what mean/thoughtless comment has been said to you before?

A relative who lives in Germany that I hadn't seen or talked to in almost 2 decades contacted me via facebook.

His first communication with me was to tell me how fat I was. I first thought he was also calling me a dlck but 'dlck' is thick/fat in German. :noway:

I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

I hope you divorced him immediately.

Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

I hope you divorced him immediately.

Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

I think encouraging ones spouse to reach for the impossible makes sure you get the best they have to offer.

Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

Well I was massive, and I have had plenty of random **** yelled at me from cars or in bars/parties. When I was 18-20 age it bothered me, and led to plenty of fights... but thankfully I grew up and stopped giving a ****. At least outwardly - it would still bother me a bit, but lashing out never helped anything.

I found it even more annoying/hurtful when people/friends would give you those backhanded patronizing compliments. I remember two occasions specifically (so Im sure there were plenty more) where people would actually say something like "Hey man, I think it's awesome that you don't care what people think of you and are out here having a good time". As if I was some freak of nature who should have been house bound. Yeah, look at how brave I am - daring to act normal at a social gathering. :explode:

Wow, your last sentence made me laugh. What nice friends. :noway:

Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

As far as me being a "forum failure" or unable to read sarcasm - I'm sorry, I left my super special internet sarcasm decoder glasses and my "give a s*it about what forum people think of me" in my other purse. My bad.

Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

As far as me being a "forum failure" or unable to read sarcasm - I'm sorry, I left my super special internet sarcasm decoder glasses and my "give a s*it about what forum people think of me" in my other purse. My bad.

Well now I think you're bad at sarcasm and easily upset.

not that you care.

I'm just sharing.

Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

As far as me being a "forum failure" or unable to read sarcasm - I'm sorry, I left my super special internet sarcasm decoder glasses and my "give a s*it about what forum people think of me" in my other purse. My bad.

Well now I think you're bad at sarcasm and easily upset.

not that you care.

I'm just sharing.

Thanks so much for sharing. :flowerforyou:

After reading this thread ....I had some crazy flashbacks my list of mean comments said to me is long! Something's you never forget and when you think about it you relive it like it was yesterday. I think I just figured out people are always gonna say something inappropriate, it doesn't really matter the size you are....when I was 15 and a size 11 overheard Mom and Dad talking, Mom says to Dad have you seen how big she is getting... His response was ya she is huge. Sad to think that I was dieting at age 11 to be a Barbie size version everyone thought I should be. I maxed out over 400 pounds in my late 20's, blessed to now be free of the heavy load I carried for so many years losing over 200 pounds only to still be made to feel like I am not good enough. Guy I dated last asked me when I was having more plastic surgery because my legs really bothered him..... And before that I had a guy say I really like her but she has a big butt, .....but she says she wants to workout.

It never changes..... People suck! Ha, we'll not all but good people are hard to find these days
Oh we'll.... Gotta just live and learn not to let the opinion of others get to you.....That's their problem not yours, but I won't lie...
It hurts!

What's wrong with that?

PS I could use a compliment right about now. :flowerforyou:

Seems a bit forced that's all.

Oh good use of punctuation by the way

Forced? I've been with my husband for 12 years, there's nothing left to be forced between us. I tell him that I'm feeling sensitive or whatever on a particular day and so he's not blindsided by my mood swings, too. Communication in marriage - crazy concept, I know.

So maybe you should have prefaced your posts with "I'm feeling being sensitive and not very sarcastic"....

You aren't the only person here with a happy relationship. It doesn't really make you special. What works for you, works for you. GREAT. I do wonder why you feel the need to proclaim in this loudly, but whatever.

Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

As far as me being a "forum failure" or unable to read sarcasm - I'm sorry, I left my super special internet sarcasm decoder glasses and my "give a s*it about what forum people think of me" in my other purse. My bad.

Well now I think you're bad at sarcasm and easily upset.

not that you care.

I'm just sharing.

Thanks so much for sharing. :flowerforyou:

Communication is crucial.

I had someone ask me how old my baby was.... I wasn't and hadn't been pregnant... Made me evaluate how I dressed and how healthy I really was.

A foolish mistake on the part of that person.

As for me,unless I am 100% sure someone is pregnant and they bring it up in a conversation, I do not mention anything pregnancy related.

What's wrong with that?

PS I could use a compliment right about now. :flowerforyou:

Seems a bit forced that's all.

Oh good use of punctuation by the way

Forced? I've been with my husband for 12 years, there's nothing left to be forced between us. I tell him that I'm feeling sensitive or whatever on a particular day and so he's not blindsided by my mood swings, too. Communication in marriage - crazy concept, I know.

Communication in marriage = very important
Needing to ask your spouse for a compliment is not the same thing as communication in marriage - you can have one without the other

Whilst it works for you, it certainly isn't something that my wife would want

I never had anything hurtful said to me whilst I was overweight

But I had loads of friends, family AND work colleagues all start having a go at me to stop losing just as I was starting to feel better about myself.

"Dont lose anymore you look sick" :mad:
"Im worried that your becoming anerexic" :explode:

That was before the middle photo was taken in my profile pic.

And my favourite one was a comment on the middle pic on my profile just after it was taken

"Your leg looks anerexic" :noway: WTF!!!! How can a LEG be anorexic but not the rest of me???? lol

Maybe they meant that your leg looks like the leg of someone who is anorexic, but the rest of you doesn't?