What's going on with the MFP bad attitudes? :(
Replies
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I'm so glad that you posted this. I don't post at all because of the sarcastic, rude people on here. People come here for advice and motivation. I honestly don't think they would ask questions if they knew the answers. What they get is rude commentary from people who think everyone must think the same way they do. At first I enjoyed reading posts in the community. Now I rarely read because of this very thing.
Mama must not have taught them the same thing mama taught me.... if you can't say something nice... you know the rest...
I wonder if Mama would have approved of this post . . .
I don't mean that you shouldn't say what you believe, but being considerate and respectful should be common sense for all people. I would say that upwards of 75% of the people who read these boards don't look like the body in your profile pic. They are here to try to improve their health and feel better about themselves. A little courtesy from everyone isn't too much to ask.0 -
There does seem to be a clique of people who have been here for a while and have long since reached goal or were never overweight to begin with.
I think the problem is that it's hard, psychologically, to remember that each new person who asks about their 1200 calorie diet or the caloric demon of the day is new, really is confused and has been bombarded by sensationalized information regarding nutrition.
It's a conversation that they have had a thousand times before, and they seem to be treating all these people as the same person, who happens to be frustratingly slow to learn.
I understand this, to an extent, as I work in technical support and I have to make a large effort to remember that each new person who has no idea where to begin with their smartphone has not heard the 1000 other conversations I've had on the subject.
Combine this with the fact that they all seem to be friends, see each other's comments and tend to pile on, and you get an environment that seems hostile to newbies.
Also, a lot of them are young and have always been fit, tend to lift heavy and forget that not everyone is like them and that people may have different needs.
The best advice for noobs, including myself, is to do your best to search previous topics before posting.
It's a shame, because we all do like the one on one attention and getting our specific questions answered.
Also, don't be one of those people who posts just to get validation. If you already "know" the answer and you are not going to change your mind, then don't "ask" about it.
Well said. I think the best that anyone can do is take the snark with a grain of salt, and pay attention to the posts made by those who are actually trying to help and/or offer support.0 -
But...shades of grey, right?
Preferably 50 of them...
:laugh:0 -
If there is a repeated thread and the poster does not know if it has been posted earlier. He/she will receive lots of bashing, not again! kinda attitude. Many times original thread is lost and 2-3 people end up having strong argument about the attitude.
I totally agree it should be courteous environment on here and no body is obliged to reply to threads. if you dont like something dont reply, simple! Keep Calm and Move on:bigsmile:0 -
There are really some really sad people in this world. The reason they are saying those things to you is because there is something DEEPLY wrong with them, not you. It still is hurtful, but keep in mind that these are people who are so miserable with their own lives, they are sitting on this site and making nasty, vile comments to innocent women looking for encouragement. There is a very special place for them
*This post is in response to the girl who posted she was looking for dating advice and got a bunch of horrible responses. Don't know why it didn't post under that one.
To the OP, ignore the idiots of the world. It takes a strong and intelligent person to have class and tact, and clearly there are A LOT of people without.0 -
Just because some people think they know everything doesn't mean that it's truth.
Nevermind all these people that think they can make you feel sad or generally bad. Focus on your good fitness pals that are supportive and have a positive aura 0 -
This thread needs more William Shatner...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPBt4IuQEbwRiding on their armchairs
They dream of wealth and fame
Fear is their companion
Nintendo is their game
Never done jack and two thumbs Don
And sidekick don't say ****
They'll laugh at others failures
Though they have not done ****...0 -
OP each every day there are similar posts...this was yesterdays ( I may have missed something in between)
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1133381-what-s-with-all-the-hate
All I can suggest is if you feel you are being bullied in any way, then report the post to a mod using the report button. Use the ignore function.
There really is no need for people to be rude/inconsiderate to other users.
Take time to use the search button to check out questions you may have as they most likely have been covered. But having said that, you should be able to ask the same questions without people being rude.
Good luck with your weight loss x0 -
There does seem to be a clique of people who have been here for a while and have long since reached goal or were never overweight to begin with.
I think the problem is that it's hard, psychologically, to remember that each new person who asks about their 1200 calorie diet or the caloric demon of the day is new, really is confused and has been bombarded by sensationalized information regarding nutrition.
It's a conversation that they have had a thousand times before, and they seem to be treating all these people as the same person, who happens to be frustratingly slow to learn.
I understand this, to an extent, as I work in technical support and I have to make a large effort to remember that each new person who has no idea where to begin with their smartphone has not heard the 1000 other conversations I've had on the subject.
Combine this with the fact that they all seem to be friends, see each other's comments and tend to pile on, and you get an environment that seems hostile to newbies.
Also, a lot of them are young and have always been fit, tend to lift heavy and forget that not everyone is like them and that people may have different needs.
The best advice for noobs, including myself, is to do your best to search previous topics before posting.
It's a shame, because we all do like the one on one attention and getting our specific questions answered.
Also, don't be one of those people who posts just to get validation. If you already "know" the answer and you are not going to change your mind, then don't "ask" about it.
Well said. I think the best that anyone can do is take the snark with a grain of salt, and pay attention to the posts made by those who are actually trying to help and/or offer support.
What if those are the same people?
(ETA: dagnabbit...but you get the idea.)0 -
*opens thread*
*sees*
You are ignoring this user
You are ignoring this user
You are ignoring this user
You are ignoring this user
You are ignoring this user
You are ignoring this user
You are ignoring this user
You are ignoring this user
You are ignoring this user
You are ignoring this user
You are ignoring this user
You are ignoring this user
*closes thread*
And the world went silent and wept0 -
Maya Angelou — 'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'
When people are unhappy with their own lives they're not generous with others.
It's funny that whatever side you are on, this could apply.
The people that see mean people think the mean people are unhappy. The people who see over sensitive people think that the over sensitive people are unhappy.0 -
Well said. I think the best that anyone can do is take the snark with a grain of salt, and pay attention to the posts made by those who are actually trying to help and/or offer support.
Why would you assume that just because a post is a little snarky, that the poster isn't trying to help or offer support? Perhaps their idea of helping and offering support is just different from yours.0 -
There are really some really sad people in this world. The reason they are saying those things to you is because there is something DEEPLY wrong with them, not you. It still is hurtful, but keep in mind that these are people who are so miserable with their own lives, they are sitting on this site and making nasty, vile comments to innocent women looking for encouragement. There is a very special place for them
*This post is in response to the girl who posted she was looking for dating advice and got a bunch of horrible responses. Don't know why it didn't post under that one.
To the OP, ignore the idiots of the world. It takes a strong and intelligent person to have class and tact, and clearly there are A LOT of people without.
This is one of the meanest posts I've read on MFP in quite a while.0 -
There are really some really sad people in this world. The reason they are saying those things to you is because there is something DEEPLY wrong with them, not you. It still is hurtful, but keep in mind that these are people who are so miserable with their own lives, they are sitting on this site and making nasty, vile comments to innocent women looking for encouragement. There is a very special place for them
*This post is in response to the girl who posted she was looking for dating advice and got a bunch of horrible responses. Don't know why it didn't post under that one.
To the OP, ignore the idiots of the world. It takes a strong and intelligent person to have class and tact, and clearly there are A LOT of people without.
Keep reading. Someone posted the link to her post. She got tons really positive responses and I didn't see half of what she said.
One guy did say to change things up, maybe a new hair color, but it wasn't meant as an insult. I understood the point he was making.
It's actually a perfect example of a lot of the things discussed here.0 -
There are really some really sad people in this world. The reason they are saying those things to you is because there is something DEEPLY wrong with them, not you. It still is hurtful, but keep in mind that these are people who are so miserable with their own lives, they are sitting on this site and making nasty, vile comments to innocent women looking for encouragement. There is a very special place for them
*This post is in response to the girl who posted she was looking for dating advice and got a bunch of horrible responses. Don't know why it didn't post under that one.
To the OP, ignore the idiots of the world. It takes a strong and intelligent person to have class and tact, and clearly there are A LOT of people without.
er the dating advice thread
You should read the thread she is talking about - not one mean or horrible response on it - a few jokes yes, but nothing mean. I just read it.
The person who said cut to change her hairstyle was saying that maybe she needed to shake things up - try something new. A completely valid response to a long spell of no dates, and advice I would give a friend if they asked me.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1118784-can-t-get-a-date
Link so you can see for yourself ^^^^^
Edit: ohhhh snap - but we shouldn't be posting as we are friends :noway:0 -
all kidding aside OP... if you see the same MFP member being insulting to others repeatedly, simply put them on ignore. problem solved. generally, if a person gets a reputation for being a jerk on here, the community tends to correct their behavior by calling them out on it.0 -
There does seem to be a clique of people who have been here for a while and have long since reached goal and have a lot of good knowlege to share with us new people.
I think the problem is that it's hard, psychologically, to remember that each new person who asks about their 1200 calorie diet or the caloric demon of the day is new, really is confused and has been bombarded by sensationalized information regarding nutrition.
It's a conversation that they have had a thousand times before, and they seem to be treating all these people as the same person, who happens to be frustratingly slow to learn to use the search button but quick to make a mean people thread
I understand this, to an extent, as I work in technical support and I have to make a large effort to remember that each new person who has no idea where to begin with their smartphone has not heard the 1000 other conversations I've had on the subject.
Combine this with the fact that they all seem to be friends, see each other's comments and tend to pile on, and you get an environment that seems hostile to newbies.
Also, a lot of them are young/old and have worked hard to get and remain fit, tend to lift heavy and try to stop people doing stupid fad diets and get them to see that weight loss can be simple.
The best advice for noobs, including myself, is to do your best to search previous topics before posting. And if you do post keep and open mind about the answers you get as there is normally excellent advice in the replies.
It's a shame, because we all do like the one on one attention and getting our
By fixing it I simply gave my opinon in reponse in a different manner.
Then what did you mean by all the little "checks" next to my attributes - they all looked like reasons I'm either a bully/mean/shouldn't post.
I didn't call anyone a bully.
But yeah, changing a person's words and calling it "fixed" rather than simply saying "I disagree with this point and here's why..." can be seen as kinda snarky. It can also be used to joke among friends.
But you don't know me.
You do seem like you want to escalate this though, when I have been conciliatory.
I have not said your opinion does not matter. In fact, you probably have more knowledge and experience than most.
I didn't even say fad diets are good. I agree that eating only 800 cals a day of raw food vegan paleo stuff is probably the wrong way to go, unless you are sick with literally everything.
I'll end it here. You can choose to argue with it if you like.0 -
Socajam - 988 posts since join date of February, 2013.
Perhaps getting a life might be beneficial.
P.S. Please start taking your meds again!0 -
It comes down to the same old rule of communication - if you want someone to hear you, you go out of your way to be polite and "listeanable" - if you don't care if they hear you, be as rude as you like. The corollary is that if you aren't making an effort to be polite, you are effectively running around with a giant neon sign over your head that says "I don't care if people listen".
And you know what - you (whoever you are) - have every right to do that.
Just as people have every right to not-listen to anybody saying "I don't care if people listen".0 -
If there is a repeated thread and the poster does not know if it has been posted earlier. He/she will receive lots of bashing, not again! kinda attitude. Many times original thread is lost and 2-3 people end up having strong argument about the attitude.
I totally agree it should be courteous environment on here and no body is obliged to reply to threads. if you dont like something dont reply, simple! Keep Calm and Move on:bigsmile:
I don't like dangerous fad diets that can cause damage to a person's body and decrease their chances of keeping the weight off. I will say something not only for the OPs benefit but also for the lurkers who might try that fad diet if they don't hear a dissenting opinion.
Not saying anything if you have nothing nice to say apies to, "Honey, do you like my new haircut?" It does not apply to "I'm losing a ton of weight eating 12 apples a day, nothing else, and speed walking for 2 hours. I'm not going to keep silent about that (unless someone else has already stated my position).
Bumper sticker sayings are cute and easy to remember but they are useless and solve nothing.0 -
Yep. "I don't like the tone I read into this text, therefore I conclude that the person who wrote it was unhappy." Alrighty then.Maya Angelou — 'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'
When people are unhappy with their own lives they're not generous with others.
It's funny that whatever side you are on, this could apply.
The people that see mean people think the mean people are unhappy. The people who see over sensitive people think that the over sensitive people are unhappy.0 -
It comes down to the same old rule of communication - if you want someone to hear you, you go out of your way to be polite and "listeanable" - if you don't care if they hear you, be as rude as you like. The corollary is that if you aren't making an effort to be polite, you are effectively running around with a giant neon sign over your head that says "I don't care if people listen".
And you know what - you (whoever you are) - have every right to do that.
Just as people have every right to not-listen to anybody saying "I don't care if people listen".
Is your definition of polite farting unicorns and rainbow and posting :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: after every sentence.
My idea of polite is just getting to the point and telling the truth.
How you read something on the internet is all down to you 99.9% of the time. You want to see snark and meanness - then you will. I just generally see successful people taking time out of their day to give good advice and being told their delivery wasn't nice enough.So now you gotta be generous, informative, knowledgeable AND PATIENT. Anything else you desire free users of this free website. Can I get you a throw blanket too?
as very well put by a friend.0 -
There are really some really sad people in this world. The reason they are saying those things to you is because there is something DEEPLY wrong with them, not you. It still is hurtful, but keep in mind that these are people who are so miserable with their own lives, they are sitting on this site and making nasty, vile comments to innocent women looking for encouragement. There is a very special place for them
*This post is in response to the girl who posted she was looking for dating advice and got a bunch of horrible responses. Don't know why it didn't post under that one.
To the OP, ignore the idiots of the world. It takes a strong and intelligent person to have class and tact, and clearly there are A LOT of people without.
Keep reading. Someone posted the link to her post. She got tons really positive responses and I didn't see half of what she said.
One guy did say to change things up, maybe a new hair color, but it wasn't meant as an insult. I understood the point he was making.
It's actually a perfect example of a lot of the things discussed here.
I did get some positive responses - but what I was referring to was the negative responses...like I said, telling me I was too old, get a cat, etc. I apologize if my post offended you somehow. This has seemingly become personal against me for some odd reason.0 -
I'm so glad that you posted this. I don't post at all because of the sarcastic, rude people on here. People come here for advice and motivation. I honestly don't think they would ask questions if they knew the answers. What they get is rude commentary from people who think everyone must think the same way they do. At first I enjoyed reading posts in the community. Now I rarely read because of this very thing.
Mama must not have taught them the same thing mama taught me.... if you can't say something nice... you know the rest...
I have seen many instances where the person did in fact know the answer and sometimes even stated it in the OP and then went ahead and posted anyway couching the answer in a lot of details so as to confuse themselves and sometimes others. Oftentimes this is actually that they know the answer but do not WANT that to be the answer and that is when you see a pile of people informing them, "I'm sorry there is no other way around it you must do the work, the simple but necessary work." Those people usually since they are already in a head space where they don't want it to be the answer will frequently reject vehemently the advice given and will frequently feel ganged up on and come out swinging with accusations of "rude" and the like. It's more a function of their state of denial or something akin to it than a statement about those attempting to help.0 -
bump :sad:0
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"Polite" is not universal. Some people prefer short posts that don't waste words to get to the point. Some people find it insulting to expect that they might get their feelings hurt if the wording isn't flowery. Those things may be perceived by some people as 'polite' and by other people as an attack on one's intelligence and/or emotional maturity.It comes down to the same old rule of communication - if you want someone to hear you, you go out of your way to be polite and "listeanable" - if you don't care if they hear you, be as rude as you like. The corollary is that if you aren't making an effort to be polite, you are effectively running around with a giant neon sign over your head that says "I don't care if people listen".
And you know what - you (whoever you are) - have every right to do that.
Just as people have every right to not-listen to anybody saying "I don't care if people listen".0 -
There are really some really sad people in this world. The reason they are saying those things to you is because there is something DEEPLY wrong with them, not you. It still is hurtful, but keep in mind that these are people who are so miserable with their own lives, they are sitting on this site and making nasty, vile comments to innocent women looking for encouragement. There is a very special place for them
*This post is in response to the girl who posted she was looking for dating advice and got a bunch of horrible responses. Don't know why it didn't post under that one.
To the OP, ignore the idiots of the world. It takes a strong and intelligent person to have class and tact, and clearly there are A LOT of people without.
Keep reading. Someone posted the link to her post. She got tons really positive responses and I didn't see half of what she said.
One guy did say to change things up, maybe a new hair color, but it wasn't meant as an insult. I understood the point he was making.
It's actually a perfect example of a lot of the things discussed here.
I did get some positive responses - but what I was referring to was the negative responses...like I said, telling me I was too old, get a cat, etc. I apologize if my post offended you somehow. This has seemingly become personal against me for some odd reason.
The get a cat comment was a joke - clearly. Its the standard reponse to the I'm a single older lady. I use it on myself as I'm single with two cats. :laugh:
Only one person was an *kitten* in that thread and you could have ignored them - everyone else's advice was excellent.0 -
I just started this week...and I have been saddened to see how rude people are to each other... Especially on something that is supposed to offer encouragement.0
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There are really some really sad people in this world. The reason they are saying those things to you is because there is something DEEPLY wrong with them, not you. It still is hurtful, but keep in mind that these are people who are so miserable with their own lives, they are sitting on this site and making nasty, vile comments to innocent women looking for encouragement. There is a very special place for them
*This post is in response to the girl who posted she was looking for dating advice and got a bunch of horrible responses. Don't know why it didn't post under that one.
To the OP, ignore the idiots of the world. It takes a strong and intelligent person to have class and tact, and clearly there are A LOT of people without.
Keep reading. Someone posted the link to her post. She got tons really positive responses and I didn't see half of what she said.
One guy did say to change things up, maybe a new hair color, but it wasn't meant as an insult. I understood the point he was making.
It's actually a perfect example of a lot of the things discussed here.
I did get some positive responses - but what I was referring to was the negative responses...like I said, telling me I was too old, get a cat, etc. I apologize if my post offended you somehow. This has seemingly become personal against me for some odd reason.
I did not see anyone call you old. Someone did point out that men in the age group you were aiming for tended to go for women younger than you are. Like it or not, it is true. It's nothing against you personally, they were explaining what often happens.
No one attacked you personally. You made a post that grossly exaggerated things that were said to you in your topic. Others have come to your defence accusing those people of being mean. I responded with what I had seen in the thread, which was not at all what you described. You brought it up, I responded.
ETA - the get a cat was a joke. It's probably the one post I saw that I agree with you was there and not helpful, but it was meant as a joke.0 -
In to read about the Butthurt........ :glasses:0
This discussion has been closed.
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