Is chivalry really dead? :(

Ninguneado77

Yeah since we no longer practice feudalism

really?… lol What is the difference between feudalism and big government?… oh wait yes..freedom and equality right..we enjoy both in america for sure! no feudalism here…that archaic system …we have it so much better today

ohellotheresa

One can only hope.

I guess people think they deserve a pat on the back for behaving politely to women, it can't just be expected. sure, the "good old days" are gone.... I agree... one can only hope that they are gone...

leftyjace

Yeah since we no longer practice feudalism

really?… lol What is the difference between feudalism and big government?… oh wait yes..freedom and equality right..we enjoy both in america for sure! no feudalism here…that archaic system …we have it so much better today

Whereas the gateway to being in a position of power used to simply be birth, it now includes good fortune, athletic ability, and educational attainment.

Mustang_Susie

"Chivalrous" behavior is considered courteous behavior where I live.

Simply put, if a man doesn't behave that way (here), it's a reflection of his upbringing. When he does, it shows that he wasn't "raised by wolves."

It implies that his parents invested time in teaching him right from wrong and how to be considerate of another's feelings.

Now, whether he REALLY IS a good guy or not would remain to be seen.

I actually feel a great deal of sympathy for men who get their "hands slapped" for opening a car door or picking up a check.
The vast majority of the time, when guys behave that way, it's has nothing to do with trying to with trying to be disrespectful. He's just trying to show you that he can be taken in public.

Please note: I'm not saying that a woman should always be a "free loader."

So where you come from it's a classist designator and people who lapse in the case of manners considered acceptable to you are seen as lesser human beings.
Fantastic, a pretty good example of why even "common courtesy" is often just a hodge-podge of passive aggression and condescension.

So, you can affect chivalry while lacking integrity?

leftyjace

I guess people think they deserve a pat on the back for behaving politely to women, it can't just be expected. sure, the "good old days" are gone.... I agree... one can only hope that they are gone...

So you do not wish to be treated politely?

dayone987

I don't think the idea of honor and being polite are in any way misogynistic. I don't care if the "idea" of it came during a time that was misogynistic, that does not negate it's value. However, I admit to being a lot older than you and raised in a much different society where being polite was a virtue. I think the current trend of complete and total self-involvement definitely indicates that living in a "polite" society is certainly on it's death bed.

Lot of truth here.

The debate (for me anyway) isn't so much about people being polite to each other, rather more about the direction of courtesies.No one on here is advocating complete and total self involvement but rather feel that it's great if people of either sex can buy meals, pay for dates, open doors, etc. for males and females.

I'm likely a lot older than you as well, not that it matters.

DamePiglet

"Chivalrous" behavior is considered courteous behavior where I live.

Simply put, if a man doesn't behave that way (here), it's a reflection of his upbringing. When he does, it shows that he wasn't "raised by wolves."

It implies that his parents invested time in teaching him right from wrong and how to be considerate of another's feelings.

Now, whether he REALLY IS a good guy or not would remain to be seen.

I actually feel a great deal of sympathy for men who get their "hands slapped" for opening a car door or picking up a check.
The vast majority of the time, when guys behave that way, it's has nothing to do with trying to with trying to be disrespectful. He's just trying to show you that he can be taken in public.

Please note: I'm not saying that a woman should always be a "free loader."

So where you come from it's a classist designator and people who lapse in the case of manners considered acceptable to you are seen as lesser human beings.
Fantastic, a pretty good example of why even "common courtesy" is often just a hodge-podge of passive aggression and condescension.

So, you can affect chivalry while lacking integrity?

Who is this directed toward?

wheird

One can only hope.

I guess people think they deserve a pat on the back for behaving politely to women, it can't just be expected. sure, the "good old days" are gone.... I agree... one can only hope that they are gone...

Would you prefer to be treated like crap?

Is it not a good thing that when I am dating someone I am kind to them and treat them nicely?

leftyjace

I don't think the idea of honor and being polite are in any way misogynistic. I don't care if the "idea" of it came during a time that was misogynistic, that does not negate it's value. However, I admit to being a lot older than you and raised in a much different society where being polite was a virtue. I think the current trend of complete and total self-involvement definitely indicates that living in a "polite" society is certainly on it's death bed.

Lot of truth here.

The debate (for me anyway) isn't so much about people being polite to each other, rather more about the direction of courtesies.No one on here is advocating complete and total self involvement but rather feel that it's great if people of either sex can buy meals, pay for dates, open doors, etc. for males and females.

I'm likely a lot older than you as well, not that it matters.

I'm older than you think...

I guess I don't understand why permitting and accepting the behavior you describe above has to be a condemnation of the behavior that I espouse. Cannot the two exist, and be appreciated for their own merits?

Ninguneado77

One can only hope.

I guess people think they deserve a pat on the back for behaving politely to women, it can't just be expected. sure, the "good old days" are gone.... I agree... one can only hope that they are gone...

hilarious….Do you people really think today is much better than in the past? In which way? civl rights? voting rights? etc?… this is why our society is so enlightened and civilized today

stumblinthrulife

An argument about whether being polite to one another is a good thing or not.

Oh internet, don't you ever change.

wheird

An argument about whether being polite to one another is a good thing or not.

Oh internet, don't you ever change.

I know right? Apparently being polite is misogynistic. Or something.

leftyjace

An argument about whether being polite to one another is a good thing or not.

Oh internet, don't you ever change.

I know right? Apparently being polite is misogynistic. Or something.

Or perhaps she is just taking part in traditional teenage behavior... meaning, being a contrarian simply to practice asserting herself, regardless of whether the position is logical.

DamePiglet

An argument about whether being polite to one another is a good thing or not.

Oh internet, don't you ever change.

I know right? Apparently being polite is misogynistic. Or something.

Yeah, it's all kind of a blur, really.

wheird

An argument about whether being polite to one another is a good thing or not.

Oh internet, don't you ever change.

I know right? Apparently being polite is misogynistic. Or something.

Or perhaps she is just taking part in traditional teenage behavior... meaning, being a contrarian simply to practice asserting herself, regardless of whether the position is logical.

That is sort of the impression that I am getting.

ohellotheresa

I guess people think they deserve a pat on the back for behaving politely to women, it can't just be expected. sure, the "good old days" are gone.... I agree... one can only hope that they are gone...

So you do not wish to be treated politely?

you would think that wouldn't you? because expecting people to treat people with kindness just BECAUSE and not based on gender means I don't want to be treated politely? I think medieval gender roles are dead yeah, I hope that they are dead because I would like to be treated with more respect than the woman of medieval times..... That must mean I don't want to be treated politely? ...... not quite sure how you got to that but I'm not sure why people are defending chivalry in the first place because it's such an old fashioned out dated thing that I really don't understand. there is no way I can understand. sorry. but your question just validates my own conclusion to myself...

Bobbie8786

I guess people think they deserve a pat on the back for behaving politely to women, it can't just be expected. sure, the "good old days" are gone.... I agree... one can only hope that they are gone...

So you do not wish to be treated politely?

If I may interject, I suspect it is a raging case of thinking it is the appropriate feminist response. Slightly off subject, I wonder how men appreciate being portrayed as completely inept idiots in the modern age. In commercials and t.v. sitcoms you are portrayed as bumbling fools who could not live a day without the brilliance and grace of women. Do you find that sexist or do you just not care because you know better? I suspect it is the latter, too bad more women don't have the level of confidence to brush off imagined slights like some man daring to open a door for her.

Mustang_Susie

"Chivalrous" behavior is considered courteous behavior where I live.

Simply put, if a man doesn't behave that way (here), it's a reflection of his upbringing. When he does, it shows that he wasn't "raised by wolves."

It implies that his parents invested time in teaching him right from wrong and how to be considerate of another's feelings.

Now, whether he REALLY IS a good guy or not would remain to be seen.

I actually feel a great deal of sympathy for men who get their "hands slapped" for opening a car door or picking up a check.
The vast majority of the time, when guys behave that way, it's has nothing to do with trying to with trying to be disrespectful. He's just trying to show you that he can be taken in public.

Please note: I'm not saying that a woman should always be a "free loader."

So where you come from it's a classist designator and people who lapse in the case of manners considered acceptable to you are seen as lesser human beings.
Fantastic, a pretty good example of why even "common courtesy" is often just a hodge-podge of passive aggression and condescension.

So, you can affect chivalry while lacking integrity?

Who is this directed toward?

Anyone.
It is an interesting presupposition don't you think?
You can pretend to be chivalrous to meet a societal standard, yet really lack genuine decency.
The word scoundrel comes to mind...

dayone987

I don't think the idea of honor and being polite are in any way misogynistic. I don't care if the "idea" of it came during a time that was misogynistic, that does not negate it's value. However, I admit to being a lot older than you and raised in a much different society where being polite was a virtue. I think the current trend of complete and total self-involvement definitely indicates that living in a "polite" society is certainly on it's death bed.

Lot of truth here.

The debate (for me anyway) isn't so much about people being polite to each other, rather more about the direction of courtesies.No one on here is advocating complete and total self involvement but rather feel that it's great if people of either sex can buy meals, pay for dates, open doors, etc. for males and females.

I'm likely a lot older than you as well, not that it matters.

I'm older than you think...

I guess I don't understand why permitting and accepting the behavior you describe above has to be a condemnation of the behavior that I espouse. Cannot the two exist, and be appreciated for their own merits?

If you want to extend that behavior to both sexes, no debate. The fact that you feel uncomfortable if that behavior is extended to you by a woman makes me think that it's perhaps not just about generosity.

Why does it make you feel uncomfortable when a woman pays?

FlaxMilk

Would you prefer to be treated like crap?

Is it not a good thing that when I am dating someone I am kind to them and treat them nicely?

It's a great thing. But I think you would probably treat a man you are dating kindly and nicely too. Because you want to have sex, because you genuinely care about them and enjoy their company, because you are a decent person with good manners, because it's a way of showing affection. I'm nice to my husband but no one calls it chivalry.