My Boyfriend thinks I'm Fat

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  • PhillyPhatGirl
    PhillyPhatGirl Posts: 3 Member
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    Doesn't he love you for YOU? You are NOT fat. I've been in a relationship where my boyfriend started by calling me "chubby" (I was 5'6" and 140--sound familiar?). That was the beginning of the verbal abuse. Turns out he was an abusive controller and one of the best things I ever did was dump his sorry *kitten*.

    Now, at over 300 pounds, I have a husband who LOVES me. And I love him back. No "I love you despite your being fat/etc." NO. Just "I love you." And oh--I was 200 pounds when I married him.

    He's belittling you. Be careful--this could devolve into an even worse situation. Be careful, please.
  • kathivg
    kathivg Posts: 30
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    Yeah, you're gonna get hate because no man in his right mind would ever say what this loser said to the woman he loves and respects! Chubby and out of shape...I'd like to see a phot of the loser she calls her boyfriend - he's probably got more than 15 pounds round his middle, but that's "Okay" for men.

    If he thinks she's put on weight, that's fine, but she's got to make the decision for herself. If she decides to not lose the weight because she is happy with herself, then he should not let the door smack him in his *kitten* as he leaves...run along little boy.
  • DayDreamr_41
    DayDreamr_41 Posts: 32
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    I think you need to lose weight... HIS weight. Dump him. He sounds like an idiot. Sorry :/
  • dianeb613
    dianeb613 Posts: 121 Member
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    Tell him to take a hike.
  • pacsqueen
    pacsqueen Posts: 88
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    You seriously need a new boyfriend. If he doesn't love you the way you are thru thick and thin (pun intended!) then he is just a shallow bum. No one needs a shallow bum. I agree with DayDreamr_41- the only weight you need to loose is him.
  • lewis27m
    lewis27m Posts: 10
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    he is a wasteman :tongue: you should want to lose weight for your own reason not for someone else only weight you need to lose is him
  • Nin79
    Nin79 Posts: 1
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    Ouch.. That is super mean and crappy. I think noone deserves that. I WISH I was even close to 145.. Lol! My husband supports me 100% and always tells me that I'm beautiful to him. I don't think it's okay for him to tell you your "chubby".. Sorry. :(
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Tie him down and sit one his face until he agrees that you are perfect. That usually works best on men.
  • nursenelson
    nursenelson Posts: 295
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    troll post


    agreed!
    dear lord I WISH I was 135... or 140.... or 145....or 150.....or 155....or 160!
    My goal weight is 160!!!!
    I would be inside out if I was 140-145!
    I too am 5'6
  • fromtheghetto
    fromtheghetto Posts: 21
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    you need to be teabagged
  • rhinesb
    rhinesb Posts: 204 Member
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    My boyfriend thinks I am out of shape and chubby. I am 5'6" and weigh 140 pounds. At 145, he thinks I'm fat, and he can deal with it when I'm 135. Oh the things we do for love...

    Is this ok? I'm not sure whether to be upset about or agree with him. Its true i'm not at my most idea weight, but I eat healthy, do yoga all the time, and do the best I can with exercise for having a job that requires me to be sitting 9 hours a day.

    I used to be good with how I looked, but he really likes skinny girls and makes me feel like "I look good" is not as adequate as "I look like a sport's illustrated model."

    My husband has very similar standards to your boyfriend. When people suggest you might be a 'troll', they think this might be a joke post, because to them, the figures just don't add up: how could someone call YOU fat at THAT weight?

    Sadly, my DH (darling husband) did. Not only that, but he prodded the 'fat' bits until I cried. So I tried to lose weight for him: I lost it, and when he was still nasty to me, I gained it all back.

    His behaviour was awful, but I'm glad I never considered leaving him over it. Instead, I read Fat is a Feminist Issue and lost the weight for myself.

    And he didn't need to see the scales for me to know what weights he found me fat at. Once he said 'You WERE a bit podgy at Christmas,' when I'd been 60kg (132lb), which I blew up at him over, but if I get below about 120lb, he worries I'm too thin, so my window of attractiveness is rather narrow for him.

    The good thing is, I know I'm attractive to others when I'm not to him, so it has little effect on my overall self-esteem, but is not good for our relationship.
    wow...I actually was not going to post to this post again but after reading this it literally makes me nauseous and makes me want to throw up. I could not live with someone like that. It physically makes me ill just just reading this.

    No seriously I keep thinking about it and want to puke.

    I really don't even know what to say except that this makes me sick. I don't actually know what is worse...that he does this to you or that you are ok with it. But hey it is all ok though because you read a book.
  • MelMelMiller
    MelMelMiller Posts: 54
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    My boyfriend called me Fat and now we're no longer together. No man who claims to love you would hurt you like that. Would make you feel less about yourself. And btw I'm 5'5" and the most I've ever weighed was 141 and now I'm at 132 and it keeps going down, I'm losing the weight for me and losing him as a boyfriend for me. :)
  • stepgeiger12
    stepgeiger12 Posts: 9 Member
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    I just do not know what to do I know I am large but I keep trying to lose weight and I end up giving up but I do not overeat and rarely eat processed food my bf tells me I am fat and has said that he already gave me a year to lose wait but I am a quitter I hate feeling this way :(
  • FitnessLover001
    FitnessLover001 Posts: 188 Member
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    First I think we should set a ground rule: If anyone in a relationship is their current weight because they DON'T eat healthy, and indulge in bad foods all the time, and don't care about their health, then I don't really think it's a problem for him to point out that you should do something about it, just like it wouldn't be a problem for you to look at him and say the same thing! THAT is love: helping others when they need to be helped because you want what's best for them.

    However, you sound like a healthy person, so to me, it's him saying stuff to you because he wants you to be what he wants, not what you are. I don't say dump him if you really think you love him, but I'd definitely confront him about how he goes on and on.

    And just for the record, no one deserves to be called fat.
  • miraille_wagner
    miraille_wagner Posts: 6
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    Yep. Same story here.

    My boyfriend said I am fat and even at 5 ft 8, 135 I was fat for him. In result I am now ''fatter'', because this kinda frustration acts counterproductive to me. I am now 149 and we dont make sex. I am just not attracted to him, because he likes anorexic girls, not even girls with some tone and he is obviously not enough attracted to me. I am waiting for the right momet to end the story.

    On the other hand, even now on 149 pounds I am desired by other sexy man! I have a beautiful face and worked as a make up and hair model last year. I wear a M size and am 37-25-37 inches. Also... he doesnt like me if I am not on high heels. I think the only problem with me is that I was too stupid to catch such a dumb boyfriend :D

    But now I look for the right one and he definitely is sporty, sexy, intelligent and likes CURVES.
  • bambishealth
    bambishealth Posts: 134 Member
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    Tell him to kick rocks all the way down the street! Guys who say crap like this are not happy with themselves, and try to reflect that on to you. You deserve better. If you want to lose weight. (I think your weight sounds decent for your height) Do it only for yourself NOONE ELSE!
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
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    i have a lot of experience with guys who point out my flaws and try to make me feel insecure and bad about myself. trust me, they do it because deep down they think they are not in your league, and lowering a girls self esteem sometimes works surprisingly well. They want to make you "prove that you are good enough".

    i don't want to say your boyfriend is an *kitten* but there is plenty of guys that do this just to get laid. Remember, there is nothing sexier than confidence!
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
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    Also real man would never do that! only insecure boys would tell you things like that. i'd consider dumping him because you don't want to be around someone who's trying to make you feel worthless!
  • RawrImaDinoImaEachu
    RawrImaDinoImaEachu Posts: 2 Member
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    I know he is your boyfriend and it seems like he is looking out for you, but the guy is a jerk. 145 is a good weight for your height and it sounds like you are active and healthy. One thing to keep in mind that he probably doesn't realize is muscle weighs more than fat and that 10lbs from 134-145 could very well stay there even if you were working on enough muscle building to leave you more toned. I have seen a few people on here mention that he seems insecure and i'm going to say there is probably a lot of truth to it.

    Do what makes you feel best- if that is continuing what you are doing great. if it means working out a little more that is ok too. Just make sure it is what YOU want and not to keep your boyfriend happy.
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
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    are you trolling? you do know how to find a BMI calculator, right?

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