A girl who activeley pursues a man with a gf...
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I've been watching Christmas movies recently. (Tis the season...) In several of these movies, the lead female character finds herself in love with a man who already has a girlfriend. Indeed, the male lead is often engaged to some other woman.
The moral of all of these stories is that the lead female character should forge ahead. After all, this is TRUE LOVE and it won't be stopped by trivial things like the existence of a girlfriend or a fiance.
Good grief, these are movies shown on the Hallmark Channel. Are you saying that Christmas movies are telling the wrong message? <Gasp>0 -
My husband of 19 years was actively pursued by a woman 15 years his junior. She was relentless. I begged her to stay away, so we could figure out if we could get our marriage back on track. We have two kids. She wouldn't back off. This is the second marriage she interfered in.
Yes, my husband made the choice to cheat. But she preyed on someone who was going through a tough time. She didn't have the decency to stay away. Any girl who will go after someone in a relationship is disgusting.
Your profile says you are 30..........You say "my husband of 19 years"........You married him when you were 11? I think your honesty is in question. :noway:
If you look at the rest of my profile, it says I'm really 38.
I was 18 when we got married. 0 -
And I thought I was tripping balls.My husband of 19 years was actively pursued by a woman 15 years his junior. She was relentless. I begged her to stay away, so we could figure out if we could get our marriage back on track. We have two kids. She wouldn't back off. This is the second marriage she interfered in.
Yes, my husband made the choice to cheat. But she preyed on someone who was going through a tough time. She didn't have the decency to stay away. Any girl who will go after someone in a relationship is disgusting.
youngest bride of all American time! Congrats!
tripping over your balls??0 -
If you read down, she admits she's 38. If she just got divorced, she was 19? when she got married. If my math is correct, which it might not be.My husband of 19 years was actively pursued by a woman 15 years his junior. She was relentless. I begged her to stay away, so we could figure out if we could get our marriage back on track. We have two kids. She wouldn't back off. This is the second marriage she interfered in.
Yes, my husband made the choice to cheat. But she preyed on someone who was going through a tough time. She didn't have the decency to stay away. Any girl who will go after someone in a relationship is disgusting.
Your profile says you are 30..........You say "my husband of 19 years"........You married him when you were 11? I think your honesty is in question. :noway:0 -
If they were sleeping together before you met, maybe you were the boyfriend stealer...0
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Once a cheater = always a cheater ! You deserve better!0
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I know you meant well, but does that mean that if she was not attractive it would have not been his loss?Looking at your pics…I fail to understand how he did not see he had it all…his loss
She is not just "attractive" trust me0 -
If you read down, she admits she's 38. If she just got divorced, she was 19? when she got married. If my math is correct, which it might not be.My husband of 19 years was actively pursued by a woman 15 years his junior. She was relentless. I begged her to stay away, so we could figure out if we could get our marriage back on track. We have two kids. She wouldn't back off. This is the second marriage she interfered in.
Yes, my husband made the choice to cheat. But she preyed on someone who was going through a tough time. She didn't have the decency to stay away. Any girl who will go after someone in a relationship is disgusting.
Your profile says you are 30..........You say "my husband of 19 years"........You married him when you were 11? I think your honesty is in question. :noway:
well, she admitted that she lied, anyway.0 -
You need to break up. But not b/c of what he did.
You need to be alone and work on yourself because clearly you're letting another man walk all over you the way you let one in the past (you mentioned you'd been cheated on before).
Go learn to love yourself before getting into another relationship.0 -
Good point. :-)
If you read down, she admits she's 38. If she just got divorced, she was 19? when she got married. If my math is correct, which it might not be.My husband of 19 years was actively pursued by a woman 15 years his junior. She was relentless. I begged her to stay away, so we could figure out if we could get our marriage back on track. We have two kids. She wouldn't back off. This is the second marriage she interfered in.
Yes, my husband made the choice to cheat. But she preyed on someone who was going through a tough time. She didn't have the decency to stay away. Any girl who will go after someone in a relationship is disgusting.
Your profile says you are 30..........You say "my husband of 19 years"........You married him when you were 11? I think your honesty is in question. :noway:
well, she admitted that she lied, anyway.0 -
That was one big piece of self delusion. You are trying to place all the blame on the other chick. There is no doubt that a girl who actively goes after a dude with a girlfriend is a skeez... But he lied to you repeatedly, was sneaky, and you are STILL trying to "work it out" with him. Move on.0
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If you told him it was over he's off the hook.
If he ignored her while you were together he isn't invested emotionally in her.
She's dumb for being so hung up on him, but honestly, you don't have to let her get to you. He's with you, not her, until you tell him otherwise.0 -
You're mad at her because he can't keep it in his pants?
...just stay f...err, just break up.0 -
Heh, not exactly what I meant
And I thought I was tripping balls.My husband of 19 years was actively pursued by a woman 15 years his junior. She was relentless. I begged her to stay away, so we could figure out if we could get our marriage back on track. We have two kids. She wouldn't back off. This is the second marriage she interfered in.
Yes, my husband made the choice to cheat. But she preyed on someone who was going through a tough time. She didn't have the decency to stay away. Any girl who will go after someone in a relationship is disgusting.
youngest bride of all American time! Congrats!
tripping over your balls??
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First, boyfriend and girlfriend are not the same as married. I used to know someone who would say, "if they aren't married, then they're still available." Basically, best man or woman wins.
Second, the easiest person to get is someone who is already with someone. All you have to do is pay a little attention, listen for him/her to say a bad thing or two about their significant other then kick back and let it happen. Here are some simple rules a friend of mine once listed when we were teenagers.
Rule 1: Never, EVER, say anything bad about the significant other. The second you do that, the person you are after feels obligated to defend their significant other. However, if you say something nice or point out their good qualities, 9 times out of 10, the person you are interested in will put down the sig. other on their own.
Rule 2: Almost always be available. Either by phone, text, chat...whatever. Be there to listen to them gripe when the significant other messes up, and spend more of your time listening rather than offering advice. Occasionally, drop in a positive word or two about the significant other, once again, the person you are interested in will tear the S.O. down on their own. The more you are available and labeled the "good listener" or "just someone to talk to" the more the person you are interested in will rely on you.
Rule 3: Don't smother them. You want to be available more times than not, however, you don't want to end up in the friend zone. You have to let the person you are interested in miss you being around. This will make them think about you more often, especially when things are going bad with their significant other. They will also cause a fight or two over something stupid just to have a reason to contact you.
Rule 4: Don't rush things, let them happen. This way you don't look like you're the one who is tearing them apart. The decision to go beyond "just someone to talk to" has to always be the other person. They have to make the first move, so it will always be their idea.
Of course, married and especially a couple with kids are "off limits," but if they are just boyfriend and girlfriend or just dating, then either their relationship is strong or it isn't.
Remember: Sometimes the beans are worth more than the cow, but if you can get the milk for free, don't log it as water.
Deep!0 -
He needs to go. If he doesn't know you well enough to know that you blow up and need a little calm down time to think when you argue and considers that reason for him to take other offers he an idiot. Leopards don't change their spots. If he treats you this way now it's not going to get better later. You need to love yourself more and realize you deserve better.0
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Heh, not exactly what I meant
And I thought I was tripping balls.My husband of 19 years was actively pursued by a woman 15 years his junior. She was relentless. I begged her to stay away, so we could figure out if we could get our marriage back on track. We have two kids. She wouldn't back off. This is the second marriage she interfered in.
Yes, my husband made the choice to cheat. But she preyed on someone who was going through a tough time. She didn't have the decency to stay away. Any girl who will go after someone in a relationship is disgusting.
youngest bride of all American time! Congrats!
tripping over your balls??
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I know you don't want to hear this…but….people do not change
Truth. If someone cheats on their previous SO they'll cheat on you too. Character. Some people have it, some don't.
I wholeheartedly disagree with this. If a person was a "cheater" in the past that doesn't mean they will continue to cheat in the future. A person will do what they want to do. If they want to cheat, they will. If that honestly want to stop that behavior and become a different person then they will. But if that person has cheated on their current SO then they most likely will continue to cheat on them. Whether they will cheat on their new SO... that's up to them whether they want to change that behavior or not.0 -
Hmm. Has anyone else noticed she coincidentally has a foot print on her shirt? Pretty apropos...0
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Actually very helpful and what I think I'm going to do, thank youYou need to break up. But not b/c of what he did.
You need to be alone and work on yourself because clearly you're letting another man walk all over you the way you let one in the past (you mentioned you'd been cheated on before).
Go learn to love yourself before getting into another relationship.0 -
My Ex cheated on me the first time and I forgave her and we moved on. It wasn’t easy but if you forgive him you do have to let it go and move on.0
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lol good oneHmm. Has anyone else noticed she coincidentally has a foot print on her shirt? Pretty apropos...0 -
Thank you for giving another side. That seems to be my only two choices that could possibly work out- Forgive and move on and actually 100% drop it and decide to trust, or leave completely and never talk againMy Ex cheated on me the first time and I forgave her and we moved on. It wasn’t easy but if you forgive him you do have to let it go and move on.0 -
You fought, then kicked him out/broke up with him.
He only slept with this girl during that time.
He didn't cheat.
With that being said, it seems like you two are incompatible anyway. Five months into dating? That's still the "honeymoon" time. Why hang onto something that isn't working?0 -
I feel really bad saying this, because it sounds like you really want to believe in him. But, this relationship is not healthy for you. Lying, excessive drinking and picking fights? This MIGHT be acceptable for a couple in HS or college maybe, but not for two mature adults.
Fine, he was being an *kitten* and your kicked him out. If he was truly committed to you, he would not call upon a women whom he knows is only too willing to bang him. The fact that he went to such lengths to keep it a secret from you.... shady, shady, shady!
You really need to think about what you want for yourself long term. Is it a relationship with a man who abuses alcohol (and if he is drinking to the point he is picking fights with you, he IS abusing it)? Will you ever be able to trust that he is not skirting around on you as soon as you are having problems?
To adress the tile of your post, "A girl who actively pursues a man with a gf", this isn;t about her. You are not in a relationship with her. It doesn't sound like she is even a personal friend of yours. What she does or doesn't do, is not for you to worry about. He is the one that has made a commitment to you. He is the one who should be honoring it. If he was taking it seriously, she would not be a factor. At all.
Good luck to you!0 -
Thank you for giving another side. That seems to be my only two choices that could possibly work out- Forgive and move on and actually 100% drop it and decide to trust, or leave completely and never talk againMy Ex cheated on me the first time and I forgave her and we moved on. It wasn’t easy but if you forgive him you do have to let it go and move on.
Exactly, you both have to trust each other to have a good life together.0 -
Thank you, I really appreciate your post because I AGREE. I WAS completely wrong to do that and quick to leave and so he went somewhere else. I have no room to talk. And he DID ignore her and tell her to go away when we were together. But am I just giving myself excuses and permission to be an idiot again??If you told him it was over he's off the hook.
If he ignored her while you were together he isn't invested emotionally in her.
She's dumb for being so hung up on him, but honestly, you don't have to let her get to you. He's with you, not her, until you tell him otherwise.0 -
1. Break up
2. Don't waste any more time thinking about it0 -
With that being said, it seems like you two are incompatible anyway. Five months into dating? That's still the "honeymoon" time. Why hang onto something that isn't working?
This is also something to think about.
Just curious...but you've been together for 5 months. Do you live together? If so, when did that start?0 -
You fought, then kicked him out/broke up with him.
He only slept with this girl during that time.
He didn't cheat.
With that being said, it seems like you two are incompatible anyway. Five months into dating? That's still the "honeymoon" time. Why hang onto something that isn't working?
This!
You kicked him out twice in five months. His cheating is not the only problem. Everyone one wants to dump on him, only hearing your side of the story, but something was wrong with your relationship to begin with.
I wish you luck with whatever you decide to do.0
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