As a guy I wanted to know what it was like as a woman...
Replies
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When I was in the neighborhood of dating, I did originally try to use Internet dating engines. Finding a nice Japanese man in my neck of the woods is like a needle in a hay stack.
I love the term "dating engine." It sounds so..... serious, and mechanical.0 -
LOL I wouldn't exactly call being a guy that has difficulty getting a date being a member of a privaleged class.
Oh. Maybe you should do a little reading on the topic. It's clear you never, ever have.
Maybe drop the beef with the guy little buddy.
He was a bit a bit bitter in his first reply and since then has brought up valid points and counter points.0 -
You made guys (like myself) look bad who do/have done online dating
But i get the point
if you have ever been that douche who sends those disgusting pervy messages and/or have created a fake profile, then you did that to yourself. If you are not that guy, then you have no worries.
Well nothing to worrie then i guess.
My motto is, don't do things to other people you wouldn't want them to do to you as well
But this story makes it look like all guys are creeps on internet dating sites
I met my GF in online dating, but it took me about 4 months to finally ask her to meet me
if anyone automatically assumes, based off this thread that all guys are like that, then that says more about them than anything and they should probably not do online dating. There are crap guys and ladies everywhere. In real life or online. But, there are also good people in both, too.0 -
little buddy.
Well done.0 -
When I was in the neighborhood of dating, I did originally try to use Internet dating engines. Finding a nice Japanese man in my neck of the woods is like a needle in a hay stack.
I love the term "dating engine." It sounds so..... serious, and mechanical.
It's srs bsns. I like to think my trigger finger for the ignore button on sites like that was pretty strategic and fluid.0 -
Eh. I kind of agree with him. Those are just some examples.Let's be honest here people. What can you really go off of online? Some information on a profile that could be correct, or could be made up. A picture that could be real or fake. Conversations that very few people would even attempt to have in real life. Websites that pay employees to keep users on their sites. Bots. If someone is really looking to start a long lasting, honest relationship, online is not the place to do it. Just have fun and take it for what it is. A tool to help people feel connected with other people.
Ok, just curious, where would you suggest, this day in age for a nice person to meet other people?
Libraries, concerts, bars, workplace, supermarket, friends house party, etc. Just off the top of my head.
I'm 36, not 18, so house parties? lol. With the exception of the grocery store, I don't really go to those places and at the grocery store to get my food and get out of there.
And I don't go to "house parties," but I do go to get-togethers at friends' homes and there are often people there I never met before. A friend of a friend who I got into a discussion with on Facebook offered to set me up with a friend of his (I wasn't single, so had to turn it down).
I had a horrid online dating experience overall. I really think, despite being able to read a profile, you miss a lot of important things that you get in person. Body language is underrated.
I realize for a lot of people, especially those of us who are no longer in school, it's tough meeting people -- even just new friends! -- so I don't judge anyone for doing it. I just think it's more difficult that way.
One thing I've observed watching my friends online date is there are a LOT of men on those sites who will take them out, be all wonderful and date them pretty seriously for months and then suddenly decide, "Oh, I just realized I'm not ready for a long-term relationship."
I mean, this happens A LOT!
hmm, sounds familiar.... of course it happens, but I think those things get talked about way more than the good. Meh.
Right, and it's not limited to online. In college, I got dumped by a guy who used the excuse that he was pining away for a girl he met when he was an exchange student in Germany. Then a month later, I saw him at a frat party with a girl from my writing class. MMhhmmm
Men will be men, no matter where you meet them. :laugh:0 -
This is a pretty accurate description of my experience with online dating. I am currently on a dating website but I don't have a picture on my profile, and even then I still get some creepy messages. Some guy messaged me asking if I wanted a "cuddle buddy", to which I replied "you don't even know what I look like!", and then he replies with "can I see a picture?" SMH.
OK yeah, that wouldn't be my style if I was a single man, but really, is it that bad?! You don't put a pciture up, and then when someone contacts you, your defensive reply is to say "you don't even know what I look like!", and he agrees, and asks if he can see what you look like. Perfectly reasonable. It doesn't sound creepy to me. So, you have a profile on the site, and then when someone contacts you, you complain? I don't get it at all!
SImmer down! I don't have a problem with people contacting me, but it is creepy to be approached for sex - especially when you don't even have a picture up. It's like these guys would sleep with anyone or anything. That's what I have a problem with.0 -
I think this is a HELLA-huge assumption if you're implying it's that we're "unhappily" married and looking to jump ship if that's what you're implying. I just think the topic is interesting. My marriage is doing fine, thanks...perfect no but no marriage is.
Also if you're not single this subject just isn't for you. You got out of the pool, your opinion on the temperature of the water is pretty meaningless to those of us still swimming.
I don't see why not, the topic is interesting so I think that I'll stick around.
Thanks
When a married guy in his 40's finds the topic of dating so interesting I can pretty much fill in the blanks for myself.0 -
Eh. I kind of agree with him. Those are just some examples.Let's be honest here people. What can you really go off of online? Some information on a profile that could be correct, or could be made up. A picture that could be real or fake. Conversations that very few people would even attempt to have in real life. Websites that pay employees to keep users on their sites. Bots. If someone is really looking to start a long lasting, honest relationship, online is not the place to do it. Just have fun and take it for what it is. A tool to help people feel connected with other people.
Ok, just curious, where would you suggest, this day in age for a nice person to meet other people?
Libraries, concerts, bars, workplace, supermarket, friends house party, etc. Just off the top of my head.
I'm 36, not 18, so house parties? lol. With the exception of the grocery store, I don't really go to those places and at the grocery store to get my food and get out of there.
And I don't go to "house parties," but I do go to get-togethers at friends' homes and there are often people there I never met before. A friend of a friend who I got into a discussion with on Facebook offered to set me up with a friend of his (I wasn't single, so had to turn it down).
I had a horrid online dating experience overall. I really think, despite being able to read a profile, you miss a lot of important things that you get in person. Body language is underrated.
I realize for a lot of people, especially those of us who are no longer in school, it's tough meeting people -- even just new friends! -- so I don't judge anyone for doing it. I just think it's more difficult that way.
One thing I've observed watching my friends online date is there are a LOT of men on those sites who will take them out, be all wonderful and date them pretty seriously for months and then suddenly decide, "Oh, I just realized I'm not ready for a long-term relationship."
I mean, this happens A LOT!
hmm, sounds familiar.... of course it happens, but I think those things get talked about way more than the good. Meh.
Right, and it's not limited to online. In college, I got dumped by a guy who used the excuse that he was pining away for a girl he met when he was an exchange student in Germany. Then a month later, I saw him at a frat party with a girl from my writing class. MMhhmmm
Men will be men, no matter where you meet them. :laugh:
Exactly, same for the girls who only want money, etc... there are good and bad people everywhere.0 -
Eh. I kind of agree with him. Those are just some examples.Let's be honest here people. What can you really go off of online? Some information on a profile that could be correct, or could be made up. A picture that could be real or fake. Conversations that very few people would even attempt to have in real life. Websites that pay employees to keep users on their sites. Bots. If someone is really looking to start a long lasting, honest relationship, online is not the place to do it. Just have fun and take it for what it is. A tool to help people feel connected with other people.
Ok, just curious, where would you suggest, this day in age for a nice person to meet other people?
Libraries, concerts, bars, workplace, supermarket, friends house party, etc. Just off the top of my head.
I'm 36, not 18, so house parties? lol. With the exception of the grocery store, I don't really go to those places and at the grocery store to get my food and get out of there.
And I don't go to "house parties," but I do go to get-togethers at friends' homes and there are often people there I never met before. A friend of a friend who I got into a discussion with on Facebook offered to set me up with a friend of his (I wasn't single, so had to turn it down).
I had a horrid online dating experience overall. I really think, despite being able to read a profile, you miss a lot of important things that you get in person. Body language is underrated.
I realize for a lot of people, especially those of us who are no longer in school, it's tough meeting people -- even just new friends! -- so I don't judge anyone for doing it. I just think it's more difficult that way.
One thing I've observed watching my friends online date is there are a LOT of men on those sites who will take them out, be all wonderful and date them pretty seriously for months and then suddenly decide, "Oh, I just realized I'm not ready for a long-term relationship."
I mean, this happens A LOT!
hmm, sounds familiar.... of course it happens, but I think those things get talked about way more than the good. Meh.
Right, and it's not limited to online. In college, I got dumped by a guy who used the excuse that he was pining away for a girl he met when he was an exchange student in Germany. Then a month later, I saw him at a frat party with a girl from my writing class. MMhhmmm
Men will be men, no matter where you meet them. :laugh:
Exactly, same for the girls who only want money, etc... there are good and bad people everywhere.
Truth! :drinker:0 -
I certainly don't think all men are like that. I work with men, I have male family members, close male friends and I've had my share of boyfriends.You made guys (like myself) look bad who do/have done online dating
But i get the point
if you have ever been that douche who sends those disgusting pervy messages and/or have created a fake profile, then you did that to yourself. If you are not that guy, then you have no worries.
Well nothing to worrie then i guess.
My motto is, don't do things to other people you wouldn't want them to do to you as well
But this story makes it look like all guys are creeps on internet dating sites
I met my GF in online dating, but it took me about 4 months to finally ask her to meet me
if anyone automatically assumes, based off this thread that all guys are like that, then that says more about them than anything and they should probably not do online dating. There are crap guys and ladies everywhere. In real life or online. But, there are also good people in both, too.
There just seems to be a plethora of them on the Internet.0 -
I think this is a HELLA-huge assumption if you're implying it's that we're "unhappily" married and looking to jump ship if that's what you're implying. I just think the topic is interesting. My marriage is doing fine, thanks...perfect no but no marriage is.
Also if you're not single this subject just isn't for you. You got out of the pool, your opinion on the temperature of the water is pretty meaningless to those of us still swimming.
I don't see why not, the topic is interesting so I think that I'll stick around.
Thanks
When a married guy in his 40's finds the topic of dating so interesting I can pretty much fill in the blanks for myself.
Exactly.
There are several people on this thread that are currently in relationships, but the ones that agree with him seem to strangly slip his focus. LOL!0 -
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if anyone automatically assumes, based off this thread that all guys are like that, then that says more about them than anything and they should probably not do online dating. There are crap guys and ladies everywhere. In real life or online. But, there are also good people in both, too.
Can't argue with this :happy:
i think you find creeps in and off the internet... Both male as female
Yes, you do and as long as your careful with personal information when starting to initiate conversation with someone, I would think online would be safer in the beginning than face to face if someone turns out to be hella creepy.0 -
LOL!
We don't need to put much effort in finding perverts.
We unfortunately still need to put effort to find guys who want to meet us because they actually like us.
THIS ^0 -
You made guys (like myself) look bad who do/have done online dating
But i get the point
if you have ever been that douche who sends those disgusting pervy messages and/or have created a fake profile, then you did that to yourself. If you are not that guy, then you have no worries.
Well nothing to worrie then i guess.
My motto is, don't do things to other people you wouldn't want them to do to you as well
But this story makes it look like all guys are creeps on internet dating sites
I met my GF in online dating, but it took me about 4 months to finally ask her to meet me
if anyone automatically assumes, based off this thread that all guys are like that, then that says more about them than anything and they should probably not do online dating. There are crap guys and ladies everywhere. In real life or online. But, there are also good people in both, too.
So, you are saying that there are just as many crappy people in real life as there is online? Call me skeptical. The comfort of the internet is a prime spot for wierdos. Real life holds you accountable a bit more. Yes, there are good people in both. Harder to spot them on the internet.
There are just as many IRL, but they're far less likely to say what they're thinking because they'll get slapped/kicked in the nuts/beat up/etc.
This is largely offset by the ease of hitting the "block user" button online.0 -
I certainly don't think all men are like that. I work with men, I have male family members, close male friends and I've had my share of boyfriends.You made guys (like myself) look bad who do/have done online dating
But i get the point
if you have ever been that douche who sends those disgusting pervy messages and/or have created a fake profile, then you did that to yourself. If you are not that guy, then you have no worries.
Well nothing to worrie then i guess.
My motto is, don't do things to other people you wouldn't want them to do to you as well
But this story makes it look like all guys are creeps on internet dating sites
I met my GF in online dating, but it took me about 4 months to finally ask her to meet me
if anyone automatically assumes, based off this thread that all guys are like that, then that says more about them than anything and they should probably not do online dating. There are crap guys and ladies everywhere. In real life or online. But, there are also good people in both, too.
There just seems to be a plethora of them on the Internet.
I was responding to gustaaf, because he seemed worried people (guys) in his position (dating online) would be viewed in a skewed manner, because of the article.0 -
I'm just going to leave this right here. This will answer every question a man will have when it comes to online dating.
http://incelrage.com/
That butthurt guy with no avi really needs to check this out.0 -
LOL!
We don't need to put much effort in finding perverts.
We unfortunately still need to put effort to find guys who want to meet us because they actually like us.
THIS ^
Yeah so look in your friend zone. That's where the guys that like you are.0 -
Yeah, I just figure if they're out there in the real world, there have to be some good ones online, too. It's just a matter of finding them.
I certainly don't think all men are like that. I work with men, I have male family members, close male friends and I've had my share of boyfriends.You made guys (like myself) look bad who do/have done online dating
But i get the point
if you have ever been that douche who sends those disgusting pervy messages and/or have created a fake profile, then you did that to yourself. If you are not that guy, then you have no worries.
Well nothing to worrie then i guess.
My motto is, don't do things to other people you wouldn't want them to do to you as well
But this story makes it look like all guys are creeps on internet dating sites
I met my GF in online dating, but it took me about 4 months to finally ask her to meet me
if anyone automatically assumes, based off this thread that all guys are like that, then that says more about them than anything and they should probably not do online dating. There are crap guys and ladies everywhere. In real life or online. But, there are also good people in both, too.
There just seems to be a plethora of them on the Internet.
I was responding to gustaaf, because he seemed worried people (guys) in his position (dating online) would be viewed in a skewed manner, because of the article.0 -
You made guys (like myself) look bad who do/have done online dating
But i get the point
if you have ever been that douche who sends those disgusting pervy messages and/or have created a fake profile, then you did that to yourself. If you are not that guy, then you have no worries.
Well nothing to worrie then i guess.
My motto is, don't do things to other people you wouldn't want them to do to you as well
But this story makes it look like all guys are creeps on internet dating sites
I met my GF in online dating, but it took me about 4 months to finally ask her to meet me
if anyone automatically assumes, based off this thread that all guys are like that, then that says more about them than anything and they should probably not do online dating. There are crap guys and ladies everywhere. In real life or online. But, there are also good people in both, too.
So, you are saying that there are just as many crappy people in real life as there is online? Call me skeptical. The comfort of the internet is a prime spot for wierdos. Real life holds you accountable a bit more. Yes, there are good people in both. Harder to spot them on the internet.
I'm saying people are more bold to act that way online. Take that same guy(s) sending those pervy messages and put him in a grocery store, for example... do you really think he's going to walk up to her and say "hey baby, let's go get nasty?" No, because, most likely, he'll get smacked or pepper sprayed, etc. But, its the same people, be it online or in real life. I mean, unless they are a computer generated program, they are still real people behind the screens.0 -
I was responding to gustaaf, because he seemed worried people (guys) in his position (dating online) would be viewed in a skewed manner, because of the article.
There is that danger, but this is an issue that needs greater awareness. This is really all part of the general objectification of women that goes on. From pre-puberty to old age, women are largely judged and treated by society based on their sexual attractiveness, and one offshoot of that is guys thinking of women as sexual objects. That's where this behavior comes from.
Any time a woman is appointed as a CEO, or wins a tennis tournament or Olympic gold, receives a Nobel prize, whatever. Any time a woman is recognized for something other than being hot, millions of men immediately judge her based on his desire to bang her. Heck, one of the first questions Genie Bouchard was recently asked on court at the Australian open after a big win against Ivanovic was who she would like to date. It's so totally ingrained in society most people don't even recognize it.0 -
I'm just going to leave this right here. This will answer every question a man will have when it comes to online dating.
http://incelrage.com/
That butthurt guy with no avi really needs to check this out.
Bad link.0 -
Let's be honest here people. What can you really go off of online? Some information on a profile that could be correct, or could be made up. A picture that could be real or fake. Conversations that very few people would even attempt to have in real life. Websites that pay employees to keep users on their sites. Bots. If someone is really looking to start a long lasting, honest relationship, online is not the place to do it. Just have fun and take it for what it is. A tool to help people feel connected with other people.
Ok, just curious, where would you suggest, this day in age for a nice person to meet other people?
Libraries, concerts, bars, workplace, supermarket, friends house party, etc. Just off the top of my head.
The 90's called and asked for their meeting places back.
I found the OP's story disturbing. I figured a few weirdos, but I was surprised at the sheer "weirdo volume." Anyway, you may dismiss my following comment because "I'm out of the pool," but I'll say it anyway. I met my wife the old-fashioned way. She lived within a block a way at college and went to the same church and we've been married 15 years. So, I've thought about that and it turns out that factors influencing who you meet and who you become attracted to, romance, has an established scientific component, which is proximity. You fall in love with people who are nearest to you. See, e.g., http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_attraction and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_attraction. I say maximize your chances by using the science. And use the situations that are part of your ordinary routine: neighbors, classmates, coworkers, workers at the company down the hall, people you see at the cafe, church, volunteer organization, hobby, yes, even the gym. why not? Ok, the old 37 year old married dude will shut up now.0 -
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You made guys (like myself) look bad who do/have done online dating
But i get the point
if you have ever been that douche who sends those disgusting pervy messages and/or have created a fake profile, then you did that to yourself. If you are not that guy, then you have no worries.
Well nothing to worrie then i guess.
My motto is, don't do things to other people you wouldn't want them to do to you as well
But this story makes it look like all guys are creeps on internet dating sites
I met my GF in online dating, but it took me about 4 months to finally ask her to meet me
if anyone automatically assumes, based off this thread that all guys are like that, then that says more about them than anything and they should probably not do online dating. There are crap guys and ladies everywhere. In real life or online. But, there are also good people in both, too.
So, you are saying that there are just as many crappy people in real life as there is online? Call me skeptical. The comfort of the internet is a prime spot for wierdos. Real life holds you accountable a bit more. Yes, there are good people in both. Harder to spot them on the internet.
I'm saying people are more bold to act that way online. Take that same guy(s) sending those pervy messages and put him in a grocery store, for example... do you really think he's going to walk up to her and say "hey baby, let's go get nasty?" No, because, most likely, he'll get smacked or pepper sprayed, etc. But, its the same people, be it online or in real life. I mean, unless they are a computer generated program, they are still real people behind the screens.
I agree. Obviously it is the same people online or in real life. I'm just saying it would be harder to find "one of the good ones" online because even if it was someone you were interested, they are more apt to say different things or act differently due to the comfort of anonymity. That's it. Not trying to judge.
I didn't think you were judging, just giving your thoughts on the matter. That said, I think anyone in real life or online can say anything to get what they want.0 -
I agree. Obviously it is the same people online or in real life. I'm just saying it would be harder to find "one of the good ones" online because even if it was someone you were interested, they are more apt to say different things or act differently due to the comfort of anonymity. That's it. Not trying to judge.
How much experience do you have with meeting people online?
I would caution you against making assumptions with no experience.0 -
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I think it goes both ways.
I've done online dating (met my husband on E-Harmony) and had weird experiences and outright aggressive sexual messages, but I have also known guys who had the same thing.
i know of one guy who went on one (1) date with a woman and she became obsessed with him. Sending him text messages daily with stuff like "it's cold today sweetie wear a sweater" She barely knew him and he certainly hadn't decided to make her his exclusive girlfriend.
Crazy exists online and in real life. Always has. It doesn't matter where you go to meet people you will encounter the same things0 -
You made guys (like myself) look bad who do/have done online dating
But i get the point
if you have ever been that douche who sends those disgusting pervy messages and/or have created a fake profile, then you did that to yourself. If you are not that guy, then you have no worries.
Well nothing to worrie then i guess.
My motto is, don't do things to other people you wouldn't want them to do to you as well
But this story makes it look like all guys are creeps on internet dating sites
I met my GF in online dating, but it took me about 4 months to finally ask her to meet me
if anyone automatically assumes, based off this thread that all guys are like that, then that says more about them than anything and they should probably not do online dating. There are crap guys and ladies everywhere. In real life or online. But, there are also good people in both, too.
So, you are saying that there are just as many crappy people in real life as there is online? Call me skeptical. The comfort of the internet is a prime spot for wierdos. Real life holds you accountable a bit more. Yes, there are good people in both. Harder to spot them on the internet.
this
I have to say, I have met some weirdos in real life, but its nothing like what you come across online.
Online dating has the comfort of anonymity and a huge volume of people seeking something.
I ventured into online dating on POF and it was short lived. Even though my profile clearly stated I was not interested NSA sex etc...The volume of emails I was getting that started off being (or quickly turned) sexual in nature was too much.
Even if I ignored and blocked, they just kept coming.
Even got one that said he was hung like a goat and would love to play with my teats... lol ...:huh:
A guy IRL will be less likely to walk up to you and say they want to see you naked and or would love to "unload" all over you. I mean it could happen, but chances are slimmer.
Im not saying it's right, but I get that the creeps do it because it has given them success at some point.
That being said I met my Fiancé online...on FB No more dating sites for me! lol0
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