Body shaming at its absolute worst... thoughts please.

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  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member
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    Shaming...be it for weight, smoking, drug addiction...whatever is counterproductive.

    You don't tell someone that they are worthless, and then tell that they are capable of doing something exceptionally difficult.

    What you do tell them:

    You're worthwhile.

    You can do something.

    I'm willing to help you.

    How shall we start?

    This is called coddling and does not work. The question is are u ready to drop the excuses? Ready to work hard sweat and be a tad uncomfortable? Do u really want this?

    The 2 approaches are not mutually exclusive - people can be told they are worthwhile and can do something and also be told it will be uncomfortable and they need to sweat hard at it.

    I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.

    I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.

    Exactly. Why does it have to be either/or? Can we not, as a society, admit that being obese is unhealthy and encourage others to lose weight WITHOUT calling them "fatties" and telling them to "cover up"?? It is very rare that shaming someone actually accomplishes anything. So why do it, other than just to make someone feel bad? Trust me, no fat person looks in the mirror and doesn't know they're fat.

    The most bothersome thing about this thread are those commenting about others' appearance. It's one thing to be concerned about the health of our country, it's another to bash someone b/c they have "dimples" (btw, a lot of thin women have cellulite, should they forgo the shorts too?).

    yes no one wants to see cellulite and dimples on anything fat or thin.

    These things exist, keep them at home, love yourself but the rest of the world does not need to see it and we dont WANT to see it. Keep it at home where it belongs

    I can't stand it when people like you who have been hardened by one thing or another issue these proclamations on what people should do and just what the world does and does not want to see. And of course it's always delivered in an unkind way preceded by an "I'm just being honest." You are being honest but only about your sh1tty world view, not the world. Just because someone isn't disgusted by an imperfect human body doesn't mean they're lying, or coddling, or living a make believe world. Your cold, crappy "reality" is just yours, thank god.

    I love you.
    this

    2v8Gz4d.jpg
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    In.

    (Wait. Was I already in this thread? Oh well, just in case...in.)
  • Barbellarella_
    Barbellarella_ Posts: 454 Member
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    In.

    (Wait. Was I already in this thread? Oh well, just in case...in.)
    no, you weren't. because I just saw it in your news feed.

    Oh, I guess I'm in too, now.
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
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    In one episode of "House". A woman rather keeps the tumor in her stomach to look "plumped" because her husband likes her that way...so I guess there are people who prefer staying the way they are....
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    Oh wow, people wear what they WANT?! And they don't apologise for their fatness and force your poor eyes to look? Christ almighty what a *****. ***** needs to worry about herself and realize that other people aren't here to decorate her world.

    they need to care about themselves, dress appropriately and present their best to the world.

    That's a nice booty call tattoo you've got going there.
  • tryclyn
    tryclyn Posts: 2,414 Member
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    [

    EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!
    Then the problem is within you.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    I don't think shaming people ever motivates them to do anything though.

    I think nearly all people learn all things better through positive reinforcement and encouragement, rather than shaming and punitive measures.
    I will have to disagree with you here.
    My mom started gaining weight slowly in her early 30's. We all have been trying in the most supportive way to get her to eat a little less and healthier, but nothing worked. She was just getting bigger. At 56yo she was about 300lbs (5'7")

    Then one day she met a classmate she hasn't seen in 10 years. He said something like: "Hey, look what you have done to yourself, you are so fat I didn't recognize you"

    Was she mad? Hell yah!! She went home and cried for hours. But then she started desperately searching for a way to lose weight. In 1 year she lost 120lbs, now she has maintained for another year and says she will never go back to being fat. More because she feels much better health wise and enjoys life, but all started with a nasty comment

    Oh look it worked once, it must be more effective

    Even then, a comment like this from someone you've known in your youth is actually not that bad, and the receiver may actually know it's coming from a place of love due to a shared history. I bet this man would blush if he read some of the posts here!
  • trivard676
    trivard676 Posts: 90 Member
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    Body shaming is just another fancy term for bullying. If you body shame others, congratulations! Your social skills have not evolved beyond middle school! It's recess all over again! If it makes you feel any better, use all of the excuses and justifications you like, but the fact of the matter is, you judge people based on their appearance, not on who that person is, their accomplishments or their contributions to the world.

    Some people are happy with their appearance and the way they choose to live their life. It should have absolutely no effect on you one way or the other. Is someone's existence a personal affront to you because of their jiggling? Are you really that concerned that your health care costs will go up in such a way that you will never notice because someone, somewhere is fat?

    I've got some great advice.

    When you see someone whose appearance you just find to be awful, or think that they should take better care of themselves, do the following.

    1. Take a deep breath
    2. Deep breath, let it just fill up your lungs.
    3. Exhale slowly.
    4. Get over it.

    You live your life, teach your children to grow up healthy and strong and lead by example. Leave other people alone. Everyone will be happier, especially you!
  • YamaMaya1
    YamaMaya1 Posts: 49 Member
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    Oh wow, people wear what they WANT?! And they don't apologise for their fatness and force your poor eyes to look? Christ almighty what a *****. ***** needs to worry about herself and realize that other people aren't here to decorate her world.

    they need to care about themselves, dress appropriately and present their best to the world.
    As I said, other people are not here to decorate your world. Spending time commenting on the appearance of others and dictating to others what to and not to wear is time wasted.
  • Quarkles
    Quarkles Posts: 69 Member
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    [

    EVERYONE with any BODY SIZE should dress appropriately! I find thin girls in microbikinis look whoreish, odler women in bikinis look haggard, women who try to hard to be young when they are old are silly looking, and men with guts hanging out the bottom of their t shirt, gross!!!!!!
    Then the problem is within you.

    THIS. Oh, so this.
  • short_nerdy_lady
    short_nerdy_lady Posts: 152
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    This pissed me off so bad.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
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    This pissed me off so bad.

    Not sure if you mean the original article or the thread. But if it was the original article - it was meant to. It was written for a tabloid magazine and the whole intent was to get a reaction.
  • Ashley6278
    Ashley6278 Posts: 46
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    The only body anyone should be worried about is there own! Shamming fat people is wrong and shamming a skinny person is wrong, its also very annoying. Worry about yourself, there is always something else be hide that persons weight. We are more than just a number on a scale. I do think people should eat healthier and exercise more and that's about it, but to each its own at the end of the day.
  • editress
    editress Posts: 25 Member
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    Know wonder this woman has been divorced twice!
  • Bernadette60614
    Bernadette60614 Posts: 707 Member
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    I think that this article has far less to do with an obesity epidemic than it has to do with a writer hoping to become some well paid pundit on some cable TV show.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    I think the author went too far. What's the point in insulting people?

    I can only speak from experience, but the only way I have dug my way out of obesity is to educate myself and make smarter decisions about what/how much food I eat and how much physical activity I get - and BE AWARE of it every single day and I've worked really hard!

    What good does this woman's criticism do? None. Why can't she use her writing skills to write an article, using the same photographs, to be more educating about being healthy and fitness instead of just being plain mean.

    I'm guessing the point was to get a lot of people talking about and reposting the article. Which is what happened.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    I'm not a fan of shame, but I think it's a bit disingenuous to suggest that shaming someone isn't effective to move them toward action.

    For crying out loud there an entire culture of shame in Japan surrounding women and their weight. It's a well studied phenomenon. There is an expectation of thinness, and negative social consequences, and yes shame, for not meeting those expectations. It's been enough to help keep Japanese women reversing the world wide trend of increasing obesity, as they are actually overall getting thinner.

    There are societies and cultures in this world that simply do not tolerate obesity. I know a few people from various Asian cultures where it's common for people to flat out say to a friend or loved one "hey, you got fat". It's expected. The tiptoeing around fat is something that is becoming more pervasive in western societies but it's hardly universal. And the pressure to conform is powerful, and shame can absolutely be a powerful motivator.
  • LessHeavyVeggie
    LessHeavyVeggie Posts: 208 Member
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    Slightly diverging from the topic... but if anyone is interested, here is the ultimate, intelligently written response to the Daily Mail from Amanda Palmer after her nipple 'escaping' at her Glastonbury show was featured in the daily mail...

    http://amandapalmer.net/blog/20130713/

    Watch the video! Although it includes nudity so is not safe for work, but the lyrics are written in underneath.

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