Ladies, how do you feel about being a stay at home mom/wife?

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Replies

  • bperkins88
    bperkins88 Posts: 357 Member
    I would like to be a stay at home mom, but I dont think that's possible. My body is completely wrong :/
  • ImpishVanity
    ImpishVanity Posts: 224 Member
    If you don't think raising children is contributing to society then you probably shouldn't have kids at all XD
  • ImpishVanity
    ImpishVanity Posts: 224 Member
    I would like to be a stay at home mom, but I dont think that's possible. My body is completely wrong :/

    You could be a stay at home dad :P
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    Although I think its totally up to the individal family as to what to do, I do find it a little sad that someone said back there they didn't consider raising children to be contributing to society in any way :/

    Huge ditto! Have you NOT seen some of the young adults these days?? Trust me, staying home raising 3 thoughtful respectful young men IS contributing to society!
    Exactly, without well raised people (no matter who it is that raised them) there is no society.

    Working parents are still raising their children.
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
    Although I think its totally up to the individal family as to what to do, I do find it a little sad that someone said back there they didn't consider raising children to be contributing to society in any way :/

    Huge ditto! Have you NOT seen some of the young adults these days?? Trust me, staying home raising 3 thoughtful respectful young men IS contributing to society!
    Exactly, without well raised people (no matter who it is that raised them) there is no society.

    Working parents are still raising their children.
    Didn't say they weren't. In most cases theres more than one person involved in raising an individual. All I said was that raising a member of society is contributing to society :)
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    This is very interesting. I do not have children - but I do plan on starting in the next 3 years. I have thought and debating about this SO much. I think i figured I would go to PT...but then for me, that means shift work....so I dont know. Its like mon - fri full time...or pt shift work. But omg I feel like I would go NUTS working full time and then just being a mom when I get home. At least if i was PT i could work, have me time and be a mom. Lots to think about for sure. I try not to.
  • tigerblue
    tigerblue Posts: 1,526 Member
    I'm a working mom, and I love my job, but it is tough!!!

    Basically working moms have two jobs--we still do all the stuff SAHMs do, plus work 30, 40, or 50 hours in addition.

    I would choose to be a SAHM if our finances would permit.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Although I think its totally up to the individal family as to what to do, I do find it a little sad that someone said back there they didn't consider raising children to be contributing to society in any way :/

    Huge ditto! Have you NOT seen some of the young adults these days?? Trust me, staying home raising 3 thoughtful respectful young men IS contributing to society!

    Because those of us who work aren't raising respectful children?

    200_s.gif
  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
    I guess I grew up the best of both worlds. My mom and dad owned their own business (a motel) and I lived with them while they stayed home and worked. The downside to having parents that work at home though is that your house is always an office or a place of business, too, and whatever quality time you are having can and will be interrupted by the outside world. I'm sure it was the same for many of the ranching and farming kids in the area: home is not only a home but a place of work, not just for the parents but for the kids. The kids also work as soon as they are able to.
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
    To each their own, but it is absolutely not for me - I spent way too long getting an education and building a successful career to give it up. And I want to be a productive member of society, I would not be ok with my husband supporting me and not contributing myself.

    Stay at home moms definitely contribute! Just saying...
  • ImpishVanity
    ImpishVanity Posts: 224 Member
    Although I think its totally up to the individal family as to what to do, I do find it a little sad that someone said back there they didn't consider raising children to be contributing to society in any way :/

    Huge ditto! Have you NOT seen some of the young adults these days?? Trust me, staying home raising 3 thoughtful respectful young men IS contributing to society!

    Because those of us who work aren't raising respectful children?

    200_s.gif

    I think they meant that someone who doesn't think raising a child is contributing to society probably isn't focused on trying to raise a child then. There is nothing wrong with being working parents.
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
    I'm not a mother, but I don't think I'd want to be a stay at home mom.

    I'm also in school to be a teacher though, so I'd see my brats anyways. (:
  • mamma_nee
    mamma_nee Posts: 809 Member
    I have been a SAHM since I remarried 14 years ago. I love being home when the kids get home from school , and I wouldn`t have it any other way . Granted I did work crazy hours with 2 to 3 jobs per day from my high school years( 13.5 yrs old) till my 35th birthday Basically I had no childhood, no fun nights out with friends etc . I saved,saved,saved enough to be able to say I am sorta retired !! I put in my work hours. My house was paid off till I remarried and we wanted a bigger house so we are back having a mortgage now but we are still okay on the 1 salary . Staying home, raising the kids, cleaning house, cooking,maintaining the pool, and gardening and all is no picnic either but I love it.

    I do have an a couple of online shops on ETSY but I do that for fun so I do not count it as work from home lol Its the workaholic in me :)
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I'm sure everyone is meaning well, but it's important to try to NOT insult other people's life choices when defending your own.

    OF course staying home with your children is contributing to society.

    AND yes, working parents do "raise" their children and even often raise "respectful" children.
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
    I'm sure everyone is meaning well, but it's important to try to NOT insult other people's life choices when defending your own.

    OF course staying home with your children is contributing to society.

    AND yes, working parents do "raise" their children and even often raise "respectful" children.
    I don't think anyone here suggested otherwise, or at least that wasn't what I was trying to imply. Raising a member of society is contributing to society, whether you are doing other work outside the home or not.
    Of course I can't speak for everyone else, but I believe the people who agreed with my post are having the same thoughts.
    I just didn't really agree with saying you aren't contributing to society if you aren't working outside the house, raising a member of society is contributing no matter what!

    Hopefully that is more clear :)

    ETA: Probably even more clear now I fixed all my typos LOL
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    Agree, BusyRae
    SAHMS have a career. Not everyone can stay home with their children. Some choose to work. Loving parents contribute to society!
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
    AND, being a SAHM is just as hard as being a working mom. I can say this because I've done both.
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
    I have been a SAHM since I remarried 14 years ago. I love being home when the kids get home from school , and I wouldn`t have it any other way . Granted I did work crazy hours with 2 to 3 jobs per day from my high school years( 13.5 yrs old) till my 35th birthday Basically I had no childhood, no fun nights out with friends etc . I saved,saved,saved enough to be able to say I am sorta retired !! I put in my work hours. My house was paid off till I remarried and we wanted a bigger house so we are back having a mortgage now but we are still okay on the 1 salary . Staying home, raising the kids, cleaning house, cooking,maintaining the pool, and gardening and all is no picnic either but I love it.

    I do have an a couple of online shops on ETSY but I do that for fun so I do not count it as work from home lol Its the workaholic in me :)
    That is awesome :D good on you
  • hstoblish
    hstoblish Posts: 234 Member
    I 100% support women who decide to take this route - it's not an easy life (but then again, working isn't either). Just please don't think those of us who choose to work are doing something wrong. I work a job with good work/life balance and my little one loves her daycare and her extra time with her grandmother is really important to all of us. I am very lucky to work in my chosen field and happy that my husband and I both make equal contributions to the household financially and in terms of parenting and housekeeping. My husband is pretty rock solid though so not all working mothers are as lucky as I am.

    Basically, I feel so incredibly lucky in life and happy with my hours and work/life balance, but it can be really really hard when people who are able to stay at home and choose to do so, say things like "I just don't see why you'd have kids and then not raise them yourself."

    But if you're a gold star stay at home mom who is nice to other moms, then awesome. Absolutely awesome!
  • Madilyn1992
    Madilyn1992 Posts: 11
    Hi, I'm a stay at home mom and sometimes it is REALLY boring but I would suggest staying home until the kid is about 2 years old and then get back into work or have another child. Kids need there moms around for the first few years for all the cuddles and breastfeeding they can get.
  • WhisperAnne
    WhisperAnne Posts: 453 Member
    I'm sure everyone is meaning well, but it's important to try to NOT insult other people's life choices when defending your own.

    OF course staying home with your children is contributing to society.

    AND yes, working parents do "raise" their children and even often raise "respectful" children.

    Well said
  • Mrsallypants
    Mrsallypants Posts: 887 Member
    You could be a single mother and raise them yourself. Be the protector, provider, nurturer, and homemaker all in one. That seems to be the norm these days.
  • wendywalrus
    wendywalrus Posts: 4
    I am a stay at home wife and mum of three. I wanted to be there to raise my children not somebody else. I have enjoyed being there for them 100 percent and the two eldest friends wish their mums were their for them too, also ive seen numerous blogs online stating this they hate going home to empty homes sometimes for long periods of time, having to make food which is usually the wrong kind. A nice warm hearty dinner I think is a nicer option. I get the pleasure of seeing my babies grow in every way, school concerts and always great to see them after school when they greet you with their days news. What other job could have such great rewards and love. I know a few people that prefer to work and think the option is easier and less stressful and would say its a lot harder to stay at home and say they cannot manage without the money. Children are far more important than money to me and that I would sacrafice a million times ova. Some would argue they need money but lifestyle is a choice and materalistic things well come nowhere near the joy children will give you. I had my children not for someone else to bring them up. I also know a few people that have regreted not being there for their children choosing money first cos you can never get the yrs back and they go by so quick. It is very rewarding and I think the best job in the world.
  • wanna_b_there
    wanna_b_there Posts: 295 Member
    I did it. Best years of my adult life, and I'm a career women. It was extra nice to have those years at home. The business world was still there when I was ready to go back.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    <
    My contribution to society!:happy:
  • stephross88
    stephross88 Posts: 846 Member
    I love it, I work from home and also get to be home with my son when he isn't in school. I am old fashioned that way. :)
  • jullang
    jullang Posts: 3
    I have been a SAHM for 16 years and you defiantly have the good with the bad. We have 7 children the oldest being 16 and the youngest is 2 (and oh is he 2!) Anyway, I do have a floral business on the side where I do flowers for weddings and other events. Even though I only have 2-6 events a year but it is a great way to have that sense of professionalism here and there. I also do volunteer with my kids organizations they are involved in. Financially it is really tough. I have learned to scale back on things especially Christmas and birthdays. I do have to say that it is nice to have a husband who works from home twice a week and 2 teenage daughters that are pretty helpful when they need to be. I consider my situation ideal for our family. Like anything, what is best for your family can be totally different than everybody else’s.
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    I'm a SAHM and will be for a few more years until my youngest enters school. My husband and I decided before we got married that one of us would stay home, and due to our choice of careers it ended up being me.

    Caring for my children and home does make me a productive member of society, much like the people who run daycares and clean buildings as their employment are productive members of society. The value of the job is not diminished simply because I don't collect a salary for doing it.

    My husband and I do not have his money and my money, it's our money. It was our money when I worked, it's our money when I stay at home, and it's our money if our situation changes and I'm in the workforce while he stays at home. We have an equal partnership and I don't have to ask him for money.

    OP - Make the decision that works well for you and your family, and don't let anyone else make you feel inferior for that choice, no matter what you choose.
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    I've been a stay-at-home mom for 5.5 years (I have a 5.5 year old and 3 year old). I was an elementary school teacher before I had kids...also, worked in daycare for years.

    For me, I WANTED to be a sahm before I had kids. It is a finite time in your life and your kids' lives. I wanted to spend this window of time with my kids. I felt like I was the best "first teacher" for my kids.

    It can be very difficult. Exhausting, emotionally draining...it can also be very isolating, b/c you aren't likely to know people who have kids the same age as yours when you first stop working. It is also very rewarding. I have been told by woman (with teenage kids) who were sahms, then returned to work, that being a sahm was the best time of their lives (now that they look back at it).

    If you can afford to do so, you should try it and see if it is for you. It isn't for everyone. Just like working and trying to balance work and kids isn't for everyone either.
  • IMYarnCraz33
    IMYarnCraz33 Posts: 1,016 Member
    I am a SAHM of 2--have been for almost 9 years. My hubby hasn't had a problem with my choice to be.
    BUT... I am wanting to start my own business so I can help supplement our income.

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