Women in relationships aren't allowed to have male friends?

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Replies

  • nonstopper
    nonstopper Posts: 1,108 Member
    hummmmm
  • My male friends dont let me have coffee with their girlfriends/wives. I mean I thought a friendship was a two way street, who cares If i discuss god knows what with your girl while youre at work, and she just so happens to really enjoy my company. pffft.:grumble:
  • FerretBuellerr
    FerretBuellerr Posts: 468 Member
    I was in a relationship like that once...

    It didn't last long.

    Trust issues like that make good relationships next to impossible, and end up being a complete waste of energy IMHO.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,999 Member
    If my boyfriend told me I couldn't be friends with another guy...he wouldn't be my boyfriend anymore. Period.
  • DeltaZero
    DeltaZero Posts: 1,197 Member
    The kitchen is a lonely place.




    (kidding.)



    (can you make me a sandwich?)
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,165 Member
    Actually, I wouldn't want my husband texting a female friend often either. Maybe I am controlling.
  • running_shoe
    running_shoe Posts: 180 Member
    You teach people how to treat you. Trust needs to be give and take, earned and deserved.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,415 Member
    I think individual relationships have different dynamics, but I had a lot of male friends before I met my SO and no way I'm giving them up just because I'm involved with someone.

    They were my friends before I met him and nothing happened. It isn't going to happen now. And if he has a problem with that, he isn't for me. I don't mind if he has female friends, but I think it's an issue if he tries to hide something like that because if you're hiding it, you're up to no good.

    I'm not insecure, either. I figure if he's going to leave me for someone else, I didn't want him, anyway, so see ya!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
    I wouldn't have a boyfriend who tells me I'm not allowed to have male friends. If I am calling someone my boyfriend, that means he has reached pretty rare status with me, and I trust and highly value his opinions on the character of other people. I would want to hear his thoughts in that regard (for instance, if he thought one particular male friend was interested in more than friendship). However, an all-encompassing "ban" on male friends? Absolutely not. I'm a grown woman, and unless our last names are the same, you don't have that much pull with me.
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
    Funny. In my experience this double standard works the other way around... i.e. women are allowed to have male friends and no one bats an eyelid, but men aren't allowed to have female friends.

    Most of my male friends are pretty trusting in their relationships and have no issues with pre-existing male friends of their girlfriends, however I have some male friends who have excessively jealous girlfriends who don't 'tolerate' him having female friends.
  • InForBacon
    InForBacon Posts: 1,508 Member
    Pfft, I keep my hos on lock. They know better than to stray. I'm more man than any one woman can handle that's why I gots multiple women but they are only allowed to have me.

    Hell yea, Short leash, Pimp hand stay strong. GATOR DONT PLAY DAT !!
    Fo Sho playa
  • CharlzO
    CharlzO Posts: 96 Member
    Just a quick chime in, cause I've been on both ends of this one myself... Has he been hurt or burned in the past by someone, that he's mentioned? It doesn't make it right, but it might be a little more insight as to why he might get nervous about other guys. It also is an insecurity. I was the same way. I found a great girl once, but I was so in disbelief that she chose me, that I was always afraid some other guy was going to make her smile, and she'd realize they were better than I was, and leave me. I've also had a gf who DID end up with guys that started out as "just friends", so I can certainly understand where he's coming from.

    However, he needs to ultimately realize that you're with HIM for a reason or reasons, and that those reasons are what are keeping you with him, and not looking to get out. It's hard for someone to grip that, but If he can get a handle on that, then maybe it'll ease up. Maybe you and him should get coffee with one of those guys, so he can see that you aren't all flirty and stuff with the other guy, and maybe it'll ease it.

    Or, it's possible there's just no help for him, and then...that's a lot more difficult, to try to stay in where there's that much of a trust issue.
  • Trust issues. I have female friends I talk to every day and my fiancee has male friends she talks to and hangs out with all the time. I am amazingly secure in my relationship and like she has no reason to think I would step out on her, I have no reason to distrust her around her male friends. She's a big girl and knows how to say no if someone makes an advance on her. Which if ineffective will likely be followed by a right hook from her. :)
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,482 Member
    Because women are the weaker gender and they cannot be trusted with their feelings. Who knows when feelings will overwhelm you and you will jump on that "friend". There is a reason all women are strictly prohibited from talking to men or even showing their face/bodies in the middle east.
    QFT

    Truth, brotha.
  • michelefrench
    michelefrench Posts: 814 Member
    Pfft, I keep my hos on lock. They know better than to stray. I'm more man than any one woman can handle that's why I gots multiple women but they are only allowed to have me.

    OMG - I laughed so hard coffee came out my nose...THANK YOU :flowerforyou:
    This wasn't a joke. Not sure why you are laughing.

    stop it..you're killing me....
  • xSirensSong
    xSirensSong Posts: 617 Member
    Mutual respect. He should not treat you in any way that he wouldn't find acceptable in receiving.

    My husband & I both don't see the point in being super great friends with the opposite sex. As corny as this sounds, my husband IS my best friend. I should be able to do everything I love to do with him ~ no other man should take that role away from him.

    Granted, I am friends with his guy friends, and actually am gym buddies with one of them, but not without making sure my husband was comfy first. He wanted it that way because he wanted them to accept me into their 'circle', so it'd be comfy. Same way with my friends.

    Any way you look at it, in a healthy relationship, double standards are BS.
  • Broderick50
    Broderick50 Posts: 851 Member
    I believe Chris Rock explained it best when he said men don't have women friends they just have women they haven't [email protected] yet.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,288 Member
    Would not fly in my relationship. I have lots of guy friends and I am friends with a lot of his too. If a guy ever told me what I could/could NOT do, I would dump him.
  • wjstoj
    wjstoj Posts: 884 Member
    "Men and women can't be friends, the sex always gets in the way" ~Harry Burns~
  • Chain_Ring
    Chain_Ring Posts: 753 Member
    "Trust and you'll be trusted"........................Said the liar to the fool.