"Please include a message with your friend request.."
Replies
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Well I'm totally opposite most. When starting my MFP account I knew no one on here and requested people I felt shared a similar journey. I can count on one hand how many of those request had a message! Also if I read a disclaimer on a person's page that I'm considering requesting I won't request them. Not to be mean but it's not that serious! If you except a friend request and later feel they are just taking up space you can delete them.???? I know crazy right? Yep people there's a delete button. Lol Bottom line is do what works for you no need to get bent out of shape because someone else doesn't like it. Who Cares!!!!????????????0
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I did the same, and made the first line. Now it's literally the only thing you see, and I still get random requests with no message. If you can't even be bothered to read that one single sentence and are just FR bombing, nope. I want people I share something with.I used to have this on my profile when it was public and I still got blank FR, which told me they didn't even bother reading it.
Having a complete stranger add you without a little note explaining where they saw you or how they found you is creepy to me. It has nothing to do with being a snob. I don't add just anyone; I like my friends to have similar views as me.
Unless you're hot. Then you get a pass.0 -
Adding a complete stranger is hard for some. What is wrong with asking how did you come across my profile? Perhaps they are a friend of a friend. Its not the same as adding a friend on FB ... those people you know in real life.
As for not adding any more friends...good idea sometimes. If you want to be a true support and encourager to someone how can you do that if you have 100s or 1000s of friends. Its hard to keep up with your own life let alone the lives of so many others. If you want to have a more meaningful connection on MFP ... then I understand the limiting of friends on the0 -
I accept any requests...just don't be creepy or I'll take you off. Simple enough right?
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FYI my OP was all in sarcasm. I could care less.
The responses are quite humorous, nonetheless.
Carry on children, carry on....
No it wasn't, no back-pedalling allowed0 -
I only included a disclaimer after people were sending me friend requests with whom I clearly had nothing in common (ie. 50 year old men, "18" year old girls trying to starve themselves...). I actually take the time to support my "friends" on here - I read their updates, follow their exercise burns, etc. I don't have the time to add someone who is going to write crap on my wall that I really don't care about. If that bothers you, then don't add me. Go cry somewhere else.0
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I have no disclaimer. I figure that I don't want to be friends with the kind of person that would send a blank FR.0
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I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I always question getting a friend request without a message from someone who's had no recent posts or no mutual friends. Why are they adding me? It doesn't make them any less of a stranger but it is nice to know why they would like to become friends with me. And as for the 'not accepting anymore friends'. Again, nothing wrong with it. I like to keep my list fairly minimal because I don't need 'numbers'. I need people that I can relate to and support.0
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Would you go up to a complete stranger in the real world and be like 'hey, we should be friends now!' without so much as saying why you think you should be friends? No. Why? Because that's absurd. The same applies here. It is weird to just try to be friends with someone without even wanting to say why you want to be friends. The message box was created for friends requests for a reason, and it's been that way here for years (which you know because you've been here since 2011 --at least in this incarnation).
By the way, I want to be friends with your mum. Make that happen.
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It seems like this is something said because someone else said it on their profile. To be exclusive you must add this disclaimer to your profile. Miss me with that...
When did this become so important or the norm?
Just sounds like some MFPers are becoming friending snobs.
Some of them won't admit they are quick to accept a friend request on FB and 9x/10 there is no accompanying message.
Some people have gotten a little above themselves.
Or the other one that gets me is, "I'm not adding anymore new friends"
What the what?! It's not like there's a fire code for your friend's list...
Then another thing that gets me is that people go on to justify why they need a message LOL. As if the message makes the person no longer a stranger.
Insanity at its best....
That's team too much for me...
OP- A little judgemental??
Some people get numerous ones a day and cannot distinguish those that will be supportive and those that are meaningless time wasters.
Adding the latter means your 'actual' supportive friends are not exposed to the full extent of your support.
Every friends request that I give I include a message and if it's the obvious I will state 'you're hot, additional motivation'
We live in the 21st century, people are more susceptible to receiving 'creepy' friend requests. I sure do and I just ignore them unless they stipulate fitness.
So there you go, challenge me, I dare you. I am a fiesty aussie and I assure the above is not an extension of my 'ego' moreso my personality 0 -
PS I AM FAR INTERESTED IN BIO's THEN PICS I read every one I FR unless it's a closed profile (shame on you). lol 0
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FYI my OP was all in sarcasm. I could care less.
The responses are quite humorous, nonetheless.
Carry on children, carry on....
No it wasn't, no back-pedalling allowed
[/quote]
^ THIS! so true! :drinker:0 -
Well I'm totally opposite most. When starting my MFP account I knew no one on here and requested people I felt shared a similar journey. I can count on one hand how many of those request had a message! Also if I read a disclaimer on a person's page that I'm considering requesting I won't request them. Not to be mean but it's not that serious! If you except a friend request and later feel they are just taking up space you can delete them.???? I know crazy right? Yep people there's a delete button. Lol Bottom line is do what works for you no need to get bent out of shape because someone else doesn't like it. Who Cares!!!!????????????
It's not about it being serious. It's just who has time to deal with a list full of friends that you don't know on a fitness site that happened to have a social element (when we just thought we were here to work on fitness and track our food).
Exactly...Who Cares...why care. You all just do your thing and those of us that like to connect with people before becoming friends will do our thing. Why worry about what other people write on their page. If it bothers you then you know you won't be compatible.0 -
IN. For bacon, ice cream, & caramel.
Also for the lovely trainwreck of passive aggressiveness. Because we should all have identical definitions of "support" and it MUST be offensive to assertively state what your feelings re: friending are in your own profile.
YMMV. PLUR.
Fer dog's sake, IDIC, people.
*off to re-write profile*0 -
PS I AM FAR INTERESTED IN BIO's THEN PICS I read every one I FR unless it's a closed profile (shame on you). lol
Yeah bio is more important than pics. But, the pics somewhat help to indicate that we are more likely to be speaking to a potentially real person (although no guarantee). Even a pic of something is better than no pic at all (just to know the person is going to be active and so we don't mix them up with all the other blank profiles.0 -
Well I'm totally opposite most. When starting my MFP account I knew no one on here and requested people I felt shared a similar journey. I can count on one hand how many of those request had a message! Also if I read a disclaimer on a person's page that I'm considering requesting I won't request them. Not to be mean but it's not that serious! If you except a friend request and later feel they are just taking up space you can delete them.???? I know crazy right? Yep people there's a delete button. Lol Bottom line is do what works for you no need to get bent out of shape because someone else doesn't like it. Who Cares!!!!????????????
Exactly. I feel the same way. And do the same thing. I have some great friends on my list and i would of never known that if I haven't of accepted their request and most didn't send a message. If you send a message that's fine but I don't analyze a message to decide whether are not you would be a great friend for my list. If i add you and you don't be active or you come with that foolishness then, delete. I mean this isn't a dating site (even though never know who you might meet) or facebook or instagram. But to each its own right.0 -
It seems like this is something said because someone else said it on their profile. To be exclusive you must add this disclaimer to your profile. Miss me with that...
When did this become so important or the norm?
Just sounds like some MFPers are becoming friending snobs.
Some of them won't admit they are quick to accept a friend request on FB and 9x/10 there is no accompanying message.
Some people have gotten a little above themselves.
Or the other one that gets me is, "I'm not adding anymore new friends"
What the what?! It's not like there's a fire code for your friend's list...
Then another thing that gets me is that people go on to justify why they need a message LOL. As if the message makes the person no longer a stranger.
Insanity at its best....
That's team too much for me...
You do it your way, I do it mine.......I think that's fairly acceptable in the free world.0 -
I like to know I have at least something in common with everyone on my friend list. I never send blank friend requests, and I don't accept them. I put people on my friend list because I want to regularly interact with them. Every person on my FL adds something I find valuable, and I hope I add something for them also. I'm not interested in measuring myself by the size of my FL.
As to facebook, I have even more strict criteria. To make my FB list I have to either know you personally, outside of the internet, or have had significant amounts of interaction with you online, and feel I have a lot in common with you. After all, you'll be seeing details of my personal life. Less than 10% of my FB friend list is composed of people I have never met in person, and I keep my list under 100. I have old school friends that didn't make the FB cut.
I think perhaps you are the arrogant one, OP, for seemingly thinking you know the motivations of complete strangers.0 -
I would like to know why someone wants to be my friend. If there is some common link, sure, but otherwise, I find it creepy. So I really appreciate a message. I almost never send friend requests, because there's no-one on here that I know in real life, and that's sort of my reason for befriending someone on the internet.
If I've gotten to know someone over time, through chatting about things on a message board, and I recognise their name, then that's a common link that's good enough for me.
However, since I have all my settings pretty private, and really don't post anything on my profile, I don't quite see why anyone would find me that interesting. I'm logging for me only, no-one else. I don't want to feel like someone else is expecting me to do something.0 -
PS I AM FAR INTERESTED IN BIO's THEN PICS I read every one I FR unless it's a closed profile (shame on you). lol
Yeah bio is more important than pics. But, the pics somewhat help to indicate that we are more likely to be speaking to a potentially real person (although no guarantee). Even a pic of something is better than no pic at all (just to know the person is going to be active and so we don't mix them up with all the other blank profiles.
This is true I was just saying if they have a profile (unless I am on my app) I will take the time to read them
That's all 0 -
FYI my OP was all in sarcasm. I could care less.
The responses are quite humorous, nonetheless.
Carry on children, carry on....
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I think some people look for different things from an online weight loss community. Just because you don't mind adding a lot of people, or people without messages, doesn't mean that everyone else should not mind, either.
For example, maybe there are people who only add other women/men because that's who they feel more comfortable with. Or maybe they feel more comfortable with people their own age. Perhaps they'd received a FR with no message and were harassed by the person they added and won't do it anymore.
You don't know everybody's reasons and shooting people down just because they do something differently than you is just childish.0 -
[quote/]
I used to have this on my profile when it was public and I still got blank FR, which told me they didn't even bother reading it.
Having a complete stranger add you without a little note explaining where they saw you or how they found you is creepy to me. It has nothing to do with being a snob. I don't add just anyone; I like my friends to have similar views as me.
quote/]
I agree with you. I recently ( within the last week ) did not accept two people that neither wrote a note, nor did they have one single thing in their profile. I was not even able to figure out if they were male or female. Why would I accept a friend's request from someone who obviously does not want me to know anything about them ?0 -
I just like to know why someone is sending a request?
Is it because of my awesome GIFs I post?
Is it because I'm snarky and "harsh" in the forums?
Is it because of the kind of food I eat?0 -
my potential friends must pass a 4-hour written and verbal exam.
...and a background check.
...and a physical.
...and have a solid credit history.
...and put up some collateral.
i think these requirements are reasonable. :huh:
Baahaaaa!0 -
FYI my OP was all in sarcasm. I could care less.
The responses are quite humorous, nonetheless.
Carry on children, carry on....
sar·casm
ˈsärˌkazəm/Submit
noun
noun: sarcasm; plural noun: sarcasms
1.
the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.
2.
a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter gibe or taunt.It seems like this is something said because someone else said it on their profile. To be exclusive you must add this disclaimer to your profile. Miss me with that...
When did this become so important or the norm?
Just sounds like some MFPers are becoming friending snobs.
Some of them won't admit they are quick to accept a friend request on FB and 9x/10 there is no accompanying message.
Some people have gotten a little above themselves.
Or the other one that gets me is, "I'm not adding anymore new friends"
What the what?! It's not like there's a fire code for your friend's list...
Then another thing that gets me is that people go on to justify why they need a message LOL. As if the message makes the person no longer a stranger.
Insanity at its best....
That's team too much for me...
Sarcasm? I think you don't know what sarcasm means or involves, to be honest.
I'm gonna have to give your backpedaling a 3/10 OP. Would not bang.0 -
I'm with team "Don't have time for that"
Where that =
People who don't eat enough
People who cry on the forums
People who are too needy
And bacon haters.
Seriously. Who hates bacon?
Or ice cream.
I love denying friend requests that are blank.
Can we not be friends anymore, Travis?!!
Being vegetarian, obviously I don't like bacon.
But for real with this thread... I'm picky with whose FRs I accept because I like to actually support and encourage my friends (and hope they feel the same). As someone else said, I'm not here to collect a number. I couldn't care less if my friends list had 0 people or 1,000 people since this site isn't a popularity contest - though the high end there would be too difficult for me to interact with so honestly I wouldn't want it that big. (TWSS)
It seems that the majority of people who get upset about these "disclaimers" or people being picky with who they accept don't really care about honest support and just want a big FL to show how "cool" they are.0 -
FYI my OP was all in sarcasm. I could care less.
The responses are quite humorous, nonetheless.
Carry on children, carry on....
sar·casm
ˈsärˌkazəm/Submit
noun
noun: sarcasm; plural noun: sarcasms
1.
the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.
2.
a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter gibe or taunt.It seems like this is something said because someone else said it on their profile. To be exclusive you must add this disclaimer to your profile. Miss me with that...
When did this become so important or the norm?
Just sounds like some MFPers are becoming friending snobs.
Some of them won't admit they are quick to accept a friend request on FB and 9x/10 there is no accompanying message.
Some people have gotten a little above themselves.
Or the other one that gets me is, "I'm not adding anymore new friends"
What the what?! It's not like there's a fire code for your friend's list...
Then another thing that gets me is that people go on to justify why they need a message LOL. As if the message makes the person no longer a stranger.
Insanity at its best....
That's team too much for me...
Sarcasm? I think you don't know what sarcasm means or involves, to be honest.
I'm gonna have to give your backpedaling a 3/10 OP. Would not bang.
I'm sorry Achrya but I get different maths on this one.
"Sarcastic" Disingenuine Post
+
DGAF
+
responses are quite humorous
Troll to the infinity power (give or take an infinity)0 -
One of the reasons we have the disclaimer is so people won't take it personally if we decline. Because it's not personal, we are all strangers here.0
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It seems like this is something said because someone else said it on their profile. To be exclusive you must add this disclaimer to your profile. Miss me with that...
When did this become so important or the norm?
Just sounds like some MFPers are becoming friending snobs.
Some of them won't admit they are quick to accept a friend request on FB and 9x/10 there is no accompanying message.
Some people have gotten a little above themselves.
Or the other one that gets me is, "I'm not adding anymore new friends"
What the what?! It's not like there's a fire code for your friend's list...
Then another thing that gets me is that people go on to justify why they need a message LOL. As if the message makes the person no longer a stranger.
Insanity at its best....
That's team too much for me...
I agree with you OP. That's why I took that message off. A lot of mfpers take the social side seriously though and really want to know their FL though.0
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