Harming children to make yourself feel good?

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Replies

  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Have some marzipan babies
    marzipan-babies.jpg

    Wow! Who could actually bring themselves to eat those?!?!?

    They are too adorable though!

    adorable?! creepy as ****!!!!
    Yes yes 100 times yes! CREEPY!!!!

    Reminds me a little of the goya painting...

    SaturnGoya450w20q.jpg
  • dizzow
    dizzow Posts: 65
    A person should always ask before giving treats and sweets. 1. allergies 2. you don't know what the kid has had to eat that day 3. to sneak them food only teaches the kids it's ok to be sneaky. 4. IT ALL DEPENDS!! -- Are the kids going to be out running around for hours or sitting in the family room playing video games. You also don't know how many cookies they had at home, or other parties etc they have been to that day. The biggest thing of all, you are not their parent and its not up to you.
    It's not wrong to have cookies and such for the kiddo's to eat, but let the parent be the deciding person.
    I have been on both sides of this coin. I was an overindulged child who could have had 20 cookies (and probably ate closer to that than not). No I didn't eat that many everyday but visiting grandparents on holidays and once or twice a month adds up. - Of course my diet was out of what at home too. It all worked together with other factors that helped make me fat.
    I also had children who had grandparents that didn't think it was necessary for my kids to be obedient to me when we were there, food-wise and otherwise. Didn't eat your dinner? No problem, lets have cake, pie, cookies, donuts...... NOT COOL.
  • jayrudq
    jayrudq Posts: 475 Member
    I have long held the philosophy that my kid will get healthy, well-balanced nutritious food that TASTES GOOD at home and the rest...it is out of my control. This of course, has evolved over time. I was the Mom who made my kid that hideous horrible tasting "natural" and "low sugar" carrot cake for his first birthday. That didn't last long. Store bought cupcakes every since.
    On the other hand, my Mom feels it is her personal duty to make up for the lack of junk food in our home. She sends him home with Kraft Mac and Cheese (I love it too and am secretly thrilled), buys him boxes of sugar cereal for his birthday, and basically gives him treats she saves up for him every time he visits. They both love it and really, isn't that what Grandparents are for? He doesn't go nuts and it healthy as a horse - so a little (or a lot in some cases) has never done any harm and has bonded the two of them. Against me. Which is just fine.

    And on dogs? We don't feed our dog people food because I hate dogs that beg (growing up we had one that would drool in your lap), it isn't well balanced, can lead to fat dogs, and our Standard Poodle is a food stealer already. Ate the butter of the table last week.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Ew Eugenio. :sick:

    I was actually thinking more along the lines of Ugolino.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Ew Eugenio. :sick:

    I was actually thinking more along the lines of Ugolino.

    YES, I LOVE YOU!!!

    I was too, but I have a strange memory overlap between Ugolino and the Saturn, Neptune painitngs.
    I know I saw the Ugolino scultpture more often but I always see in my mind the Goya in its place.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Ew Eugenio. :sick:

    I was actually thinking more along the lines of Ugolino.

    YES, I LOVE YOU!!!

    I was too, but I have a strange memory overlap between Ugolino and the Saturn, Neptune painitngs.
    I know I saw the Ugolino scultpture more often but I always see in my mind the Goya in its place.

    :heart:
  • bugaha1
    bugaha1 Posts: 602 Member
    I have a dog (not exactly the same thing) but you would be amazed how many people think it's ok to give an animal people food. Anytime I go to a social gather I make it clear to everyone that it is not OK to feed my dog anything. I think it's a parent's responsibility (or pet owner) to have that talk with family/friends. Don't just assume that everyone should know.

    Now I know I'll have to sneak a little wienie to your dog.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Ew Eugenio. :sick:

    I was actually thinking more along the lines of Ugolino.

    YES, I LOVE YOU!!!

    I was too, but I have a strange memory overlap between Ugolino and the Saturn, Neptune painitngs.
    I know I saw the Ugolino scultpture more often but I always see in my mind the Goya in its place.
    If you post The Garden of Earlthy Delights, I will perma-ignore you! And no Dali, please (except the melting clocks).

    I was an art history major for a couple semesters and I have nightmares about some of that stuff to this day.

    Gimme Impressionists, please. They make me happy.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Ew Eugenio. :sick:

    I was actually thinking more along the lines of Ugolino.

    YES, I LOVE YOU!!!

    I was too, but I have a strange memory overlap between Ugolino and the Saturn, Neptune painitngs.
    I know I saw the Ugolino scultpture more often but I always see in my mind the Goya in its place.
    If you post The Garden of Earlthy Delights, I will perma-ignore you! And no Dali, please (except the melting clocks).

    I was an art history major for a couple semesters and I have nightmares about some of that stuff to this day.

    Gimme Impressionists, please. They make me happy.

    Oh no, that's terrible. :laugh:

    I love The Garden of Earthly Delights. I find Dali a bit overrated but I'm a sucker for Frida Kahlo.
  • Confuzzled4ever
    Confuzzled4ever Posts: 2,860 Member
    Really???

    My mother and uncle can spoil my son all they want when they see him..

    he eats healthy nutritious meals at home, with little snacks. A fwe days of a few too many treats isn't going to harm your children.. It's part of childhood! Who didn't have the old lady they visited everyday because she had the best cookies??? It's not safe to do that anymore, but when I was a kid, I used to visit 2 little ole ladies and listen to their boring stories all for the sake of cookies.

    Those who don't know your kids that well should ask, because there are so many allergies and kids don't always use their brains and say no thank you or to ask what kind it is.. but grandparents?? Aunts.. come on...

    seriously??
  • tworthen79
    tworthen79 Posts: 1,173 Member
    I have a dog (not exactly the same thing) but you would be amazed how many people think it's ok to give an animal people food. Anytime I go to a social gather I make it clear to everyone that it is not OK to feed my dog anything. I think it's a parent's responsibility (or pet owner) to have that talk with family/friends. Don't just assume that everyone should know.

    Now I know I'll have to sneak a little wienie to your dog.

    Ummm? Don't be so hard on yourself.
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
    I have a dog (not exactly the same thing) but you would be amazed how many people think it's ok to give an animal people food. Anytime I go to a social gather I make it clear to everyone that it is not OK to feed my dog anything. I think it's a parent's responsibility (or pet owner) to have that talk with family/friends. Don't just assume that everyone should know.

    that's because it is okay to give an animal people food.

    With the exception of like chicken bones and chocolate things- most of what we eat is fine for them.
    There are a few more exceptions. Some notable things: grapes/raisins, onions, garlic, xylitol (sugar substitute used in some sugarless gums and candies). You can always get a list from your veterinarian. Dogs aren't small (or large, heh) people.
  • somerisagirlsname
    somerisagirlsname Posts: 467 Member
    We never allow our dogs people food, it is not good for them
    True. A piece of steak is TERRIBLE for a dog. I mean, why would you feed a dog meat? It's not as though that's what they're built to eat or anything.

    That doesn't make sense, dogs are carnivores!

    The_Sarcasm_Misunderstanding_by_ThePlotThinnens.jpg
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Ew Eugenio. :sick:

    I was actually thinking more along the lines of Ugolino.

    YES, I LOVE YOU!!!

    I was too, but I have a strange memory overlap between Ugolino and the Saturn, Neptune painitngs.
    I know I saw the Ugolino scultpture more often but I always see in my mind the Goya in its place.
    If you post The Garden of Earlthy Delights, I will perma-ignore you! And no Dali, please (except the melting clocks).

    I was an art history major for a couple semesters and I have nightmares about some of that stuff to this day.

    Gimme Impressionists, please. They make me happy.

    Oh no, that's terrible. :laugh:

    I love The Garden of Earthly Delights. I find Dali a bit overrated but I'm a sucker for Frida Kahlo.
    I learned about Kahlo as a person before I ever saw any of her art and I think that ruined her art for me. It isn't really my taste, anyway. Her politics were a bit extreme for me.

    There are plenty of other artists whose politics are just as bad, but I fell in love with their work before I knew that stuff. So now I feel guilty for liking their work. It's really awful.

    Dali is just so dark. I don't like the tortured, dark stuff. There are only a couple Van Goghs I like because his stuff was so tortured, too. I appreciate the talent and beauty, but I don't enjoy it.
  • aphroditesmaiden
    aphroditesmaiden Posts: 45 Member
    This is 10000% true. From personal experience as an ex fat kid.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Ew Eugenio. :sick:

    I was actually thinking more along the lines of Ugolino.

    YES, I LOVE YOU!!!

    I was too, but I have a strange memory overlap between Ugolino and the Saturn, Neptune painitngs.
    I know I saw the Ugolino scultpture more often but I always see in my mind the Goya in its place.
    If you post The Garden of Earlthy Delights, I will perma-ignore you! And no Dali, please (except the melting clocks).

    I was an art history major for a couple semesters and I have nightmares about some of that stuff to this day.

    Gimme Impressionists, please. They make me happy.

    Oh no, that's terrible. :laugh:

    I love The Garden of Earthly Delights. I find Dali a bit overrated but I'm a sucker for Frida Kahlo.
    I learned about Kahlo as a person before I ever saw any of her art and I think that ruined her art for me. It isn't really my taste, anyway. Her politics were a bit extreme for me.

    There are plenty of other artists whose politics are just as bad, but I fell in love with their work before I knew that stuff. So now I feel guilty for liking their work. It's really awful.

    Dali is just so dark. I don't like the tortured, dark stuff. There are only a couple Van Goghs I like because his stuff was so tortured, too. I appreciate the talent and beauty, but I don't enjoy it.

    I'm just the opposite. I look at Impressionism or Rococo and I think well, that's pretty I guess but what else? It's got to have more to it than that for me to enjoy it.

    eta: I love Frida because I see a lot of my own pain and fears reflected in her work. She and I have a lot in common (meaning her personal life, not so much her politics).
  • ali4579
    ali4579 Posts: 24 Member
    The only thing I have a problem with is foods w/dye in them. My son is super sensitive to dyes in foods. They make him bounce of the walls totally uncontrollable HYPER!!! You give him dye, he goes home with you!!! It takes about 3 days for it to get out of his system. No dye its ok to give him sweets, but in moderation please.

    I second this! I'm all for a nice clean sugar rush, but certain food colours can turn my darling daughter into the bogan child from hell. It lasts about three days and then you get another three days of a sad, withdrawn little girl. Fortunately everyone in our lives is reasonably good about finding alternatives.

    The whole point of grandparents is to spoil grandkids. If you turn my little one upside down after a visit, chocolates fall out of all her pockets :D
  • So disrespectful to give them the sweets anyway when you said no, that's just rude.

    I agree with you. Also with pets, people can be so disrespectful and just feed your pets all kinds of rubbish. I remember a woman being shocked when I told her not to give alcohol to my dog.........she was really shocked.....yeah I know....

    If you say no as a parent then that needs to be respected.

    Same goes for money, you should not give money to kids without asking the parents first. Actually i think any gift.

    I would not give a child anything without checking with the parents first.

    Anyone who disagrees with you and wants to make fun of you or be rude is just not understanding the situation.


    You can also (good luck with this) try to get your kids used to refusing things from other people, especially relatives...as I said, good luck with that....
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Ew Eugenio. :sick:

    I was actually thinking more along the lines of Ugolino.

    YES, I LOVE YOU!!!

    I was too, but I have a strange memory overlap between Ugolino and the Saturn, Neptune painitngs.
    I know I saw the Ugolino scultpture more often but I always see in my mind the Goya in its place.
    If you post The Garden of Earlthy Delights, I will perma-ignore you! And no Dali, please (except the melting clocks).

    I was an art history major for a couple semesters and I have nightmares about some of that stuff to this day.

    Gimme Impressionists, please. They make me happy.

    Oh no, that's terrible. :laugh:

    I love The Garden of Earthly Delights. I find Dali a bit overrated but I'm a sucker for Frida Kahlo.
    I learned about Kahlo as a person before I ever saw any of her art and I think that ruined her art for me. It isn't really my taste, anyway. Her politics were a bit extreme for me.

    There are plenty of other artists whose politics are just as bad, but I fell in love with their work before I knew that stuff. So now I feel guilty for liking their work. It's really awful.

    Dali is just so dark. I don't like the tortured, dark stuff. There are only a couple Van Goghs I like because his stuff was so tortured, too. I appreciate the talent and beauty, but I don't enjoy it.

    Kahlo/Rivera lived a few blocks from my grandfather. He disliked them very much and always called them "those people" or "those degenerates". lol. Only real failing that I know the man had (well, he liked to have his meat overcooked). And he always bought me dulce de camote. I guess for the OP that's a failing. Sad ....


    Camote candy:
    camote.jpg
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Ew Eugenio. :sick:

    I was actually thinking more along the lines of Ugolino.

    YES, I LOVE YOU!!!

    I was too, but I have a strange memory overlap between Ugolino and the Saturn, Neptune painitngs.
    I know I saw the Ugolino scultpture more often but I always see in my mind the Goya in its place.
    If you post The Garden of Earlthy Delights, I will perma-ignore you! And no Dali, please (except the melting clocks).

    I was an art history major for a couple semesters and I have nightmares about some of that stuff to this day.

    Gimme Impressionists, please. They make me happy.

    Oh no, that's terrible. :laugh:

    I love The Garden of Earthly Delights. I find Dali a bit overrated but I'm a sucker for Frida Kahlo.
    I learned about Kahlo as a person before I ever saw any of her art and I think that ruined her art for me. It isn't really my taste, anyway. Her politics were a bit extreme for me.

    There are plenty of other artists whose politics are just as bad, but I fell in love with their work before I knew that stuff. So now I feel guilty for liking their work. It's really awful.

    Dali is just so dark. I don't like the tortured, dark stuff. There are only a couple Van Goghs I like because his stuff was so tortured, too. I appreciate the talent and beauty, but I don't enjoy it.

    I'm just the opposite. I look at Impressionism or Rococo and I think well, that's pretty I guess but what else? It's got to have more to it than that for me to enjoy it.

    eta: I love Frida because I see a lot of my own pain and fears reflected in her work. She and I have a lot in common (meaning her personal life, not so much her politics).
    :-)

    The wonderful thing about art is that there is something out there for everyone. I've learned with art (all forms) I can appreciate that something is good even when I don't personally like it.

    One of my favorite more modern artists is Jack Vettriano. His stuff speaks to me. But Renoir is my all-time favorite.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Ew Eugenio. :sick:

    I was actually thinking more along the lines of Ugolino.

    YES, I LOVE YOU!!!

    I was too, but I have a strange memory overlap between Ugolino and the Saturn, Neptune painitngs.
    I know I saw the Ugolino scultpture more often but I always see in my mind the Goya in its place.
    If you post The Garden of Earlthy Delights, I will perma-ignore you! And no Dali, please (except the melting clocks).

    I was an art history major for a couple semesters and I have nightmares about some of that stuff to this day.

    Gimme Impressionists, please. They make me happy.

    Oh no, that's terrible. :laugh:

    I love The Garden of Earthly Delights. I find Dali a bit overrated but I'm a sucker for Frida Kahlo.
    I learned about Kahlo as a person before I ever saw any of her art and I think that ruined her art for me. It isn't really my taste, anyway. Her politics were a bit extreme for me.

    There are plenty of other artists whose politics are just as bad, but I fell in love with their work before I knew that stuff. So now I feel guilty for liking their work. It's really awful.

    Dali is just so dark. I don't like the tortured, dark stuff. There are only a couple Van Goghs I like because his stuff was so tortured, too. I appreciate the talent and beauty, but I don't enjoy it.

    I'm just the opposite. I look at Impressionism or Rococo and I think well, that's pretty I guess but what else? It's got to have more to it than that for me to enjoy it.

    eta: I love Frida because I see a lot of my own pain and fears reflected in her work. She and I have a lot in common (meaning her personal life, not so much her politics).
    :-)

    The wonderful thing about art is that there is something out there for everyone. I've learned with art (all forms) I can appreciate that something is good even when I don't personally like it.

    One of my favorite more modern artists is Jack Vettriano. His stuff speaks to me. But Renoir is my all-time favorite.

    I've got a Jack Vettriano print in my living room-- The Singing Butler. See? Common ground.


    Also now this thread is about art. And dogs. :laugh:
  • fannyfrost
    fannyfrost Posts: 756 Member
    Grandparents and aunties especially, and friends and relatives everywhere - please, please, please, please, please ask parents first BEFORE offering children sweets and treats!!!!! And NEVER sneak them treats when parents say no.

    Of course you're not harming them on purpose, but a diet with too many cookies, cakes, candy and sweets is never good for anyone, especially children, especially when they are busy - and there are a lot of "special visits" during the holidays, so your offer might be a child's sixth cookie for the day.

    Kids don't yet have the ability to make considered choices about their nutrition; their parents do. If you're going around Mom and Dad to feed them high calorie, nutritionally void food - you're getting your own, warm, fuzzy, heart warming smile, "thank you," and, "I love you," AT THEIR EXPENSE - in straight, harsh terms: YOU ARE HARMING THEM TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD. STOP.

    I agree you should ask, but at the same time I have a friend and her sister controls what her kids eat to the point that the little girl pretends not have lunch at school so she can buy chicken nuggets (age 7). She limited her sons portions at age 2. She exerts so much control over the food the kids are allowed that the daughter will actually eat food she doesn't like if her mother says she is not allowed to have it.

    While I am all for healthy eating and watching the treats, your post makes me also wonder if you are making such a big deal out of it with your kids that you may be giving them an eating disorder well before they even enter their teens. Aunts and Uncles and grandparents will give kids treats. The trick is for mom to be prepared. Allergies of course are also an issue, so no one should offer a child a sweet if they haven't confirmed allergies, etc.
  • Confuzzled4ever
    Confuzzled4ever Posts: 2,860 Member
    This is 10000% true. From personal experience as an ex fat kid.

    I'm also an ex fat kid.. but i'm pretty sure my proclivity to over eat in general caused the obesity, rather then the cookies I was given by family members.

    I even ate really healthy as a kid and exercised..
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I've got a Jack Vettriano print in my living room-- The Singing Butler. See? Common ground.


    Also now this thread is about art. And dogs.

    As it should be!

    The Singing Butler is a great one. My favorite of his is The Waltzers.
  • Ew Eugenio. :sick:

    I was actually thinking more along the lines of Ugolino.

    YES, I LOVE YOU!!!

    I was too, but I have a strange memory overlap between Ugolino and the Saturn, Neptune painitngs.
    I know I saw the Ugolino scultpture more often but I always see in my mind the Goya in its place.
    If you post The Garden of Earlthy Delights, I will perma-ignore you! And no Dali, please (except the melting clocks).

    I was an art history major for a couple semesters and I have nightmares about some of that stuff to this day.

    Gimme Impressionists, please. They make me happy.

    Oh no, that's terrible. :laugh:

    I love The Garden of Earthly Delights. I find Dali a bit overrated but I'm a sucker for Frida Kahlo.
    I learned about Kahlo as a person before I ever saw any of her art and I think that ruined her art for me. It isn't really my taste, anyway. Her politics were a bit extreme for me.

    There are plenty of other artists whose politics are just as bad, but I fell in love with their work before I knew that stuff. So now I feel guilty for liking their work. It's really awful.

    Dali is just so dark. I don't like the tortured, dark stuff. There are only a couple Van Goghs I like because his stuff was so tortured, too. I appreciate the talent and beauty, but I don't enjoy it.

    I'm just the opposite. I look at Impressionism or Rococo and I think well, that's pretty I guess but what else? It's got to have more to it than that for me to enjoy it.

    eta: I love Frida because I see a lot of my own pain and fears reflected in her work. She and I have a lot in common (meaning her personal life, not so much her politics).
    :-)

    The wonderful thing about art is that there is something out there for everyone. I've learned with art (all forms) I can appreciate that something is good even when I don't personally like it.

    One of my favorite more modern artists is Jack Vettriano. His stuff speaks to me. But Renoir is my all-time favorite.

    I've got a Jack Vettriano print in my living room-- The Singing Butler. See? Common ground.


    Also now this thread is about art. And dogs. :laugh:

    Thank, goodness! Cause the original post was a bit silly.
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    Have some marzipan babies
    marzipan-babies.jpg

    Reminds me a little of the goya painting...

    SaturnGoya450w20q.jpg

    Gruß vom Krampus!

    Krampus+Eating+Child.jpg


    Thanks for the reminder, Parys! Cats + onions or garlic = Heinz body anemia. Bigtime nope.
  • Commander_Keen
    Commander_Keen Posts: 1,179 Member
    Parents need to:
    Make sure thier kids go to school
    Make sure their kids go to bed.
    brush their teeth
    exercise 60min a a day.
  • bmqbonnie
    bmqbonnie Posts: 836 Member
    While I'd agree it's really rude and dangerous to give a kid (or animal, for that matter) food without asking first (they could have allergies or something), I think this is a little out of check. It sounds like you want to forbid sweets or junk food of any kind, ever. That kind of mindset is going to backfire on you.

    Now I see the discussion turned to art for some reason and need to read more posts.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Thanks for the reminder, Parys! Cats + onions or garlic = Heinz body anemia. Bigtime nope.

    TIL no onions to cats. Useful, if I ever cat.
  • bagge72
    bagge72 Posts: 1,377 Member
    So, today...my 3 year old is having a pancake for breakfast. And after he gets done with school (where he will ONLY eat a pb&j sandwich and fruit), he is gonna have french fries. And at some point he will have a fruit snack with his gummy vitamin. After dinner (probably pizza bites or fish sticks) he's gonna have a cookie. Oh, and yogurt, applesauce, some more fruit, some 'juice' (water with a touch of 100% juice for flavor), and who know what else. Guess what: he's in the top 95% of the height and weight scales, and is healthy as an ox.

    Maybe for that, he will have another cookie. =)

    Not that I care, but you do realize that being in the 95% of height and weight means your kid is bigger than 95% of the kids out there?