Does "Hot Mom" Need to Apologize?
Replies
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I think it's fat shaming, personally. I agree with the person above who said that it's not necessarily an excuse, but a different priority for a lot of people... And IMO it's not her place to label people's priorities as 'excuses'. And looking like she does really is not necessary to be healthy (and probably impossible for a lot of women).. so I think it's a bit uncalled for.
For what it's worth, I found her apology even worse, lol.
THIS! And the fact that she called it an "excuse"! Does she live everyone else's lives - I don't think so? Does she know what everyone else has been through - again, I'm thinkin' not? Not everyone wants (or even needs to look like that). Sad that we as a society have come to this.0 -
No she is not.
She is making the assumption that if you don't look like her you are making excuses.
I am curious what is asking me. Like, "my" excuse for what exactly?
Not having 3 kids (bum cervix, sorry lady)? Or not having the body to wear a what she's wearing (I mean, I do have body and would totally wear that, I just wouldn't look like her.)? How does she know I am making any excuses for anything? I am not. I have failings - and I fail because I am lazy and imperfect sometimes. That's life and all people, even this woman.
What I think a lot of men don't realize is that women face this crazy pressure to have children, but then face this crazy pressure to not "give in and give up" because you are a mother and still look "hot". Not healthy, hot. I give this lady all kinds of credit for being dedicated, she should be proud of it and doesn't need to apologize for her priorities, but neither does anyone else. I don't think she had any ill intent based on her previous writings, but her faux apology on facebook fueled the fire because she suggested not all people's feelings count because obesity is such an epidemic. Which is what a lot of people here also believe -- maybe of them spouting that off are still overweight or obese and that seems like a whole lot like self loathing.
The truth is, this woman should be annoyed that she has been deemed "hot mom" because is a successful business woman. She shouldn't have fake apologized because all of her writings prior to this event support her claim that she wasn't trying to shame - but that little facebook post "apology" made it a whole lot easier to believe she was just being smug.0 -
No way! People are just mad that she had more opportunities to slack off than they did, and she still took the hard road, kicked @ss, and came out stronger for it.
Good for her.0 -
The first three threads about her weren't sufficient?0
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Not at all. If I were her, I'd post another picture similar to this
People are jealous, that's all. It shows nothing of her being a bad mother
Edited to say: although is she hadn't of put "what's your excuse" up top, I think a lot more would be supportive of this.0 -
Does she look good? Yes. Does that take a lot of hard work and dedication? Yes. Does she deserve props for that? Yes.
However upon seeing this model's(her occupation was mentioned in an article) picture I had a few more questions. Does she have a personal trainer? Does she have a maid? Does she have a cook? Does she have a nanny? If yes to any of the above then she isn't actually in the same position as the average mom trying to lose the baby weight. So to compare apples and oranges wouldn't be fair. The other question that came up for me as a mother- Why take a sexy picture with your children? It seemed like it belonged on the awkward family photo site.0 -
I don't think she is fat shaming, but she is making the assumption that everyone that doesn't look like her is making excuses. Maybe not everyone wants to be that fit. To me, inspirational, but I can see where to others it might be offensive.
This. I dont think everyone who does not look like her makes "excuses". It comes off very much "look at me, im better then you, what are you doing with your life" ykwim?0 -
Ahh the internet........................
I don't think she's all that to be honest...I have had better.0 -
Does she look good? Yes. Does that take a lot of hard work and dedication? Yes. Does she deserve props for that?
Yes. However upon seeing this model's(her occupation was mentioned in an article) picture I had a few more questions. Does she have a personal trainer? Does she have a maid? Does she have a cook? Does she have a nanny? If yes to any of the above then she isn't actually in the same position as the average mom trying to lose the baby weight. So to compare apples and oranges wouldn't be fair. The other question that came up for me as a mother- Why take a sexy picture with your children? It seemed like it belonged on the awkward family photo site.
Many of those questions were hashed out in a prior thread.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1117648-why-is-this-even-remotely-controversial
To repeat:
“I'm sorry you took an image and resonated with it in such a negative way. I won't go into details that I struggled with my genetics, had an eating disorder, work full time owning two businesses, have no nanny, am not naturally skinny and do not work as a personal trainer,” she wrote, in part. “What I WILL say is this. What you interpret is not MY fault. It's yours. The first step in owning your life, your body and your destiny is to OWN the thoughts that come out of your own head. I didn't create them. You created them. So if you want to continue ‘hating’ this image, get used to hating many other things for the rest of your life.”0 -
people are pissed for being called out that they are fat and lazy. oh well tough ****. she looks great, good for her. it is totally possible to get your body back after 3 kids with hard work and clearly she has done that. she doesn't need to apologize for jack ****. the people throwing an uproar are probably overweight and jealous0
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For me, I was thinking at first that this phrase was jerky. Like the picture of the one leg man which I commented on and then I thought about the phrase "Whats your excuse?". Why am I big? Who do I have to blame? And what am I doing about it?
As someone who has been bullied and someone who is still big: I say, there are no excuse. I have arthritis so I go to water aerobics. I have GERD, a bad back, PTSD and a whole other host of things that I could feel sorry for myself and sit on the couch and eat ice cream.
Whatever is holding you back there are ways around these things to get where you want to be. Is this lady saying you have to look like her? NO, I don't think so. But I do get the feeling that this generation is getting to the point of insanity with the victimizing and enabling. This society is getting too sensitive. We feel sorry for those who sit around with reasons and talk down those people who work hard (some people are saying she is rich and has help:SO WHAT).
**If you don't like something about yourself: whether it be education, health, work, relationships, spiritual. get out there and do something. Instead of judging these people, have you really asked your self" What are my excuses? And, what can I do about it?"0 -
So... this woman has been in the news this week. Former model, 3 kids under 3, rockin' bod, posts this picture, and hate mail ensued.
Apparently, this has caused many people to get their proverbial panties in a bunch.
They claim she's fat shaming.
Is she?
Where is the line between fat shaming, health, and non-model reality?
What excuses have we made for ourselves?
What excuses do we continue to make?
Does she owe an apology?
I say no.
What if Hot mom's significant other earns a 7 figure quarterly bonus on top of a 7 figure salary, , can afford a team of child minders for each kid and not have a job to go to?
"Hot Mom" is basically saying that regardless of your circumstances, you should be embarrassed for not being fit, healthy and hot.
If ' hot mom' worked a job, was a full time parent as well as a full time employee, then maybe she could rightly say she found a way. For every day people, who is anyone to judge the reasons preventing a person from being hot,fit and healthy?
I don't think she's all that to be honest...I have had better.
lol you don't look like you would have had better. i don't believe that statement.
do some research and see what you find out about her. you may be surprised.0 -
hell to the no-people get way to involved in other peoples lives! She looks great and good for her!
She does not need to apologize to anyone...
Having said that, she decided to involve herself in others lives by asking them what their excuse was.0 -
She has two businesses and gets up at 6am to get to the gym by 6:30 and is home around 7:30am. She just makes it a priority. It doesn't have to take hours a day to get fit. You don't even have to do it at the gym.0
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Does she look good? Yes. Does that take a lot of hard work and dedication? Yes. Does she deserve props for that?
Yes. However upon seeing this model's(her occupation was mentioned in an article) picture I had a few more questions. Does she have a personal trainer? Does she have a maid? Does she have a cook? Does she have a nanny? If yes to any of the above then she isn't actually in the same position as the average mom trying to lose the baby weight. So to compare apples and oranges wouldn't be fair. The other question that came up for me as a mother- Why take a sexy picture with your children? It seemed like it belonged on the awkward family photo site.
Many of those questions were hashed out in a prior thread.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1117648-why-is-this-even-remotely-controversial
To repeat:
“I'm sorry you took an image and resonated with it in such a negative way. I won't go into details that I struggled with my genetics, had an eating disorder, work full time owning two businesses, have no nanny, am not naturally skinny and do not work as a personal trainer,” she wrote, in part. “What I WILL say is this. What you interpret is not MY fault. It's yours. The first step in owning your life, your body and your destiny is to OWN the thoughts that come out of your own head. I didn't create them. You created them. So if you want to continue ‘hating’ this image, get used to hating many other things for the rest of your life.”0 -
What is the difference between "What's Your Excuse" and "Just Do It" ? I say no she doesn't apoloize and instead of wishing I look like that ----Make myself look like that. ----Or eat the box of Ho Ho's:huh:0
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Does she look good? Yes. Does that take a lot of hard work and dedication? Yes. Does she deserve props for that?
Yes. However upon seeing this model's(her occupation was mentioned in an article) picture I had a few more questions. Does she have a personal trainer? Does she have a maid? Does she have a cook? Does she have a nanny? If yes to any of the above then she isn't actually in the same position as the average mom trying to lose the baby weight. So to compare apples and oranges wouldn't be fair. The other question that came up for me as a mother- Why take a sexy picture with your children? It seemed like it belonged on the awkward family photo site.
Many of those questions were hashed out in a prior thread.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1117648-why-is-this-even-remotely-controversial
To repeat:
“I'm sorry you took an image and resonated with it in such a negative way. I won't go into details that I struggled with my genetics, had an eating disorder, work full time owning two businesses, have no nanny, am not naturally skinny and do not work as a personal trainer,” she wrote, in part. “What I WILL say is this. What you interpret is not MY fault. It's yours. The first step in owning your life, your body and your destiny is to OWN the thoughts that come out of your own head. I didn't create them. You created them. So if you want to continue ‘hating’ this image, get used to hating many other things for the rest of your life.”
This is the best wording for it. I like how people just created things about her. It always starts with "Well she must..." and then some assumption. I'm sorry, you don't know this woman, so you can't just assume she's had life easy and that it had been easy for her to do this. Many people want to believe it was easy for her, because they don't want to accept that they can do this themselves if they put some hard work into it like she has.0 -
NO, she doesn't owe anyone an apology cuz she was NOT saying, "NYAH! I'm hot, you're not and never will be." What she was saying was, "Hey, if I can get it done, what's stopping you? Quit making excuses for yourself to stay unhealthy."
Pretty much we've all been guilty at one time or another. But the truth is...if you really, truly want to get fit, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll just continue hiding behind the excuses.0 -
Just proves the point....A hater is gonna hate!0
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It is not fat-hating, it is motivation!!! People need better things to do with their time than get online and bash someone like her!0
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My take on this (having only seen the picture & knowing nothing about her)
What would she be apologising for? Just because a bunch of jerks declared it 'fat shaming week' does not mean that somebody posting a picture of them with a great body that has been worked for and that they are very understandably proud of does not mean that they are 'fat shaming'0 -
Its probably a whole lot easier to stay in shape through 3 pregnancies than to *get* in shape after the fact. She probably hasn't *ever* been "fat".0
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Just proves the point....A hater is gonna hate!
She invited it by asking a question and has to be prepared to deal with negative responses.0 -
1... It can be done. I have 6 kids, work 48-56 hours a week and still lost 75 pounds in a year.
2... Maria is a model that owns her own buisness and works our with her hubby..... so someone else has to be watching her kids while she works out. - I can see where "normal" people could see the pic as offensive. I mean how many people can afford a sitter so they can exercise? I have to take mine with me which can be a PITA some day.
I can hate how easy she can make it look, but if I am too lazy to work out it is my fault not hers.0 -
Its probably a whole lot easier to stay in shape through 3 pregnancies than to *get* in shape after the fact. She probably hasn't *ever* been "fat".
If you check out her website or Facebook page you will see she went through a period where she was overweight. It looks like she stayed in shape through her pregnancies, but still had to lose 25 pounds.
She has a pretty tough workout schedule. You have to be pretty dedicated to keep up with it WITHOUT kids.0 -
What is the difference between that picture of her and the "What's Your Excuse" caption and something like this:
Or this:
Or even this:
They're all saying the same thing. So what if it's not the kind of body you want to attain? If you think she's fat shaming then you are reading way too much into it. Is it fat shaming when they show fitness models on the front of fitness magazines? Are the people who have their abs, selfies of their bodies etc. as their profile picture here also fat shaming because it's showing off their accomplishment and what they look like? Are you upset over it because it's a body type that's not yours nor will you attain it? Apparently not because when they proudly point out "That's me right there in my avi!" everyone ooh's and ahhh's over how hot they are, how gorgeous "would bang! 10/10! woooooooooo!" But because this mom of three had a professional photo done with her kids (which not sure why people think that's creepy. What's the difference between her posing in a studio in workout clothes and posing on the beach in a bikini with her kids?) and it says "What's your excuse".
People are too sensitive and jump on the 'Oh I am SO offended!" band wagon because they're not owning up to their own faults and have to lash out at someone who clearly has worked hard to get to where she is. Oh, and for the record she's NOT a fitness model or a fitness instructor. She owns two businesses. She doesn't work out all day and she says that she has her husbands assistance or uses the gym daycare. The point of her picture is that there are no excuses. That you need to get out of your own head and off the couch and get moving if you want to lose weight and be fit.
What's the difference between saying that and "Just Do It?" No one blasts Nike over that slogan and yet this mom of 3 gets blasted over essentially saying the same thing.
Oh right. Because in some peoples eyes she's fat shaming but Nike isn't.
Get over yourself. Get off the couch and Just Do It.0 -
People are soooooo ridiculous and get offended over EVERYTHING. No way do I think she needs ir should apologize. That took hard work, dedication and determination! She should be proud and feel free to share!!!!!!0
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If you had asked me this question a few years ago, while I was still in the obese category and was completely inactive and depressed, then, yes, I would have replied that she was expressing a "shaming attitude". I would have said that she needed to apologize, and that not everyone can do what she does, and that she probably has a nanny. I would have asked who could possibly do what she did with a full-time job and children and a house to take care of and bills to pay. I would have asked, "Who has time to work out six hours a day?" Blah, blah, blah.
However, my perspective has changed. Now that I have worked hard to lose nearly fifty pounds and don't look anywhere near as good as thing young woman does, I can appreciate all the effort that it requires for her to maintain her health and fitness to such a degree. She has a beautiful, healthy body. She did not get this beautiful, healthy body by magic. It takes a lot of effort, hard work, vigilance, dedication, persistence, discipline, etc. to achieve and maintain what she has achieved and maintained. She has chosen to make her health and fitness a priority in her life, even with a busy schedule and three young children.
Now, I say, "Kudos, Lady!" And, "More power to her!"
Every person can choose to make their health and fitness more of a priority in their lives. We don't all have access to the same resources, but we can all do something to improve our health and fitness. Do what you can with the time that you have. Move your body. Eat enough, not too much. Take care of yourself.0 -
Is this a serious question? What's the difference between not having appendages and working out and having 3 kids and working out? Quite a bit in my book.0
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What is the difference between that picture of her and the "What's Your Excuse" caption and something like this:
Or this:
Or even this:
I think the difference is that society as a whole doesn't expect people with physical disabilities to have "hot" bodies or be in any particular shape. Women are expected to want children and then be "MILF"s when they are done pushing them out. Again, I don't think this woman needs to apologize, but maybe wonder if how she is approaching "motivation" feeds into the idea that looks get you more press than 1) owning a business that helps care for people or 2) running a charity that helps children.0
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