A girl who activeley pursues a man with a gf...

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  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    and we're blaming the girl for this????
  • RedneckWmn
    RedneckWmn Posts: 3,202 Member
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    I agree with the others. You are placing all the blame on the girl and none on your BF. He just as much to blame. He chose to go stay with her and sleep with her. My suggestion..move on. He's not worth it.
  • linzchapates
    linzchapates Posts: 135
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    You dont' trust him and can't and will not get over this... cut the ties now while you still have some dignity. Once the trust is gone it's only a matter of time before it all crumbles down and "this girl" becomes "all those girls" ... get a real man!
  • jclist1
    jclist1 Posts: 87 Member
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    A relationship will only work if there is complete trust. This is will always be in your mind. Do you want to stay with someone who has hid so much from you for so long? What else is he hiding? He is more responsible than she is. He could have blocked he number a long time ago. You need to hold him responsible. You are (were?) in a relationship with him...not her...
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Having sex with her is kind of leading her on.
    No! It's ALL HER FAULT! He told her he loved his girlfriend, but then he slipped and accidentally had sex with the wrong person.

    You know how that is.
  • walkersallymae
    walkersallymae Posts: 14 Member
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    I think you should take time to evaluate what you want out of a relationship. If this is it then ok if not you will need to figure out how to move on. I wouldn't worry about other peoples opinions or judgments.
  • raiderrodney
    raiderrodney Posts: 617 Member
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    Only you can make that decision. If you do decide to forgive him and take him back, then drop it and don't throw it up into his face every time you all have a disagreement. Fights do happen but bringing up the past isn't going to help anything.

    That being said...it will be extremely hard on you. Every time he is late or out it will be in the back of your mind. Tough decision...
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    Plus, he was sleeping with her first. She may think that you are horrible because you are trying to steal HER boyfriend.
  • MityMax96
    MityMax96 Posts: 5,778 Member
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    My opinion: paragraphs are your friend

    *takes 2 tylenol*

    :laugh: :laugh:

    Totally agree....my eyes have now went crossed...
  • thickerella
    thickerella Posts: 154 Member
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    I am going to go against the crowd here and say that the issue isn't ALL him. If you are kicking him out and breaking things off, only to change your mind the next day, then you have some issues of your own to work on. It may be that neither of you are mature enough to be in a committed relationship at the moment, or maybe you just aren't right for each other. Either way, strong, healthy relationships are NOT this dramatic.
  • rachelclayton
    rachelclayton Posts: 4 Member
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    This is the bit that stands out to me

    "Ladies, we are classier than that!! "

    Pot, kettle, black if you take back a man who has gone behind your back twice & been texting another person through your whole relationship.

    Walk away now. He will not change
  • Skeels
    Skeels Posts: 929 Member
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    FWP
  • Sovictorrious
    Sovictorrious Posts: 770 Member
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    Hmm....
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
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    Wow, Long message!

    Lets see if I got this right, your bf of 5 months, who you told to get out and that you were leaving, slept with someone else during the time you were 'not together'.

    The answer is really simple:
    1. Stop telling him to leave
    2. Or mean what the heck you say and kick him to da curb.

    Just one old man's opinion.........
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    Be glad it is over. And make sure to keep it that way. Exes are exes for a reason.

    I also don't know all the details, but if that girl was single, she has every right to go after who she sees fit. Single guys have every right to go after women in relationships. In fact, many of the best quality women are never truly single, so guys have it harder. Many jump directly from one guy to another. When things are on the wane with one guy, they start dating around, pick the best option, and break up with the old bf once they have secured a new guy. Some aren't as deliberate as that, but often have a line waiting for them once they become available and might be on the market for less than a month. This is why when a guy hears "I have a boyfriend", it is utterly meaningless. In theory, we need to dig deeper and see if you are really happy with things. I'm not one usually to pursue someone who says this, because even if they have a boyfriend, she should make it known that she is making herself available to me.

    OP-I looked at your profile pic. You seem to be a pretty woman who should have no trouble finding a man if you have the right mindset and attitude. But you should not tolerate what that guy did to you, and have no contact with him or that girl. They are out of your life now and you are better for it.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    She was an "ex". She might feel entitled to him more than you. By the thread title I was under the impression it was a new girl in his life. Even though he has chosen you for now, she may have thought she still had a chance and was doing anything to get him back. All is fair in love and war. I've learned that the hard way.

    As for him, so far he has shown you he is 1) a liar 2) willing to betray you 3) the type to keep someone strung along on the side "just in case" and 4) not very good at keeping his own privacy much less your's should you become a married family and that becomes an issue. Consider all these points very carefully before letting him back into your life.

    I know it feels as though you were fighting for the same man, only you didn't know it, and she was winning. She had the benefit of prior knowledge. Now though that you are fully aware do not get stuck in the loop of thinking that this is still a fight about a man. If she wins him so be it, he may not be worth "winning". Right now you are in the time of having a light turned on and you are seeing everything that is really there. You must start from square one on assessing him and deciding if he is the type of man you'd like for a father to your children and a husband to yourself, because as long as you are sexually active with him, (even on birth control) there is always the chance that's what this will become. Good luck deciding, may the force be with you. :flowerforyou:
  • christinemadden0223
    christinemadden0223 Posts: 175 Member
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    Having sex with her is kind of leading her on.
    Hell of a good point!
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
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    i didnt read the OP because i have things to do, but based on the comments i will say that your boyfriend is winning.
    he gets all teh secks AND has ol' reliable (you).

    break.gif
  • christinemadden0223
    christinemadden0223 Posts: 175 Member
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    I am going to go against the crowd here and say that the issue isn't ALL him. If you are kicking him out and breaking things off, only to change your mind the next day, then you have some issues of your own to work on. It may be that neither of you are mature enough to be in a committed relationship at the moment, or maybe you just aren't right for each other. Either way, strong, healthy relationships are NOT this dramatic.
    Thank you I agree with you and have actually signed up to see a counselor to work out MY relationship issues
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I know you don't want to hear this…but….people do not change

    This.

    He's going to keep bouncing back and forth. If he didn't have the will power to resist her before, he is not just going to magically find it. The only way to stop this vicious cycle is for someone to get off the ride. He can't... he's tried. She's not going to back down. Sadly, it falls on you to decide that you have had enough and walk away. You certainly can find someone more worthy of you. Don't waste time staying caught in this mess.

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