Is chivalry really dead? :(

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Replies

  • JayStu
    JayStu Posts: 332 Member
    Some women do not appreciate chivalry. I got the whole I'm an independent woman and guys only do that to get sex speech.
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
    One can only hope.

    I guess people think they deserve a pat on the back for behaving politely to women, it can't just be expected. sure, the "good old days" are gone.... I agree... one can only hope that they are gone...

    My point precisely. The idea of chivalry was romanticized in the 1800s when people were revolting against the industrial revolution. Chivalry, like I said earlier, was a code of conduct created by priests to prevent knights from killing each other in times of peace. There was nothing chivalrous about knights.

    Enter the Ivanhoe in the 1800s and people have been stupefied ever since. Woman can actually vote now. That's called progress. It ain't perfect but anyone who thinks females fared better in the past are moronic at best.

    Did anyone say that "women fared better in the past?" I don't recall any single person making that particular argument. It would be moronic if any one had in fact made that statement. I had a high school history teacher who said the worst mistake men ever made was giving women the right to vote. I also had a guidance counselor who told me it was okay that I wasn't good at math and to just take typing classes instead. So I don't feel I need a lecture on women's rights and their advancement in the last few decades. Thinking "chivalrous" behavior is of some value is not the same as saying women should be weak, sweet, little, demure creatures who depend on a man for their very survival.

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  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    Very interesting concept.

    I am 24 years old. I have had maybe 5 relationships. NONE of those guys, including my current boyfriend, have been chivalrous. To me, the idea of a man opening a door or carrying the bags in, etc - only exists in movies.

    There are plenty of girls who have the feminist mindset, where a man doing those sort of things becomes offensive.
    Though, I think that the majority of females would LOVE to be treated like they were in a movie. Including myself.
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
    No......it's not really needed as many girls will "give it up", with not much effort....

    Good call. Being nice just gets you friendzoned.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I truly hope not... This is what separates the boys from the men.


    ^^^^THIS!!! SO THIS!!!^^^^

    That is also an androgynistic comment.

    misandryst. Men don't have Gyns.

    Oh damn it...
    I always get those words mixed up. :angry:
    5 times now. Thought I was done for the year.
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
    I truly hope not... This is what separates the boys from the men.


    ^^^^THIS!!! SO THIS!!!^^^^

    That is also an androgynistic comment.

    misandryst. Men don't have Gyns.

    Oh damn it...
    I always get those words mixed up. :angry:
    5 times now. Thought I was done for the year.

    Omg! I missed #4?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I truly hope not... This is what separates the boys from the men.


    ^^^^THIS!!! SO THIS!!!^^^^

    That is also an androgynistic comment.

    misandryst. Men don't have Gyns.

    Oh damn it...
    I always get those words mixed up. :angry:
    5 times now. Thought I was done for the year.

    Omg! I missed #4?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!

    Yes, hahahahaha
  • Gidzmo
    Gidzmo Posts: 906 Member
    Oh good heavens, no. But it might be close. You wouldn't believe how shocked some women are when I insist on paying for their meal (even if it's not a date), open the door for them, allow them to go first, do the heavy lifting, etc. I think it's dying in Europe a lot quicker than it is here in the USA, though.

    That's because SOME (not all) believe that a woman can do what a man can, or they find some aspects of chivalry "sexist" (or have been taught so).

    It's not entirely dead. Some guys have held the door open for me or asked to help me carry things.
  • johan1585
    johan1585 Posts: 44 Member
    I guess I fail to see the conflict between chivalry and equality.

    Chivalry is a way of treating people...

    Equality is allowing people an equal opportunity for achievement.

    Men who hold back chivalry in the name of equality do so out of holding a grudge, or because they don't like showing respect to women in the first place.

    But that's just my opinion.


    Have got to agree with that nothing wrong with chivalry or equality going together.
    It just means that she buys the groceries and i get to bring them up in the appartment.
    Or in my case i cook dinner cause she allways gets of work later then i do.
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
    Clearly, it is not dead:
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  • Vegan_85
    Vegan_85 Posts: 40 Member
    Not entirely, although I agree that it's unnecessary nowadays. However, it still cheers me up when old men allow me to go first when the train arrives. It's so old fashioned and sweet.

    My boyfriend and most of my male friends still open doors for me, although I've told them that it's not required.
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
    I guess I fail to see the conflict between chivalry and equality.

    Chivalry is a way of treating people...

    Equality is allowing people an equal opportunity for achievement.

    Men who hold back chivalry in the name of equality do so out of holding a grudge, or because they don't like showing respect to women in the first place.

    But that's just my opinion.
    I like you.
    Me too.
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
    Chivalry was a code of behavior for medieval knights that included how they should treat (upper-class only, not all) women, and its existence was probably largely mythical anyway. Why can't people be courteous to each other regardless of gender (and social class)?

    Those of you who are putting the words sexist and sexism in irony quotes are ridiculous. It's as if you're insisting that sexism doesn't exist *while simultaneously expressing sexist ideas yourselves*.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    If someone opens a door for me, I go in, thank them, prop it open for them from the inside :)
  • Rosplosion
    Rosplosion Posts: 739 Member
    No. I love being treated like a lady...
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
    Chivalry was a code of behavior for medieval knights that included how they should treat (upper-class only, not all) women, and its existence was probably largely mythical anyway. Why can't people be courteous to each other regardless of gender (and social class)?

    Those of you who are putting the words sexist and sexism in irony quotes are ridiculous. It's as if you're insisting that sexism doesn't exist *while simultaneously expressing sexist ideas yourselves*.

    Bingo. Opening the door for someone is something you should do for anyone, not just a girl. It's basically a common courtesy here in the south. Also, I will occasionally buy dinner for a friend just because I am cool like that, and it has nothing to do with their gender. Being a decent human being is something everyone should strive for. Be kind. It really isn't that hard.

    This white knight stuff, however, is bull ****.
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
    No......it's not really needed as many girls will "give it up", with not much effort....

    Good call. Being nice just gets you friendzoned.
    Sad, but regrettably true according to my resident data point.
  • rosettafaery
    rosettafaery Posts: 102 Member
    I've come to not expect people to be chivalrous. I find I just end up disappointed.
    I do however still treat people as I wish to be treated, such as opening doors for people regardless of who they are, even if there are no thank yous in return.
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    I guess I fail to see the conflict between chivalry and equality.

    Chivalry is a way of treating people...

    Equality is allowing people an equal opportunity for achievement.

    Men who hold back chivalry in the name of equality do so out of holding a grudge, or because they don't like showing respect to women in the first place.

    But that's just my opinion.
    I like you.

    :flowerforyou: He's awesome eh?
  • vanguardfitness
    vanguardfitness Posts: 720 Member
    I only do it when I have a vested interest in being with someone. But I'm a flakey guy and bounce around at leisure. It seems like most women don't care much for it anyway. And I prefer it that way. I like not having to pay for drinks and food :P
  • Joehenny
    Joehenny Posts: 1,222 Member
    Yes. Women killed it.
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    The responses on this thread make me sad. My other half opens the door for me, will pull my chair out for me, is very respectful to me, and he treats my female friends the same. However that doesn’t mean he puts me on a pedestal or treats me unequally; in fact I pay for more as I earn twice what he does.

    I think too many people (both men and women) pin chivalry and equality together, which in this day and age isn’t necessary. It saddens me that something as harmless as chivalry can be met with such hostility from both sexes.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    No......it's not really needed as many girls will "give it up", with not much effort....

    Bingo. "Girls" like that type of treatment. " women" like to be respected and treated like ladies.
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    No......it's not really needed as many girls will "give it up", with not much effort....

    Bingo. "Girls" like that type of treatment. " women" like to be respected and treated like ladies.

    It's also a shame a guy would see chivalry as just something to get a woman into bed.
  • Beastmaster50
    Beastmaster50 Posts: 505 Member
    Yes. Women killed it.
    I kind of agree with this. I remember an older similar thread on here and some women were complaining that feminism must never of happened. Holding a door must be a sign of the male repressing females......
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
    I guess I fail to see the conflict between chivalry and equality.

    Chivalry is a way of treating people...

    Equality is allowing people an equal opportunity for achievement.

    Men who hold back chivalry in the name of equality do so out of holding a grudge, or because they don't like showing respect to women in the first place.

    But that's just my opinion.

    This
  • Whereismycoffee
    Whereismycoffee Posts: 130 Member
    I guess I fail to see the conflict between chivalry and equality.

    Chivalry is a way of treating people...

    Equality is allowing people an equal opportunity for achievement.

    Men who hold back chivalry in the name of equality do so out of holding a grudge, or because they don't like showing respect to women in the first place.

    But that's just my opinion.

    Nicely put.

    I open the car door for my wife, pull out her chair in restaurants, drive the car to the store door to drop her off in the rain then get wet myself after parking, etc. I consider this chivalry.

    I do not assume that all the housework, cooking and child rearing needs to be done by my wife. I treat her job and career aspirations as being of equal importance as mine. I respect her political and religious views as being separate from mine, and equally valid. I consider this equality.

    Well said and thank you!

    For myself... Yes, I can open my own door, but I like it when my husband does it. It makes me feel loved and cherished by him. And when a complete stranger does it, I appreciate it to. It about respecting others wither you know that person or not. It's not about feminism, equal right, or any other PC term, it's about respecting other humans.
  • Whereismycoffee
    Whereismycoffee Posts: 130 Member
    Yes. Women killed it.
    I kind of agree with this. I remember an older similar thread on here and some women were complaining that feminism must never of happened. Holding a door must be a sign of the male repressing females......

    I must be old school, I :love: the chivalry!

    And I am going to go out on a limb here, and say that I do not agree with some of my sisters out there who are man haters. A man is NOT repressing you or other wise disrespecting you by being a gentleman.
  • lots of southern men still have it other than that, almost dead especially in younger generations
  • The more sandwiches and sweaters she makes, the more chivalrous I am.

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    I love this so much. Gender roles are so much needed.