Can your SO access your phone?

i think its ****ing nuts that people commit to sharing their lives and beds with someone but not their phones. wtf.

I think it's ****ing nuts that someone would demand to read my private conversations at all times.

I have to agree with this. But maybe this is why I'm still single. I wouldn't have anything to hide in a relationship and they could look all they want, however, I would say texts between my friends and I are off limits, not because I'm hiding something but my what my friends share is their business to share it NOT mine. What they tell me is in confidence even if it's just what time we're meeting somewhere. Chances are I'd tell my SO where I was meeting someone and who, but any info my friend shares with me in a text/email is their business. If I found out I told my BFF a secret and she let her SO read that info, I'd be kinda pissed off. Even if I like the dude, even if I know he wouldn't do anything with the info. I shared that with my BFF, NOT my BFF and their SO.

Why do people think/want to know every single thing their SO said in the course of a day to someone else? Seriously, I say some pretty boring things all day.

I completely agree.

My husband and I know the codes for the locks, but rarely use each others phones unless it's for GPS or checking something like an event page while we're on the road to remember the address. Derp.

I do have wicked anxiety stemming from an affair though, which made me paranoid about his phone usage. Even with time, I still worry whenever he takes his phone with him to the bathroom when we're out or when he smiles at something on the screen when he's checking it... /shrugs

It sucks what a past affair can do to you, even when your SO is completely different and would never give you a reason to think otherwise. This happened to me. My ex was chill with his phone and me using it when we were friends, but as soon as we became a couple, he got all secretive. His favorite line was "I don't have any thing to hide" as he would guard his phone with his life. I have pretty good intuition too, so one day, the last day, I looked at a phone (he had two) he left while he took a shower and sure enough the most disgusting messages (from multiple "girls") were on there as well as all his contacts were abbreviated. Like I said... it was the last day.

I blame a lot of it on myself, even though I shouldn't but I never had a voice with that guy, so I wound up getting walked all over. I learned though. My SO, fiance, whatever, now knows what happened and we both are very open with each other. I don't snoop through his phone, but he never gave me a reason too. We know each other passwords and let each other know what we are doing on our phones while in each other presence. Something my SO actually told me in the very beginning of our relationship stuck with me and always will, 'the little things truly matter, and if you can help it, don't be suspicious, don't do things to make the other jealous or even have the thought that something is going on.' We have both come from being royally cheated on, and I think that's why we have a respect for each like that. When you've put your heart out there, like really love some, and they crush you like that. It's hard to learn to trust again.

I'm not for snooping, I don't like it, but when the person your with is obviously hiding something... I believe it's worth looking into. When you let some one hold onto something as valuable as your heart and love, you need to make sure its in the right hands.

Kinda glad I got that out hahah.

When you refuse to allow your spouse to see what you're doing w/ your phone, what you're doing on the Internet, or (worst case) keep financial information from your spouse, you are messin' up somewhere, and you know it. You don't hide things from the person closest to you w/o a reason. Maybe it IS a good reason, but in most cases, I'd doubt it. Most of us conceal things we know are wrong or make us ashamed, not utterly innocent behavior....

Sabine, you may have a valid reason, but what you're offering up for your husband is garbage. I've been working in the defense industry for decades. Unless he's a screw-up, your man isn't talking any sensitive government business on his phone - period. End of story. The government provides it's own channels of communication for it's own business, and that's what you use....

As I said in a post earlier, I wouldn't let my SO read my posts between me and my BFF. Not because there is something to hide, but because her business is her business and she shared it with me, she didn't say I can share it with anyone else. It's HER place to share her own business...not mine.

Without trying to sound crude ... she gives me complete access to her vagina. The least I can do is offer her complete access to my electronics.

LMAO

nothing to add

Without trying to sound crude ... she gives me complete access to her vagina. The least I can do is offer her complete access to my electronics.

LMAO

nothing to add

I was wondering, if he doesn't 'snoop,' first?

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My husband locked his phone, kept it on him while sleeping/showering/walkinganywhereawayfrommeforanyamountoftime. He forgot once, and I checked his phone to see if he had some pictures I had wanted upload to Facebook. Nope, entire folders of nudes and calls from his ex girlfriend. We are now going through a divorce.

and this is exactly what every girlfriend is afraid of when he wont leave his phone anywhere even for a minute. the question is, can something like this really be innocent? it seems more like a 99% chance that hes got something to hide.

My ex didn't know how Photo Stream worked. I didn't need his phone; all the pictures of his woman friend were on our iPad.

Oh the idiocity is making me laugh...

Now THAT comment Alanis, is ironic.

My husband locked his phone, kept it on him while sleeping/showering/walkinganywhereawayfrommeforanyamountoftime. He forgot once, and I checked his phone to see if he had some pictures I had wanted upload to Facebook. Nope, entire folders of nudes and calls from his ex girlfriend. We are now going through a divorce.

and this is exactly what every girlfriend is afraid of when he wont leave his phone anywhere even for a minute. the question is, can something like this really be innocent? it seems more like a 99% chance that hes got something to hide.

There's a big difference between locking his phone as a general security precaution and keeping his girlfriend/wife away from his phone at all costs. If he flies across the room out of fear that you might pick it up to so much as check the time then yeah, there may be something more going on here.

I don't find anything suspicious about locking the phone in general, but I do find it kind of suspicious if your s/o won't allow you to go in his/ her phone to get a number you might need, grab a photo,or for some other legit reason. That just wouldn't fly with me.

glad to see that im not the only one who feels this way.

id love to hear from the guys on this subject. do you ever lock your GF/wife out of your phone when you really have nothing to hide?

I do not lock my phone. My GF will use my phone sometimes because her's will die and she does not hide or lock hers either. But when I was married, things were different. Wife at the time locked phone, kept it with her or by her side at all times. I finally was able to see the phone bill and saw how many phone calls and text messages were sent to a certain number. After seeing this I did some more investigating and finally saw the truth. Moved out within two days and now officially divorced. You must have trust in a relationship, or it will never work.

Absolutely. I wouldn't care. And he is the same.

I always lock my phone because I work with *kitten*.

If my SO was suspicious of my behavior, I would expect him to be man enough to ask directly for an explanation. Snooping is for little girls and people who already do not trust. If this guy was annoyed or concerned by her actual behavior around him, why not discuss that with her?

In my case, I WAS suspicious of my exboyrfiend and I resisted the snooping urge for a year and I probed and asked and discussed and each time he denied everything and tried to make me feel guilty for even ASKING such a thing. By the time I snooped, there wasn't any trust left. The snooping and finding the "evidence" was just the confirmation I needed to give myself the peace of mind to move on.