Dating someone 22 years older?

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  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
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    if his wife doesnt mind, i say go for it.
  • JONZ64
    JONZ64 Posts: 1,280 Member
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    I know I'm an adult and I shouldn't care what the public thinks. I was honestly just asking since I don't have parents to ask and I didn't know who else to ask.

    I guess the question should have been more like 'if you had a 20 year old daughter would you approve of her dating a 42yo'

    NO! If I had a 20yr old Daughter I would beat the 42yr old senseless and if some 42 yr old Cougar went after my 20 yr old son I would have my wife beat her senseless. People always say "Age is just a number" but They're wrong! It's life lived, it's experience and it does matter. Why would a grown adult go after a child. Yes 20 is a child (or should be ) to a 42 yr old man. In your twenties you are finding your way in life. Finding your likes & dislikes, who you are , who you want to be, having adventures. At 42 you should be settled into life.
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
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    I know I'm an adult and I shouldn't care what the public thinks. I was honestly just asking since I don't have parents to ask and I didn't know who else to ask.

    I guess the question should have been more like 'if you had a 20 year old daughter would you approve of her dating a 42yo'

    NO! If I had a 20yr old Daughter I would beat the 42yr old senseless and if some 42 yr old Cougar went after my 20 yr old son I would have my wife beat her senseless. People always say "Age is just a number" but They're wrong! It's life lived, it's experience and it does matter. Why would a grown adult go after a child. Yes 20 is a child (or should be ) to a 42 yr old man. In your twenties you are finding your way in life. Finding your likes & dislikes, who you are , who you want to be, having adventures. At 42 you should be settled into life.

    F that. Im 43, if a 42yo tried to date my daughter, id beat the ever living crap out of the guy. He should know better. Rule of thumb...half your age +7.
  • Alastair007
    Alastair007 Posts: 673 Member
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    Some people never find happiness. If you are happy and have found love you probably have more than most, no matter how long you have it ...............enjoy the moment who knows where it will take you.
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
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    If it makes you happy.. Sure, go for it. What are a bunch of strangers on MFP going to say that will change your mind? Were you possibly wanting to here that it wasn't a good idea?
  • JustAnotherGirlSuzanne
    JustAnotherGirlSuzanne Posts: 932 Member
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    My husband's grandma married a man 18 years her senior. He's passed away now but she still refers to him as her sweetheart. There really aren't any rules when it comes to that.
  • BekaBooluvsu
    BekaBooluvsu Posts: 470 Member
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    When I was 18 I dated a 42 year old man. I didn't think it was awkward at all but he did, so we ended it. If you are both happy, then who cares. In my experience, older men are calmer in general,
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
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    GROSS!!! Unless I'm the one who is 42....
  • bciloveme2014
    bciloveme2014 Posts: 213 Member
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    No, I would not date a person 22 years older than me. My sister did it and at the beginning everything was fine, but like a year later, she was complaining that he was boring , sick and needed a lots help to have sexual activity. O.P. depends of how serious you want to take this relationship, and if you are willing give up all the fun things that a 20 year old girl can do.
  • kristanvdub
    kristanvdub Posts: 50 Member
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    From personal experience I would say don't do it. You're still young and changing and becoming you. He's done with that and he isn't going to be willing to change who he is as a person for you.

    Also and I'm sorry to say this but there's really only one reason why men that much older want to spend time with girls that much younger than them. While I am sure there are exceptions to that rule I find that hard to believe,

    I've been through this crap twice and I finally learned not to go there ever again. But my main and biggest reason is that the ego that goes with this type of guy the "Hey look at me I have this beautiful young girl, look at me look at me!" type thing.

    Just be careful but if I were you I'd run.
  • fattymcrunnerpants
    fattymcrunnerpants Posts: 311 Member
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    Crazy but I wouldn't care if my daughter dated someone 42 when she's 20. Especially if she does find someone like her daddy. Someone who loves her, supports her, and makes her happy. As long as she's happy why should I worry myself?
  • 347Gigi
    347Gigi Posts: 99 Member
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    I would just like to know where the "half your age plus 7" rule came from.......
  • aurorareigns
    aurorareigns Posts: 167
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    I would just like to know where the "half your age plus 7" rule came from.......

    That's what I was wondering.
  • LoneWolf_70
    LoneWolf_70 Posts: 1,151 Member
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    I would just like to know where the "half your age plus 7" rule came from.......

    Man Rule 3.29 Sorry I cant give you more info than that or I violate Man Rule 1.1
  • 5stringjeff
    5stringjeff Posts: 790 Member
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    20 dating 42: 1. Hello daddy issues. 2. Either he's reallllly immature or they have a very surface relationship. I was an extremely mature 20 year old, but I still can't see myself having had anything in common with someone age 42. The fact that you're asking the internet also speaks volumes (as in, "I want reasons why this isn't a good idea")

    This.
  • minimalistmom
    minimalistmom Posts: 137
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    I think this is one of those things where everyone is like "yeah go for it!" "age doesnt matter"....but I mean really...its awkward and bizarre.

    This is what I was thinking.
  • mandyosetti
    mandyosetti Posts: 72 Member
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    My father married a wonderful woman who was almost 25 years younger than him and all was well for nearly 20 years. However, once my dad was older (in his mid 60's) and she was in her late 30's it became a problem. He was slowing down and she still had a lot of life left to live. She left him a couple of years later and he was heartbroken. You have to do what makes you happy but in my opinion (because you're asking) it's too much.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    What do you think about someone who is 20, dating someone who is 42.

    I really need advice.

    Wow, old genitals. Much parenty.
  • 1HappyRedhead
    1HappyRedhead Posts: 413 Member
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    20 dating 42: 1. Hello daddy issues. 2. Either he's reallllly immature or they have a very surface relationship. I was an extremely mature 20 year old, but I still can't see myself having had anything in common with someone age 42. The fact that you're asking the internet also speaks volumes (as in, "I want reasons why this isn't a good idea")

    Fast forward 25 years:

    45 year old dating a 67 year old: He's elderly and she's still rearing to go. Resentment. Declining health. Life in your 40s is about travel, kids all out of the house, doing things you put off while you were establishing yourselves.

    Also, think of children. If the 20 year old wants kids, they will never get the time with their dad that other kids have. This will also lead to resentment. If they waited 4-5 years to have kids (which is about average), when said child is 8 years old and wants to play baseball or go to the park or interact with dad.. dad will be 55 years old. He'll be dead before the kid hits 30 years old (based on average life expectancy of US Males being 77.4 yrs). My husband had an elderly father. His dad was in his 40s when he was born. It meant that his dad couldn't go on boy scout trips or show him how to play sports or even wrestle. His dad died when my husband was 26. My husband's mom is 15 years younger and spent most of the years before her husband's death whining about how she was married to an elderly man, how she'd have to take care of him for all of her good years. It was a miserable situation.

    Not to mention don't women ~40, start having their sex drive ramp up??

    ^YES... and even more at 50.... and I don't see a "ramp down" coming anytime soon!! :wink:
  • Cudleigh
    Cudleigh Posts: 188 Member
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    The way I see it, when he was your age, you weren't even born yet. That just seems odd to me. If you want to date someone older, who cares? Go for it. No one can stop you. That being said, you'll probably get asked 39430 times if he's your father when you go out together. So have fun with that.

    I usually say +/- 5 or half your age + 7. Though, personally I won't go younger ever again.

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