Judging people and their weight

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pdubz
pdubz Posts: 7 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Just watched a show on TV where this "Doctor" is saying that people are fat because they want to be. That is such BS. I don't know one person, including myself, who wakes up every morning and says...."Hey, I want to stuff my face and be fat, so that people can stare at me, and judge me". Some of these doctors are complete idiots. Being fat is NOT the problem with most people. It's just a symptom of the problem. Many people eat excessively because of emotional issues, depression, loneliness, to find comfort etc. It makes me angry that people are so quick to judge others without knowing their story or walking even a block in their shoes. Hate it!
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Replies

  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
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    I understand what you are saying. However, what the doctor was saying is also true...for whatever reason someone is obese or overweight, that 'need' to use food as a balm for emotional issues, depression, loneliness, etc. can be construed as a 'want'. When the 'need/want' to resolve the weight to a healthy normal is greater than the need to soothe, weight loss can happen.
  • vismal
    vismal Posts: 2,463 Member
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    I don't think it's fair to say people "want" to be fat. No one really "wants" to be fat. People do however "choose" to be fat. I agree with all the issue you stated that can lead to becoming overweight but it is the individual's choice to allow those issues to dictate what they eat. All of those issues can be handled in ways other than eating. It is in our choices that we define ourselves.
  • __freckles__
    __freckles__ Posts: 1,238 Member
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    I don't think it's fair to say people "want" to be fat. No one really "wants" to be fat. People do however "choose" to be fat. I agree with all the issue you stated that can lead to becoming overweight but it is the individual's choice to allow those issues to dictate what they eat. All of those issues can be handled in ways other than eating. It is in our choices that we define ourselves.

    Can't add much to this so just Q'ingFT.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    I don't think it's fair to say people "want" to be fat. No one really "wants" to be fat. People do however "choose" to be fat. I agree with all the issue you stated that can lead to becoming overweight but it is the individual's choice to allow those issues to dictate what they eat. All of those issues can be handled in ways other than eating. It is in our choices that we define ourselves.

    Agreed. And I agree as someone who has been fat their entire adult life. Barring physical and medical issues that cause weight gain or hinder loss, we *choose* to get fat, stay fat, or no longer be fat. There are a huge amoung of factors, but in the end, it comes down to choice. If you believe you cannot lose weight because of circumstances beyond your control, you have made the choice to give up that control. It's still a choice.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
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    A lot of people don't want to be poor either, but don't lift a finger to educate themselves and invest their money wisely. If you want something badly enough then you work for it. Period.
  • __freckles__
    __freckles__ Posts: 1,238 Member
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    Just watched a show on TV where this "Doctor" is saying that people are fat because they want to be. That is such BS. I don't know one person, including myself, who wakes up every morning and says...."Hey, I want to stuff my face and be fat, so that people can stare at me, and judge me". Some of these doctors are complete idiots. Being fat is NOT the problem with most people. It's just a symptom of the problem. Many people eat excessively because of emotional issues, depression, loneliness, to find comfort etc. It makes me angry that people are so quick to judge others without knowing their story or walking even a block in their shoes. Hate it!

    Curious, what TV show was it?
  • stephgas
    stephgas Posts: 159 Member
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    A lot of people don't want to be poor either, but don't lift a finger to educate themselves and invest their money wisely. If you want something badly enough then you work for it. Period.

    ergh, if someone is homeless on the street and in poverty, education and wise investments don't help much. and of course, education costs a lot in some countries, so those in poverty cannot always afford education.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
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    A lot of people don't want to be poor either, but don't lift a finger to educate themselves and invest their money wisely. If you want something badly enough then you work for it. Period.

    ergh, if someone is homeless on the street and in poverty, education and wise investments don't help much. and of course, education costs a lot in some countries, so those in poverty cannot always afford education.

    Homelessness is often a mental health problem which is a separate issue from a decision by a person who is capable to help oneself. By the same token, if a person is suffering from mental health problems and they are self-medicating with food, then they need to be getting help for that. I don't think it would be fair, however, to paint obesity generally as a mental health problem.
  • cathuman
    cathuman Posts: 2
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    This is true - to an extent. This discussion is based on the idea that these choices are at the same level of difficulty for everyone. However, and there is plenty of scientific research to back this up, it's likely, statistically speaking, that people who are chronically overweight also are dealing with certain additional struggles: (1) metabolic dysfunction which makes them more likely than others to store fat; (2) pleasure circuits in their brain which are wired to get as much pleasure from eating unhealthy food as other people do from addictive drugs; (3) economic hardship - remember that bad food is cheaper than good food in the US; (4) a history of depression or significant psychological trauma. None of these issues, with the possible exception of #3, are that person's fault, they are NOT a choice. And even #3 is usually a combination of personal choices and structural circumstances.

    I am lucky enough to have friends who never judge me for what I look like but also welcome and support the idea of me getting healthier - they know I don't "choose" to be unhealthy, even though sometimes I make bad food or exercise choices. My thinner friends also make bad health choices, like smoking or drinking too much, but they don't wear those bad choices on their body in the same way that I do.

    (And don't be all like "but it was hard for me too!" because of course it was. There are different degrees of hardship. Just because it was hard for you to lose weight doesn't mean it's not EVEN WORSE for someone else with a lot of these other factors going against them. We live in an obesogenic society. The only people who find it easy to lose weight are people who are unusually metabolically gifted, are slightly obsessive, or can afford a personal trainer.)
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    I don't mean to sound cold-hearted here, but:

    Unless somebody is holding a gun to your head, MOST OF THE TIME, we make the choices to overeat and not exercise because that's what we want to do. Yeah, we don't like the consequences, but the fact is they are usually the result of our own choices.
  • cvcman
    cvcman Posts: 438 Member
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    what bothers me the most is people that have excuses....I dont have time to exercise, my back hurts. my feet hurt, I have this and that wrong with me...all bs
  • suziepoo1984
    suziepoo1984 Posts: 915 Member
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    I dont like the way the doctor said it, but its true to an extent(barring medical issues). Nobody wants to be fat, but most people dont choose to change their lifestyle or make changes necessary to lose weight or atleast not to gain weight. I know i was one of those people :) I lost weight when i realized i wanted to! It has to only come within our self, the need to lose weight, the need to be healthy, the need to be more active, the need for moderation in life!
  • bennettinfinity
    bennettinfinity Posts: 865 Member
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    Just watched a show on TV where this "Doctor" is saying that people are fat because they want to be. That is such BS. I don't know one person, including myself, who wakes up every morning and says...."Hey, I want to stuff my face and be fat, so that people can stare at me, and judge me". Some of these doctors are complete idiots. Being fat is NOT the problem with most people. It's just a symptom of the problem. Many people eat excessively because of emotional issues, depression, loneliness, to find comfort etc. It makes me angry that people are so quick to judge others without knowing their story or walking even a block in their shoes. Hate it!

    Semantics really, but it's not that want to be fat, it's that they *don't* want to do what it takes to *not* be fat.

    At least that's how it was for me - until is wasn't.

    I was an emotional eater... Heck, there are still days I'd rather pound a large pizza and wash it down with a 2-liter of soda - but now I make the choice to exercise instead. it took a lot of effort to modify that behavior.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    I don't know one person, including myself, who wakes up every morning and says...."Hey, I want to stuff my face and be fat, so that people can stare at me, and judge me".

    I was just thinking about this in connection with another thread, and while I certainly didn't want to be fat or like it, for a decent period of time I didn't really mind it that much, not enough to give up the pleasure (or what I considered pleasure) of being able to eat whatever whenever or to just go home and sloth on the couch without having to bother working out or possibly doing something that made me uncomfortable, like trying to figure out the free weights in the gym.

    I think that's a choice that I made.

    And I was pretty fat. Now that I'm only sort of fat (15 lbs overweight based on BMI), and feel really good and energetic and can find nice clothes to wear and not feel abnormally huge, I could really, really easily decide that I don't mind being this weight--the trade off is worth it. The reason I don't at present is (a) I enjoy how I'm living now more than what I was doing before, including the food I'm eating (most of the time, sometimes I do wish I could just not think about it), and (b) I don't trust myself not to keep getting fatter and fatter.

    But for me--while I did do a decent amount of comfort eating--it really wasn't a sign of some deep underlying emotional problem or pain. And while it's not great that I seem to be too okay with getting fat, I'd rather have that problem than be miserable about my imperfections at this weight or even at my goal weight. (That's different than just wanting to keep getting fitter, which is a goal I'd like to have.)

    Hmm, I guess partly what I'm saying is that it is possible to be a happy fat person.
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
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    I don't think it's fair to say people "want" to be fat. No one really "wants" to be fat. People do however "choose" to be fat. I agree with all the issue you stated that can lead to becoming overweight but it is the individual's choice to allow those issues to dictate what they eat. All of those issues can be handled in ways other than eating. It is in our choices that we define ourselves.

    You took every word out of my mouth...exactly this I was thinking...
  • itsbasschick
    itsbasschick Posts: 1,584 Member
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    i've been there, and i disagree that overeating is always a want or a choice. i would lie there, truly unable to sleep, doing everything i could to relax, but nothing would get me to sleep - and my blood pressure would get higher and higher till i had cereal or something. i did try therapy, and really put myself into it, and i tried playing the guitar or bass, reading or painting, but no matter how relaxed i was, when i'd lie down it would all go away. i did see some improvement and lost weight, but my improvement disappeared when my mother developed alzheimer's and i became her decision maker and caregiver, and later when my husband kept ending up in the hospital over and over.
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
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    I want to be thin, really want to be thin. But i always choose to eat. so I guess its my choice to stay fat.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
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    what bothers me the most is people that have excuses....I dont have time to exercise, my back hurts. my feet hurt, I have this and that wrong with me...all bs

    Eh, wrong. Not all medical issues are BS. Some individuals actually do have exercise limitations and/or are not allowed to exercise all together.
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
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    what bothers me the most is people that have excuses....I dont have time to exercise, my back hurts. my feet hurt, I have this and that wrong with me...all bs

    why did this bother you? it's their own life and their own choice, unless by "people", you mean those you care about very much.
  • hearthwood
    hearthwood Posts: 794 Member
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    Unfortunately what the doctor is saying is true. Being overweight or obese is self inflicted. No one is forcing someone to eat more than they should. Food to some is just as addicting as tobacco is to smokers. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who gets lung cancer after smoking for decades? Not many. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who is considered obese that dies, or contracts a related disease associated with their weight. Again not many.

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