Can you forgive a cheater?

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Replies

  • tlcarolinagirl
    tlcarolinagirl Posts: 1,700 Member
    I've been cheated on. I tried, really hard to forgive and forget. In fact, I spent years trying, but I can't forget and I'm not sure I forgive. I bump into the "other woman" sometimes and it sends me into rage again. It's like a dark cloud lingering over your head ready to cause a storm at any time...
  • Sexymissmeliss
    Sexymissmeliss Posts: 99 Member
    Idk if I can. I found out this week I was being cheated on and it's really tough. His cheating says more about his character than it does mine, but I still wonder if I had done something wrong. He disappeared with no explanation, which could be a good thing... Idk. Feeling embarrassed that I didn't see it. Now I must move past it so when the time comes for me to date again, I am not punishing a good man for this person's decisions...
  • sentaruu
    sentaruu Posts: 2,206 Member
    I've been cheated on.
    I don't tolerate it. once that trust is gone, the relationship is over
    I can forgive. I won't forget.
  • marvybells
    marvybells Posts: 1,984 Member
    nope.
  • Booksandbeaches
    Booksandbeaches Posts: 1,791 Member
    Forgiving is for me and my mental health. I'd forgive but won't forget or trust him again, so the relationship would be completely over.
  • burning2much
    burning2much Posts: 4,846 Member
    Never, but I can be a friend
  • krawhitham
    krawhitham Posts: 831 Member
    No forgiving, no forgetting. Out of my life in an instant.
  • I don't buy into "once a cheater, always a cheater" especially if afterwards you take the extra steps to talk about it, and seek relationship therapy if need be. There's a lot of factors to consider. If you've been together long-term 9/10 there's an underlying issue in the relationship that caused one person to be pushed away. Each situation is different. People are quick to say they'd leave, but you don't know until you're in the situation.
  • Snow3y
    Snow3y Posts: 1,412 Member
    Nope, won't forgive, won't forget.
  • jelie3110
    jelie3110 Posts: 433
    No.....I couldn't and I wouldn't want to, it shows such a lack of respect for your significant other to do something like that. I already told my husband that if he ever decided to do that he might as well pack his bag lol.
  • rowlandsw
    rowlandsw Posts: 1,166 Member
    Oh i probably would but i'd hold one heck of a grudge for the rest of their life and make sure to know i'm not trusting them fully. Actually knowing me i'd stick around to find a way to rub their nose in it. Not that i'm not the vindictive type or anything lol
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    No. I hold grudges. FOREVER.
  • Nope. I could forgive sure...but would not stay with them.
  • DJMIKEY1
    DJMIKEY1 Posts: 523 Member
    No. I hold grudges. FOREVER.

    I like the way you think.

    Never trust a liar or a cheater, my ex did both. She is dead to me.
  • 93nan
    93nan Posts: 130
    No.... once a cheater always a cheater!
  • plateaued
    plateaued Posts: 199 Member
    No. You can't forgive a cheater, because you can cheat on a forgiver.
  • bl1nk6
    bl1nk6 Posts: 175
    i think when people say it depends on the circumstances.. your making excuses for them . Your excusing their behaviour for them.

    i cant forgive it , i cant forget , can never trust them again.