How to tell vegan friends to back off?!

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Replies

  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
    If politeness isn't working, be firm - "my food choices aren't up for discussion. I'm not going to talk about this with you any longer".

    If firmness doesn't work, get new friends.

    - a vegan
  • LoupGarouTFTs
    LoupGarouTFTs Posts: 916 Member
    There is nothing in the world that will get an "ethical" vegan to back off. If they don't respond to courteous requests, just don't answer their calls any longer or risk stooping to their level of rudeness.
  • Keepcalmanddontblink
    Keepcalmanddontblink Posts: 718 Member
    Regardless if you can drink it why wouldn't you unless you specifically don't like the taste or just don't want to. There is no "natural" or health reason to not drink milk that isn't based on some misguided idea of an "ideal" based on judgement of what "nature" should be.
    What about lactose intolerance? My husband and step daughter cannot drink milk or else, things get unpleasant. lol

    Anyway to the OP, just like someone already mentioned about boundaries within friendships, if your "friends" don't back off and stop shoving their ideals into your face, than maybe its time to find a new group of friends to hang out with.
  • leantool
    leantool Posts: 365 Member
    Maniacally kiss a peice of your choice of meat before chomping it into a dramatic nothingnesss.
    Give a stern, slightly zealot look and don't offer a verbal explanation
    :wink: :laugh: :devil:
  • rbiss
    rbiss Posts: 422 Member
    I would just tell them nicely that you don't push meat on them, and if your are interested they will be the first people you turn too.

    I am a vegetarian and was a little bit "activist" at first. I think once its just your life, you relax a bit, but always help out people when they show the willingness. That part is the key or you just end up pissing people off. Just tell your friends nicely to back off, they need to hear it.
  • elusive_design
    elusive_design Posts: 1,095 Member
    Could never be Vegan... I like Jello too much. I would simply tell them flat out to lay off, your not vegan, nor will you ever be.
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Try this...
    "back off"
  • bebreli
    bebreli Posts: 227 Member
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  • rheannaraye
    rheannaraye Posts: 62 Member
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  • missiontofitness
    missiontofitness Posts: 4,059 Member
    Tell them to stop, and that you don't push your views onto them. If a simple "no thanks" isn't working, it's time to get assertive!
  • LoupGarouTFTs
    LoupGarouTFTs Posts: 916 Member
    Tell them to stop, and that you don't push your views onto them. If a simple "no thanks" isn't working, it's time to get assertive!

    Why?
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    I get it family and friends who are vegan have their views but they always try to push it on me or others, it's like solicitors that come door to door trying to get you to take their pamphlets or switch to their internet provider. I respect their choice and so make sure to include meals they can eat during a get together. But I don't push them to eat animal products.

    And I've already heard "well if you tried it you'll like it or feel better". Yeah I was vegan for over a year before but it wasn't for me. At the time I was rowing and competing in regattas which meant I was training in the gym 5 days and on the water 4 days of the week. Perhaps it was the timing but I could never get enough calories or protein from alternative sources. I felt weaker and was always tired.

    I already don't eat most dairy products and during the week include vegan meals but I just like meat.

    Simply saying "no thank you" or even explaining what I just did here doesn't seem to work. Anyone else experience this? What do you do?
    Just say, "No thanks," and move on. If they keep bugging you, try Aaron's chicken toss. :bigsmile: :laugh:
  • Strokingdiction
    Strokingdiction Posts: 1,164 Member
    I have a vegan sister in law. She used to do this to me. After over a dozen times saying such things as, "That's nice." or "I'm fine, thank you." or "I'm perfectly fine with the way I've chosen to eat.", I finally told her this:

    "I swear that if you try to convert me one more time, I will match your conversion speeches with one of my own except I'm going to say the opposite of everything you say but at twice the volume. I'll be obnoxious because this is really starting to irritate the crap out of me."

    She caught me on a bad day and I didn't say it in my normal diplomatic tones. She's held her tongue from that day on. I think we're both happier when we hang out together, at least I know I am. We still have a good relationship with one another.
  • luvtrails
    luvtrails Posts: 48 Member
    Call them on their smug selves! Do they wear leather? Carry leather purses? I am a vegetarian, but am happy when people eat the meat which came off of my shoes!!!
  • east2west14
    east2west14 Posts: 161 Member
    Try this...
    "back off"

    Or this one - *kitten* OFF
    That should do it.... Heheheheheh
  • PennyVonDread
    PennyVonDread Posts: 432 Member
    Can we not advise someone to turn hateful on their friends? Okay, so they're Vegan and they have some boundary issues. How is forcing back with equal hate and inappropriate behaviour supposed to help heal the already fragile relationship?

    If you are friends, just talk. Seriously. Set a few boundaries and express that mutual respect needs to be a componant in your relationship, for the benefit of both parties.

    A lot of veg*ns already face hate and prejudice due to the extremists who make a bad name for, what people assume to be all, veg*n manners. If you want someone to respect your life choices, hating on and dismantling theirs in the name of revenge just doesn't sound like a good way to start.
  • Strokingdiction
    Strokingdiction Posts: 1,164 Member
    Can we not advise someone to turn hateful on their friends? Okay, so they're Vegan and they have some boundary issues. How is forcing back with equal hate and inappropriate behaviour supposed to help heal the already fragile relationship?

    If you are friends, just talk. Seriously. Set a few boundaries and express that mutual respect needs to be a componant in your relationship, for the benefit of both parties.

    A lot of veg*ns already face hate and prejudice due to the extremists who make a bad name for, what people assume to be all, veg*n manners. If you want someone to respect your life choices, hating on and dismantling theirs in the name of revenge just doesn't sound like a good way to start.

    Appeasement isn't always the best policy to follow.
  • PJPrimrose
    PJPrimrose Posts: 916 Member
    LOL! On the religious extremism meme! It's true! Too damn funny.

    How did I handle it? Um...probably not the right way. I challenged my tiny vegan step-sister to a fitness contest to PROVE her BS claims her fruity *kitten* diet made her into some kind of superwoman or STFU. It didn't hurt that I was 6 inches taller, 30 lean pounds heavier, and spent a lot of time being active at a lot of different stuff that involved a casual workout (surfing, hiking etc...) while she went to an overpriced fancy-pants gym that claimed to be better than a regular gym not unlike her vegan- superwoman- diet plan over normal food. You just wouldn't believe the nasty crap she ate to turn her gym attending self into an elite athlete (um...sure....)

    She absolutely, positively SUCKED at everything we tried. Outside sports, inside sports, machines, free weights, treadmill, elliptical, running, dry land and water sports. Needless to say, I'm hardly a freaking elite athlete. I was just going to a regular, cheap gym at that time.

    I'm sure there is a vegan super,duper athlete out there somewhere but the vast majority of vegans I've seen appear rather pale and frail IMHO.
  • ereck44
    ereck44 Posts: 1,170 Member
    bump for later
  • PennyVonDread
    PennyVonDread Posts: 432 Member
    Can we not advise someone to turn hateful on their friends? Okay, so they're Vegan and they have some boundary issues. How is forcing back with equal hate and inappropriate behaviour supposed to help heal the already fragile relationship?

    If you are friends, just talk. Seriously. Set a few boundaries and express that mutual respect needs to be a componant in your relationship, for the benefit of both parties.

    A lot of veg*ns already face hate and prejudice due to the extremists who make a bad name for, what people assume to be all, veg*n manners. If you want someone to respect your life choices, hating on and dismantling theirs in the name of revenge just doesn't sound like a good way to start.

    Appeasement isn't always the best policy to follow.

    I don't think that should be necessary between friends. But I guess it's another case of "with friends like these, who needs enemies?"
  • kikityme
    kikityme Posts: 472 Member
    If the polite responses don't work, try some reverse propaganda. Start going on and on about how good meat is for you and why they should eat it and how delicious your steak was the other night with the blood dripping from it and wait for them to ask you to stop. When they do, point out that you would like the same respect. I've found that this technique usually works with the hard headed when nothing else does.

    I kind of like this.
  • lindsey1979
    lindsey1979 Posts: 2,395 Member
    "No other animal drinks milk into adulthood!"


    "That's because no other animal is smart enough to figure out how to milk a cow."

    Honestly there is a very good biological reason. Humans as a species developed a mutation in the lactase enzyme pathway that allows the enzyme responsible for the metabolic decomposition (digestion) of lactose into adulthood. All other mammals have the lactase gene regulated so that entering into adulthood the expression of the gene is turned off. Humans developed a mutation sometime in our past that spread through most of the population that prevented this regulatory mechanism so lactase continued to be expressed into adulthood. Its actually the lactose intolerant that have the "natural" genetics and the lactose tolerant that are the "mutants" although of course what is "natural" is all relative when it comes to evolution.

    Regardless if you can drink it why wouldn't you unless you specifically don't like the taste or just don't want to. There is no "natural" or health reason to not drink milk that isn't based on some misguided idea of an "ideal" based on judgement of what "nature" should be.
    [/quote]

    I think the mutation is mostly in those of Northern/Western European descent. Many other world populations are lactose intolerance.
  • SnatchPosse
    SnatchPosse Posts: 28 Member
    I get it family and friends who are vegan have their views but they always try to push it on me or others, it's like solicitors that come door to door trying to get you to take their pamphlets or switch to their internet provider. I respect their choice and so make sure to include meals they can eat during a get together. But I don't push them to eat animal products.

    And I've already heard "well if you tried it you'll like it or feel better". Yeah I was vegan for over a year before but it wasn't for me. At the time I was rowing and competing in regattas which meant I was training in the gym 5 days and on the water 4 days of the week. Perhaps it was the timing but I could never get enough calories or protein from alternative sources. I felt weaker and was always tired.

    I already don't eat most dairy products and during the week include vegan meals but I just like meat.

    Simply saying "no thank you" or even explaining what I just did here doesn't seem to work. Anyone else experience this? What do you do?
    I often have the opposite problem with people demanding to know why I eat what I eat (or dont), sometimes even trying to argue. I just tell them that it's not up for discussion, end of story. Then start talking about something else. If they persist, don't engage. Even leave the room if you have to. This is how I finally got my mom to stop asking intrusive questions about my personal life :)
  • countscalories
    countscalories Posts: 418 Member
    SIMPLY BITE THEM ON THE NECK, AND DRINK EVERY OUNCE OF THEIR BLOOD. THAT SHOULD TAKE CARE OF YOUR PROBLEM. (DON'T FORGET TO LOG THE CALORIES!)
  • JenD1066
    JenD1066 Posts: 298 Member
    Are you incapable of actually articulating to people, or did you just want to rant?
    Generally speaking, if one wants someone to "back off," one simply vocalizes this.
  • snazzyjazzy21
    snazzyjazzy21 Posts: 1,298 Member
    Are you incapable of actually articulating to people, or did you just want to rant?
    Generally speaking, if one wants someone to "back off," one simply vocalizes this.

    As the OP stated

    "Simply saying "no thank you" or even explaining what I just did here doesn't seem to work."

    I assume we're all working off the idea that they refuse to take no for an answer.
  • purplishblue
    purplishblue Posts: 135 Member
    Ugh, these types of things bother me, because then omnivores take it out on us innocent vegetarians/vegans that are minding our own business :P I cannot even tell you the amount of people over the past 10 years I've had bother me about not eating meat. The interesting thing is I can't say I've ever heard a single vegan/vegetarian bother others about their meal choices.

    I have to say though, the whole "we're meant to eat meat" thing is annoying. "Meant to" by who? God? Will we die without it? Am I a zombie at this point?

    Edit: Also, I don't think it even matters if they are vegan, religious, rabid knitters.... either way, I think the issue is you don't seem to know how to let people know they need to stop bothering you. Sounds like the real issue is you need to learn to be assertive. Or else people of any kind will bother you relentlessly about various things, without you knowing how to handle it. It's not anyone's fault, this is something you'll have to learn.
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
    "No other animal drinks milk into adulthood!"


    "That's because no other animal is smart enough to figure out how to milk a cow."

    Honestly there is a very good biological reason. Humans as a species developed a mutation in the lactase enzyme pathway that allows the enzyme responsible for the metabolic decomposition (digestion) of lactose into adulthood. All other mammals have the lactase gene regulated so that entering into adulthood the expression of the gene is turned off. Humans developed a mutation sometime in our past that spread through most of the population that prevented this regulatory mechanism so lactase continued to be expressed into adulthood. Its actually the lactose intolerant that have the "natural" genetics and the lactose tolerant that are the "mutants" although of course what is "natural" is all relative when it comes to evolution.

    Regardless if you can drink it why wouldn't you unless you specifically don't like the taste or just don't want to. There is no "natural" or health reason to not drink milk that isn't based on some misguided idea of an "ideal" based on judgement of what "nature" should be.

    I think the mutation is mostly in those of Northern/Western European descent. Many other world populations are lactose intolerance.
    [/quote]

    It has been a while so I don't remember for sure but I think you might be correct about that. It clearly started somewhere in our past and propagated in the population probably because it was not a bad trait to have really.
  • silencioesoro
    silencioesoro Posts: 318 Member
    I've run into this same problem, I tell them, "you do what you do, I do what I do. I like burgers, you like tofu. I don't like tofu, you don't like burgers. Let's agree to not eat at eachother's houses."

    Usually works.
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
    Are you incapable of actually articulating to people, or did you just want to rant?
    Generally speaking, if one wants someone to "back off," one simply vocalizes this.

    As the OP stated

    "Simply saying "no thank you" or even explaining what I just did here doesn't seem to work."

    I assume we're all working off the idea that they refuse to take no for an answer.

    Communicating your desire takes many forms, not all verbal. Bodylanguage, intensity, assertiveness play their part. I'm not operating on the assumption that these people are unreachable sociopaths.

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