Why does everyone hate me? The forum Survival Guide.

Oooooooo.
Do the Elder MFPers have their own guild hall?

get to 2000 posts and you may find out...

Noting in my goal book, thank you kindly.

My advice would be for people to visit a Registered Dietitian. The information they give you will typically be a lot more reliable and helpful than what you will get on here.

Also they are trained in something called "rapport". People on the internet can be brisk and don't mince their words. However, people in the real world understand that to get their point across, they have to be respectful and kind. Offending people isn't going to help change their behavior.

bump

Great post. It should be pinned/stickied.

I do agree with you. Especially where the internet in general is concerned - MFP is tame in comparison.

However :happy:

Maybe I am just on my own here - hope not! But, I have probably learned my most valuables lesson in life, not just diet stuff, from being wrong.
Sometimes, being right is just too easy for it to be valued.

If telling people what is right is all that was needed life would be easy indeed...and boring. And raising my own children would become a breeze! And MFP would no longer be needed!

I am actually not that ok with people being shouted down on here. Mostly because I have faith in people and think that they will eventually find their way. They will eventually realise that what they are doing is not working. That's not to say they shouldn't be pointed in the right direction - even bluntly told.

But, one cover-all post for 'Don't ask coz you're doing it wrong' or being shouted down for doing something that's not prescribed by the MFP forum posters isn't going to help. It's just going to make them stop posting, think that MFP isn't the right place for them and shut them down.

Some people on here have giving advice down in a really good way. They'll say - have a look at this, have you considered that etc give them links and wish them well, others get their knickers in a twist if they see something 'not right'.

As I said, I agree with you, your post says much truth and the internet can be harsh. But, as I said above, one cover-all post isn't gonna do it and people need to learn in their own ways - sometimes that will be from being wrong.

I agree with this...and while I agree with the point the OP is making, the post is pretty snarky and condescending. I would not be ok with it being stickied or making every noobie read it. I know I'm pretty new to these forums so my opinion might not matter as much as the veterans of the site, but that's not the tone I would want to set for new people. If this was the first thing I read when joining I probably would have found another site because I would be too afraid to make another post because they've "seen it all before". I'd be all for a snark free version being made stickied. :flowerforyou:

original post was fine ...

maybe you need to re-read it ...

We all need a little snark/humor in our lives...so lighten up ...

Original post was condescending. Maybe YOU need to re-read it. (See, isn't it fun when people state opinion as fact?) I also find it amusing that "correcting grammar" is against the guidelines, but posting a passive aggressive rant is totally cool. Isn't subjectivity fun? Condescension may be subjective...Yet, there's nothing subjective about grammar.

This just made my afternoon : )

Good post, OP. Don't have time to read the 12 other pages of posts so I'm just sayin' thanks and well done!

VERY GOOD!

Agreed times 1,000! I started a new MFP account, so my actual weight loss of 60 lbs doesn't show. But yes! I didn't get there by shunning advice I didn't like. I didn't get there by fad diets ( although I can't say I've never fallen into that trap... But I learned quickly the ultimate FAIL that they are...). I did it by listening, learning and making adjustments to what worked best. Guess what I found? The advice I originally didn't like hearing was almost always right.

Eat the right foods, get off my butt and take responsibility for my own actions or inactions.

I'm taking a Conditioning class at my college right now, and I can't tell you how often my classmates complain and fight the prof about how to effectively workout. Um, hi, he's been trained for this. He trains JUST like this. He only wants to teach you how to do it properly, effectively, and avoid injury. If you're not willing to at least hear what he has to say, then maybe you should have signed up for bowling or golf.

Be realistic. This is a public space filled with newbies, experts and those of us in between. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. If something promises to make you drop all your body fat in 28 days like those tricky little chick peas... Look forward to gaining it all and then some back once you go back to a normal diet. Don't post something without the acknowledgement that someone might have another opinion, and don't take offense when they do. Take CONSIDERATION.

I look at this forum as a means of education. If something sounds good, do research as academically as possible. Avoid diet specific websites until you've checked out the doctor or nutritionist that formed it. Then check out the reviews and comments. For example, the Atkins diet in men has shown more heart problems, heart attacks and cardiac arrest than the public knows about. Going vegan doesn't mean you can skimp on protein.

Everyone joined this thing for the same reason. To get healthier, or to commune with those trying to.

I'm sorry if that sounded like a rant... Lol I'm just reading and reading all these posts like those mentioned. One was "what happens if I'm addicted to junk food?" One of the responses (among many): self control and activity can go a long way. Albeit a harsh response, it's true. The original poster replied with: no it can't. What I learned from this one? Some posts are better left alone. Clearly we have a person who has not fully recognized that weight loss is not a magical occurrence. Thinking about going to the gym burns between 0 and 0 calories. Eating all day burns between 0 and 0 calories.

We also need to understand that weight loss is a journey. It takes time, and education. I didn't wake up one day and fully embrace everything I needed to in order to lose the weight I've lost. It took me time. I wanted a quick fix. I wanted magic. I wanted God to come down from the heavens and fix me, because in my mind I hadn't done anything wrong with my body. Obviously I had, or I wouldn't be wanting to lose, right? While I believe we should approach as many posts as we can with patience and compassion, it can be incredibly difficult. As we are all human, we all need to understand that each of us shares the same fundamental emotions, and frustration is one of them.


Anyway, thank you for writing this post!

Plus "its" and "it's" always messes me up since the possessive doesn't use an apostrophe. Always get that one confused.

I just learned this recently, I've been doing it wrong for YEARS! But how confusing is that rule??

Actually if you think about it, it makes perfect sense that "it's" is NOT the possessive. It's a contraction for "It is"...so if ever in doubt about which one to use, substitute "It is" for where you intend to place the it's/its and if it makes no sense, you have the wrong one. :flowerforyou:

This thread is very entertaining *grabs some popcorn*

The atmosphere of self-congratulation and mutual moisture is so dense in here, I doubt any real "grip" can be had at all.

Gripe, though...