Do i have the right to be upset?

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Chibukalu908
Chibukalu908 Posts: 212
in Chit-Chat
My long distance bf was suppose to come this weekend to see me. I was really looking forward to it since its a long weekend which means we will have more time together .However he has Monday to Friday job so he is only available on weekends .As for my job,i a work every second weekend.

I was suppose to work this weekend so I had to get someone else at work to switch shifts with. The lady is going to work my weekend for me and I am going to work the following weekend for her which is overnights. I coudnt find anyone else so I just accepted her overnights shifts even though I hate working nights .I just wanted to be free and spend time with my bf .However, my bf texted me last night and told me that he is not coming anymore because he had a big fight with his mom and he is really mad and he is not in the mood anymore. He told me that he is sorry and ask me to understand.

I am crushed because for one, i had to go through trouble and inconvenience of switching my shifts from work with someone so I can see him.Since I already signed the approval forms I cant really go back to the lady and say never mind lets switch back the shifts.I now have to work overnights shifts for nothing which is going to be hard since I cant sleep well during the day. I told him all this and he didn't respond to my texts.I even tried calling him to see if i can convince him to still come and he didn't answer so it sounds like his mind is made up. I just feel like his excuse is weak for not coming to see me and obviously I cant see him next weekend since I have to work overnight shifts for the lady from work and the following weekend after is my regular weekend to work. I am I overreacting?
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Replies

  • blueboxgeek
    blueboxgeek Posts: 574 Member
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    How long have you been having a distance relationship?

    I would be pretty upset too, but honestly, the not replying to my texts or calls when I told him I was upset would actually pee me off more than anything.

    Hope you can get it sorted x
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,641 Member
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    *assumes you're American and checks constitution.


    Yep, you have the right to be upset. There are limitations on how you may express this however which may need to be covered later.
  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,067 Member
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    long distance sucks, been there, done that. there are going to be situations like this, you just have to deal with it.

    id say you have a right to be sad but not mad, he has to drive to see you so why make the drive if he wont enjoy himself.

    can you perhaps drive to his place?
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    honestly, pretty sure he's lying to you. But to answer your question, yes, I'd be upset.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    I would be upset... but then when I was in an LDR it actually required one of us to be picked up at the airport.
  • Chibukalu908
    Chibukalu908 Posts: 212
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    long distance sucks, been there, done that. there are going to be situations like this, you just have to deal with it.

    id say you have a right to be sad but not mad, he has to drive to see you so why make the drive if he wont enjoy himself.

    can you perhaps drive to his place?

    we live 4 hours away from each other and he was going to take a train to come to see me
  • Chibukalu908
    Chibukalu908 Posts: 212
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    honestly, pretty sure he's lying to you. But to answer your question, yes, I'd be upset.
    yeah something does not sound right.

    that's what my sister said,she thinks its an excuse
  • JeriAnne84
    JeriAnne84 Posts: 543 Member
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    Yeah I think he's lying to you, because he had a fight with his mom and is mad? Why wouldn't he want to get out of there and spend time with you and not be around her?

    You have every right to be mad. Not Lorena Bobbit mad, but miffed.
  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,067 Member
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    long distance sucks, been there, done that. there are going to be situations like this, you just have to deal with it.

    id say you have a right to be sad but not mad, he has to drive to see you so why make the drive if he wont enjoy himself.

    can you perhaps drive to his place?

    we live 4 hours away from each other and he was going to take a train to come to see me
    same question then. can you not take the train to see him? hes the one travelling, he has a right to decide whether he wants to or not

    honestly this is one of the major reasons i will never to a LDR ever again, let alone just having to travel to see someone, situations like these arise where plans are cancelled and theres always some sort of fallout
  • CaddieMay
    CaddieMay Posts: 356 Member
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    He sounds immature, and possibly dishonest. Break it off now and save yourself further heartache.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    Apparently, his priorities differ from yours.
  • baba_helly
    baba_helly Posts: 810 Member
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    You can be upset for whatever reason you want, you are not required to react a certain way to the situation. Would I be upset if this were my experience? Yes, I would be disappointed and it would bother me if my communication attempts were ignored.
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
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    You always have the right to feel the way you feel. Everyone is different and everyone reacts differently. (I know it sounds cliche, but so true.)

    Truthfully, I would be upset too. I've never done the long distance thing and don't think I could. I know others that it works for, but not me.

    I'm very cautious when it comes to my heart and unfortunately will probably never totally fall for someone ever again. I was married 10 years and been divorced about 8 years. -My brain tends to take over almost all my decisions and my heart takes a back seat.

    GoodLuck
  • Jess__I__Can
    Jess__I__Can Posts: 307 Member
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    Break up.

    Do not make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
  • CupcakeCrusoe
    CupcakeCrusoe Posts: 1,382 Member
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    I'm in an LDR. Sometimes things don't work out. Stuff sucks. But if he's really ticked at his current situation, he doesn't want to share that attitude with you maybe?

    However, the not responding to calls is not the right way to handle it. No more begging for him to come down, just tell him how ticked you now are at his uncommunicative-ness. That's a word. Yeah.
  • Lemongrab13
    Lemongrab13 Posts: 206 Member
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    He's either really immature, or he's full of *kitten*.
    He fought with his mom so he can't come?
    Is he a teenager?
  • Jess__I__Can
    Jess__I__Can Posts: 307 Member
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    You always have the right to feel the way you feel.

    This. Your feelings are just that - YOURS.
  • Laurenloveswaffles
    Laurenloveswaffles Posts: 535 Member
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    How old is he? If he still lives with his momma, then you probably shouldn't be dating him. Especially since you're 29.

    It sounds like he's lying. Dump him.

    I'm in a long distance relationship, and it does suck. But we are making it work.
  • Jlew64
    Jlew64 Posts: 13 Member
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    honestly, pretty sure he's lying to you. But to answer your question, yes, I'd be upset.
    yeah something does not sound right.

    that's what my sister said,she thinks its an excuse

    Listen to your sister! What does a fight with mom have to do with seeing you? And then not responding to you? BIG red flag.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I would be angry, too. Not sure what you can do about it. Maybe get together with girlfriends and enjoy your time off.

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