Not Hating, Why Do Women Struggle With The Gym?

I am NOT hating. Just asking because this really interests me. IMO it's because they think it's all about running and loosing weight, and it's tied even deeper to their self-image than with men. Not to mention that women are not encouraged to be physically strong/able like men are.

I know many, many women like the gym, but I'm making a general statement here.

Discuss.

QFT. I get asked or "talked to" every day about my decision to build muscle. Both men and women ask me why I don't want to just "use light weights and tone my muscles", they tell me I am eating too much, I'm not doing enough, I'm not losing enough weight, or that I should just be happy with the way I am.

I'm going to lift heavy.
I'm going to lose fat.
Anyone who tries to stop me will fail.

Awesome attitude...

...and I suspect that the frequency with which you're challenged about it gives you a lot of opportunity to practice telling people to bugger off. Maybe that's what some of the people in this thread need to do...start practicing some assertiveness (or at least realize that 99.44% of the time, other people really aren't *that* invested in what you are or aren't doing).

I think the stats might be different for women Seeing a guy in the freeweights section isn't as much of a curiosity or chance for a lech as it is when the lifter is female. And I do have a feeling that some guys like to intimidate the women into hurrying up/going away more than they do the men, because they feel like it's easier to intimidate a woman (and it usually is). Unsolicited advice may happen as often for men, I think, because fitness people like to give advice. But that inevitability might even be higher for a woman, because it is more assumed (by macho guys) that a woman doesn't know what she's doing.

As far as getting fit doubling as assertiveness training, it's probably true that it needs to be that when going to a gym. But not everyone is interested in or needs assertiveness training. Folks want to get fit. It would be nice if they could just get fit the way they enjoy, I think.

I probably do need assertiveness training that makes my natural response less confrontational. I either get involved in more drama than I'm in the mood for, or I just try to ignore the person, which gets old when they keep pushing. Or is saying 'Go away. You're being a d*ck' accepted protocol, lol?

Ummmm, I'm guilty of intimidating a guy out of the cage just this week. In my defense, my gym only has one and he was doing curls in it (light ones at that), and as part of a circuit no less! So, yeah.

Ummmm, I'm guilty of intimidating a guy out of the cage just this week. In my defense, my gym only has one and he was doing curls in it (light ones at that), and as part of a circuit no less! So, yeah.

totally guilty of same thing and acceptable time to give someone the stink eye.

Yeah. I'm done that on more than one occasion. I asked a young man to move because he was doing BB rows. He was confused until I showed him how to do them off the floor.

I was very intimidated when I first joined a gym years ago. The more you learn, the less intimidated you become.

For me, it is because I am unsure of what to do and I feel intimidated. ... Prior to working with the trainer I would do the treadmill or elliptical because that is what I knew how to do. It was easier to do what I knew than to be embarrassed for doing the weights incorrectly and being laughed at.

I find this answer to be the most common. I would say the majority of girls never do "weight-lifting" in school so don't have any amt of comfort level with free weights. 25 years ago I somehow found out about Rachel McLish and I bought her book and taught myself what to do at the gym because I wanted to look like her. Lifting weights transformed my body then, and 25 years later it's still the best exercise I've ever done. But I go to the gym with a plan, I do my workout, I don't talk to guys -- usually don't even make eye contact. I'm not unfriendly, it's just that I am not there for the social aspect, and when that happens, it can really throw a girl/woman off because she suddenly feels self-conscious and not "into" her workout.

When I say I go with a plan, I have all my exercises in my phone with most reps/sets/weights planned out and I stay focused. A lot of times I've looked up how to do exercises from my favorite online coaches, YouTube videos, etc. It takes time to plan a good workout. A lot of women don't realize this and feel lost at the gym.

Getting on a treadmill, bike, elliptical is pretty easy, right? Learning what to do with weights and all that takes more effort.

I do have to say my pet peeve with trainers is that sometimes I see them doing stuff with women they will NEVER come into the gym and do on their own, alone. I think trainers could do such a service to women by teaching them the basics and letting them know there's a lot of information out there to learn from.

Maybe that kind of initiative doesn't happen until they start seeing some results first, after about six weeks.

It's cause I'm waiting for prince charming to come and save me in the free weight, but all these dudebros and fitchicks are walking in front of me, ruining my damsel in distress plank pose.

It's a struggle man.

it's a war.

I'm going to lift heavy.
I'm going to lose fat.
Anyone who tries to stop me will fail.

Don't like it, don't look. Period. I'm 229lbs. Deal with it. :-p

I used to be scared of the gym. Most of the machines were so foreign to me, and I didn't like the stares I got from people. Looking back, most of that was all in my head. I was just nervous in an environment I felt I didn't belong. I wasn't ready to lose weight and get in shape back then.

When I was finally ready to focus on losing weight, I went to the gym for me. I decided I didn't care who stared at me--I was there for me and they could do whatever. Turns out not many people stare. A few do, but it's not the evil eyes I envisioned. I have run into a couple evil eyes, but if you glare right back at them you'll eventually win the staring contest and they'll back down, lol. The free weights are intimidating. At first I just wanted to do the machines, but I eventually realized free weights were more fun and natural feeling.

A lot of girls never get to the point of not caring what other people think of them. Many also have no idea what getting toned actually requires.

For me personally it can be a struggle to go. I'm in college and so gym access is included but I kid you not if I had the extra money I would pay to go to a different one because college gyms just make me feel insecure. When I get on my elliptical and start going I look around at everyone else and I look for someone who looks like me, and I never see anyone who does. They all look so fit and happy and none of their faces are red like mine are and it's hard. I once heard a conversation between two women where the one like "I hate the beginning of the breaks all the fat people get in the way of us using our machines and you know their just gonna give up in two week." I was appalled and ok I kind of wanted to punch her but that's besides the point. So yeah that's why I don't like the gym, but I go and will continue going!

I used to HATE the gym....for many of the reasons already posted in reply. But now, it's the best way for me to get my exercise in. I go in, usually with a plan, stick to the plan, ignore almost everyone (and I do try to ignore the mirrors because I do not need to see what I look like while I'm working out LOL.) When I leave, I'm usually slightly elated, because I accomplished something for myself first thing in the morning. I wouldn't say I LOVE the gym - yet, but it's become such a big part of my routine that I have learned to like it.