Santa!?!?! I hate the lie!
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My parents NEVER led me to believe in Santa Claus as a child, I always knew they were the ones who bought all my Christmas gifts. There was no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy business going on either. My parents gave me a choice. If I chose to believe in those thing then it was up to me, but I already knew the truth either way. No parent should feel that they HAVE to make their children believe in Santa Claus. Why do they have to believe in a lie in order to celebrate the "magic" of Christmas. That is not the purpose of Christmas anyway. Is Christmas less magical because I knew that it was my hard-working, loving parents who provided gifts for me, versus a fictitious dude in a red suit? I think knowing that my parents sacrificed to give me a Christmas is alot more special than believing in a fairy tale.0
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I was hoping this thread might give me more clarity on whether or not I tell my future kids about Santa. It has not.
I'm still torn. Personally I cannot stand what Christmas has become. I hate hearing about all the drama between people who celebrate and people who don't. I hate that so many people just have turned it into a meaningless retail free for all.
I think the whole Santa thing, for me, is that there are thousands of good boys and girl out there who believe in Santa, but their parents are too poor to buy them presents, and then the kids think they weren't good enough. That part of it just makes me feel so sad. I wish that there was a stronger focus on being with your family and friends, and just loving each other and enjoying their company, less focus on buy buy buy.
Well, good luck everyone! Do what you feel is right for you and your family and I'm sure your kids will grow up OK regardless.0 -
Lie, pretend, tradition, we're doing it. I love bringing a little magic into our home. My little is really into fairies. We made a fairy garden so that any fairies in the area would have a place to hang out. Sometimes they leave things in the garden for little. Sometimes they leave little notes asking for her to give them things they need. Seeing the joy and wonder on her face when we talk about Santa, or tend to her garden...well, it completely wipes away any doubts I might have about "lying" to her. I wasn't crushed when I found out about Santa and I don't hate my parents for it. Whether it's Santa, or fairies, or dragons, whatever, I LOVE seeing parents pretending with their kids and bringing some magic into their lives. I think my little will have fond memories of this stuff when she's older. If it screws her up, she can get a good therapist to talk to about it.
Said fairy garden:
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So my oldest is 3 and asked me about Santa and Christmas. I told him the basic crap that everyone spews and I hate myself for it! Wh does he need to believe in Santa just to have it crushed later in life? Why set them up for disappointment later in life. Am I a bad mom because I don't want to perpetuate this myth?
Thoughts please.
We never lied to our kids about it. In our house, Santa Claus was no different than Spiderman or Superman. He's a fun character and we can watch movies or read books about him, but he's just a fictional character. I don't believe in lying to kids.0 -
Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.
My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
33 2 boys 3&1
Just out of curiosity how old are you OP and how many children do you have?0 -
Lie, pretend, tradition, we're doing it. I love bringing a little magic into our home. My little is really into fairies. We made a fairy garden so that any fairies in the area would have a place to hang out. Sometimes they leave things in the garden for little. Sometimes they leave little notes asking for her to give them things they need. Seeing the joy and wonder on her face when we talk about Santa, or tend to her garden...well, it completely wipes away any doubts I might have about "lying" to her. I wasn't crushed when I found out about Santa and I don't hate my parents for it. Whether it's Santa, or fairies, or dragons, whatever, I LOVE seeing parents pretending with their kids and bringing some magic into their lives. I think my little will have fond memories of this stuff when she's older. If it screws her up, she can get a good therapist to talk to about it.
Said fairy garden:0 -
Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.
My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
You are in for a tough road ahead then.
It's not so much lying I guess, but protecting from the truth.0 -
Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.
My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
You don't have to.
When I lost a pregnancy we didn't give the whole truth. When grandma died a horrible death from cancer, I said she went peacefully. When my nephew died at 4mo we made up some bs answer as to why.
I do this from time to time with non sad stuff too. Like when I eat their ice cream, I blame their dad.
Sometimes I tell them lies. I'm okay with it.
ETA: 4 kids. 10, 8, 3, 2 and I'm 33.0 -
I was never taught to believe Santa was real and I enjoyed every single Christmas. More important that they learn about the real meaning of CHRISTmas at a young age.0
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I was never taught to believe Santa was real and I enjoyed every single Christmas. More important that they learn about the real meaning of Xmas at a young age.
LMFTFY0 -
Tell him the truth. My mom did, and I learned to appreciate Christmas for the family time and spirit of generosity. I'm going to do the same for mine.
So true! My kids understand and appreciate Christmas, whereas the ones that get told the Santa lie, end up believing that Christmas is all about presents.0 -
My daughter is 20 yrs old. She has known the truth since whe was 5 or 6, but we still make a Ham Sandwich and set it on the kitchen table with a glass of JD on the rocks on Christmas Eve. Then she goes to bed and I have the Ham Sandwich and Jack Daniels while I put the last of the gifts around the tree.
The time spent together is what makes it important.0 -
I let my son believe in Santa, but I've modified the story a bit so he doesn't come upon that disappointment. The big (good) presents under the tree come from Daddy because Daddy loves him. Santa doesn't love him like Daddy does, Santa just rewards you if you're good. So he brings little toys if he's nice all year (i.e. throw unwrapped Dollar General crap he really won't ever play with under the tree), but it still shows up magically on Christmas. He gets that awe about the magic, but doesn't ever get hyped about Santa during Christmas and shouldn't be disappointed when he finds he's not real.0
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I was never taught to believe Santa was real and I enjoyed every single Christmas. More important that they learn about the real meaning of CHRISTmas at a young age.0
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Santa's not real?
Seriously...santa helps teach children about unconditional giving, and that's a good life lesson.
What a crock!0 -
Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.
My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
Just out of curiosity how old are you OP and how many children do you have?
My first thought too0 -
Educative,, I love it. Was thinking the same thing myself. But believing in Santa Claus is sacrilege if you are Christian. Just food for thought (the no calorie kind).0
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Mickey Mouse isn't real either. But somehow us adults love the "lie" of Disneyland/DisneyWorld too.
Who tells their kids Mickey Mouse is real?0 -
I was never taught to believe Santa was real and I enjoyed every single Christmas. More important that they learn about the real meaning of Xmas at a young age.
LMFTFY0
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