Food posts on FaceBook- am I being mean?

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  • wild_wild_life
    wild_wild_life Posts: 1,334 Member
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    don't make it sound like you were doing a 'public service', unless you really were being totally nice.. but yeah if you pointed their weight out and dictated to them the calorie content and fat content i'd say for sure it was kinda mean and inappropriate.

    It was something on the order of..." Funny these recipes don't include nutritional info, but I found that this is 459 calories per serving with 45% of your daily saturated fat allowance, 91 g carbohydrates,,," I may even have added a smiley face. I NEVER refer to the shape the person is in. I don't want to make people feel bad about themselves; I had an Ex who did that so I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end. I wanted to let them know what that recipe might do to their bodies.

    Change "your" to "my" in the above sentence and it is very slightly better. You have a right to say that those calories do not fit into your daily goal. It crosses a line to say that they do not fit into someone else's.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    don't make it sound like you were doing a 'public service', unless you really were being totally nice.. but yeah if you pointed their weight out and dictated to them the calorie content and fat content i'd say for sure it was kinda mean and inappropriate.

    It was something on the order of..." Funny these recipes don't include nutritional info, but I found that this is 459 calories per serving with 45% of your daily saturated fat allowance, 91 g carbohydrates,,," I may even have added a smiley face. I NEVER refer to the shape the person is in. I don't want to make people feel bad about themselves; I had an Ex who did that so I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end. I wanted to let them know what that recipe might do to their bodies.

    Change "your" to "my" in the above sentence and it is very slightly better. You have a right to say that those calories do not fit into your daily goal. It crosses a line to say that they do not fit into someone else's.

    ^^^ this is a good point, as it makes a difference, i.e. it starts being about what *I'm* eating, not about what other people are eating.

    OP you asked if what you did was mean, well we don't know your intentions, but what you're posting does come across as judgemental and a little condescending.

    Regarding the part of your post that I put in bold............. these recipes won't do any harm to their bodies. Not eaten once in a while. Yep, eating them day in day out then they may well contribute to obesity and related problems, but you can't assume that just because someone has posted a recipe on facebook that they eat like that constantly.

    If you really believe that eating something like this just once is going to harm someone, then your own attitude towards food needs some consideration. If you're assuming that the people posting the recipes eat like that constantly to the point that they're damaging their health, then that's a presumption, and quite a judgemental one. Even if the person posting it is obese, the same applies, because this may be a treat/cheat/free meal as part of a fat loss eating plan. You can't assume you know everyone else's business (e.g. whether they're on a fat loss eating plan or not, or what they should be eating if they are) or that because they ate one high calorie food one time that they're in a downward spiral of overeating and obesity. It's these assumptions that really annoy people and make what you post come across as judgemental. Even if it wasn't intended that way. (and as I said, if you really believe that eating something like that once can harm someone, then your relationship with food is off, not theirs). And even when someone is in a downward spiral of obesity and overeating, well-meaning posts on facebook criticising their eating habits isn't usually what makes them decide to become healthy.

    Sometimes in life there's no nice way to give unsolicited advice, especially when there's a bunch of assumptions that go along with that unsolicited advice. So it's often better to wait for someone to ask for advice before you give it. Then if they don't like the advice they get, it's their issue to deal with.
  • Cre8veLifeR
    Cre8veLifeR Posts: 1,062 Member
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    My Pinterest "foodie" stuff is FULL of fattening droolicious recipes lol. There's even a recipe for chocolate chip cookies stuffed with oreos. Yep. I made them for a kids party we were going to and the kids (and moms) LOVED them! Nothing wrong with things in moderation!

    oreo-stuffed-chocolate-chip-cookie-recipe-21499-1301016853-36_zps261c7fc5.jpg
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    My Pinterest "foodie" stuff is FULL of fattening droolicious recipes lol. There's even a recipe for chocolate chip cookies stuffed with oreos. Yep. I made them for a kids party we were going to and the kids (and moms) LOVED them! Nothing wrong with things in moderation!

    oreo-stuffed-chocolate-chip-cookie-recipe-21499-1301016853-36_zps261c7fc5.jpg

    give me the recipe!!!
  • melindafritz1976
    melindafritz1976 Posts: 329 Member
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    yes you a re being mean
    deal with it
    you are th e one doin g healthy lifestyle not them
    eat some freaking chocolate-
    exercise it off
    i am doing healthy lifestyle annd post all kind of recipe and food posts
    that doesnt make anyone a foodie either
  • Cre8veLifeR
    Cre8veLifeR Posts: 1,062 Member
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    My Pinterest "foodie" stuff is FULL of fattening droolicious recipes lol. There's even a recipe for chocolate chip cookies stuffed with oreos. Yep. I made them for a kids party we were going to and the kids (and moms) LOVED them! Nothing wrong with things in moderation!

    oreo-stuffed-chocolate-chip-cookie-recipe-21499-1301016853-36_zps261c7fc5.jpg

    give me the recipe!!!

    Here ya go: http://www.bakerella.com/my-kind-of-stuffing/
  • mjsmamma
    mjsmamma Posts: 137 Member
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    I would really like to see people posting healthy recipes!!!! I see a lot of 'check out this site' or 'this site for healthy recipes', but those sites have so many recipes and who knows which are good? I would be thrilled to see a healthy recipe post, say around 4pm each day so I wouldn't have to decide what's for dinner tonight or tomorrow night, as I try to plan my meals for the day.
    PS Those eclair bars....NOM NOM in my dreams right now ;-)
  • LRoslin
    LRoslin Posts: 128
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    It would have been different if they had asked "Does anybody know what the nutritional facts for this recipe would be?" or "I wonder how many calories are in this?!" But since nobody asked, and you volunteered without them asking, you're pushing information on them they probably didn't want. I'm sure they knew at a certain level that the recipes weren't healthy! Nobody can look at a casserole laden with cheese or a really decadent dessert and think it's diet food. So yes, you were being somewhat rude and insulting.

    Much like when my seven year old was taking the candy out of his Christmas stocking and my mother in law (who thinks he is heavy) declared, "Oh my, XX, if you eat all that candy, you'll gain weight!" For the love of Pete, it was Christmas, kids get candy in their stocking for Christmas, and he is bright enough to know he's not going to get to eat it all at one go. She was just being rude and insulting.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,039 Member
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    I learned early on that if one is successful for any period of time with a healthy lifestyle, I needed to wait to be asked if anyone wanted health advice. I actually enjoy seeing the different foods /recipes people post. It really doesn't bother me. But if it did, I would just unfollow a friend without blocking them. You can also hide posts by friend from timeline so you don't have the overzealous foodie/politiker/whatver showing up on your news lead.

    To each their own. But I am definitely going to make that chocolate eclair pie fro my family for a special occasion
  • amandakev88
    amandakev88 Posts: 328 Member
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    don't make it sound like you were doing a 'public service', unless you really were being totally nice.. but yeah if you pointed their weight out and dictated to them the calorie content and fat content i'd say for sure it was kinda mean and inappropriate.

    It was something on the order of..." Funny these recipes don't include nutritional info, but I found that this is 459 calories per serving with 45% of your daily saturated fat allowance, 91 g carbohydrates,,," I may even have added a smiley face. I NEVER refer to the shape the person is in. I don't want to make people feel bad about themselves; I had an Ex who did that so I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end. I wanted to let them know what that recipe might do to their bodies.

    Change "your" to "my" in the above sentence and it is very slightly better. You have a right to say that those calories do not fit into your daily goal. It crosses a line to say that they do not fit into someone else's.

    this.

    they didnt ask for it. i have personally been at the other end of it when my cousin [i told him what it sounded like when he offered up unsolicited food advice... he is a nurse though and was blabbering on about a study. i had also previously expressed interest in learning about stuff.. whatever] and it feels very very crappy to be offered up food advice you didn't ask for. i hadn't even posted a recipe! its very hurtful, and gets the mind racing.

    but yeah if you were trying to do a 'public service' say 'oh *i* would never be able to eat that. it'd never fit in my calorie goals.." takes the emphasis off them while still getting to say what you want to about the high calorie content.

    i get what you were aiming for with this, that it probably wasnt as bad in your head as it sounded in theirs.. just having had it happen to me in the past, its never as 'friendly' as you think it is.

    im sure they forgot about it shortly thereafter, but regardless. having a junky treat every once in awhile isn't really going to hurt anybody.

    and like the pinterest foodie said.. ive pinned a few insane recipes to my board. never made em but boy do they look fun for a cheat day!
  • Crateria_
    Crateria_ Posts: 253 Member
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    My Pinterest "foodie" stuff is FULL of fattening droolicious recipes lol. There's even a recipe for chocolate chip cookies stuffed with oreos. Yep. I made them for a kids party we were going to and the kids (and moms) LOVED them! Nothing wrong with things in moderation!

    oreo-stuffed-chocolate-chip-cookie-recipe-21499-1301016853-36_zps261c7fc5.jpg
    Mother of god...
  • _jessicamarie_
    _jessicamarie_ Posts: 35 Member
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    So, I finally got tired of (some) of my FB friends who post almost nothing but recipes on FB. And not just ANY recipes. You know the kind I mean- bar cookies covered with half an inch of frosting, casseroles loaded with bacon and cheese, something called "millionaire spaghetti pie"... sadly, the people who post these recipes really need to eat less of this stuff- they're all overweight. And every one of these recipes starts with "Hit 'Share' so this will be saved on your timeline so you won't lose it." and they comply. Now I don't wanna get all preachy on FB, but about a week ago I decide to look up the nutritional info on one of these concoctions. Umm, if you really do divide the 13 X 9 X 5 pan contents into 15 pieces, one Banana Nut Brownie with cream cheese frosting has 459 calories and 48% of the recommended max for saturated fat. And who eats just one when the rest of the pan is staring at you and the first one was so good?

    So, I posted that info, just as a public service and all... and did that for 2 more particularly egregious recipes I've seen since then. One friend got all defensive and said that it was OK as an occasional treat.. which is how she replied when I commented on some cheese/bacon/egg casserole thing she posted at Christmas.

    Disclosure: I do like some of that stuff, but my tactic is to go to a place where I can get ONE serving (e.g., a good bakery), take it home, enjoy every single calorie and fat gram, then go back to my usual good habits. No way I'd let piles of that stuff live in my kitchen.

    So- how do YOU deal with FaceBook Foodies?



    I can't stand those "Share this recipe to save it on your wall!!" posts. I have an aunt who posted that kind of crap all the time and it drove me bonkers. I finally asked her if she'd heard of Pinterest, where she could actually save and organize recipes rather than just offer free advertisement for these pages who just want more followers. The recipes slowed down significantly after that. :)
  • twixlepennie
    twixlepennie Posts: 1,074 Member
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    My Pinterest "foodie" stuff is FULL of fattening droolicious recipes lol. There's even a recipe for chocolate chip cookies stuffed with oreos. Yep. I made them for a kids party we were going to and the kids (and moms) LOVED them! Nothing wrong with things in moderation!

    oreo-stuffed-chocolate-chip-cookie-recipe-21499-1301016853-36_zps261c7fc5.jpg

    give me the recipe!!!

    Here ya go: http://www.bakerella.com/my-kind-of-stuffing/

    Just book marked recipe and I'll be making these next week :smooched:
  • redversustheblue
    redversustheblue Posts: 1,216 Member
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    don't make it sound like you were doing a 'public service', unless you really were being totally nice.. but yeah if you pointed their weight out and dictated to them the calorie content and fat content i'd say for sure it was kinda mean and inappropriate.

    It was something on the order of..." Funny these recipes don't include nutritional info, but I found that this is 459 calories per serving with 45% of your daily saturated fat allowance, 91 g carbohydrates,,," I may even have added a smiley face. I NEVER refer to the shape the person is in. I don't want to make people feel bad about themselves; I had an Ex who did that so I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end. I wanted to let them know what that recipe might do to their bodies.

    Sorry OP, but I think that sounds pretty rude and passive aggressive. Plus, you make it sound like they're going to eat one piece of this and just balloon up overnight. Personally, I love to look at these pictures and I may make one, but probably not. Just because they post them doesn't mean they're actually going to make or eat them. In the future just hide them unless they ask for opinions, which they probably won't.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    OP, you're out of line. I feel you on the notion that yes, the obesity epidemics affects us all. But shaming folks via recipes on facebook is like trying to solve world hunger by cleaning your plate.




    Heck yeah, I'd rather continue being fat than denying myself some pleasures in life.

    If somebody told me that the only price I had to pay to get, and remain, fit and lean was to give up all my favorite foods I would sign up in a mofo minute.

    It's food. There is so much selection. NOTHING it worth my health and self esteem. There ain't a damn dish in the universe worth that.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    I would never say anything to someone on fb about the recipes they choose to post. I will copy the recipe and share with a group of like-minded friends so we can all share in the horror of it together, and I am not a foodie by any means. I should note that I never get anything on my newsfeed that looks as deliciously awesome as that chocolate eclair pie, I get stuff that looks like this*:

    sammich.jpg

    *Not an actual recipe, but the best visual representation of the "Dear god, wtf IS that? Why? Why?" reaction that generally accompanies the recipes I get.

    Looks like mayo-heavy Russian salad with meat, cheese, and bread. All things I love, and which are totally awesome together. Judge away! Haha.

    No judgement here. It actually looks good to me too.
  • marylorrainecox
    marylorrainecox Posts: 12 Member
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    I might suggest they try Pinterest as a better way to share their recipes. That way you are less likely to see it. I use Pinterest, but I look for healthy recipes.
  • Zoeybird_2012
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    To each their own. I would never judge anyone else by what they choose to eat. I would just post healthy recipes or ignore the recipes they do post.