Why do people get so mean?

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mactaffy84
mactaffy84 Posts: 398 Member
in Getting Started
Honestly, I think it is about time MFP moderators get more involved when people get so mean and disrespectful in these posts. It is a big turn off. You come for help, you come because you're scared about something, you come to reach out to your fellow man (or woman) because you hope to get some empathy or help or guidance or something. What happens far too often is that you are told you're a jerk, or wrong, or stupid, etc.

When have we, as a society, lost our ability to be courteous to our fellow human beings? Is the anonymity inherent in this site a reason to be so rude? You can disagree with someone without being horrible and disrespectful about it. And if you can't do that, maybe you should just ignore that particular post that ticks you off so much and move on!

What is so wrong about anecdotal observations? So many people want stuff "backed up with science" and scoff at these one-off stories, but sometimes, this leads to scientific discoveries. These "anecdotes" may be the next decade's "science"! And even if they are not, what harm is it to politely hear another person's experience? You might actually find something helpful and useful in it. And, if not, you're free to ignore it. No one is twisting your arm to do anything that you don't feel is healthy or right for you.

I wish that people would remember the "Golden Rule". Treat others as you would like to be treated.

Just my thought. Now, I suppose, comes more horrible behavior that we, as a species, have perfected.:cry:
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Replies

  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    The moderators deal with people who are truly mean. Consistently. (Interestingly enough, this very thread will likely become a casualty of the heavily-moderated environment that is the MFP forums.)

    What you are calling "mean" sounds more like a difference of opinions. They generally won't deal with that...nor should they.

    I'm more interested to know when we as a society lost our ability to have a disagreement with people without being called names for it.

    ETA:
    Some clues on the hunt for the background story:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1283974-it-starts-with-nutrition


    And for completeness, here's a thread where she might be playing the role of "mean" person: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1276438-ughh


    ETAM:
    Also, contrary to popular cliche, I'm far more direct (and edgy) in real life than I am online...because I can judge the response better and because my audience is more narrowly defined.
  • Forty6and2
    Forty6and2 Posts: 2,492 Member
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    I wrote a blog post about the perspective of a "hater." It addresses your point about anecdotal "evidence"

    If you care to check it out: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Forty6and2/view/-haters-why-we-do-what-we-do-657397
  • donyellemoniquex3
    donyellemoniquex3 Posts: 2,384 Member
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    How to deal with mean people online:
    1) Turn off computer / tablet / phone
    2) Throw out computer / tablet / phone
    3) Cancel Internet and phone / cellphone service
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    I do wut I want
  • ThickMcRunFast
    ThickMcRunFast Posts: 22,511 Member
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    Usually when I am wrong, I want people to tell me I am wrong. So I can stop being wrong.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    What happened?
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
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    Gettin' in early, for mean people.

    i-like-where-this-thread-is-going-8.jpg
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
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    You don't think people who are wrong should be told they are wrong?

    And that makes other mean? :noway:
  • mcafeekevin
    mcafeekevin Posts: 46 Member
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    I think you answer your own question "maybe you should just ignore that particular post that ticks you off so much and move on! ".

    Haters will always hate, just say ****em and go on with life. Anyone can get their panties in a bunch over anything at any particular time, don't take it personal. Find the positive people and stick to them and let the negative people suck themselves all down to the bottom.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    OP did someone try to tell you that you are wrong about something?
  • PurpleCupcakes01
    PurpleCupcakes01 Posts: 141
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    What happened?

    I don't know but I'm following so I can find out lol
  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
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    What she want's is that the "mean" people need to pat everybody on the back saying they'er, there, their, even if their ideal is dangerous, stupid and dumb. JS
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
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    And if you can't do that, maybe you should just ignore that particular post that ticks you off so much and move on!
    Or maybe start a thread complaining about it
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    And if you can't do that, maybe you should just ignore that particular post that ticks you off so much and move on!
    Or maybe start a thread complaining about it

    really i think she should tell us what happened. detailed. in her own words.
  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
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    Possible this thread: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1283974-it-starts-with-nutrition
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    ^that's helpful but I think the OP should say it briefly. it's her bone to pick after all. she knows what she feels happened.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
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    There is a HUGE difference in actually talking to a person face to face or on the phone, as opposed to posting something to the faceless, bodiless, web. There's little if any sense of an actual person out there on the other end, just a mob of unknown strangers, so one can say whatever the hell one wants to.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    This is one of the most tightly moderated forums I've ever been on. Posts get removed all the time because they ruffle someone's feathers and offend delicate sensibilities. Most "mean" people here aren't mean, they are blunt and to the point, and don't blow smoke up people's a$$es by holding hands and telling them what they want to hear.
    Actual MEAN-i.e. insulting, derogatory, racist, etc. posts get removed almost immediately.

    Sometimes people hear things they don't want to. Or it wasn't presented in the way they wanted it to be. Life is hard.

    Not always. Not if they are helping to "motivate" someone.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1278013-i-will-post-a-funny-status-a-day-here
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