Lock Up Yo Husbands!

1246

Replies

  • vikingmike53
    vikingmike53 Posts: 2 Member
    Nothing more interesting than a crazy neighbor with a drinking problem & trust problems. Maybe thats how she found the love of her smoking life, attracted to shiny objects too!
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
    Apparently I am attracted to shiny objects in the shape of wedding rings because I am single and horny

    How yew do'in?:glasses:

    On an unrelated noted, I'm selling fake wedding rings... ;)

    I will need one to snag the OP.

    Just make sure it out shine's my neighbors and you're in!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Simple. Look her dead in the eye the next time she says anything or even bring it up yourself and say, "I don't want a husband. I want a sugar daddy. So unless your man is secretly rolling in gold coins and has gold bricks holding up his shelves, no worries." And walk away.

    In this vein look her dead in the eye and say "No I'm aiming a little higher, I plan to be a trophy wife and I can already see how he keeps you," Then look her up and down REALLY slow. And then just stare. Make her look away first. Like a dog.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Apparently I am attracted to shiny objects in the shape of wedding rings because I am single and horny

    How yew do'in?:glasses:

    On an unrelated noted, I'm selling fake wedding rings... ;)

    I will need one to snag the OP.

    Just make sure it out shine's my neighbors and you're in!

    LOL OP all these fake rings are blinding ME!
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Apparently I am attracted to shiny objects in the shape of wedding rings because I am single and horny

    How yew do'in?:glasses:

    On an unrelated noted, I'm selling fake wedding rings... ;)

    I will need one to snag the OP.

    Just make sure it out shine's my neighbors and you're in!

    So you're only worried about size?

    Tch. So shallow.
  • Guinivere
    Guinivere Posts: 357 Member
    I had the same problem when I got divorced, all the married couples we were frinds with just uninvited me from stuff we used to do, like playing pool and going to a pub and wives got really possessive, I wasn't allowed to sit near the men or talk to them without some sort of female chaperone.

    It was completely ridiculous.

    In the end it was easier to let them go out of my life and just start again, so I changed job and moved to the next village.

    And a long term friend was not allowed to even speak to me at work because his insecure very overweight miserable boring gf (I was overweight too but I am less insecure and I enjoy a varied and exciting life) looked like me and she thought he was going to trade up or something!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I'm almost hoping that WeepingAngel is crazy enough to taunt the crazy neighbor...and then post all about it.

    I think even if she does nothing we are still in for some interesting threads. Make sure to title them in an easy to find way?

    Low cut top while getting the mail drama!!

    In the middle of a Nebraska winter? :laugh: Yep, that would spin up the neighbour in seconds flat.

    And she'll get requests for pricing on cutting glass!

    I gotta admit I don't know what this means...but I think it's about me :wink:
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I'm almost hoping that WeepingAngel is crazy enough to taunt the crazy neighbor...and then post all about it.

    I think even if she does nothing we are still in for some interesting threads. Make sure to title them in an easy to find way?

    Low cut top while getting the mail drama!!

    In the middle of a Nebraska winter? :laugh: Yep, that would spin up the neighbour in seconds flat.

    And she'll get requests for pricing on cutting glass!

    I gotta admit I don't know what this means...but I think it's about me :wink:

    *groan* :laugh:
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    ok now those people are nutty lol
  • TattooedNici
    TattooedNici Posts: 2,141 Member
    I'm thinking paranoia with delusional thoughts runs amuck in her house. :laugh:
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
    Apparently I am attracted to shiny objects in the shape of wedding rings because I am single and horny

    How yew do'in?:glasses:

    On an unrelated noted, I'm selling fake wedding rings... ;)

    I will need one to snag the OP.

    Just make sure it out shine's my neighbors and you're in!

    So you're only worried about size?

    Tch. So shallow.

    Shine my dear. Size doesn't matter if you know how to work it.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Apparently I am attracted to shiny objects in the shape of wedding rings because I am single and horny

    How yew do'in?:glasses:

    On an unrelated noted, I'm selling fake wedding rings... ;)

    I will need one to snag the OP.

    Just make sure it out shine's my neighbors and you're in!

    So you're only worried about size?

    Tch. So shallow.

    Shine my dear. Size doesn't matter if you know how to work it.

    Yes this is truly about polish. if i'm honest though i'd prefer big and polished if given the option.
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
    Apparently I am attracted to shiny objects in the shape of wedding rings because I am single and horny

    How yew do'in?:glasses:

    On an unrelated noted, I'm selling fake wedding rings... ;)

    I will need one to snag the OP.

    Just make sure it out shine's my neighbors and you're in!

    So you're only worried about size?

    Tch. So shallow.

    Shine my dear. Size doesn't matter if you know how to work it.

    Yes this is truly about polish. if i'm honest though i'd prefer big and polished if given the option.

    Options should always be available! All shapes and sizes.
  • Jewlz280
    Jewlz280 Posts: 547 Member
    Simple. Look her dead in the eye the next time she says anything or even bring it up yourself and say, "I don't want a husband. I want a sugar daddy. So unless your man is secretly rolling in gold coins and has gold bricks holding up his shelves, no worries." And walk away.

    In this vein look her dead in the eye and say "No I'm aiming a little higher, I plan to be a trophy wife and I can already see how he keeps you," Then look her up and down REALLY slow. And then just stare. Make her look away first. Like a dog.

    HA! That's even BETTER!

    Ooh! Or
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Simple. Look her dead in the eye the next time she says anything or even bring it up yourself and say, "I don't want a husband. I want a sugar daddy. So unless your man is secretly rolling in gold coins and has gold bricks holding up his shelves, no worries." And walk away.

    In this vein look her dead in the eye and say "No I'm aiming a little higher, I plan to be a trophy wife and I can already see how he keeps you," Then look her up and down REALLY slow. And then just stare. Make her look away first. Like a dog.

    HA! That's even BETTER!

    Ooh! Or

    That would be mean. You are mean.
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
    Simple. Look her dead in the eye the next time she says anything or even bring it up yourself and say, "I don't want a husband. I want a sugar daddy. So unless your man is secretly rolling in gold coins and has gold bricks holding up his shelves, no worries." And walk away.

    In this vein look her dead in the eye and say "No I'm aiming a little higher, I plan to be a trophy wife and I can already see how he keeps you," Then look her up and down REALLY slow. And then just stare. Make her look away first. Like a dog.

    HA! That's even BETTER!

    Ooh! Or

    That would be mean. You are mean.

    Clearly I'm on the naughty list so I have nothing to lose! Mean VS. Crazy!
  • Jewlz280
    Jewlz280 Posts: 547 Member
    Simple. Look her dead in the eye the next time she says anything or even bring it up yourself and say, "I don't want a husband. I want a sugar daddy. So unless your man is secretly rolling in gold coins and has gold bricks holding up his shelves, no worries." And walk away.

    In this vein look her dead in the eye and say "No I'm aiming a little higher, I plan to be a trophy wife and I can already see how he keeps you," Then look her up and down REALLY slow. And then just stare. Make her look away first. Like a dog.

    HA! That's even BETTER!

    Ooh! Or

    That would be mean. You are mean.

    I prefer the term 'naughty'. Or evil. I'm only SLIGHTLY evil. But OP is definitely naughty tempting that neighbor and all. :smokin:
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    if i'm honest though i'd prefer big and polished if given the option.

    Someone provides the big, you do the polishing.
  • Vincentsz
    Vincentsz Posts: 407 Member
    You're hot and she's jealous!

    END THREAD!
  • thoshowski
    thoshowski Posts: 135 Member
    Lollll, man, I'd have more lights on that side of the house.

    I think your on to something!

    Be careful though. She may think you are adding the lights so you can see her husband better while you spy on him!
  • doctorsookie
    doctorsookie Posts: 1,084 Member
    nutball alert!!! Add more lights and motion detectors. You wouldn't want her husband sneaking up to your bedroom window. LOL! Just WOW!
  • Danny_Boy13
    Danny_Boy13 Posts: 2,094 Member
    LMAO!!! That story just made my day... TY. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • fatfrost
    fatfrost Posts: 367 Member
    I was wondering why wifey locked me up in the dungeon. This explains everything!
  • TheSwollMinister
    TheSwollMinister Posts: 246 Member
    I was instructed by my wife to avoid redheads at all costs. Y'all are dangerous.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    Simple. Look her dead in the eye the next time she says anything or even bring it up yourself and say, "I don't want a husband. I want a sugar daddy. So unless your man is secretly rolling in gold coins and has gold bricks holding up his shelves, no worries." And walk away.

    In this vein look her dead in the eye and say "No I'm aiming a little higher, I plan to be a trophy wife and I can already see how he keeps you," Then look her up and down REALLY slow. And then just stare. Make her look away first. Like a dog.

    HA! That's even BETTER!

    Ooh! Or

    That would be mean. You are mean.

    I prefer the term 'naughty'. Or evil. I'm only SLIGHTLY evil. But OP is definitely naughty tempting that neighbor and all. :smokin:

    OR.......

    Next time you meet for one of your short chats with her:
    Gently touch the back of her with your palm and softly move your index finger across the palm of her hand; let the tip of your tongue slightly lick your upper lip and ask her if she has ever been with a ginger.

    Problem solved or it could get very entertaining.

    Just one old man’s opinion……
  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
    Well I see that yo ulive in Nebraska. I'm pretty sure there isn't much going on in Nebraska so husband humping might be a good time filler. You could also look into cow tipping, tornado dodging and corn husking. All of these are alternatives to husband humping.
  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
    I was instructed by my wife to avoid redheads at all costs. Y'all are dangerous.

    I concur.
  • Saucy_lil_Minx
    Saucy_lil_Minx Posts: 3,302 Member
    Lollll, man, I'd have more lights on that side of the house.

    I think your on to something!

    Just nothing but red lights on that side of the house.


    LMAO....ROXANNE !!!! You don't have to put on the red light!!! DYING OF LAUGHTER @ MY DESK.

    Yes, I have a super crazy neighbor lady who like to do yard work late at night with a spot light.

    In September my hubby, and I had an "incident" with her.

    We have a common ground with a small stream between our houses. She apparently did not like that a tree on my side of the common ground hung over her side. She came on to our property without our knowledge, cut down my honeysuckle bush in order to make enough room to get behind my fence to get a ladder against the tree. She then proceeded to cut down the offending branches a long with her boyfriend, and his friend.
    I was cooking dinner, and going over my sons homework with him when I hear screaming (mind you it was dark outside). I thought great she is out there fighting with her boyfriend on the front lawn again! Then she screamed again. At that point I knew something was wrong. I peaked my head out of the door, and asked if she was OK. She responded with F@#K NO! I'm hurt call an ambulance!. I yelled for my husband to go over to our neighbors she needs help! I turned off the stove, picked up my phone dialed 911 on my way out of the house.
    Instead of finding them in her yard, I found them on the side of my house with my husband, and her boyfriend on our property! Her boyfriend, and friend had pulled a branch back for her to cut it with a hand saw. They lost their grip, and it snapped back on to her leg splitting it open from ankle to knee! The ambulance came, and took her to the hospital.The next day I saw her boyfriend who said she had to get a ton of stitches, but she is OK, and home resting.
    One week later she sends her boyfriend over to ask my husband for our Homeowners Ins. He told him I will send my wife over when she comes home to talk with her, because he does not know what to do. I went over later after two more times of her boyfriend coming over before I could get off of work, and told her that I was not going to give her my Homeowners ins. info. I told her :
    A) the tree is on common ground to get a hold of the Homeowners Assco., and get their info.
    B) you were trespassing on my property, and you destroyed my property to get to the tree. I told her I should be making a report with the Police on you, but I did not b/c we're neighbors, and I wanted to keep the peace.
    C) AND THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT....YOU WERE UP A TREE AT NIGHT TRYING TO CUT DOWN BRANCHES!!

    She started screaming that she is going to get my info through her lawyer b/c we sued her 3 years earlier when a tree from her yard fell on our house, and that I was a stupid, fat B@#%H. I turned around a walked away, and told her to have her lawyer send me a letter. Have not heard from her since, but she has been outside at night working in her garden!
  • Saucy_lil_Minx
    Saucy_lil_Minx Posts: 3,302 Member
    C'mon admit it, a guy who sits and smokes all day....right next door...you KNOW you want him!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Well his bed room window IS directly adjacent to mine. Maybe I should just do a strip tease and see if he'll come to the dark side!
    :laugh: oh don't the poor guy has a loony wife he doesn't. Need blue balls too:sad:

    You're forgetting that whole shiny object thing. All she needs to do is take it off his finger than BAM he becomes invisible to me!

    Totally:happy: in for more
  • Whyareyoumad
    Whyareyoumad Posts: 268 Member
    You guys have it twisted, red heads are the best. Fighting mad they are sexy.
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