Dumped for being 'TOO FAT" :(

Options
1…5681011

Replies

  • carnavore
    carnavore Posts: 65
    Options
    Don't worry what goes around, comes around. If he dumped you for this reason, do you really want him in your life? Probably not.
  • jillymarie101379
    jillymarie101379 Posts: 3
    Options
    Everybody here is speaking nothing but truth. Screw that guy if that's what he needs is a trophy to be proud of. And if that's the case, he probably wasn't all that into you for you in the first place. Take the high road and be done wit it.
    I am about to be 35, and there are plenty of men out there! Trust me. He isn't the end all be all. He is a ****ty dude with a ****ty reason to leave.
    My heart goes out to you. This happened to me when I was in my twenties. I freaked out and did everything I could think of to get that "hot" guy back. You know what? I made a huge fool out of myself for nothing. He was a jerk too, I was just too blind by the IDEA of love (fear) to see it. Live and learn.
    It may hurt now, but you'll see a better day. <3
  • evelyn150
    evelyn150 Posts: 6 Member
    Options
    great words of wisdom!! I love it!
  • SapiensPisces
    SapiensPisces Posts: 1,001 Member
    Options
    Don't worry what goes around, comes around. If he dumped you for this reason, do you really want him in your life? Probably not.

    ^ this.

    Someone who doesn't want you anymore after you make mistakes and gain weight isn't cut out for a lifetime-long commitment.

    Take this time to do some self reflection on what YOU want in yourself and a partner, and focus on improving your health.
  • Wenchiness
    Wenchiness Posts: 126 Member
    Options
    If that is your face in the photo you don't have to worry that no one will want you. Welcome to MFP, and while you feel like you love that arseclown that just dumped you, ask why? Do you really want such a shallow loser in your life. Read the success stories here, come join us, be one of us. Get your life together, and in 80 lbs show that superficial craphead what he's missing, while you're riding high on life!
  • Coltsforlife
    Coltsforlife Posts: 124
    Options
    Dang I have been dumped via text message before ! so scandalous but now you can focus solely on yourself ! good luck
  • LAT1963
    LAT1963 Posts: 1,375 Member
    Options
    I was dumped for a model with a 23inch waist. She will probably be dumped for someone younger. These guys only want what other people value. So they really only value the opinions of other men. Maybe they should just date those other men whose values they love so much?

    This is so true. There are men out there who want what their friends consider a good looking woman on their arm so that their status amidst their male friends increases, not because of the rewards of intimacy with a woman. (aside: I imagine there are similar guys among the gay population--dating for status not intimacy--but I've only personally noticed the straight ones). They haven't outgrown the teenage "Bros before hoes" garbage.
  • angelique_redhead
    angelique_redhead Posts: 782 Member
    Options
    He has probably already picked out a new woman and was just looking for an excuse. He's not worth crying over and you will find someone better. He just doesn't want you to be able to see that he's already hooked up with someone else and has been seeing her for months. *HUGS* If he hasn't then he's very shallow and not worth having anyway.
    Hi everybody. Im new to this site, just joined 2 days ago but I need some support or advice. Last weekend my boyfriend told me that I was too fat to go out with him. He doesn't find me attractive and he likes the old me who was about 80 lbs thinner. I gained weight because I had a horseback riding accident that cause two of my discs to herniate. I need to surgery and during the recovery I could do a lot so I packed on some weight. I realized I need to loose it awhile ago and was starting to workout and eat better. Now, since he dumped me I wish I could just lose it all in one week and he would want me back. I know that's impossible. How can someone dump you just because you gained a little weight? We have struggles and I never dumped him when he was a bit chubbier once. Im just so hurt. I think I have cried about 5 lbs of water out. I feel so ugly and horrible right now. I am going to do whatever it takes to loose this weight. I know that I have to loose it for myself but I cant help but think he would like me again if I was back to were I was about a year and a half ago. Im also 35 years old and I feel like I won't meet anyone else. I really thought we would end up together. Does anyone have any advice or words of wisdom for me? My ex deleted me of his facebook and told me via text that it was a good idea we talk to each other anymore. He wish me the best of luck. I just feel horrible...
  • alereck
    alereck Posts: 343 Member
    Options
    And I thought my husband was an *kitten*.

    It might not seem like that now but stay strong, lose the weight for a better you, go on with your life, find someone worth being with and when you look back at this you will be thankful.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,783 Member
    Options
    Use it for motivation to loose and get your sexy back and show him what he's missing out on. You will be able to find someone who will treat you right. You don't need negative in your life, no one does. Use it to motivate you. Instead of letting it hurt you, let it piss you off. Get angry, really angry and fuel your workouts with it.
  • Appollom
    Appollom Posts: 4
    Options
    Sometimes it can be hard to hear, but he more than likely chose someone else. At the end of the day, it is his right to be or not be with you. No one should feel 'forced' into a situation that is no longer comfortable for them, and 80 lbs was probably past the limit of acceptable terms for staying in the relationship. The reasons are his own, and however shallow they may seem, everyone has free will. We can't just make people love us, that's a convoluted fairytale notion that we women need to extricate ourselves from.

    Just be glad that you dodged a bullet. From the looks of it, you are a beautiful woman inside and out. Maybe he will be the one later to regret his decision to move on. But it would be ill-advised to lose weight to try and lure him back. Exacting revenge by looking good for a man who didn't care when you were down on your luck will just frustrate you even more and lead back to those comfort eating behaviors. Do it because you want to take control of your health, address issues of codependency on your part, keep a food diary so that you are accountable for your food choices, and focus on being your best self and living a life that is great regardless of whether there is a man involved or not.

    I hope that you find your happily ever after. Like everyone else has said, he didn't sound like a real winner anyway. You didn't say you had any health issues that led up to the weight gain, but let's imagine that you did. Would you really want to marry someone who was not supportive? Did he ever offer to make lifestyle changes with you so that you could both be healthy? If the answer is 'no', then you really ought to make it a point to reevaluate why this person is taking such a precedence in your emotional life. That's all he is, is a person. No more, no less. Get back on track and do the things you love and enjoy. It'll be alright.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
    Options
    Congrats, however much he weighed, that's how much you've lost that you needed gone. Carry on losing whatever you want to lose for your own self, but the hard part is over.

    This!
  • stephanieross1
    stephanieross1 Posts: 388 Member
    Options
    Honestly.m F*** HIM. if you really want to spend he rest of your life with someone who is has superficial to dump you for your weight, thats crazy. Kudos for beginning this journey to lose weight, but you are beautiful, you will find someone who will love you for who you are not what size you are. At least this is the motivation to make a change
  • bloodyhonest
    bloodyhonest Posts: 196 Member
    Options
    If you want to stay with a guy who doesn't find you attractive and worthy etc, then you aren't being very respectful to yourself. I suggest you take this time to build your confidence.

    You only want to be with this person because you feel that you can't do any better. This feeling is temporary and once you're over this guy you will feel silly for the way you feel right now. Take a moment to look at things objectively, and then you can start to improve your life.

    p.s. confidence will get you many men and women
  • ShadowFallRising
    ShadowFallRising Posts: 15 Member
    Options
    To HELL with that guy! You don't need self-absorbed *kitten* like that in your life. Find someone who will like you for YOU, no matter how you look. He doesn't know what he's missing. His loss, really. Just stay focused and positive, and Mr. Right will come into your life, in time. Don't get discouraged! :)
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
    Options
    Staying with someone who is not at all attracted to you and who does not love you is WORSE, believe me I've been there. I actually had to be the one to dump him because he stayed with me even though he made it clear that he was repulsed by my weight and that he thought he deserved better! Frankly, I was the one who deserved better. I deserved to be with someone who loved me.

    Believe me he's done you a favor he's set you free to find someone who will love you no matter what.

    Since ridding myself of this horrible man, I have lost 120 pounds and met and married a man who truly loves me. Yes my husband openly admits that he enjoys a woman with a "little extra" but he's been very supportive of my weigh loss efforts because he wants me to be healthy and active.
  • antoniodean
    antoniodean Posts: 120
    Options
    shame on him. My ex wife is a nurse. She is in a similar situation. Stressed at worked, gained weight. I told her all the time how beautiful she was/is despite the weight gain. I didn't marry her because she had a banging body which she does and I'm sure you do too but her personality was too good to pass up. I lost in the end because she let her self-esteem get so low that she took it out on me. Go figure a guy who could care less how much you gained as long as a person has confidence within themselves. All others who have a problem with me whether I'm big, skinny, not tall enough, not white enough, not black enough can just go to H**ll. You can't please everyone and you shouldn't even try. Just be yourself and some guy is
    gonna appreciate you for more than what you look like or how many extra pounds you have.

    Peace

    Antoniodean

    good luck with the weight loss though. I find cycling to be a real stress reliever and you will lose a few as well
  • donald149
    donald149 Posts: 211 Member
    Options
    I'm not going to tell you anything you didn't know already.... But you know he didn't dump you because of the weight. That was merely an excuse. It would have ended badly anyway. The good news is that you now have the opportunity to find yourself and start over. Get it over and call it a lesson learned. You need to find your own life to live and enjoy before looking for a another other guy. That 'he completes me' crap is only good in movies. If you need someone like him to make you happy, there lies the problem.
  • jenniemomx4
    jenniemomx4 Posts: 2
    Options
    He's a coward for blaming it on your weight. I GUARANTEE that it's not what it is the problem. IF your relationship was rock solid and everything was perfect...and you gained weight...he would be concerned about your health but wouldn't dump you BECAUSE of your weight IF he truly loved you. I know it's hard to hear but....you don't need that kind of person in your life. IF he can't be there through THICK or thin....then he's shallow and does not truly love you. RESPECT YOURSELF AND LOVE YOURSELF enough to move on without him. Believe me, he is not the kind of person you want to be with for the rest of your life. Imagine if you have kids and one of them is born with a birth defect....he'd wanna ditch them because they aren't perfect too? My guess is....he's found someone else and finds it much easier to just blame it on your weight. Let that one go. Not worth it. Cut wayyyyy back on carbs & sugar and add tons of fiber and water to your diet and you'll start losing quickly. I've lost 6 lbs in the past two weeks by just cutting out crap in my diet. (triglycerides were 1282...supposed to be under 150) Good luck.
  • jenniemomx4
    jenniemomx4 Posts: 2
    Options
    I couldn't agree more!!! Hit it right on the nose!

Categories