Men, how do you feel about SAHM?

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I think it's interesting that people think they can hire or pay someone to take the place/role of a parent.

If I said I was going to hire/pay someone to be a sibling to my kids, I'd be laughed out of the room.

My daycare provider is NOT taking over my role as a parent.

So when your kid(s) is at daycare and wants to cuddle up with, or falls and wants someone to kiss their owie, or hits or is hit by another kid, or needs 'sharing' explained to them, you come over and do that?

No, but I also wouldn't do that when they are at school either. I'm okay with my daycare provider or a teacher, or school nurse comforting my children when I'm away. That doesn't make them their parent. The are providing care for my child while I work. My role as a parent includes much more than just care and maybe comfort from 8-5.

No problems here for SAHM or SAHDs.

I think its ok for a women to be a sSAHM but for a male to be a SAHD... that's too beta for me............ go work.

I think its ok for a women to be a sSAHM but for a male to be a SAHD... that's too beta for me............ go work.

You clearly didn't read the whole thread.

There are two males who are SAHDs who posted.
And jeepers, do you they sound like wonderful men, husbands, and dads.

You, not so much.

Being in the dating world, I would not date a SAHM. I would much prefer to date someone earning a living to support herself and kids instead of relying on the "system"

And every single, SAHM said "Amen".

So you are saying you wouldn't have a problem dating an unemployed man? Most women have that as one of the first things they look for.

My husband was unemployed when I met him. He'd saved a whole lot of money and was taking time off to sort out what he wanted to do next. Making assumptions about people, like all single SAHM being on assistance, makes you miss out on wonderful people.

Touche. I was unemployed when I moved in with my ex-wife, though I just quit my job to move provinces to be with her and graduated from Uni three days earlier and was in my early 20's, not mid 30's like I am now.

I would argue that a single SAHM that has time to date, could probably at least get a part time job. I wouldn't have a problem if it was a short term thing, but when someone has as their profession SAHM on a dating site, I will not contact them. It is my loss if they would have made a wonderful partner, but that is a risk I am willing to take.

Being in the dating world, I would not date a SAHM. I would much prefer to date someone earning a living to support herself and kids instead of relying on the "system"

And every single, SAHM said "Amen".

Definitely!

Would you date an unemployed man?

Yes I would. My current BF became unemployed while we were dating. Someone's employment status is not a good assessment of their character in this economy. That's just me though. *shrug* :ohwell:

became unemployed while dating is different than unemployed when you met.

But, having it as a goal? Can't stop facepalming.

This is making me lol over and over.

I would love to be stay-at-home-mum when I have my children, but I do not think it would be very affordable for us. It will be lucky for us that my parents can look after our children (when we have them - hopefully soon!) and I can still work. Right now my husband has good job, his job pay for all our expenses and bills and our dinner dates we like. My job we save the money, in case something happen to him or to me, we can't work, and for our children when we have them, they can go to good schools and do many sports and music, these things... I think too that children will be expensive, so for now my husbands job is very good finanically for us, but with children this may change very quickly. Also, here in Ukraine maternity leave is only 126 days fully paid, and if I quit and not work anymore, then want to go to work again it is difficult, because mostly workplace does not like to higher woman older than 35, and for woman retirement age is 55, so it is become difficult to stop work then come to work again. Of course I could find a part-time job if my children are in school, like something in retail shop or restaurant maybe, but I spend my time and money to get masters degree, so I would not like to waste it either. It is good too, because I am a teacher, so my work hours would be the same as my childrens time in school, so mostly I would be there before and after school and weekends.
I am jealous that I do not think I will be able to be stay-at-home-mum for my children, at least for the first few years. I want that. I want to be with them every step, but it probably will not be very affordable. I think it is great: if it is affordable for you and you and your partner likes it and are happy, and the children are happy, then do it!
*Edited trying to fix some spelling: English is not my first language, sorry*

Your gripe sounds like a personal issue. It also seems as though you don't have children. Yes, a career outside of the home is nice. It isn't always the best option when you have children. If you have more than one child who is not of school age, childcare costs can be way more than your income. And having it as a goal? What the hell does it matter to you? You think that SAH parents are lazy slobs who do not work because they don't feel like it. It takes one hell of a person to sacrifice their goals/lives to be a parent as their career. I guess you probably hate day care providers, school teachers, etc. because why would you have a life goal of taking care of OTHER people's children. Okay, that was a far stretch, but who knows.

I do have a problem with your definition of stay at home mom. You told someone that they are not a stay at home mom because she goes to school/work while her children are in school. How is that not a stay at home parent? If your children are of school age, you have that time period to take care of your needs. However, whenever the children get home you have to tend to homework, studying, meal preparations, housework, etc. It makes a big difference if you get home at 2:30 with the children as opposed to 6:00 and try to accomplish all of those things. Have you ever thought about WHY someone may want to be a stay at home parent? Maybe their parents had to work two jobs to make ends meet. Whatever the reason, it is their business. I don't give a rats *kitten* if someone has the plan to be a stay at home mom. I don't like when people intentionally get pregnant for just anyone for the sole purpose of not having to work. But that is not specific to your complaint.

I believe that being a stay at home parent does not make you any less of a person than having a career outside of the home makes you a better person. I have an education. I have worked jobs with 70 hour work weeks and I traveled for a good bit of the time. Did I like it? Of course. But when you make the decision to bring a child into the world you are committing yourself to take care of this person. They are a priority. Not for them to just merely be a part off what YOU want in life. Like many others on here, I now own my own business, which I run from my home. I work my *kitten* off, but when my kiddo needs me I am in momma mode.

Do you want to know who I feel MORE sorry for? The women who would love nothing more than to spend a year or two at home with their children but cannot due to having to work. You truly miss out on so much. And I feel sorry for people like you. The ones who think that it is "cool" to come on here and start a thread directed towards MEN asking them how they feel about SAH moms. That didn't exactly go as you planned, did it?

Kudos to the men who respect their wives and what they do for their households, whether that is in the home or out. And Kudos to the men who are stay at home dads. The whole "dads can't do it like women" thing pisses me off even more, lol. I respect the hell out of people who spend time nurturing their kids and teaching them. So many people depend on teachers and care providers to do this (exclusively). My child went to day care when he was of that age. We didn't have a choice at that time. There several kids in my son's class who don't get help at home because their parents don't have time, won't make time, or can't make time. Whatever the reason, they are the ones who are suffering.

I think it's interesting that people think they can hire or pay someone to take the place/role of a parent.

If I said I was going to hire/pay someone to be a sibling to my kids, I'd be laughed out of the room.

My daycare provider is NOT taking over my role as a parent.

So when your kid(s) is at daycare and wants to cuddle up with, or falls and wants someone to kiss their owie, or hits or is hit by another kid, or needs 'sharing' explained to them, you come over and do that?

No, but I also wouldn't do that when they are at school either.

I wouldn't expect a 12 year old to asphyxiate themselves with a dry cleaning bag, so does that mean all kids should be left to play with them? Of course not, because a three year old doesn't have the same needs as a school-age kid.

I'm okay with my daycare provider or a teacher, or school nurse comforting my children when I'm away. That doesn't make them their parent.

I agree that it doesn't make them your kid's parent.

My wife has been a SAHM for the past 12 years. It works for us and our children. We have been blessed to not need the other income. Believe me when I tell you that the kids will be better for it if you are able to do it.

As always, I like to stir the pot, so.....

Parents elect to place their kids in the care of others while they work. With most people who work, when you get to work your car sits outside unused for 8 hours (again I said MOST PEOPLE, not everyone so don't go there)

So here's the question... .would you let someone use your car while you're at work? The answer for most would be "no". But we'll let others use (raise) our kids.

We're ok with that picture?

If you're going to stir the pot, you need a better analogy.

One that doesn't make you feel as guilty?

No, but one that makes more sense would do nicely, thanks.

i just can't stomach a child saying "I want to be a stay at home parent when I grow up". If it happens for the right reasons of nurturing and behavioural development concerns, then awesome. But having it as a goal. Can't stop facepalming.

I can't stomach someone who demeans and devalues others, because her ideals are different then others. As a SAHM, I actually spend an enormous amount of time trying to teach my daughter and my son, to not behave that way. Why? Well, I actually care about the sort of adults my children will turn out to be. Which is why I decided to be their most consistent role model, when I opted to stay home to raise them.

But, that's just me.

All that needs to be said.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vYmQs8bs1cY&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DvYmQs8bs1cY