Poll: Giving compliments at the gym?
Replies
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I don't give compliments besides to my workout partner if she rocks a move and I notice. I go to the gym and try to focus on me alone. Even when on the treadmill I close my eyes and mediate so I avoid people. I would be creeped if someone who I don't know comes up to me and admit they are watching me workout
it's a gym... everyone watches everyone. It's what people do- they people watch.Male to female compliment: Common. Attempt to plant a seed which may lead to sexual encounter. Actual merit to compliment not required but is helpful.
Female to male compliment: Less common but not unheard of. Reserved for uber fit guys most likely since it's difficult to tell how much money a man makes if he's dressed in workout clothing.
Female to female compliment: Stems from a woman's need to compare herself to her peers constantly (5'3" females who are 135lbs, what's your pants size?)
Male to male compliment: No happening probably. Maybe two bros comparing notes. Otherwise nope.
or they could just be complimenting them on hard work. Seriously- STOP READING SO MUCH INTO IT- it's not ALWAYS like that.
So are people who are working hard but aren't clearly in shape getting complimented? I'm guessing nope.
I have told the guy who comes in and kills himself every single time that I wish I had his commitment to it. He can't do push ups because his stomach is still touching the ground when his arms are fully extended.0 -
Everyone else is mostly just taking sides.
I changed sides recently. a week ago i was on the treadmill when the gal mopping the floor (the only other person in the room, and 1 of 5 total ppl there, including me) starting chatting me up. my initial reflex was to put my earbuds back in, look down, and ignore her, maybe frown a little. (rly lady? you're working at a gym and you don't know well enough to leave someone who's in the middle of a workout alone??) besides that i don't open up to "strangers" easily. i was feeling froggy, i guess, because i decided to take a step outside of my (socially-anxious, introverted) comfort zone and try talking to her instead, jogging 5.2 mph (perfectly fine pace for casual convo).
i didn't turn into a pumpkin.
i didn't get anxious.
she didn't annoy the crap out of me.
i didn't resent her for not having the 'sense' to 'leave me alone' (for more than like 0.0000059 sec)
we actually had a nice talk, while i finished my run. she gave me a couple of compliments ("I'm getting sore/tired just watching you" is always compliment to me).
i'm not suggesting anyone make a point of interrupting or compromising their workouts for the sake of socializing. (the place was empty. she was obviously bored of mopping that whole place with no one to talk to. i was jogging; i can jog and talk at the same time. i didn't have to stop or slow down at all, just took out my 'buds and turned off my 'pod). all i'm saying here is that i came from the place of "refuse to talk, avoid eye contact, try to be invisible" and got to the threshhold of "looking at and talking to one other: it's what people do." the gym is a funny place for socializing, for lots of reasons (e.g. this entire thread)--and for many of the same reasons it's also a fine crucible for me to work on myself in non-physical ways.
it's all state of mind. i can change mine. (i rather like looking at people's faces instead of the floor all the time.)
re: OP: compliments are fine. they don't have to be conversation-starters. the fact that a person felt strongly enough about something to approach me and open his/her mouth about it is what says the most, to me. i'm no social butterfly, but i've never had a problem finding my words when i'm impressed, amazed, shocked, inspired, or moved somehow. you just really, really gotta move me to make me speak.0 -
or they could just be complimenting them on hard work. Seriously- STOP READING SO MUCH INTO IT- it's not ALWAYS like that.
So are people who are working hard but aren't clearly in shape getting complimented? I'm guessing nope.
[/quote]
yup.
People who are there and aren't just "fitting in a quick work out"- they know hard work when they see it. They can tell when someone is putting in the time. Even if they don't LOOK like a model- or a fitness buff- they know hard work when they see it. I worked at gym- I was friends with several different sets of clicks- and the most respectful- easy going- compliment giving people out there- were the body building/powerlifting meat heads. They know what hard work looks like. Even if it's fat and struggles- they can tell when someone is putting in the time.
You see these people for days and hours and hours. I see them more than I see my family and friends. We sweat and break and struggle under a collective weight that's THOUSANDS of pounds- silently - loudly- quietly- in our own world- together- heckling- or late at night- when the weather is ****- when the game is on.
You KNOW these people YOU SEE THEM. You all know what hard work looks like. and it isnt' pretty or fashionable- it's red sweaty facesa nd busted blood vessels. Angry missed lifts. It is what it is- but it comes in different shapes.
yes- lots of people get complimented. But 9/10 it isn't the "quick 40 minute job on the elliptical after my job" crowd- so you probably don't see it.0 -
My 2 cents:
I'm for it. It's all in how you communicate IMO.
Try to do it when someone's between sets, so as to not break his or her concentration.
If someone's in a bubble (listening to earbuds), don't interrupt them unless it's for a good reason (not just an idle compliment) (unless they're giving you the eye, smiling or otherwise sending out signals that THEY would like to talk to YOU).
If someone shows up in baggy sweats, he probably doesn't want you commenting on his physique.
But if he shows up in a muscle shirt (or she shows up wearing a midriff top and boy shorts) that person is flaunting it, and is fair game for commentary. To put it another way: you don't usually wear red underwear if you don't want anyone to see it.
It's the WAY you compliment that determines whether or not it comes across as creepy.
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Also for the record, I absolutely hate the people that do nothing but talk at the gym. And those couple of people who think it is their job to wander around the gym and talk with every person they see at the gym on a regular basis.
But on the other hand, I would love if someone approached me and gave me a short and simple compliment about my physique and/or lifting.
^this^. Short compliments in passing are fine. Chatterboxes are not. Are you there to work out or for social hour? And if you are on a machine and chatting away the whole time, you are not working hard enough.
You don't know what everyone's intentions are for being at the gym. Sometimes it is used as a huge social outlet.
And you can mind your own business when it comes to how hard I or anyone else is working. We all pay gym dues, get over it.
Let me add, I hate the people who do nothing but talk AND ARE HOGGING the squat rack, bench, etc. Usually the chatty ones are in a group and are "using" something I need to and it takes them FOREVER to finish! Otherwise, I could give a rat's *kitten* what you do at the gym. Just get the **** out of my way!0 -
You don't know what everyone's intentions are for being at the gym. Sometimes it is used as a huge social outlet.
From someone named "shutupandlift" lol
:laugh: :flowerforyou:0 -
I don't understand how you attend a gym regularly, and not socialize at least a little bit. I don't believe a single one of you when you say you don't notice other people. And I don't mean sexually. I notice the chubby girl who is no longer chubby and killing it in the gym now. I notice the loud douche bag screaming through his dead lifts. And I notice the newbie with bad form. And people notice me. Why? Cause we see each other at least 3 times a week, and more often than not, pass by each other and rotate equipment.
Ogling, is never ok. A "hell yeah, you killed it today," or a "beast mode *****, get it up!" Is always welcomed.
Nicely put!0 -
I give the nod of approval.
I would literally LOL if I saw someone do that!!0 -
I've given a compliment to a female who is now my workout buddy. Seen her squatting 165 lbs , I told her good **** lol and since then we became workout buddies!
I've received tons of compliments I thank them and keep going on with my business
Some females want me to show them how to workout or ask what my diet is like. I tell them as far as working out they have to pay me lol. 0 -
I have received and given compliments at the gym a lot. It's not creepy if it is said respectfully...for example a woman at my gym looked incredible. I asked if she was professionally competing and told her she looks great. We became friends after that. Just keeping it general is ok as long as they are not wearing headphones or in deep concentration. I know I don't like disturbance get I am at the gym and trying to focus or count ????????0
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I disagree respectfully.....Im not talking STALKING Im there to workout too but a compliment on how someone looks should be like a VISA UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED Havent you ever read the bble, BE KIND TO OTHERS its not about ME ME ME Im in my "bubble" as one lady posts....take a compliment and move on, be proud you are doing good work enough to make someone notice what if we were all stuck in a building together and HAD to chat with each other......would you stay in your "bubble" if you don't like interacting with your fellow man, STAY INSIDE in a COCCOON in a "bubble" don't answer the phone, work from home
ONE DAY you WILL be old and yes DECREPPED then youd only pray for the days when you looked good and someone would compliment you again
ENJOY life, don't take it so seriously.....make friends!!! DESPITE what you convince yourself, NONE of us have too many friends
case in point
I asked God once to keep me safe from all my enemies and I started losing friends
FRIENDS come and FRIENDS GO
DONT KID YOURSELF into thinking ALL I NEED is my husband or my wife and that's ALL I need in this world...ONE DAY...they could be gone, maybe not even leaving, MAYBE DYING!! THEN WHAT?
youre lonely, you need to talk, you call all the people who USED to try and be your friend, they've moved on...they don't want anything to do with you
just sayin0 -
I disagree respectfully.....Im not talking STALKING Im there to workout too but a compliment on how someone looks should be like a VISA UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED Havent you ever read the bble, BE KIND TO OTHERS its not about ME ME ME Im in my "bubble" as one lady posts....take a compliment and move on, be proud you are doing good work enough to make someone notice what if we were all stuck in a building together and HAD to chat with each other......would you stay in your "bubble" if you don't like interacting with your fellow man, STAY INSIDE in a COCCOON in a "bubble" don't answer the phone, work from home
ONE DAY you WILL be old and yes DECREPPED then youd only pray for the days when you looked good and someone would compliment you again
ENJOY life, don't take it so seriously.....make friends!!! DESPITE what you convince yourself, NONE of us have too many friends
case in point
I asked God once to keep me safe from all my enemies and I started losing friends
FRIENDS come and FRIENDS GO
DONT KID YOURSELF into thinking ALL I NEED is my husband or my wife and that's ALL I need in this world...ONE DAY...they could be gone, maybe not even leaving, MAYBE DYING!! THEN WHAT?
youre lonely, you need to talk, you call all the people who USED to try and be your friend, they've moved on...they don't want anything to do with you
just sayin
:huh: :huh: :huh: :huh:
You mad bro?0 -
I disagree respectfully.....Im not talking STALKING Im there to workout too but a compliment on how someone looks should be like a VISA UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED Havent you ever read the bble, BE KIND TO OTHERS its not about ME ME ME Im in my "bubble" as one lady posts....take a compliment and move on, be proud you are doing good work enough to make someone notice what if we were all stuck in a building together and HAD to chat with each other......would you stay in your "bubble" if you don't like interacting with your fellow man, STAY INSIDE in a COCCOON in a "bubble" don't answer the phone, work from home
ONE DAY you WILL be old and yes DECREPPED then youd only pray for the days when you looked good and someone would compliment you again
ENJOY life, don't take it so seriously.....make friends!!! DESPITE what you convince yourself, NONE of us have too many friends
case in point
I asked God once to keep me safe from all my enemies and I started losing friends
FRIENDS come and FRIENDS GO
DONT KID YOURSELF into thinking ALL I NEED is my husband or my wife and that's ALL I need in this world...ONE DAY...they could be gone, maybe not even leaving, MAYBE DYING!! THEN WHAT?
youre lonely, you need to talk, you call all the people who USED to try and be your friend, they've moved on...they don't want anything to do with you
just sayin
:huh: :huh: :huh: :huh:
You mad bro?
maybe he's decrepped.0 -
So....
I have come full circle from my original post. I had originally said 'leave me alone, I am here to work out, notice my ear-buds and the Scorpions music leaking out'.
I did a little social experiment today when I went with the people that I see all of the time. Chatted with 3 that I see all of the time and all 3 were glad to chat briefly between sets.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am NOT going to turn in to the 'mayor of my gym' but it was an interesting social experiment.
Best!0 -
So many negatives. A blind approach is always awkward. You could always try it another way. Ask about her diet and exercise program. When she asks why?, tell the truth. You admire the success she appears to be enjoying and would like to know her secret. I see nothing wrong with that.
Couldn't agree more with this!!0 -
Alright maybe i'm a freak in this whole conversation.
I think as much as people say "oh i'm uncomfortable with myself etc etc. and I wouldn't want someone complimenting me..." I think everyone enjoys it. It's a small ego boost. As long as the compliment is not overly done what wrong with it? A nice "hey that was awesome just though i'd let you know" is sweet and sufficient. Sometimes people have ulterior motives I get you but in the end it really doesn't matter?
If a creepy individual is like "hey........................how you doing I like what i'm seeing blah blah" - that's a creep but hey compliment! small weird ego boost.
I know I like to compliment people especially if I see people who are really working hard and you see a gain that's sick. Any kind of accomplishment should be noticed. I do not compliment big burly bro grunters. I do compliment women and men of all kinds.
When I compliment men i'm like "Hey that was kinda cool could you show me that?" They're pretty willing to talk and help
When I compliment women - Normally i'll compliment shoes because i'm obsessed with shoes. I'll also comment on the badassery of women. I recently complimented a lady that i saw that was killing some pull ups and i'm fairly certain i gawked because of how marvelous it was. I went up to her and was like "That.....was awesome. How did you do that and how can i do that!" She was totally cool about it.
I also make sure to never take more than 2 minutes of a person's time because like everyone has said here (mine as well) that your time is precious.
Also in fairness - I have been complimented in the gym and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I would rather people be more open in the gym than angry sour pusses.
Meow.0 -
Well I've generally turned into one of these people that really doesn't give a **** what people think when I talk!
I would say something to her, not over do it come off like a lesbian! I'd ask her what she's doing and what weight she was before.
Who knows she might have been really overweight and you saying something would have made her feel so much better. I think it's best to just say what you think, there's too many hidden opportunities and " I should have and what if" situations!!
Just do it, just say "sorry, I hope you don't mind I just wanted to tell you that you look great, what have you been going?"
I don't think it's creepy, it is if a guy came up and said it. Id be calling a few mates then.. Haha!0 -
Everyone is different. I am very introverted and keep to myself and would probably feel awkward if someone complimented me at the gym. Some people adore praise and compliments and it really motivates them!0
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Everyone is different. I am very introverted and keep to myself and would probably feel awkward if someone complimented me at the gym. Some people adore praise and compliments and it really motivates them!
Absolutely true!!0 -
I give the nod of approval.
HAHA! Love this!0
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