what mean/thoughtless comment has been said to you before?

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Replies

  • MichelleB69
    MichelleB69 Posts: 213 Member
    People can be thoughtless, cruel, and/or stupid…or just incredibly awkward. I don't remember too many comments when I was heavy, I felt more like I became invisible to people: no one smiled at me anymore, people didn't hold doors open or wait for me or look me in the eye…that kind of thing.

    HOWEVER, this just happened to me tonight AND IM NOT FAT anymore. I'm 5'6" 138lbs and I just finished running 4 miles on the treadmill….I WAS a sweaty, red-faced mess. But when I went over to refill my water bottle at the drinking fountain, I heard a guy come up behind me. I said excuse me and went to move out of his way because I had no idea how long he had been back there and I didn't want to be hogging up the only drinking fountain by filling my bottle. He touches the back of my shirt (upper r shoulder) and says, "Are you the pig?" I couldn't figure out WTH he was talking about and asked him to repeat himself…so he did and pokes the back of my shirt again. It finally dawns on me that I have my old Dirty Dash tshirt on, so I just reply, "Yeah, I guess I am" and laughed it off. Either he's a complete jerk or that's the worst attempt at a pickup line I've ever heard! LOL

    What comes out of other people's mouths always has more to do with them and the filter they see the world thru than it ever does with you. But I'm still shocked at some of these stories.
  • Sad_Grandpa
    Sad_Grandpa Posts: 129

    Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

    I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

    I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

    Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

    Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

    I'm probably getting it all wrong then

    If my wife asks me how she looks then I don't take it as she is blindly fishing for compliments, but is genuinely asking for my opinion.

    I would reply honestly whether it's "Oh wow you look great, I love your hair like that" Or "Hmm I'm not a big fan of dungarees"

    Rookie.
  • Yagisama
    Yagisama Posts: 595 Member
    What's wrong with that?

    PS I could use a compliment right about now. :flowerforyou:

    Seems a bit forced that's all.

    Oh good use of punctuation by the way

    That wasn't even my best work. :blushing:

    You should see how I rock an umlaut !! :drinker:
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    In that situation, I like to pretend I'm dying. When she goes to call for help, I climb out the window and head off to play poker.

    Sad Grandpa for the win. :heart:
  • Swiftlet66
    Swiftlet66 Posts: 729 Member
    My mom to my dad (with me in hearing distance): "She's getting fatter; that's why she started running."

    Yeah, well mom, I am getting a little chubbier but that is not the only reason I am starting to run again. Yeah, losing a few pounds would be great, but my main reason is that I do not want to get diabetes... I don't want to suffer later on, like you are right now.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member

    Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

    I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

    I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

    Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

    Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

    I'm probably getting it all wrong then

    If my wife asks me how she looks then I don't take it as she is blindly fishing for compliments, but is genuinely asking for my opinion.

    I would reply honestly whether it's "Oh wow you look great, I love your hair like that" Or "Hmm I'm not a big fan of dungarees"

    Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.

    I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.

    But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member

    Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

    I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

    I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

    Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

    Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

    I'm probably getting it all wrong then

    If my wife asks me how she looks then I don't take it as she is blindly fishing for compliments, but is genuinely asking for my opinion.

    I would reply honestly whether it's "Oh wow you look great, I love your hair like that" Or "Hmm I'm not a big fan of dungarees"

    Rookie.

    Goes some way to explaining my legendary lack of success with women!
  • sun_fish
    sun_fish Posts: 864 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    In that situation, I like to pretend I'm dying. When she goes to call for help, I climb out the window and head off to play poker.

    Sad Grandpa for the win. :heart:

    When I read what Sad Grandpa said, I said out loud "Sad Grandpa for the win". Then I scrolled down and saw this! Great minds think alike :flowerforyou:
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    I asked my husband if I was getting fat and he said yes.

    Just for education purposes; as you were overweight/obese (as per the OP), if he had noticed, what should he have said?

    1) Yes, but you still look great
    2) Lied and said "No"
    3) Well you've possibly gained a few pounds
    4) Changed the subject

    In that situation, I like to pretend I'm dying. When she goes to call for help, I climb out the window and head off to play poker.

    Sad Grandpa for the win. :heart:

    When I read what Sad Grandpa said, I said out loud "Sad Grandpa for the win". Then I scrolled down and saw this! Great minds think alike :flowerforyou:

    :heart: Indeed.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    When I was in 3X clothing, a lot of fellow fat women would say things to me that I felt were insulting or hurtful. Basically saying, "women like us can't do that" or "us big girls gotta get our fried chicken"...just bizarre if you ask me. Especially when they were strangers to me! I didn't mind it QUITE as badly if it was someone I actually knew.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member

    Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

    I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

    I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

    Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

    Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

    I'm probably getting it all wrong then

    If my wife asks me how she looks then I don't take it as she is blindly fishing for compliments, but is genuinely asking for my opinion.

    I would reply honestly whether it's "Oh wow you look great, I love your hair like that" Or "Hmm I'm not a big fan of dungarees"

    Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.

    I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.

    But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.
    I think that is a good idea.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member

    Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.

    I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.

    But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.

    Sorry to hear that,
  • stephanne13
    stephanne13 Posts: 212 Member
    "I'll never love you deeply because you don't have nice legs". That was from a bf.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member

    Seriously? How about not setting your partner up for failure. Either he lies to you, or he's honest - either answer is wrong.

    I don't ask my husband how I look, or how a piece of clothing makes a part of my body look - that's what mirrors are for. If, on the other hand, I need reassurance or a compliment, I tell him.

    I am vehemently against demanding the impossible of a partner.

    Really? You say to your husband "I need a compliment"?

    Instead of blindly fishing for one? Yes. Not in those exact words, but yes. I don't see how this isn't preferable for both parties. *shrug*

    I'm probably getting it all wrong then

    If my wife asks me how she looks then I don't take it as she is blindly fishing for compliments, but is genuinely asking for my opinion.

    I would reply honestly whether it's "Oh wow you look great, I love your hair like that" Or "Hmm I'm not a big fan of dungarees"

    Perhaps I'm not being clear. It's not been a very good day for me at all, and I am struggling right now.

    I never meant that all women who ask how they look are automatically fishing for compliments. I just meant that asking "am I fat?" is a loaded and unfair question - if you're not willing to hear the truth.

    But apparently that was all a joke that I'm too dumb to get and though I have incredibly thick skin, sitting in the surgical waiting room and then by my mom's hospital bed all day has worn me out to the point that comments in this thread have brought me to tears, and the internet isn't worth crying over, so I'll bow out.
    I think that is a good idea.

    x2
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    "I'll never love you deeply because you don't have nice legs". That was from a bf.

    Did he follow that with "I want you, I need you; but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you.
    Now don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad"???
  • Watermelon_Crush
    Watermelon_Crush Posts: 170 Member
    "I'll never love you deeply because you don't have nice legs". That was from a bf.

    Did he follow that with "I want you, I need you; but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you.
    Now don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad"???

    Now that would be ironic as, if he had, that would make him Meatloaf.... ;)
  • stephanne13
    stephanne13 Posts: 212 Member
    That's hysterical..lol
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    "I'll never love you deeply because you don't have nice legs". That was from a bf.

    Did he follow that with "I want you, I need you; but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you.
    Now don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad"???

    Now that would be ironic as, if he had, that would make him Meatloaf.... ;)

    No apparently ironic is having ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
  • anphi14
    anphi14 Posts: 57 Member
    I've never been overweight until last year when I was slightly over the "healthy" mark for my height (5'0'') I've always struggled though with body image issues and I remember at my senior prom this girl who targeted me for no reason the whole school year screamed to me at post prom (she was really drunk) "LOOK ITS THE SHORT, STUBBY *****"
  • rebprest
    rebprest Posts: 149 Member
    I think when a lot of people tell you to stop losing weight or say you seem to be getting anorexic it's usually because for whatever reason, your weight loss makes them insecure. Some people can't see others succeed without feeling like failures. I won't lie, when my friend lost 50 lbs I was happy for them, but I had a LOT of jealousy about it. It can also be hard to distinguish the line between very fit/slender and too skinny so maybe it's a bit of both?
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    "I'll never love you deeply because you don't have nice legs". That was from a bf.

    Did he follow that with "I want you, I need you; but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you.
    Now don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad"???

    Now that would be ironic as, if he had, that would make him Meatloaf.... ;)

    No apparently ironic is having ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

    Ah, we have now come full circle.
  • SugaryLynx
    SugaryLynx Posts: 2,640 Member
    Hardest moment for me was Easter egg hunting with my then 2 year old and having a 5 year old ask me why I was so fat. He then turns to his mother and asks why I eat so much. She was embarrassed and did scold him but it was on front of everyone to hear. It was positively humiliating.
  • Watermelon_Crush
    Watermelon_Crush Posts: 170 Member
    That's hysterical..lol

    By the way, I'm sure you have very lovely legs. You have a very lovely smile. Ignore the moron.
  • Siigh_duck
    Siigh_duck Posts: 161 Member
    '' Me and sam were talking, and we think you'd be super hot if you were thin ''
  • thursdaystgiles
    thursdaystgiles Posts: 98 Member
    I was in NYC on my honeymoon and I'd been working out/dieting, etc. It was mid-afternoon and because we'd been running around, I hadn't eaten anything. My wife had grabbed a donut at the free breakfast in the hotel that morning and it was in the purse, so I went for it. Normally wouldn't eat one anyway, but I was starving and we'd been walking all over the city all day. Some random guy walking by on the street said "maybe you should have gone for something lower calorie" giving me an up and down look.

    Also, doing c25, on week 4. Finished running and I was doing my 5 minute cooldown, and some guy out walking his dog was like "I think you need to keep up the pace."

    **** you guys.
  • Oi_Sunshine
    Oi_Sunshine Posts: 819 Member
    "I'll never love you deeply because you don't have nice legs". That was from a bf.

    The answer to this is "Oh, I'm positive you'll never love deeply, but it has nothing to do with my legs."
  • sharris1020
    sharris1020 Posts: 6 Member
    No one ever said anything to my face about my weight when I was heavy. But as I begain to lose the weight someone told me that I looked horable, and that i looked like I was on crack. I was surprised how some people reacted so negitivily to my weight loss. Despite people seeing me walk my *kitten* off, they still made comments and spectulations of me doing negitive and unhealthy things to achieve my weight loss. There are a lot of miserable, classless, and down right mean people in this world, so just ignore them, and stay on track.
  • MarliQQ
    MarliQQ Posts: 112 Member
    When I was in 3X clothing, a lot of fellow fat women would say things to me that I felt were insulting or hurtful. Basically saying, "women like us can't do that" or "us big girls gotta get our fried chicken"...just bizarre if you ask me. Especially when they were strangers to me! I didn't mind it QUITE as badly if it was someone I actually knew.
    ^^ this.

    Coming out of a class with a bunch of a classmates once, I had this guy proclaiming his recent weight loss success and making jokes for all to hear. He reaches a point where he states that he was excited that his thighs didn't rub anymore. He proceeded to nudge me with his elbow and said "Sucks doesn't it?"--with a cocky *kitten* grin. I remember toying in my mind with violence...
  • nyiballs
    nyiballs Posts: 147 Member
    Not mean per se, but little kids truly have the power to cut thru the crap and see it like it is,

    Chalk me up on the list of people who had a child point to me and say that I was fat.
  • fatcity66
    fatcity66 Posts: 1,544 Member
    "I'll never love you deeply because you don't have nice legs". That was from a bf.

    Wow, and that's when you thank your lucky stars...
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