Boyfriend dilemma
Replies
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no you aren't.
Don't make someone a priority, when to them you are only an option.
I love that. I think it's time I live by it.0 -
Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).
And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.
How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.
He's old school and will have sex with her but not sleep beside her? Cell phone technology? He can't call her once a week from a land line? LOL
Who has a landline anymore? I haven't had a landline in 10 years, and the one that is sitting here on my desk rarely gets used and never for personal phone calls.0 -
But this is what's so confusing!
He's inviting her out during the week to spend time with him AND his son. That doesn't sound married to me...
He asked her to live together, she said no.
He invited her to the movies, she said no.
She wants to talk during the week, he says no.
She wants him to stay over, he says no.
WTF?!
She's just not that into him. And he senses it, and is also probably not that into her.
Which is all cool....0 -
It seems very suspicious to me. If you have been with him for four years, you should talk through the week. Seems he is hiding something. Like a prior person said, he could be married or has another lady he is seeing. I would say don't waste your time if he isn't willing to compromise because he should want to see you happy.
But this is what's so confusing!
He's inviting her out during the week to spend time with him AND his son. That doesn't sound married to me...
He asked her to live together, she said no.
He invited her to the movies, she said no.
She wants to talk during the week, he says no.
She wants him to stay over, he says no.
WTF?!
When you put it that way, it is a WTF moment! He doesn't see his son very often and i feel like I am intruding. I go to the movies with him on the weekend. I have gone to the movies with him and his two sons at Christmas time.
Exactly this. If he wants you to spend time with him and his son, it's because he wants you to have a bigger part in his life. You just want it to be on your terms. But relationships don't work that way.0 -
Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).
And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.
How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.
I'm 49, he will be 59 (this week). He is very techno savvy, more than some youngsters I know. But I'm not even asking for a phone call. I know he's busy, I'm busy too. Just a text or an email. If I don't send one, I don't get one.
As for his and my bed, we are both comfortable in our own house, that is why I don't give him a hard time about not spending the night.0 -
Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).
And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.
How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.
He's old school and will have sex with her but not sleep beside her? Cell phone technology? He can't call her once a week from a land line? LOL
Who has a landline anymore? I haven't had a landline in 10 years, and the one that is sitting here on my desk rarely gets used and never for personal phone calls.
So he's old school and that's why he doesn't text but he doesn't have a landline so he can't call either. ...why can't he call from his cell phone? Because old school?0 -
It seems very suspicious to me. If you have been with him for four years, you should talk through the week. Seems he is hiding something. Like a prior person said, he could be married or has another lady he is seeing. I would say don't waste your time if he isn't willing to compromise because he should want to see you happy.
But this is what's so confusing!
He's inviting her out during the week to spend time with him AND his son. That doesn't sound married to me...
He asked her to live together, she said no.
He invited her to the movies, she said no.
She wants to talk during the week, he says no.
She wants him to stay over, he says no.
WTF?!
When you put it that way, it is a WTF moment! He doesn't see his son very often and i feel like I am intruding. I go to the movies with him on the weekend. I have gone to the movies with him and his two sons at Christmas time.
That is your hangup. After 4 years, you either integrate with his family as a couple or it's never going to work. If he invited you, it's not an intrusion. You are pushing him away as much as he is pushing you away. Maybe he's protecting himself.0 -
Are you overreacting... in my opinion, no.
I treat my booty calls better than your boyfriend treats you though.0 -
It seems very suspicious to me. If you have been with him for four years, you should talk through the week. Seems he is hiding something. Like a prior person said, he could be married or has another lady he is seeing. I would say don't waste your time if he isn't willing to compromise because he should want to see you happy.
But this is what's so confusing!
He's inviting her out during the week to spend time with him AND his son. That doesn't sound married to me...
He asked her to live together, she said no.
He invited her to the movies, she said no.
She wants to talk during the week, he says no.
She wants him to stay over, he says no.
WTF?!
When you put it that way, it is a WTF moment! He doesn't see his son very often and i feel like I am intruding. I go to the movies with him on the weekend. I have gone to the movies with him and his two sons at Christmas time.
Exactly this. If he wants you to spend time with him and his son, it's because he wants you to have a bigger part in his life. You just want it to be on your terms. But relationships don't work that way.
I've never looked at it that way. I just felt like I would be in the way. Thank you.0 -
It seems very suspicious to me. If you have been with him for four years, you should talk through the week. Seems he is hiding something. Like a prior person said, he could be married or has another lady he is seeing. I would say don't waste your time if he isn't willing to compromise because he should want to see you happy.
But this is what's so confusing!
He's inviting her out during the week to spend time with him AND his son. That doesn't sound married to me...
He asked her to live together, she said no.
He invited her to the movies, she said no.
She wants to talk during the week, he says no.
She wants him to stay over, he says no.
WTF?!
When you put it that way, it is a WTF moment! He doesn't see his son very often and i feel like I am intruding. I go to the movies with him on the weekend. I have gone to the movies with him and his two sons at Christmas time.
That is your hangup. After 4 years, you either integrate with his family as a couple or it's never going to work. If he invited you, it's not an intrusion. You are pushing him away as much as he is pushing you away. Maybe he's protecting himself.
I do integrate, had dinner with his brother, sister in law and son just this past Saturday. Had a great time.
But I think you're right, maybe we are pushing one another away.0 -
Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).
And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.
How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.
I'm 49, he will be 59 (this week). He is very techno savvy, more than some youngsters I know. But I'm not even asking for a phone call. I know he's busy, I'm busy too. Just a text or an email. If I don't send one, I don't get one.
As for his and my bed, we are both comfortable in our own house, that is why I don't give him a hard time about not spending the night.
Well honestly, after your last couple of posts, I think you are sending mixed signals and you are getting them right back. Get on the same page with him or move on.0 -
But was the meat for his cat?
My thought exactly.0 -
Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).
And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.
How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.
He's old school and will have sex with her but not sleep beside her? Cell phone technology? He can't call her once a week from a land line? LOL
Who has a landline anymore? I haven't had a landline in 10 years, and the one that is sitting here on my desk rarely gets used and never for personal phone calls.
So he's old school and that's why he doesn't text but he doesn't have a landline so he can't call either. ...why can't he call from his cell phone? Because old school?
He has a cell, no land line and not old school.0 -
:indifferent:
Hell I'm a guy and my first thought was "Have you met his wife?"0 -
:laugh::indifferent:
Hell I'm a guy and my first thought was "Have you met his wife?"0 -
:laugh::indifferent:
Hell I'm a guy and my first thought was "Have you met his wife?"
:laugh: :drinker:0 -
:indifferent:
Hell I'm a guy and my first thought was "Have you met his wife?"
haha, I met his ex wife, very nice person.0 -
:indifferent:
Hell I'm a guy and my first thought was "Have you met his wife?"
I didn't even get to finish reading the OP to him and he held up a hand, shook his head, and said "So what about the dude's wife? Do you think she's making a similar post about her husband is gone for hours at a time every weekend and won't call or text during that time?"0 -
This isn't a boyfriend. It's a booty call.
Sad but true.0 -
If you're asking this question, maybe you already know what the answer would be...
Put yourself in our shoes, and if you read this post and saw how a lady was being treated by her partner like this, wouldnt you advise to get out of it?
Do yourself a favour and value yourself higher. Walk away.0 -
people still IM?
huh.0 -
I wonder if I can talk my hubby into an arrangement like this only reverse.....Ill see you only during the week....Yeah Baby0
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This doesn't sound like a very good relationship there is definitely something wrong if you only see each other on weekends and do not communicate at all during the week after 4 years.... wtf???0
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Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).
And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.
How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.
I'm 49, he will be 59 (this week). He is very techno savvy, more than some youngsters I know. But I'm not even asking for a phone call. I know he's busy, I'm busy too. Just a text or an email. If I don't send one, I don't get one.
As for his and my bed, we are both comfortable in our own house, that is why I don't give him a hard time about not spending the night.
You're 49 years old? Is this more your 1st or 2nd long-term relationship you've been?0 -
people still IM?
huh.
:laugh:
My kids laugh about that too. Yahoo IM!0 -
He's married.
100% honest, that was my first thought.
same here. =/0 -
Yes. You are way too needy and clingy. Why not stop nagging and be happy this dude is around for the weekend. What more do you want?0
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so you all have been together since you were 8?
:laugh:0 -
Have you ever considered that this man is just really old-school and doesn't feel proper sleeping over? If he is going to share a bed with you, maybe he just wants it to be "your" bed (meaning yours and his) rather than "your" bed (meaning belonging just to you).
And I really think the communication during the week is more about him not liking cell phone technology.
How old are you? Are you both of the same generation? Because I'm seeing the problems in this relationship being more about generational gaps than him lacking interest.
I'm 49, he will be 59 (this week). He is very techno savvy, more than some youngsters I know. But I'm not even asking for a phone call. I know he's busy, I'm busy too. Just a text or an email. If I don't send one, I don't get one.
As for his and my bed, we are both comfortable in our own house, that is why I don't give him a hard time about not spending the night.
You're 49 years old? Is this more your 1st or 2nd long-term relationship you've been?
Married for 6 years, in a 3 year relationship immediately following my divorce then a year later in a 10 year relationship. I have lived alone since 1995, after my marriage I vowed never to live with a man again and I haven't. I would consider it now but I don't believe the right one has come along since then. Either that or I really like living alone.0 -
If you aren't happy with it, it may be time to move on. Its hard to change people to shape them the way that you want them, especially since he is more than middle aged.
Being in a relationship should be something that you enjoy. It shouldn't be something that stresses you out, or makes you worry.
I think you need a SERIOUS talk with him about it, and if things don't change, then maybe they never will.
Are you willing to live the rest of your life this way?0
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