rejected by online soulmate b/c of weight

"who know's what he wants and goes after it?" news flash.. all guys want poon, and all guys would be willing to jump into a relationship if the other individual/partner.. utensil ;P was spectacular. the difference is some guys run after it, and some guys like me are blessed with the law of least effort.. and look it up its actually a legit thing.. we don't need to go get what we want because we are so studly it comes to us... now granted, occasionally I have to ask for a chicks number, but from after that she does all the work in anything getting anywhere.

as for being a real gentleman.. some days I wake up rocking the monocle, cane, top hat, my fav black suit before leaving the door... and sometimes on forums I play devils advocate and just talk meat and bones while being witty... when I'm dating a lady legit, I treat her like a lady. Calling immediately is a boys maneuver, real men wait three days.. part of the reason is I like to sit down and put all the numbers into my phone at once that ive collected over the past couple days, but part of it is because it gets the chick also flustered wondering if I will call or not period.

believe me. the three day rule is a real thing, and the law of least effort is what enables a nitwit like me to date foreign ladies and models and not stuck with what I used to date... dating is a game and once you realize thats all it is it gets a whole lot easier to play, and way less of a chance of disappointment or hurt. embrace the game! XD

"Hi, I have been talking to this girl for several months and we were really falling for her. She was funny, engaging, and lead an active lifestyle. She recently moved and I started pressing to meet in person. She was really hesitant and told me she didn't want to because she recently got sick and gained a few pounds. Based on some older photos she sent, I decided that a few pounds didn't matter and set up the meeting anyway.

Well, when I got there, 'a few pounds' was really 60 and I was starting to doubt that this was recent as it's nearly impossible to gain weight that quickly, but I tried moving past it since we have such a great connection. A few hours passed and I kept thinking back to it and I just couldn't let it go. I tried making an excuse so I could go home and think things over but she kept asking what was wrong. I decided to be upfront with her and she started crying. I care for her so I spent the next two hours holding her and saying things will be ok, but I'm not sure they will be."

Yeah, I'm thinking this is pretty much spot on.

OP said in the beginning she was fit, confident, etc. Then she moved. Then she got sick and gained weight. She also said that she shared a lot of deep personal stuff w/ this guy. All of these things, IMO, came too early in the process of them getting to know one another. You're not going to pique or keep a guy's interest in the beginning with heavy stuff like that. Then she started questioning him when she sensed something was off, asking if it was her weight. Then...2 hours of crying - that alone would scare anyone off, I would think. I understand she was upset and confused but as another poster said, sometimes we women use that to try to manipulate a situation.

What I still can't figure out is why he said he loved her when they first got together, then later said "I think I can love you".

My working theory is she surprised him with an "I LOVE YOU!" and he knee-jerk responded in kind.

Just a theory though.

yeah I seriously don't think chicks think clearly about dropping those love bombs... it reminds me of a few weeks ago.. I was super funny and witty on tinder with a chick, got her number, call her and am being mr. glib.. and she says "I love you" ... so a date I was excited and looking forward to suddenly didn't happen and I promptly hung up and muted her over fb and ignored the desperate txt.. Girls should have a dumb rule that they never are allowed to say "I love you" first, just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.

Guys can prematurely drop the 'love bomb' as well. It's an awkward situation when it's only been a short time and it sends up HUGE red flags.

Yeah...I'd be leery of any man who dropped his love bomb prematurely!

"Hi, I have been talking to this girl for several months and we were really falling for her. She was funny, engaging, and lead an active lifestyle. She recently moved and I started pressing to meet in person. She was really hesitant and told me she didn't want to because she recently got sick and gained a few pounds. Based on some older photos she sent, I decided that a few pounds didn't matter and set up the meeting anyway.

Well, when I got there, 'a few pounds' was really 60 and I was starting to doubt that this was recent as it's nearly impossible to gain weight that quickly, but I tried moving past it since we have such a great connection. A few hours passed and I kept thinking back to it and I just couldn't let it go. I tried making an excuse so I could go home and think things over but she kept asking what was wrong. I decided to be upfront with her and she started crying. I care for her so I spent the next two hours holding her and saying things will be ok, but I'm not sure they will be."

Yeah, I'm thinking this is pretty much spot on.

OP said in the beginning she was fit, confident, etc. Then she moved. Then she got sick and gained weight. She also said that she shared a lot of deep personal stuff w/ this guy. All of these things, IMO, came too early in the process of them getting to know one another. You're not going to pique or keep a guy's interest in the beginning with heavy stuff like that. Then she started questioning him when she sensed something was off, asking if it was her weight. Then...2 hours of crying - that alone would scare anyone off, I would think. I understand she was upset and confused but as another poster said, sometimes we women use that to try to manipulate a situation.

What I still can't figure out is why he said he loved her when they first got together, then later said "I think I can love you".

My working theory is she surprised him with an "I LOVE YOU!" and he knee-jerk responded in kind.

Just a theory though.

yeah I seriously don't think chicks think clearly about dropping those love bombs... it reminds me of a few weeks ago.. I was super funny and witty on tinder with a chick, got her number, call her and am being mr. glib.. and she says "I love you" ... so a date I was excited and looking forward to suddenly didn't happen and I promptly hung up and muted her over fb and ignored the desperate txt.. Girls should have a dumb rule that they never are allowed to say "I love you" first, just like us guys always uphold the dumb rule of never calling within three days of getting out of our comfort zone to ask for the digits.

Guys can prematurely drop the 'love bomb' as well. It's an awkward situation when it's only been a short time and it sends up HUGE red flags.

Yeah...I'd be leery of any man who dropped his love bomb prematurely!

Hey!

This occasionally happens to all guys!

:grumble:

Besides, I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately...

...and I've been stressed at work.

This thread is making me feel like I am more charming than what I give myself credit for.

I love how this guy is being demonized for not being attracted to her, lol.

lmfao, your dating a ton of desperate men, or they are ALL coming from tinder. the rule of three is a sacred cree to seperate the alpha's from the shemen. Its a sign that we truly are hardly invested, and def not desperate.

Wrong. It's a sign of being a real man who knows what he wants and goes after it, stupid games be damned.

Plus, you'd be impressed I call period.. so many chicks compliment me on calling after I get their number... all my male friends txt first... the bottom feeders your dealing with.. now that is being a big kitty kat.

If you're dating girls that are simply impressed by your ability to pick up a telephone and dial a number, then they are sorely lacking experience with a real gentleman.

"who know's what he wants and goes after it?" news flash.. all guys want poon, and all guys would be willing to jump into a relationship if the other individual/partner.. utensil ;P was spectacular. the difference is some guys run after it, and some guys like me are blessed with the law of least effort.. and look it up its actually a legit thing.. we don't need to go get what we want because we are so studly it comes to us... now granted, occasionally I have to ask for a chicks number, but from after that she does all the work in anything getting anywhere.

as for being a real gentleman.. some days I wake up rocking the monocle, cane, top hat, my fav black suit before leaving the door... and sometimes on forums I play devils advocate and just talk meat and bones while being witty... when I'm dating a lady legit, I treat her like a lady. Calling immediately is a boys maneuver, real men wait three days.. part of the reason is I like to sit down and put all the numbers into my phone at once that ive collected over the past couple days, but part of it is because it gets the chick also flustered wondering if I will call or not period.

believe me. the three day rule is a real thing, and the law of least effort is what enables a nitwit like me to date foreign ladies and models and not stuck with what I used to date... dating is a game and once you realize thats all it is it gets a whole lot easier to play, and way less of a chance of disappointment or hurt. embrace the game! XD

Am I a bottom feeder because I prefer texting to phone calls?

nope, I could have worded that better.

but if you want to tease her kitty as quickly as possible- call.

This thread is making me feel like I am more charming than what I give myself credit for.

This thread is making me thankful a million times over that I'm married. Single ladies, I am so sorry. I don't remember it being quite this douchey when I was out there. :flowerforyou:

It is tough out there for guys too.