Can your SO access your phone?

Both my boyfriend and I lock our phones, and we're both semi-aware of each others pass codes; we're both awful for forgetting what order they go in, but we know the numbers. We don't spend a lot of time on each others phones, and I've never snooped through his texts nor he through mine.

BUT...
I did go through his facebook messages once, about a year ago. I had a bad gut feeling and my boyfriend was acting really shadily about some of the women in his life. I looked at it as having two options: I could assume he was cheating and end it since I was feeling distrustful of him and knew he wasn't giving me whole truths, or I could look and see what the messages were and make a decision on if it was something I thought we could get through. Even if I'd found nothing, I planned on telling him that I'd done it either way and dealing with the fallout of that. I found a lot, however. Messages with about 7 different women, the majority of whom he'd previously slept with; flirting, asking for nude pictures, bad mouthing me, etc.

I'm glad I checked. And while I'm sure I'll get flack from people here for doing that, it was the best decision for my relationship. It's now a year later and we're a lot more open with each other, he tells me when his ex's start getting flirty, and seeing how hurt I was by what happened last time, he tells me about shutting them down. He's offered to show me conversations since of him doing so, but I've always turned him down. We re-built that trust that was lost on both ends: him, by almost cheating, and me by snooping. That doesn't mean that I don't get that random sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when he mentions the specific one he went the farthest with that happens to work with him, but it does mean that I trust him enough right now not to look. And I think that if I ever got to the point where I felt the way I did a year ago, that he was being shady and I wasn't getting full truths, I'd just end the relationship, because I likely already know what I'd find.

My husband locked his phone, kept it on him while sleeping/showering/walkinganywhereawayfrommeforanyamountoftime. He forgot once, and I checked his phone to see if he had some pictures I had wanted upload to Facebook. Nope, entire folders of nudes and calls from his ex girlfriend. We are now going through a divorce.

Exactly how my ex was...just he didn't talk to his ex gf, it was his best friends wife

Yup. at first I be all like,


and then she be all like,


and then I be all like,


and then I give it to her and she sees that the only noodz I been gettin is from DerpDiggler and she don't even care because then we both be all like.

WINNER!

So, if you lock your phone, does your SO have access to it? If not...why?

Sure. Anyone can access my phone. Just hold on a second...

I think it depends on how the other person feels about it.

I snoop through my bf's phone and he snoops through mine. Neither of us expects to find anything so we're not doing it because we're suspicious of the other person (believe me, we've been together 7 years, there is a mountain of trust between us). It's just out of curiosity. We're separated during the work day so I'm just interested in how his day went, who he's been chatting with, etc. It's never in a malicious fashion.

i always wanna know how my wife's day went too.


so i ask her, and then we have a conversation about our days.


weird.

I do still ask him. It's not like we don't communicate normally - It's just that we've always shared everything, so looking at each other's phones isn't strange to us. We're extremely open with one another so I don't care if he looks at my phone and he doesn't care if he looks at mine.

Hell, I used to get him to check my Facebook for me and he would do the same if I were the one going on the computer. So I guess that's where it really started from. And if I get a text message and he's closer to my phone, I'll ask him to check it and respond for me.

Absolutely she can access my phone. Without her and my kids helping me with the frickin' thing, I couldn't make it work. Mine does have a passcode but they all know the code.

After 22 yrs. of marriage, if she hasn't seen it or heard it by now......

I think it depends on how the other person feels about it.

I snoop through my bf's phone and he snoops through mine. Neither of us expects to find anything so we're not doing it because we're suspicious of the other person (believe me, we've been together 7 years, there is a mountain of trust between us). It's just out of curiosity. We're separated during the work day so I'm just interested in how his day went, who he's been chatting with, etc. It's never in a malicious fashion.

While I like your use of that Maury meme, I'm not lying. You can't have a successful, long-lasting relationship without trust. We have trust.

Mine is codeless and I know the code for his. Our phones just kind of lie around to be used whenever necessary. If we snoop or feel the need to look through something it is usually mentioned "mind if I see yadda yadda...".

Plus, if any female would inappropriately text him it is usually me who is like "ohhhh see if she will send nudies" and then if she is hot I will usually invite her out to stare at her awkwardly. I am far more creepy and interested in naked girls than he is.

Some friends of mine just went through this where one locked her phone, the bf got jealous, a fight ensued with the "culprit", and the bf almost ended up in jail for assault. All ended up being over nothing. The sad thing is there is a 6 mo old baby involved who is suffering the consequences of the adults' bad behavior.

My SO has my code, I have nothing to hide. And I have his code. But we've never felt the need to go through each others phones since we trust each other.

My ex grilled me on every woman I knew on FB before I met her, if they were slimmer than her.

1. Had I slept with them?

2. Had I any desire to sleep with them?

I was encouraged to unfriend them, even though she had tons of platonic male friends....and ended up cheating on me with one of them!

Like I said, I'm single so I no longer have that problem.