Judging people and their weight
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I have a scale. I measure out servings. I have a food diary and count calories, and fat, and all that jazz. So it's all been done.
Basically, as much as other people like to judge - especially when they make assumptions - no one will judge harder than oneself. So everyone should just stop judging others and worry about themselves. The world will still go round. If they are happy, let them be happy. If they aren't, either try to help (instead of criticizing) or let them be.
How many calories, male/female, how tall, how much do you weigh, and how long? Open your diary if you want help.0 -
what bothers me the most is people that have excuses....I dont have time to exercise, my back hurts. my feet hurt, I have this and that wrong with me...all bs
Eh, wrong. Not all medical issues are BS. Some individuals actually do have exercise limitations and/or are not allowed to exercise all together.
^^^ Exactly .. I know this because i have health issues and limitations on what i am actually alowed to do.
I have chiari malformation, had to have brain surgery last year, was sooo poorly before my operation that i couldnt do anything at all .. Then had a part of my skull removed and c1 of my spine removed and still im not well and because of all this i am not supposed to lift anything heavy, bend over forwards, no neck stressing activities or sports, no contact sports, no straining, no moving furniture or heavy objects around by pushing, pulling, lifting, or any other way, pick up nothing heavier than a gallon of milk, no twisting the spine, dont participate in any physical activity that puts you in jeopardy of falling and or creating trauma of any kind, no sudden spine or neck movements.. There are more but these are more relevent i suppose.
So not all "excuses" are bs!
And when you feel week and drained and compleatly s**t you sometimes eat a little more than usual or eat the worng foods hoping for a sugar boos or energy boost to help you through the day.
Also alot of pain meds and other tablets and medication make you put weight on, alot of them increase your appitite. Mine do its one of the side affects so i have to try really hard to watch how much i eat especially since some days im too sick to do even a little excersice to burn some off.0 -
It's impossible to judge anyone when you don't know their story. It's stupid to try.
Why worry about the opinion of stupid people? Just don't.
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I chose to feed my face. I chose not to do anything about the weight I was gaining. I now choose to watch my calories and I choose to get fit.0
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This is a topic that's dear to my heart. I spent the better part of my life having Doctors tell me that it was my fault that I was fat. It wasn't until I was 325 lbs, and diabetic that I found a Doctor who said maybe there was another reason for it. I had a lot of test and eventually they found out that I had a tumor on my Pituitary (Cushings Disease). In short no matter how hard I worked at loosing weight (and I did) I would always gain weight as long as I had that tumor. The thing is that no one listened to me because they all said it was that I wasn't trying hard enough, and didn't want it enough. Working out 3 hours a day five days a week, and I gained weight, and it had to be what I was eating. Counting calories, counting fat, and countless weight loss efforts, and it still had to be something I was doing. It's all fine to say there are people who's choice is to be fat, but it's more harmful than you'll ever know when you assume people are doing that. I had the tumor out in 2012 and I dropped a lot of weight going from 325 to 245 in a year. My body is used to being fat now because it began when I was young but accelerated when I got pregnant in 2010. Since no one listened to me until 2012 I'll never know how long the tumor was there, and all because people and Doctors just wanted to dismiss me as Fat by choice. It is far kinder, and more productive not to jump to conclusions, and be supportive. For some people their weight isn't important, and it shouldn't be anyone's business but their own. For the others that are struggling mocking them and or stigmatizing them is not helpful, it's just destructive and spiteful.0
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From someone who was chubby as a kid and then told I needed to exercise to loose weight as a teenager and yoyo dieted for years on top of years. Loosing 80 lbs., gaining it back +; loosing100 lbs, gaining it back +; loosing another 100 lbs., gaining that back + & loosing 75 lbs. due to a miss diagnosed physical problem and gained some of that back; loose lesser lbs. in between all of that. I chose to put food in my mouth. I chose not to exercise. I chose not to stick to the things I learned and knew to do.
When I lost the 75 lbs, I was more afraid of the pain I'd have if I ate, so I chose NOT to eat. It was my choice.
I do know there are things that cause us to gain that are not in our control but I do, for the most part, believe that being fat is the result of our choices. We choose what we really want at that moment it time, for whatever reason.
Do we want to be fat? NO!!! Not always! But we choose to be fat by the choices we make for the most part.
Now I have gained weight before because of severe pain caused from a torn ligament in one leg, then right after that healed, pulled a tendon in the other leg, than right after that healed, torn the ligament in my other leg AGAIN! I COULDN'T DO ANY EXERCISE THAN! And I gained weight, but I chose to still eat more then I needed at that time.
And at one point I chose to give up on ever being a normal weight and that's what got me to my heaviest weight. My choice. Did I want too? At that point, yes, but no. I was tired, I was discussed with myself, I was not happy with my life, the way I felt, the way I looked etc. I chose to take the easy way out.
Now, I have to say, I have for the most part, been athletic. I love walking, jogging, swimming, bike riding, tennis, racket ball, playing with my kids and grandkids through the years. But I did choose to at times NOT exercise.
My first husband had epilepsy and the most severe seizure, grand-mal seizures and my daughter was a brital diabetic. I worked 50 to 60 hrs. a week, did all the driving, most of the house chores, shopping, cooking, etc. Tired? Very! It still was my choice to over eat.
Our medical debt was overwhelming and we had to use the food bank for several years do to low income and then, the lab I worked at closed down and husband and daughter going in and out of the hospital.You don't get a choice of the food you get from them. You're just grateful for the groceries! I'm not telling you these things as an excuse, life happens. But I chose each step I took of each day. We all do, some good choices, some not good choices.
I've found that when I make that decision to change my thinking then I will change my physical issues of loosing weight. The battle is first won in the mind then everything else follows.
The first real diet I chose to stop over eating, but didn't choose to cut out the fatty, sugary, sodium filled foods. My choice. I'd like to say it was for a lack of knowledge but I grow up learning to eat veggies, fruit, meat, fish, etc. Although we did eat fried foods and sugary treats. So I can't say that I was with a total lack of good eating knowledge. My parents did have weight problems but did the yoyo dieting too. I don't blame them for the state I'm in because as an adult we make our own choices.
For the most part it's about choices and they add up, good and bad ones, healthy and not healthy, knowledge and/or lack of knowledge.
BUT this is my story and mine alone. Everyone has their own story and their own choices to make.
I have chosen to change my thinking and change my lifestyle and I am a happier person for it.
And I've made a decision to NOT listen to negative talk from anyone! I choose to fill my mind with good, healthy, clean, inspirational things that will get me to goals and help me live a healthy lifestyle.0 -
No such thing as naturally thin. No such thing as naturally fat. If you overeat you get fat. The only valid medical issue for obsesity isPrader-Willis and even then they're not fat because of the disease but the food they're eating.
Excuses about exercise are irrelevant. Losing weight doesn't need exercise. You can lose weight without exercising at all.
If you are overweight or obese you are eating too much. It is that simple. No study has been shown to disprove that. (Maintaining is harder and studies have shown that but it's still possible)
You think that's the only "valid" medical issue for obesity? Think again. :laugh:
Yes it is. No other disease will cause you to become obese. (Note I'm not saying put on weight, you can put on weight for medical reasons but not obesity) Even Prader-Willis won't make you become obese but it's one that more understandable.0 -
There are exceptions but sadly I've come to agree with that doctor for the most part. There are plenty of people who would rather address the effects of excess weight than address how the weight got there and some days I don't blame 'em. Next to half the decently portioned restaurant meals are the words 'ten and under please' and unless you know what you're doing it's crazy to bike downtown and you're better off biking out of town on the highway, and the alternative is to grab a can of fizzy stuff from the fridge and swallow some pills. To make things worse, you don't lose weight for a while and go back to the nicer life either... you continue to be the odd duck out and do weird stuff or it comes back.0
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Oops.0
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Well said.This is a topic that's dear to my heart. I spent the better part of my life having Doctors tell me that it was my fault that I was fat. It wasn't until I was 325 lbs, and diabetic that I found a Doctor who said maybe there was another reason for it. I had a lot of test and eventually they found out that I had a tumor on my Pituitary (Cushings Disease). In short no matter how hard I worked at loosing weight (and I did) I would always gain weight as long as I had that tumor. The thing is that no one listened to me because they all said it was that I wasn't trying hard enough, and didn't want it enough. Working out 3 hours a day five days a week, and I gained weight, and it had to be what I was eating. Counting calories, counting fat, and countless weight loss efforts, and it still had to be something I was doing. It's all fine to say there are people who's choice is to be fat, but it's more harmful than you'll ever know when you assume people are doing that. I had the tumor out in 2012 and I dropped a lot of weight going from 325 to 245 in a year. My body is used to being fat now because it began when I was young but accelerated when I got pregnant in 2010. Since no one listened to me until 2012 I'll never know how long the tumor was there, and all because people and Doctors just wanted to dismiss me as Fat by choice. It is far kinder, and more productive not to jump to conclusions, and be supportive. For some people their weight isn't important, and it shouldn't be anyone's business but their own. For the others that are struggling mocking them and or stigmatizing them is not helpful, it's just destructive and spiteful.0 -
First of all, there are very, very few people who are naturally thin. The same way there are very few people who are naturally obese. And even when people are naturally either thin or obese, it is usually due to a health complication. As a result, the use of the word naturally feels almost superficial and kind of belittles their health issue. If a 'naturally' thin person has a messed up metabolism, they are not naturally thin. For if their metabolism worked normally and they ate like an overweight person, they would be overweight. Likewise if they have hyperthyroidism (then their being thin is due to an overactive thyroid, not to 'luck'), or if they have IBS and struggle with anorexia as a result (yup, sometimes anorexia is caused by a physical health problem - the more you know!) that is not being naturally thin, either. That is being thin because of a health problem. The same way someone with hypothyroidism is overweight because of an overactive thyroid, but not 'naturally'. The term naturally seems to suggest that people who are thin for reasons like this just have some kind of lucky genetics. Which usually is not the case. I have learned, in my path to being healthy, that those thin people you think are lucky are working their a**** of to maintain that thin figure. They do watch what they eat, and even though it might look like they overeat sometimes to you... think of it this way. My sister comments on how I sometimes eat a lot in one sitting. Yeah, that's because I snack only twice a day compared to her snacking several times a day. My twice a day snacks are usually low calorie. Just filling enough to get me to the next meal. I exercise, too. So, when I have a meal, I very well might eat more than she does. Because she is eating chips, cookies, and drinking soda between her meals. Whereas I am drinking water, or diet soda, or occasionally snaking on a handful of nuts. So it looks like I eat more than she does, but really, I don't. To someone who doesn't know that I was once overweight, they might assume I am 'naturally' thin. Actually, they have.
Onto the overweight thing. I hesitate to say it is a choice. No one chooses to struggle with food. No one chooses to struggle with weight. But not everyone who is overweight has an eating disorder, or depression, or a messed up metabolism. As strange as it seems, not everyone who is overweight is even depressed (I know there's that stereotype going around these days... it's either that one or 'jolly'... but the jolly stereotype is quickly being replaced with 'depressed'). So, what of the people who are overweight... and aren't? I think that... there is a level of choice to it. When I was overweight and struggling with occasional binge eating and compulsive/emotional overeating, I didn't choose to eat. Half the time, it was literally a mindless action. I literally did not enjoy food. I actually hated food. I hated eating, I hated the act of eating. I seldom ever tasted the food. But I knew what I was doing was detrimental to my health. I kept doing it, anyway. I didn't choose to struggle with issues regarding food or body image. I didn't choose to eat when I binge ate. I did choose to eat when I overate. When I ate two cheeseburgers in one sitting, I knew what I was doing. I knew it was bad for me. I knew that 400 calories plus the 800 I ate in fries was far exceeding a normal amount of food. But I choose to eat it, anyway. I think there is some level of choice. Depending on the situation. Binge eating is a bit different. As when I binge ate, there was no choice whatsoever. That's the difference between binge eating and overeating. But I would wager that most people who are overweight are not true binge eaters. But rather people who eat emotionally, compulsively, or just because they love food.
I never really thought of my health or weight when I overate. The only thing I thought was that I was bored. But I could have easily done anything else to cure the boredom. I could have went for a walk. I could have played with my dog, or drew a picture, or wrote a poem. Instead, I ate. That was my choice on how to deal with the emotional and mental health problems I deal with. I didn't want to, and I hate people assuming that I did, but it's all semantics. I take responsibility for my life. I do not blame society for my actions, I do not blame my mother, my dogs, or some outside force. I do not blame myself, either, but I do take responsibility. I ate a lot, and I always expected it to make me feel better. It didn't. It's like they say... insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome..0 -
i think there is a difference between
inability
unwillingness
denial
apathy
the only one of those that didnt apply to me was inability.
however. i have FELT unable.
and feeling unable let me feel apathetic.
it is easy for someone not struggling with overeating to say someone should JUST change, because they should.
but change is not easy..
(i typed a lot more here but it got too personal... )0 -
Prior to getting off of my butt and taking responsibility for my body, I would have been horrified for someone to suggest that I was "choosing" to be fat. But the reality is, I did choose. I WASTED 25 years of my life being obese- and I chose it with every 2nd and 3rd helping and every time I sat on my butt instead of getting active. I do not believe in regret, but boy do I wish that I had decided to take accountability and made a change sooner.0
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I always get mad at posts like these. Its really hard for me not to take comments like "its all just excuse bs" to heart. Probably because I've struggled with multiple medical conditions and still keep trying, and failing, to lose weight. I was just at the doctors on Friday crying because dont know what the hell else to do. Even when I was running 7 miles every other day, weight training and eating 1500 calories I was over weight. Then, quite literally out of the blue, I gained 60 pounds in 3 months. That's not normal. Even overeating that's not normal. And its so frustrating waiting MONTHS to get into an endocrinologist while you're feeling your progress slip away, not being able to do **** about it. So you drop calories to 1200 because that's what the doctor said to do and the weight gain stops but doesn't reverse. Meanwhile the body pain you have prevents extreme movement. So you're hungry and you're not getting that endorphin rush you're used to so now you're a raging *****. Yep, someone would actually chose to go through that :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:0
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Health issues are a different matter. I think we are referring to able bodied people who are otherwise healthy save for being overweight.0
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I never knew there were do many people and medications that could defy the laws of physics.
I've never understood why people say this. Its nonsensical. The People on MFP are not a representative sample of the overall population. Furthermore some medical issues are just mind boggling.0 -
God, you guys are cold-hearted. No matter how much weight I lose, I swear right now to never be unkind to overweight people, to ignore their feelings as though they don't matter, to write off their suffering as "choice", and to make assumptions about what they are or aren't doing to control their weight and improve their health.0
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Go to the doctor, get treated, continue eating in a caloric deficit.I never knew there were do many people and medications that could defy the laws of physics.
I've never understood why people say this. Its nonsensical. The People on MFP are not a representative sample of the overall population. Furthermore some medical issues are just mind boggling.
Not sure what medical condition is going to prevent you from losing weight.
Anyone with half a brain would be going to the doctor to be treated going through what I have been in the past 18 months :laugh:0 -
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You do realize there are plenty of people here that have Hashimotos and Hypothyroidism that have lost weight.
Go to the doctor, get treated, continue eating in a caloric deficit.I never knew there were do many people and medications that could defy the laws of physics.
I've never understood why people say this. Its nonsensical. The People on MFP are not a representative sample of the overall population. Furthermore some medical issues are just mind boggling.
Not sure what medical condition is going to prevent you from losing weight.
Anyone with half a brain would be going to the doctor to be treated going through what I have been in the past 18 months :laugh:
Your ticker says you've lost 11 pounds so you can obviously still lose weight.
I don't have just Hashimotos I have a plethora of other issues going on that would take forever to type out. I've been hovering within a 10 pound weight range for about a year. I'm just glad I haven't really started gaining again. The ticker doesn't tell the whole story, I lost 11 pounds in less than 2 weeks. Since my last entry I've regained 5.0 -
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The choice is yours - you can be fat or you can decide not to be fat - the doctor was right, maybe did not word it the right way or the understanding was not appropriate.0
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There is no such thing as a medical condition that prevents people from losing weight.0
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Feel free to share with others what conditions have prevented you from losing weight. Maybe it will help someone.
You do realize there are plenty of people here that have Hashimotos and Hypothyroidism that have lost weight.
Go to the doctor, get treated, continue eating in a caloric deficit.I never knew there were do many people and medications that could defy the laws of physics.
I've never understood why people say this. Its nonsensical. The People on MFP are not a representative sample of the overall population. Furthermore some medical issues are just mind boggling.
Not sure what medical condition is going to prevent you from losing weight.
Anyone with half a brain would be going to the doctor to be treated going through what I have been in the past 18 months :laugh:
Your ticker says you've lost 11 pounds so you can obviously still lose weight.
I don't have just Hashimotos I have a plethora of other issues going on that would take forever to type out. I've been hovering within a 10 pound weight range for about a year. I'm just glad I haven't really started gaining again. The ticker doesn't tell the whole story, I lost 11 pounds in less than 2 weeks. Since my last entry I've regained 5.
Why so you can dispute what I'm saying because it doesn't fit into how things typically work? No thanks.0 -
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In my view the concept of valid choice implies the ability to choose freely.
It seems clear to me that some people face such significant barriers that they practically have very little to no ability to choose in this way. It must be incredibly frustrating to be told they are making "excuses" when the practical reality of their situation makes it anything but an excuse.
Theory and practical application can be two very different things and rather than bland platitudes "eat less and move more bro!" people are better served with a bit more compassion and understanding of their situation and realistic strategies that can help them achieve their goals.0 -
Honestly of you are eating 1500 calories, running 7 miles daily and gaining weight, you need to be in a secure facility so doctors can discover how to harness energy out of nothing. Your are defying the rules of physics.
I just looked at your diary and honestly, if that's how you eat it's no wonder you're struggling. You're consistently over your calories and (1700 calories not 1500)
I'm not saying this to be harsh, because I know how hard it is. I've gone onto a meal plan (where I'm given all my food) and from months of 'I'm eating the right amount of calories and not losing' after five days I've lost 2kg (and on my period!) and I will keep losing as I'm eating the right amount.0 -
You do realize there are plenty of people here that have Hashimotos and Hypothyroidism that have lost weight.
Go to the doctor, get treated, continue eating in a caloric deficit.I never knew there were do many people and medications that could defy the laws of physics.
I've never understood why people say this. Its nonsensical. The People on MFP are not a representative sample of the overall population. Furthermore some medical issues are just mind boggling.
Not sure what medical condition is going to prevent you from losing weight.
Anyone with half a brain would be going to the doctor to be treated going through what I have been in the past 18 months :laugh:
Your ticker says you've lost 11 pounds so you can obviously still lose weight.
I don't have just Hashimotos I have a plethora of other issues going on that would take forever to type out. I've been hovering within a 10 pound weight range for about a year. I'm just glad I haven't really started gaining again. The ticker doesn't tell the whole story, I lost 11 pounds in less than 2 weeks. Since my last entry I've regained 5.
Then these mysterious diseases clearly don't prevent you from losing weight. You're having the same struggle many people have with weight. The solution is a combination of getting honest with yourself about what you're eating, setting a reasonable and sustainable calorie goal, finding a combination of foods that is appealing to you and yet fits your calories and nutrition needs, and committing to it. The reason you're being challenged is that many of us have been through, and seen friends go through, the process of excuse making. It's a human reaction to challenges that we don't like. There are tools here that can help as well as a number of people willing to look at your diary and offer help.
ETA: To be abundantly clear, this is a very difficult process and I'm in no way minimizing the struggle. The mental game is every bit as important as, and often far more difficult than, the physical.0
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