Nagging about saving money for IVF

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  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
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    This thread completes me
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,296 Member
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    Hmm... or he could actually have a real addiction to spending money that actually impairs his ability to recognize how his actions are impeding him.

    And I totally agree that starting a onesided thread on an internet fitness forum is the way to help him and solve the problem. This is obviously for self validation only.
  • laynerich15
    laynerich15 Posts: 1,918 Member
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    Hmm... or he could actually have a real addiction to spending money that actually impairs his ability to recognize how his actions are impeding him.

    Amd I totally agree that starting a onesided thread on an internet fitness forum is the way to help him and solve the problem. This is obviously for self validation only.

    ^^^^^^^ THIS BY 37861476834823649876196`635`6537`6056`0560345604508475 X 36436463634636363
  • Tinyfigure
    Tinyfigure Posts: 575 Member
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    As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

    Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
    I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

    This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    Forums - a place where people go to discuss things that 99.9% of the time have answers elsewhere.

    OP, I understand your desire to have a baby. There's something amazing about carrying a child, feeling it grow inside you, feeling it move and kick, get the hiccups.

    Giving birth to it and staring into their tiny face. Know that this child is a mix of you and your spouse.

    There is something awesome about seeing a mini you running around.

    Adoption is an amazing thing too, and it's wonderful if a child can be given a life that they otherwise may not have had.
    But to insinuate that the OP is wrong for wanting to experience pregnancy and childbirth, is silly.

    Talk to your husband. Work on a budget. Look at ways you can save for this if it is something you both really want.
    $100/month is not going to make or break your goal, so find out what you can do.

    And if debt is something you are open to considering, then see if you can do a blend of savings and debt get where you need to be.

    Decide what is right for you and your hubby, and your future child(ren).
    There has been some great advice here, take what you need and ignore the rest. :)

    ************
    ETA: and sometimes pregnancy is a b!tch. My ex SIL threw up daily for nine months. With each of her three kids.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    in because i will have free time to catch up on all this craziness later.
  • AtmaKing
    AtmaKing Posts: 145 Member
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    Hmm... or he could actually have a real addiction to spending money that actually impairs his ability to recognize how his actions are impeding him.

    And I totally agree that starting a onesided thread on an internet fitness forum is the way to help him and solve the problem. This is obviously for self validation only.

    And then its starts to get others mad becasue people clearly can see what she can't and they can't but we know that she know we know that some know who don't know that she knows she knows he knows.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    LOL! I am being SELFLESS!!! You think its fun taking medications that make you crazy, giving yourself shots, going to apt's every other day? Not really, but you know what? I will do Anything to carry a child in this world. If it doesn't work with IVF, maybe its not meant to be. But no, nothing wrong with being SELFLESS :)
    I'm still not getting how that's selfless... that's me me me me me I"LL DO ANYTHING. That has nothing to do with doing something for someone else- it's completely about doing it because that is what you want. I am in no way judging you- or thinking you're doing the wrong thing- but I am pointing out- it is selfish.
    As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

    Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
    I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

    This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.

    then you probably won't be posting on a public forum then (which is wise- because I agree with you fully)

    but when you do... then- well it's fair game.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Hey! Look! It's a party!

    one-loop-portrait-by-romain-laurent-2.gif
  • laynerich15
    laynerich15 Posts: 1,918 Member
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    As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

    Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
    I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

    This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.



    Look Look Look its an adult, has an issue and is speaking to her husband and not looking for self validation from strangers
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    Twins?
  • bugaboo_sue
    bugaboo_sue Posts: 552 Member
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    Hmm... or he could actually have a real addiction to spending money that actually impairs his ability to recognize how his actions are impeding him.

    Or he really and truly is not on the same page as her. If he had an addiction to spending money he'd be spending it on a lot more than video games, gas, booze and chew. If he was truly on board and it was as important to him as it is to her he would do whatever it took to save the money.
  • warriorprincessdi
    warriorprincessdi Posts: 617 Member
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    LOL! I am being SELFLESS!!! You think its fun taking medications that make you crazy, giving yourself shots, going to apt's every other day? Not really, but you know what? I will do Anything to carry a child in this world. If it doesn't work with IVF, maybe its not meant to be. But no, nothing wrong with being SELFLESS :)
    I'm still not getting how that's selfless... that's me me me me me I"LL DO ANYTHING. That has nothing to do with doing something for someone else- it's completely about doing it because that is what you want. I am in no way judging you- or thinking you're doing the wrong thing- but I am pointing out- it is selfish.

    [/quote]

    selfish (ˈsɛlfɪʃ)

    — adj
    1. chiefly concerned with one's own interest, advantage, etc, esp to the total exclusion of the interests of others
    2. relating to or characterized by self-interest
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    Options
    As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

    Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
    I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

    This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.



    Look Look Look its an adult, has an issue and is speaking to her husband and not looking for self validation from strangers

    why are you so invested in this?
  • DSTMT
    DSTMT Posts: 417 Member
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    So adopting a child isn't rescuing them from the burdens and heartache of a parentless and loveless life? Saving them from foster care, the streets, and helping to instill family values and bonding?

    How motherly of you to pass on all the lemons because you want a "regular" life.

    Well, that's a gross misinterpretation of what I said, but ok. You clearly aren't interested in anything other than being smug because you successfully adopted and "saved a life".

    My point, again, in regards to that is I wasn't going through the process to get a pat on the back for being a hero and "rescuing" a baby, and I don't feel that's really a healthy attitude to have when raising a child, like they're supposed to be grateful to you forever because you picked them up off the curb and took them in out of the magnanimous goodness of your heart. I just wanted a baby, but they pretty well scared us into giving up by the time the process was three quarters finished with horror stories of what we'd be in for.
  • laynerich15
    laynerich15 Posts: 1,918 Member
    Options
    As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

    Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
    I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

    This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.



    Look Look Look its an adult, has an issue and is speaking to her husband and not looking for self validation from strangers

    why are you so invested in this?

    Fun
  • warriorprincessdi
    warriorprincessdi Posts: 617 Member
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    Fun

    :laugh:
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,296 Member
    Options
    LOL! I am being SELFLESS!!! You think its fun taking medications that make you crazy, giving yourself shots, going to apt's every other day? Not really, but you know what? I will do Anything to carry a child in this world. If it doesn't work with IVF, maybe its not meant to be. But no, nothing wrong with being SELFLESS :)
    I'm still not getting how that's selfless... that's me me me me me I"LL DO ANYTHING. That has nothing to do with doing something for someone else- it's completely about doing it because that is what you want. I am in no way judging you- or thinking you're doing the wrong thing- but I am pointing out- it is selfish.
    As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

    Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
    I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

    This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.

    then you probably won't be posting on a public forum then (which is wise- because I agree with you fully)

    but when you do... then- well it's fair game.
    :drinker:
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,296 Member
    Options
    As someone who is infertile, I can only say - people need to stay the hell out of everyone's business, honestly. If people get pregnant and have a child, how fantastic. If people adopt and give a loving home to a child, fantastic. If people want to go the medical route and try to establish a pregnancy, fantastic.

    Every person has a different approach, and nobody should judge them for it, regardless of what way they are going. Medical procedures are not easy and very hard on people mentally, they shouldn't be made to feel like they are inadequate or wrong.
    I've had plenty of people nagging me about adoption, quite literally as if children were stray pets on the street.

    This is for me and my husband to decide, and whatever we will decide (childless/adoption), I will not take judgement from people.



    Look Look Look its an adult, has an issue and is speaking to her husband and not looking for self validation from strangers

    why are you so invested in this?

    Fun
    It's amazing to watch the delusion spread like wildfire, aint it?
  • AtmaKing
    AtmaKing Posts: 145 Member
    Options
    Hmm... or he could actually have a real addiction to spending money that actually impairs his ability to recognize how his actions are impeding him.

    Or he really and truly is not on the same page as her. If he had an addiction to spending money he'd be spending it on a lot more than video games, gas, booze and chew. If he was truly on board and it was as important to him as it is to her he would do whatever it took to save the money.

    QFT

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