not forced to pay for EIGHT YEARS even though I filed. The he got let out of a couple thousand in arrears because it wasn't "an enforcable amount" for the state to collect and he ain't offering.

I couldn't afford to go visit my dying grandmother because I'm putting OUR child through college. He's on vacation in Italy rightnow.

Tell me again how women make out so well on the system.

The PARENTS should both equally support the child. The income level of both should be considered. If one of the parents is living at an upper middle class level, the child should be supported to the same, and yes, that means also paying for the parent with which the child lives most of the time to live in an upper middle class house. No, it doesn't mean buying clothes or personal items for the other parent, but it should include clothes, food and housing for the child. I see where it gets touchy. How do we know the parent receiving the support is using the money for the child and not for themselves? That question, I can't answer. These things would be much easier if both parents could behave like friends and adults but I know that rarely happens.

Sometimes the mother makes more. Sometimes the father gets the majority of the custody. Sometimes the mother has to pay child support. Sometimes it comes out even.

Screwing someone with an upper middle class lifestyle does not make a woman deserving of an upper middle class lifestyle. A child deserves to have it's needs met. Period.