What's going on with the MFP bad attitudes? :(

There does seem to be a clique of people who have been here for a while and have long since reached goal and have a lot of good knowlege to share with us new people.

I think the problem is that it's hard, psychologically, to remember that each new person who asks about their 1200 calorie diet or the caloric demon of the day is new, really is confused and has been bombarded by sensationalized information regarding nutrition.

It's a conversation that they have had a thousand times before, and they seem to be treating all these people as the same person, who happens to be frustratingly slow to learn to use the search button but quick to make a mean people thread

I understand this, to an extent, as I work in technical support and I have to make a large effort to remember that each new person who has no idea where to begin with their smartphone has not heard the 1000 other conversations I've had on the subject.

Combine this with the fact that they all seem to be friends, see each other's comments and tend to pile on, and you get an environment that seems hostile to newbies.

Also, a lot of them are young/old and have worked hard to get and remain fit, tend to lift heavy and try to stop people doing stupid fad diets and get them to see that weight loss can be simple.

The best advice for noobs, including myself, is to do your best to search previous topics before posting. And if you do post keep and open mind about the answers you get as there is normally excellent advice in the replies.

It's a shame, because we all do like the one on one attention and getting our specific questions answered.

Also, don't be one of those people who posts just to get validation. If you already "know" the answer and you are not going to change your mind, then don't "ask" about it.

FIFY

Okay, I creeper your profile:
Under 40, Check
Lifting heavy: check
Only had 11 lb to lose: check
thousands of posts: check
5 out of 6 friends that show all seem to be under 40 and have 1000s of posts and, from what I remember of them, lift heavy.

I understand that there are lost of people on this site from different backgrounds, but there does seem to be an extended group of people with these characteristics who have gotten exceedingly tired of "stupid fad diets".

I don't blame you for this, I have received a lot of useful advice from this group, but I can see how someone new here, who has been told by everybody else that 1200 cals is the proper dieting level for women, that paleo is the way to go and that cardiovascular is what you need may be off put when people fail to answer her questions with patience.

Sorry my age appears to be an issue for you :ohwell:

I have more than 6 friends - and I don't pick them by age or activities.

I do lft heavy but I also run and bike - I'm planning on doing a tri next year. I like a balance.

I didn't have only 11lbs to lose - I reset my ticker - that's just my current goal.

Everyone should be tired of stupid fad diets.

And if you have received lots of good advice from this group - I don't really see what your issue is.

Oh and I have 1000's of posts as I like to try to help people - not just whine and moan and create mean people threads. But people and threads like this make me wonder why I bother.

Oh and you add the tone to the posts you read - think about it.

Well, here is an example.

Besides having received helpful advice. I didn't mean any of that.

You "fixed" my post. That seemed snarky. I know you might not mean it that way.

This is exactly my point. I posted an opinion, you "corrected" it. I used you as an example as what *I* as a new person have encountered. You took what I said out of context. Probably thinking I was snarking on you, which I get.

This all creates for an environment that can seem hostile.

This is not my intention. I promise.

You are ignoring this user

Okay. What I mean is, how a post is read can vary greatly depending on circumstances. If you have been here a long time and you have a lot of friends and feel at home, you're not going to be as sensitive to sarcasm or criticism. You're just not. To you, this is a safe place, you know the rules, you have more information regarding nutrition and fitness in general and you have seen all the posts before, sometimes 1000s of times.

If you are new here, you are often alone. You may not know much yet and this place does not feel safe yet.

When these new people ask questions, that the old people are going to find tiresome by this point, the new person may read the blunt and to the point answers of the old people as hostile, especially if they are piled on. The old people won't see it this way, they already feel safe here and are "just talking".

The only reason I pointed out the similarities of what I see as the old group (of which I may have been mistaken) is to show that they are used to people like them with similar experience, and this can cause it to be more difficult to empathize with the fear and uncertainty of someone who is new.

I'm so glad that you posted this. I don't post at all because of the sarcastic, rude people on here. People come here for advice and motivation. I honestly don't think they would ask questions if they knew the answers. What they get is rude commentary from people who think everyone must think the same way they do. At first I enjoyed reading posts in the community. Now I rarely read because of this very thing.

Mama must not have taught them the same thing mama taught me.... if you can't say something nice... you know the rest...

I wonder if Mama would have approved of this post . . .

But...shades of grey, right?

Preferably 50 of them...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPBt4IuQEbw

Riding on their armchairs
They dream of wealth and fame
Fear is their companion
Nintendo is their game
Never done jack and two thumbs Don
And sidekick don't say ****
They'll laugh at others failures
Though they have not done ****...

There does seem to be a clique of people who have been here for a while and have long since reached goal or were never overweight to begin with.

I think the problem is that it's hard, psychologically, to remember that each new person who asks about their 1200 calorie diet or the caloric demon of the day is new, really is confused and has been bombarded by sensationalized information regarding nutrition.

It's a conversation that they have had a thousand times before, and they seem to be treating all these people as the same person, who happens to be frustratingly slow to learn.
I understand this, to an extent, as I work in technical support and I have to make a large effort to remember that each new person who has no idea where to begin with their smartphone has not heard the 1000 other conversations I've had on the subject.

Combine this with the fact that they all seem to be friends, see each other's comments and tend to pile on, and you get an environment that seems hostile to newbies.
Also, a lot of them are young and have always been fit, tend to lift heavy and forget that not everyone is like them and that people may have different needs.

The best advice for noobs, including myself, is to do your best to search previous topics before posting.
It's a shame, because we all do like the one on one attention and getting our specific questions answered.

Also, don't be one of those people who posts just to get validation. If you already "know" the answer and you are not going to change your mind, then don't "ask" about it.

Well said. I think the best that anyone can do is take the snark with a grain of salt, and pay attention to the posts made by those who are actually trying to help and/or offer support.