Judging people and their weight

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  • sdelo7
    sdelo7 Posts: 43 Member
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    I agree with the injury excuse. Too easy. Because of my weight, I am obviously more prone to certain injuries and my personal issue is achilles tendonitis. That's when I cut down on running and switch to spinning. I don't want to stop working out, I would weigh a lot more if I did. I adapt. Still can't lose weight though...
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,287 Member
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    It is amusing to see people who are "naturally thin" or really don't like food as much as others..judge people who are neither.

    Some people think about and enjoy food more than other people. Many of the naturally thin people I know don't snack much..leave food on their plates and don't like high fat foods.

    That's hardly a badge of honor..they're just lucky. I think that doctor is an idiot.
  • RHachicho
    RHachicho Posts: 1,115 Member
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    Well .. honestly yeah it is a choice. You are quite right there. But for some people the choice is between being fat and sometimes happy and being thin and permanently in abject misery it's not really so simple a choice now is it.

    It's not such an easy question to answer. Because there is both rightness and wrongness on both sides. On one hand yes fat people are treated like second class human beings. At the best they are comedy relief at the worst they are outright despised and bullied. This creates a self fulfilling prophecy of depression. A vicious cycle that is not so easy to break as the victims isolation from others forces them more and more into a corner until eating is literally the only thing they have left.

    Then there is the legion of excuse makers. I got a slow metabolism. My whole family is fat. I got an injury. Lol I've got size 15 flat feet with terrible bunions (Try running on those for any length of time lol Or finding proper running shoes) A dodgy ankle and a dodgy knee and I still lost 7 stone.

    Then on the other hand there are those that quite simply fall out with people. And lose the ability to tell the difference between encouragement to lose weight and being bullied for being fat. They get so defensive about it that any encouragement to be better is instantly taken as criticism. And they do this because honestly people have been treating them like dirt for ages and they have come to expect it.

    In fact there are as many cases as there are people everyone's story is different. And THAT is really why what this doctor says is stupid. Because he generalizes about a point which changes so dramatically depending on the circumstances of the person involved and their individual psychology and history.

    Yes there are people that don't really want to be fat but fall into it through a vicious cycle of depression loneliness and an eating disorder.

    Yes there are lazy bums that make excuse after excuse for why they can't stop stuffing their face.

    Yes there are people who have been fit and healthy all their lives and treat anyone fatter than them like scum.

    Yes there are fit and healthy people who try and help the overweight only to have defensive excuse laden bile shoved back in their faces.

    My point is that there is no right and wrong here. Generalization doesn't work whatever you do. For me It's sad to admit that I just didn't care about my health or about living a long time. As a fat person who was also foreign I was totally ostracized and bullied and worse in my younger years. And I lost faith in humanity. I stayed fat because being healthy just was not worth it. All that effort just to live on this planet a few more miserable years. All I wanted to do was stuff my face and smoke pot like nobodies business and giggle at puerile crap. I just dived into anything that would give me any fleeting happiness. That fleeting happiness was honestly all that kept me on this earth. And I think somewhere deep down I hoped it would destroy me.

    Obviously that isn't how I feel now. And there's a long story between then and now that I really don't care to tell so casually. But yes being fat was my choice but as you can see. My choice was not so simple yes?
  • FitOldMomma
    FitOldMomma Posts: 790 Member
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    I never *wanted to be fat*....
    but I also didn't want to do what it really requires to get fit and healthy.

    I think it is mostly semantics ~ what he's saying is mostly true. Yes, there are occasional legitimate reasons why someone is obese and remains as such, but truly that is a tiny percentage overall.

    I myself used all the excuses to stay fat.

    Menopause.
    Slow metabolism.
    Arthritis.
    Couldn't afford 'healthy' food.
    Couldn't afford the cost of swimming.
    I don't have the time.
    Really, I don't eat that much!
    Etc..

    What it finally took was a great doctor that gave me the honest truth. My obesity was slowly killing me. It was the reason why my knee got so bad. There was only one way to improve my health: lose weight.

    Some people though do come off as having no empathy or compassion for obese people. I just ignore them.
  • ANTlSOClAL
    ANTlSOClAL Posts: 47
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    Just watched a show on TV where this "Doctor" is saying that people are fat because they want to be. That is such BS. I don't know one person, including myself, who wakes up every morning and says...."Hey, I want to stuff my face and be fat, so that people can stare at me, and judge me". Some of these doctors are complete idiots. Being fat is NOT the problem with most people. It's just a symptom of the problem. Many people eat excessively because of emotional issues, depression, loneliness, to find comfort etc. It makes me angry that people are so quick to judge others without knowing their story or walking even a block in their shoes. Hate it!

    Can you source this?
  • VBnotbitter
    VBnotbitter Posts: 820 Member
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    It is amusing to see people who are "naturally thin" or really don't like food as much as others..judge people who are neither.

    Some people think about and enjoy food more than other people. Many of the naturally thin people I know don't snack much..leave food on their plates and don't like high fat foods.

    That's hardly a badge of honor..they're just lucky. I think that doctor is an idiot.

    I love food, I love to cook, bake. I read food magazines and think about food a lot. I've never been over weight, in 43 years, not because I'm naturally thin but because I choose not to have big portions of what I love. I choose not to snack. I choose not to bake every day and when I do I adjust the rest of my diet so I can enjoy what I've made.

    When I do notice a bit of weight gain I stop and do something about it. I'm not lucky I just made that choice.
  • hearthwood
    hearthwood Posts: 794 Member
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    Name one single person that doesn't have an issue that they're dealing with. The point is ALL women go through menopause, anyone can blame a slow metabolism as the reason they're fat, skinny people have arthritis too, and the I can't afford to eat healthy is B.S. You're right, all too often people use these type of excuses (to do nothing about their weight.). And no one buys into these excuses, especially doctors.

    By over eating, people are making a choice to be fat.
    I never *wanted to be fat*....
    but I also didn't want to do what it really requires to get fit and healthy.

    I think it is mostly semantics ~ what he's saying is mostly true. Yes, there are occasional legitimate reasons why someone is obese and remains as such, but truly that is a tiny percentage overall.

    I myself used all the excuses to stay fat.

    Menopause.
    Slow metabolism.
    Arthritis.
    Couldn't afford 'healthy' food.
    Couldn't afford the cost of swimming.
    I don't have the time.
    Really, I don't eat that much!
    Etc..

    What it finally took was a great doctor that gave me the honest truth. My obesity was slowly killing me. It was the reason why my knee got so bad. There was only one way to improve my health: lose weight.

    Some people though do come off as having no empathy or compassion for obese people. I just ignore them.
  • bennettinfinity
    bennettinfinity Posts: 865 Member
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    what bothers me the most is people that have excuses....I dont have time to exercise, my back hurts. my feet hurt, I have this and that wrong with me...all bs

    Eh, wrong. Not all medical issues are BS. Some individuals actually do have exercise limitations and/or are not allowed to exercise all together.

    Just curious what percentage you would assign to the population you describe? The poster you responded to did say 'most' not 'all'.

    He said "What bothers me the MOST."

    You got me... I should learn to read more carefully.

    But I'd still be interested in knowing what percentage you would assign to the 'legitimate medical condition' population. I'd put it somewhere < 1%.

    Most conditions can be worked around... For example, I'm hypothyroid, but I'm medicated, I work around it. I could easily throw up my hands and say 'I'm hypothyroid and doomed to be fat', but I don't. This site is full of truly inspirational people who have worked with/through all sorts of legitimate medical conditions.

    So you're right - not *all* excuses are BS... but most of them are.
  • earlnabby
    earlnabby Posts: 8,171 Member
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    Often people see explanations as excuses. Just because someone explains why they gained weight doesn't mean that they are trying to make excuses for themselves. (Yes, many do but just as many do not).
  • tremroy1
    tremroy1 Posts: 90 Member
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    Getting fat is not wanting to or needing to......it is a sickness........the simple fact is we eat too much for the the burn rate........we want to eat, not get fat.....we are conditioned to eat when we see foods.......television commercials or advertising........food is everywhere and very attractive packaging......beer ads with skinny young people....that is BS.......we do make excuses because we are afraid of failing........my wife has now joined me on our weight loss journey......she lost 15 pounds without excercise.....other than walks....we will get there.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
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    what bothers me the most is people that have excuses....I dont have time to exercise, my back hurts. my feet hurt, I have this and that wrong with me...all bs

    Eh, wrong. Not all medical issues are BS. Some individuals actually do have exercise limitations and/or are not allowed to exercise all together.

    Just curious what percentage you would assign to the population you describe? The poster you responded to did say 'most' not 'all'.

    He said "What bothers me the MOST."

    You got me... I should learn to read more carefully.

    But I'd still be interested in knowing what percentage you would assign to the 'legitimate medical condition' population. I'd put it somewhere < 1%.

    Most conditions can be worked around... For example, I'm hypothyroid, but I'm medicated, I work around it. I could easily throw up my hands and say 'I'm hypothyroid and doomed to be fat', but I don't. This site is full of truly inspirational people who have worked with/through all sorts of legitimate medical conditions.

    So you're right - not *all* excuses are BS... but most of them are.

    I'm not talking about endocrine disorders… as I have plenty of those myself and can be easily treated. I'm mainly talking about heart problems, where a person has limitations to exercise or isn't able to workout at all.
  • RWTBR
    RWTBR Posts: 140 Member
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    This is true - to an extent. This discussion is based on the idea that these choices are at the same level of difficulty for everyone. However, and there is plenty of scientific research to back this up, it's likely, statistically speaking, that people who are chronically overweight also are dealing with certain additional struggles: (1) metabolic dysfunction which makes them more likely than others to store fat; (2) pleasure circuits in their brain which are wired to get as much pleasure from eating unhealthy food as other people do from addictive drugs; (3) economic hardship - remember that bad food is cheaper than good food in the US; (4) a history of depression or significant psychological trauma. None of these issues, with the possible exception of #3, are that person's fault, they are NOT a choice. And even #3 is usually a combination of personal choices and structural circumstances.

    I am lucky enough to have friends who never judge me for what I look like but also welcome and support the idea of me getting healthier - they know I don't "choose" to be unhealthy, even though sometimes I make bad food or exercise choices. My thinner friends also make bad health choices, like smoking or drinking too much, but they don't wear those bad choices on their body in the same way that I do.

    (And don't be all like "but it was hard for me too!" because of course it was. There are different degrees of hardship. Just because it was hard for you to lose weight doesn't mean it's not EVEN WORSE for someone else with a lot of these other factors going against them. We live in an obesogenic society. The only people who find it easy to lose weight are people who are unusually metabolically gifted, are slightly obsessive, or can afford a personal trainer.)

    Excuses, Excuses, Excuses. And never any progress.
  • Luv2eatSweets
    Luv2eatSweets Posts: 221 Member
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    what bothers me the most is people that have excuses....I dont have time to exercise, my back hurts. my feet hurt, I have this and that wrong with me...all bs

    I understand where you are coming from. I got fat due to having my leg amputated. I got lazy and chose not to lose the weight for a few years. I am trying the best I can. It has been very tough for me and my family. I wake up some days just feeling like crap. Not all excuses are justified, however I wouldn't call bs on most people. You never know when something is gonna bite you on the *kitten* when you least expect it. Some of us have to deal with the mental issues before we can attack the physical issues.

    Meant to say most peoples excuses
  • stephgas
    stephgas Posts: 159 Member
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    why do we have to call BS on others? or judge others? why is there so much justifying going on? excuses, explanations - i don't owe any of it to anyone. we tend to judge ourselves much more harshly than others judge us. and maybe we should each be focusing on ourselves. i don't believe that ANYONE consciously, willingly chooses to be fat (discounting feeders and fetishists). i believe there are numerous contributing factors - mental, physical, societal, cultural - and there is no one answer to why people are fat. well, actually there is one - calories in versus calories out, right?

    interesting topic, i suppose, but there's not going to be a right/wrong answer. people will cite different sources, share different experiences, and no one will change their mind.
  • Lozze
    Lozze Posts: 1,917 Member
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    No such thing as naturally thin. No such thing as naturally fat. If you overeat you get fat. The only valid medical issue for obsesity isPrader-Willis and even then they're not fat because of the disease but the food they're eating.

    Excuses about exercise are irrelevant. Losing weight doesn't need exercise. You can lose weight without exercising at all.

    If you are overweight or obese you are eating too much. It is that simple. No study has been shown to disprove that. (Maintaining is harder and studies have shown that but it's still possible)
  • SkiDude1
    SkiDude1 Posts: 3 Member
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    It's food addiction, plain and simple. People can't stop putting calories in their mouths. Somehow the fact that food represents sustenance makes food addiction justifiable, worthy of self-pity, and a catalyst for "fat acceptance."

    Repeat after me: My name is______________, and I am a food addict.
  • eeh42
    eeh42 Posts: 3
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    You say where there's a will, there's a way. What would you have me do differently than I'm already doing? As I stated earlier, I eat very healthy (always have), don't overeat, and exercise. I repeat, I do not overeat. I even had tests done to determine if something was preventing me from losing weight but everything was perfect. Not just normal, but perfect. So there can't be excuses when you actually try. I've been trying for years. There is a will, but not a way.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
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    You say where there's a will, there's a way. What would you have me do differently than I'm already doing? As I stated earlier, I eat very healthy (always have), don't overeat, and exercise. I repeat, I do not overeat. I even had tests done to determine if something was preventing me from losing weight but everything was perfect. Not just normal, but perfect. So there can't be excuses when you actually try. I've been trying for years. There is a will, but not a way.

    For every person claiming to not be overeating and still not losing weight there is someone overeating. The studies have been done. Weigh and measure your food and record everything. If you're eyeballing, or estimating then you're overestimating.
  • eeh42
    eeh42 Posts: 3
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    I have a scale. I measure out servings. I have a food diary and count calories, and fat, and all that jazz. So it's all been done.

    Basically, as much as other people like to judge - especially when they make assumptions - no one will judge harder than oneself. So everyone should just stop judging others and worry about themselves. The world will still go round. If they are happy, let them be happy. If they aren't, either try to help (instead of criticizing) or let them be.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
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    No such thing as naturally thin. No such thing as naturally fat. If you overeat you get fat. The only valid medical issue for obsesity isPrader-Willis and even then they're not fat because of the disease but the food they're eating.

    Excuses about exercise are irrelevant. Losing weight doesn't need exercise. You can lose weight without exercising at all.

    If you are overweight or obese you are eating too much. It is that simple. No study has been shown to disprove that. (Maintaining is harder and studies have shown that but it's still possible)

    You think that's the only "valid" medical issue for obesity? Think again. :laugh:

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