What should I get my GF for Valentines Day?

Allegorically the humor is similar to that one time when I went on a double date to the movies with a girl and after we parked I was like "ill catch up with you guys in a sec" and I put on like 15 sprays of cologne and then we went to the movies and supposedly I was like the affable dopey overly trying to impress her but failing in a cute way kind of guy for a moment.

Its kind of the same with this where I supposedly fail, but in a cute way with all those excess cliche gifts. But in the end its just supposed to come off as flattering.

But wait, isn't "failing" very "beta"? You are going to act "beta" to get sympathy and pity attention from the girl? Doesn't that go against all your "alpha" philosophies? She's supposed to be attracted to your extreme narcissism. Why don't you just buy her a single rose and ask what she's cooking you for dinner?

Correction: faux-beta.

So pretending to be "beta" is really "alpha"? Fascinating.

"OMG guess what my boyfriend did for Valentines day loool"

Umm, my guess is there won't be an LOLOLOLOLOL after her comment and it will be a bit more scathing and to the tune of "Guess what my &*$(@*%&#*& a-hole boyfriend did for Valentines day.":explode: :mad:

I never was much into the whole day anyway but if a guy I was dating came over with a car full of cheesy stuffed animals, some thoughtless chocolates and other dumb trinkets thinking it was funny I would fail to see the joke in it and would assume that he thinks our entire relationship is just one big stupid joke.

What's wrong with being a man and getting her a nice bouquet of flowers and taking her out to a nice dinner? Why try and make a "joke" out of something that she's probably taking seriously?

Exactly. Especially considering the fact that she's 18 and still in high school. Girls this age go nuts for Valentine's day. She most definitely won't be bragging to her friends about stuffed animals and and other joke gifts. She is expecting something cute and romantic like flowers, Edible arrangements, a necklace, bracelet, or earrings followed by dinner.

Well a necklace, bracelet, or earrings is too far and too serious. Like I said before she is kinda shy about it and doesn't want it to be to high pressure or formal. Same with the food I would "lick off her body" its too presumptuous and sexual pressure.

The whole thing actually required the lighthearted vibe. Its not a matter of making a mockery of the holiday or our love. Its a matter of easing the tension while still making it memorable and an indicator of how much I care in hindsight.

So I am simultaneously deflating any awkward tension while also demonstrating how much she really means to me.

This is exactly why you should try finding someone your age. She's 18 years old for goodness sake. You are in completely different stages of life. That is if you are actually 27 years old because looking at your picture (if that is even you), you look like you're about 16 to be honest.

You say buying her a necklace, bracelet, or earrings is too serious yet throughout this whole thread you've been going on and on about how much you love her. Love is serious. So um, you are contradicting yourself and just making it even more obvious why someone your age shouldn't be with someone her age. You say she "loves" you but thinks getting a necklace, bracelet, or earrings from you is too serious. Sounds to me like you're more serious about her than she is about you.

Woah woah woah...

Am I sensing ageism here?

Which the hypocrisy I find ridiculous because if I said something sexist about females not being able to lift all he'll would break loose but instead you choose to do this to me?

Hey listen, there are many reasons why it makes sense.

Can you give me a reason why it's a bad idea? Do you honestly have any real practical reasoning for shunning it?

Would you rather she is with some creepy guy her age?

Why not me? What did I do wrong? I'm not a bad person. In fact I'm a good person to show her things and the ways of the world.

Ageism? Not at all. Being 27 and dating a girl who is 18 is much different than being 40 years old and dating a 27 year old.

She's BARELY experienced life. She needs to learn the ways of the world herself. Not from you.

She hasn't graduated high school.

She's never been to college.

She's never held a career.

She's never made her own money (unless she has a job now which would limit her to a certain number of hours since she is in HS still).

She most likely hasn't paid any bills except maybe her cell phone bill.

You're not on the same emotional or sexual levels. This will cause real problems in the relationship that she's most likely not ready for considering she thinks it's too much just getting jewelry from you.

Whether its you, Jack, Jim, or John, I'd be telling them the same thing I'm telling you. I find you creepy for wanting to be with an 18 year old.

"OMG guess what my boyfriend did for Valentines day loool"

Umm, my guess is there won't be an LOLOLOLOLOL after her comment and it will be a bit more scathing and to the tune of "Guess what my &*$(@*%&#*& a-hole boyfriend did for Valentines day.":explode: :mad:

I never was much into the whole day anyway but if a guy I was dating came over with a car full of cheesy stuffed animals, some thoughtless chocolates and other dumb trinkets thinking it was funny I would fail to see the joke in it and would assume that he thinks our entire relationship is just one big stupid joke.

What's wrong with being a man and getting her a nice bouquet of flowers and taking her out to a nice dinner? Why try and make a "joke" out of something that she's probably taking seriously?

Exactly. Especially considering the fact that she's 18 and still in high school. Girls this age go nuts for Valentine's day. She most definitely won't be bragging to her friends about stuffed animals and and other joke gifts. She is expecting something cute and romantic like flowers, Edible arrangements, a necklace, bracelet, or earrings followed by dinner.

Well a necklace, bracelet, or earrings is too far and too serious. Like I said before she is kinda shy about it and doesn't want it to be to high pressure or formal. Same with the food I would "lick off her body" its too presumptuous and sexual pressure.

The whole thing actually required the lighthearted vibe. Its not a matter of making a mockery of the holiday or our love. Its a matter of easing the tension while still making it memorable and an indicator of how much I care in hindsight.

So I am simultaneously deflating any awkward tension while also demonstrating how much she really means to me.

This is exactly why you should try finding someone your age. She's 18 years old for goodness sake. You are in completely different stages of life. That is if you are actually 27 years old because looking at your picture (if that is even you), you look like you're about 16 to be honest.

You say buying her a necklace, bracelet, or earrings is too serious yet throughout this whole thread you've been going on and on about how much you love her. Love is serious. So um, you are contradicting yourself and just making it even more obvious why someone your age shouldn't be with someone her age. You say she "loves" you but thinks getting a necklace, bracelet, or earrings from you is too serious. Sounds to me like you're more serious about her than she is about you.

Woah woah woah...

Am I sensing ageism here?

Which the hypocrisy I find ridiculous because if I said something sexist about females not being able to lift all he'll would break loose but instead you choose to do this to me?

Hey listen, there are many reasons why it makes sense.

Can you give me a reason why it's a bad idea? Do you honestly have any real practical reasoning for shunning it?

Would you rather she is with some creepy guy her age?

Why not me? What did I do wrong? I'm not a bad person. In fact I'm a good person to show her things and the ways of the world.

Ageism? Not at all. Being 27 and dating a girl who is 18 is much different than being 40 years old and dating a 27 year old.

She's BARELY experienced life. She needs to learn the ways of the world herself. Not from you.

She hasn't graduated high school.

She's never been to college.

She's never held a career.

She's never made her own money (unless she has a job now which would limit her to a certain number of hours since she is in HS still).

She most likely hasn't paid any bills except maybe her cell phone bill.

You're not on the same emotional or sexual levels. This will cause real problems in the relationship that she's most likely not ready for considering she thinks it's too much just getting jewelry from you.

Whether its you, Jack, Jim, or John, I'd be telling them the same thing I'm telling you. I find you creepy for wanting to be with an 18 year old.

i totally didn't read all this. I bet she still has a curfew. You should try to meet a lady your age. If you have things in common with her, either she is mature....or you are the opposite.

Also I didn't realize there were "sexual levels"

What level are you at btw?

Also I didn't realize there were "sexual levels"

What level are you at btw?

You said she wasn't comfortable having food licked off of her. With that being said, she obviously wouldn't be comfortable having sex. Hence why you two are on different levels sexually. Unless you are a virgin.

Too many pages to read, but has anyone suggested a restraining order?

Too many pages to read, but has anyone suggested a restraining order?

Maybe put it in a really nice, ornate frame. Le mot juste!

I didn't bold that. It must've been someone else or it was you. But I'm glad someone did bold it because it totally does matter. She doesn't need YOU to teach her the ways of the world. The ways of the world can't necessarily be learned. They are experienced over time.

Ok calm down I bolded it. You caught me.

No but seriously. You still don't explain why it shouldn't be me?

You say she doesn't need me. Yet you have no idea anything about her.

How can you make such a blanket conclusion?

It shouldn't be you because you're 27 and she's 18. I already mentioned you two are in completely different stages of life and if you can't see that, you're oblivious and in denial. Find a woman your own age.

Correction: I said she doesn't need you TO TEACH HER THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Anyone else starting to wonder if "shy" is a euphemism for "invisible"?

I didn't bold that. It must've been someone else or it was you. But I'm glad someone did bold it because it totally does matter. She doesn't need YOU to teach her the ways of the world. The ways of the world can't necessarily be learned. They are experienced over time.

Ok calm down I bolded it. You caught me.

No but seriously. You still don't explain why it shouldn't be me?

You say she doesn't need me. Yet you have no idea anything about her.

How can you make such a blanket conclusion?

It shouldn't be you because you're 27 and she's 18. I already mentioned you two are in completely different stages of life and if you can't see that, you're oblivious and in denial. Find a woman your own age.

Correction: I said she doesn't need you TO TEACH HER THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Yeah but I don't understand how two stages is a problem.

I just don't understand how you don't realize the compatibility factor? You still don't give any reason why two people should be the same age?

Have you ever seen that movie Aladdin?

I get that you have a very vivid imagination and think you're some prince living in the enchanted forest... I hate to burst your bubble, but life isn't what you see in the movies.

I already gave many reasons. But since you failed to comprehend them, I'll state them again:

At 27 I assume you have graduated high school, may or may not have gone to college, own a home, pay your own bills, have a career started. Basically, you hold a lot of responsibilities, while she doesn't.

At 18, she hasn't graduated high school, she hasn't gone to college, she doesn't live by herself, she doesn't pay her own bills, she doesn't have a career. She's pretty much a child.

I don't understand how you don't see the problem here.

handcuffs...enough said