what mean/thoughtless comment has been said to you before?

Polishprinsezz
Polishprinsezz Posts: 249 Member
in Motivation and Support
While you were obese/overweight? i can only image what people thought and said about me behind my back but one time my cousin's boyfriend commented on my facebook pic that it was time for me to lose some weight. this was last july. i posted a family pic of us in the bahamas. that was the exact reason why i never posted pics of myself before. i was so embarrassed that he left that comment. sigh...
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Replies

  • Pauline252mfp
    Pauline252mfp Posts: 13 Member
    Why didn't you delete the comment he left?
  • lwestmill
    lwestmill Posts: 91 Member
    Maybe it was nothing said to me. But it was something that was done. Men just ignored me and would not hold the door for me. That hurt my feelings. Guess what? 2 men stopped their car and let me cross the road this past week! I was thrilled! Its the little things.:love::bigsmile: My a** is on fire!
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    No one ever said anything to me when I was heavy. Now on the other hand . . .

    Well, the point is you decide how you let people treat you. I've learned how to calmly confront people when they say something insulting. Usually people just don't think before they speak. I still don't like doing it, but at least I know I can.
  • bikinilinds
    bikinilinds Posts: 17 Member
    My mother blurted out 'butterball' when I showed her a picture of me from a night out mini putting with some friends. Most embarrassing time ever.
  • Phoenix__Rising
    Phoenix__Rising Posts: 9,981 Member
    When I was only past 200#s [my biggest was beyond 300#s] I saw
    my first love, thinking beauty to him was in his heart .. I heard him
    ask 'Why did you let yourself go'? I eventually grew plus that next
    100!! How wrong was I about him!
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    TO THE STAKE!!!
  • HerkMeOff
    HerkMeOff Posts: 1,002 Member
    What a horrible thread. I prefer not to relive the ****ty things that have been said to me, or anyone else.



    I'm out
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    Someone close to me said that I looked like if you stuck a pin in me I would pop.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    Maybe it was nothing said to me. But it was something that was done. Men just ignored me and would not hold the door for me. That hurt my feelings. Guess what? 2 men stopped their car and let me cross the road this past week! I was thrilled! Its the little things.:love::bigsmile: My a** is on fire!

    It's quite astonishing and pretty appalling that men were rude to the overweight 'you' and not to the slimmer 'you', but not in the least bit surprising to me anymore.

    You only need to wander into the 'Chitchat' area of the forums to see how much value so many place on how we look. Take a snapshot of the posts on there and they will mostly be the same as they are now, from both men and women

    Hot or not @ person above you part 19

    Compliment the person above you part 46

    Pass, hug, spank, marry, date pt 34

    Rate the person above you part 46

    Why did you dump the person above you part 12

    I need me some Man Candy!

    How do you like your boobs?

    Would you grab the person above you?

    It seems that ones value is defined by how hot you are, even to the point of you not even being worthy of common politeness and courtesy if you're not deemed as attractive. That's such a shame really
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    I've had women poke me in the stomach and tell me that I'm fat. What matters is your reaction to that sort of thing. You can either take great offense and waste your time ranting, or you can laugh it off and poke back. The latter is much more productive and fun.
  • Polishprinsezz
    Polishprinsezz Posts: 249 Member
    What a horrible thread. I prefer not to relive the ****ty things that have been said to me, or anyone else.



    I'm out
    why comment then? your opinion of my thread was a tad bit rude.keep scrolling if you dont like the thread.
  • Polishprinsezz
    Polishprinsezz Posts: 249 Member
    Why didn't you delete the comment he left?
    i guess i left it on purpose so people could see what a thoughtless twit he was and proof of the wake up call i needed. i am not really mad at him as i was more upset with myself for abusing my body. i look forward to sharing my after photo with him most of all.
  • runningfastpumpingiron
    runningfastpumpingiron Posts: 7
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    You asked your husband a question and he answered honestly. I've never understood why women get so mad about this.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I was called fatboy by my family, roundboy by my friends, and "house" by my friends dads. My first crush told me I was too chubby (I was like 30lbs overweight), and various other instances.

    It hurt then, but I give no ****s now.
  • Lkkiser3
    Lkkiser3 Posts: 52 Member
    I was at work as a cashier and needed to slide past this lady bc people were waiting at my register ( very small space, barely big enough for one person.) well I said excuse me 3 times and she just looked at me, so I went on to slide past her and as I did my bottom touched hers.. so she turned to me and said " damn you F-ing fat a-- , you in a hurry to get to that candy bar?" It was the worst moment of my life.. So many other customers, and associates heard her and it was really awkward.. never want to feel that way again..
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    You asked your husband a question and he answered honestly. I've never understood why women get so mad about this.

    Honesty is never the proper answer. Women are far too hysterical to be told the truth
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    Trick question. The answer is "5.) don't ask questions to which you don't want the answer"
  • obum88
    obum88 Posts: 262 Member
    Do you really think you need to eat that? and sex was withheld
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    I was at work as a cashier and needed to slide past this lady bc people were waiting at my register ( very small space, barely big enough for one person.) well I said excuse me 3 times and she just looked at me, so I went on to slide past her and as I did my bottom touched hers.. so she turned to me and said " damn you F-ing fat a-- , you in a hurry to get to that candy bar?" It was the worst moment of my life.. So many other customers, and associates heard her and it was really awkward.. never want to feel that way again..

    That just sounds like it has more to do with how she is than how you were. I have a feeling that she would find something horrible to say about anyone, regardless of how fat or slim they are
  • 1princesswarrior
    1princesswarrior Posts: 1,242 Member
    My dad made so many mean comments I can't count them all but the worst was when I was having trouble sitting at a booth for New Year's Dinner after my neck surgery when I was at my highest weight and lowest self-esteem and he blurts out to the entire restaurant "hey you too f**kin fat to fit in a booth now! I'm going to have to send you and your brother to a fat camp!"

    The whole restaurant looked at us.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    A healthy sense of self preservation and conflict avoidance would lean in favor of 2 and/or 4. She didn't want an honest answer. She wanted a self exteme booster.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    Many things. My mother used to pick on me to make my sister feel better about her (thinner) body. She'd poke my tummy and they'd both laugh. I think it was due to her own feelings about herself, but growing up with that kind of negativity really did a number on my self-esteem.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    Trick question. The answer is "5.) don't ask questions to which you don't want the answer"

    Which is another reason why I never venture into the 'rate the person above you' threads!
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    Trick question. The answer is "5.) don't ask questions to which you don't want the answer"

    Which is another reason why I never venture into the 'rate the person above you' threads!

    :drinker:
  • Nessie112
    Nessie112 Posts: 39 Member
    Oh gosh there have been a lot. My 'friend' called my ex a 'chubby chaser' for dating me, and he didn't respond or tell him otherwise. I guess that was the most hurtful. I never really cared what others said about me, people that I didn't know I mean but when it came to my friends and family it hurt a lot. My best friend nick named me cow, whale and walrus. So that sucked. I know it may sound petty, but I can not wait to show myself off when I'm their version of attractive. So tired of people thinking I'm lazy just because I'm heavy. And I've heard people say it's wrong to be mean to others based on their race or sexual orientation, but it's okay if they're fat, because they can change. Well it sure as hell isn't easy. *grumble grumble*
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    I have found that people who make mean or thoughtless comments about weight, will probably find something else to be mean/thoughtless about when weight is no longer an issue.

    This type of behavior is all about the other person's character defects - not your weight. That's why I don't find reliving this in any way motivational or supportive.
  • tedrickp
    tedrickp Posts: 1,229 Member
    Well I was massive, and I have had plenty of random **** yelled at me from cars or in bars/parties. When I was 18-20 age it bothered me, and led to plenty of fights... but thankfully I grew up and stopped giving a ****. At least outwardly - it would still bother me a bit, but lashing out never helped anything.

    I found it even more annoying/hurtful when people/friends would give you those backhanded patronizing compliments. I remember two occasions specifically (so Im sure there were plenty more) where people would actually say something like "Hey man, I think it's awesome that you don't care what people think of you and are out here having a good time". As if I was some freak of nature who should have been house bound. Yeah, look at how brave I am - daring to act normal at a social gathering. :explode:
  • apanda4
    apanda4 Posts: 513 Member
    Well, I know that my mum doesn't think that I am pretty and she said to me once "why should I, you're my daughter". That hurt

    But my step-grandfather was always picking on me about my weight when he was alive and the one time it really hurt, was when we were having a party for my mum's birthday one year and my grandmother said that she was cold. I told her that I didn't feel cold. My step-grandfather told me that I had my fat to keep me warm. I was kinda used to his insults, but it hurt bad, because it was around family friends and my dad's family as well.

    I was called elephant, hippopotamus, earthquake etc etc etc while growing up

    And recently my ex has taken to calling me fat, ugly and lazy.

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