Judging people and their weight

It's impossible to judge anyone when you don't know their story. It's stupid to try.

Why worry about the opinion of stupid people? Just don't.

+1

ETA: To be abundantly clear, this is a very difficult process and I'm in no way minimizing the struggle. The mental game is every bit as important as, and often far more difficult than, the physical.

Yes, exactly.

I think it is easy (and I am just as guilty of this as anyone) to focus so much on the physiology of weight loss that we forget the psychology part. Long term success in my opinion generally requires catering to both.

The problem with words like "excuse" it it denotes blame and fault. Neither of those are particularly useful concepts for the majority of people who struggle with weight loss and again in my opinion outside of an initial "kick in the pants" for a minority of folks.

It seems to be more likely that people will be helped where they find a place where they enjoy what they are doing and are happy in doing it rather than to suffer and endure which seem to be the basis of most weight loss approaches (which generally prove to be utter failures in weight regulation.)

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Which does bring me back to my point. You're not accurately recording what you eat. I get it. I've been there. But if you're not losing weight at 1700 then you are eating too much. It's that simple.

I never knew there were do many people and medications that could defy the laws of physics.

I've never understood why people say this. Its nonsensical. The People on MFP are not a representative sample of the overall population. Furthermore some medical issues are just mind boggling.

Go to the doctor, get treated, continue eating in a caloric deficit.

Not sure what medical condition is going to prevent you from losing weight.

Anyone with half a brain would be going to the doctor to be treated going through what I have been in the past 18 months :laugh:

You do realize there are plenty of people here that have Hashimotos and Hypothyroidism that have lost weight.

Your ticker says you've lost 11 pounds so you can obviously still lose weight.

I don't have just Hashimotos I have a plethora of other issues going on that would take forever to type out. I've been hovering within a 10 pound weight range for about a year. I'm just glad I haven't really started gaining again. The ticker doesn't tell the whole story, I lost 11 pounds in less than 2 weeks. Since my last entry I've regained 5.

Then these mysterious diseases clearly don't prevent you from losing weight. You're having the same struggle many people have with weight. The solution is a combination of getting honest with yourself about what you're eating, setting a reasonable and sustainable calorie goal, finding a combination of foods that is appealing to you and yet fits your calories and nutrition needs, and committing to it. The reason you're being challenged is that many of us have been through, and seen friends go through, the process of excuse making. It's a human reaction to challenges that we don't like. There are tools here that can help as well as a number of people willing to look at your diary and offer help.

ETA: To be abundantly clear, this is a very difficult process and I'm in no way minimizing the struggle. The mental game is every bit as important as, and often far more difficult than, the physical.

I'm 100% honest with myself. My food diary literally saved my life because my doctor said the same thing you are. Until I showed him what I ate, showed him what I was going through he wouldn't help me. Reiterated that gaining 60lbs in 3 months wasn't normal. It's very frustrating which was my original point. These things don't happen overnight it's a process that started years ago that has now had a huge domino effect. It's not easy to explain in a paragraph or two my entire complicated medical history and, frankly, it's none of anyone else's business. If you can't take what I'm saying at face value and immediately dispute (which is what has happened here) it you're not going to understand anyway.

What are you doing now to lose weight? Presumably, your doctor is providing advice? As I said, people here are willing to help if you need it. I've seen this again and again, even with family members. There is always hidden and/or unrecorded food consumption. Always. This is also the internet. So, no I don't take what you say at face value. Experience, both my own and my friends', caution against that. If you want to dismiss that because I don't "understand" then that is your choice.

What I find interesting is that this thread is quickly becoming a back-and-forth between people wanting to make excuses for themselves and others and those pushing for others to take control over their own lives. Like it or not, people will judge you, and they will judge you for a variety of reasons. I'm not saying that it's fair, but fair or not, you should look in the mirror and figure out why it bothers you. If you're being judged by others and it bothers you because it is something that you recognize as something you really do have control over, and you want to change, then why not change? Yes, people have different challenges to overcome but that's the point, make them challenges to overcome rather than excuses that make it easier not to change. In the end, the changes you make help you, and the excuses you make only hurt you. Not every individual can run ultra-marathons or squat 800 pounds, or even have that potential, but most individuals can make small changes that improve their own lives.

agreed
ex excuse maker here, at the time i really didnt realise i was doing it. I actually thought i didnt eat too much and i believed i couldnt fit in time to do exercise even though i work from home. So I agree with the statement someone said that there are alot of excuse makers out there and its for us to make the small change.

What are you doing now to lose weight? Presumably, your doctor is providing advice? As I said, people here are willing to help if you need it. I've seen this again and again, even with family members. There is always hidden and/or unrecorded food consumption. Always. This is also the internet. So, no I don't take what you say at face value. Experience, both my own and my friends', caution against that. If you want to dismiss that because I don't "understand" then that is your choice.

My doctor is monitoring right now. He said to eat more protein. That's about the only "advice" he has given besides "wait and see, keep doing what you're doing when your hormones balance out you should see a change". Right now what I did was figure out my TDEE which is like 2500 something and decided to eat below that but still somewhere where I'm not ravenously hungry all the time. MFP set the calories at 1770 and I'm eating back some of my exercise calories. I started doing interval runs again 3x's/ week. I'm at least trying to get the running part back to where I was. I had to stop being active about a year ago after abdominal surgery knocked me on my butt and I'm at the point of "screw it I'm going to be in major pain anyway". This is a change from what I used to do which was eat 1500 calories and not eat back my exercise calories since that didn't work anyway and just made me frustrated and hungry. Trying to really be cognizant of protein and salt intake. there's no hidden or unrecorded food here, I understand why you might think that but there's not. If there were I wouldn't have recorded that piece of cake I ate last night. Ha.

All I can speak for is myself. Did I *want* to be fat? No… of course not. I just wanted to be able to eat whatever I wanted and do nothing. But did I *wilingly* make the choices that led to that? YES! Did I try to make every excuse in the book for why I was fat? Yes. Genetics? Yup. My entire family is overweight. Slow metabolism? Of course, that was my favorite. Big boned? Yeah. Thyroid issues? Yup, tried that one too (doctors ruled that one out). Misc. other medical problems? Yeah. Even the doctors tried that one… but test after test would come back negative. Society/environment? Mmm hmmm. That one too. The truth is… when it comes down to brass tacks… I ate way too much and moved way too little. In my case… obesity was a choice I made. It was not a disease or anything else beyond my control.
For the record, food is not an "addiction" to me. I'm not a binger (never have been). I'm not an emotional eater (honestly… times of stress tends to zap my appetite). I ate because I liked food. And I liked the so-called "junk food." I have all sorts of "issues." I can freely admit to that (what human being doesn't?). But my issues have nothing to do with my weight. (That's my pet peeve is the assumption that fat=issues. And the ever popular "if they don't address the underlying issues, they will never lose weight and be able to keep it off." Maybe true for some… but certainly not universal to all overweight people) And my interests have always been sedentary ones. I was never the kid who loved playing outside. I loved to read. To write. As an adult… scrapbooking. And I'm a complete klutz. So, even the sports that I liked were not fun to play because I suck so bad at them!
I agree that people in general shouldn't be so quick to judge people. Not just about their weight, but about anything. But I kind of agree with that doctor referenced by the OP. It was true for me. The difference is now I'm changing it.

Which does bring me back to my point. You're not accurately recording what you eat. I get it. I've been there. But if you're not losing weight at 1700 then you are eating too much. It's that simple.

I weigh everything, my diary is 100% accurate. If I'm not losing weight at 1700 something's WRONG. In anyone else they would be losing, not gaining, not maintaining. Which is what my point was to begin with :grumble:

actually no you don't.

Looked at your diary...
January over some, not weighed mostly measured, missed days on end, partial days
Feb mostly not logged, items not weighed,
March partial days, most days not logged, when you did log it wasn't weighed mostly
sporatic logging at best in march at the start of the month
nothing on the days I clicked in april (about 1/2 of them)

no logging at all in June. Started July 13...often over goal, cup measurments oz weights (which are inaccurate).

I was heavy and yo yo'd for almost 20 years...I have no excuses for it other than eating too much and not moving enough.

No medical condition if in a deficit will prevent weight loss...and this is a perfect example of what the doctors were saying.

If you don't want to be over weight then don't be. It is not easy but it can be done.

I don't judge those who are actively trying to lose weight and are being honest with themselves about it. I don't judge those who aren't actively trying either I just feel bad for them.

Which does bring me back to my point. You're not accurately recording what you eat. I get it. I've been there. But if you're not losing weight at 1700 then you are eating too much. It's that simple.

I weigh everything, my diary is 100% accurate. If I'm not losing weight at 1700 something's WRONG. In anyone else they would be losing, not gaining, not maintaining. Which is what my point was to begin with :grumble:

You have been on this site for almost a year and a half, have you noticed how many people say the same exact thing you just did, resist the advice then down the road realize they actually were wrong? The answer is.....a lot.

Now take this question however you want but I am in no way making fun of you because keep in mind, I spent my whole adolescence and most of my adult life as obese. In your profile picture, why that shirt? That leads me back to the psychological disconnect of weight loss. It's borderline self loathing.

Oh I have a sick sense of humor. It thought it was funny. I can't even eat regular cupcakes because I have Celiac's.

What are you doing now to lose weight? Presumably, your doctor is providing advice? As I said, people here are willing to help if you need it. I've seen this again and again, even with family members. There is always hidden and/or unrecorded food consumption. Always. This is also the internet. So, no I don't take what you say at face value. Experience, both my own and my friends', caution against that. If you want to dismiss that because I don't "understand" then that is your choice.

My doctor is monitoring right now. He said to eat more protein. That's about the only "advice" he has given besides "wait and see, keep doing what you're doing when your hormones balance out you should see a change". Right now what I did was figure out my TDEE which is like 2500 something and decided to eat below that but still somewhere where I'm not ravenously hungry all the time. MFP set the calories at 1770 and I'm eating back some of my exercise calories. I started doing interval runs again 3x's/ week. I'm at least trying to get the running part back to where I was. I had to stop being active about a year ago after abdominal surgery knocked me on my butt and I'm at the point of "screw it I'm going to be in major pain anyway". This is a change from what I used to do which was eat 1500 calories and not eat back my exercise calories since that didn't work anyway and just made me frustrated and hungry. Trying to really be cognizant of protein and salt intake. there's no hidden or unrecorded food here, I understand why you might think that but there's not. If there were I wouldn't have recorded that piece of cake I ate last night. Ha.

I posted above about weighing. Seriously, weigh everything. You should also be focusing on lean meats, dairy, and eggs as your primary protein sources if you eat them (and it appears that you do). Those protein sources and vegetables should be making up the vast majority of your diet. Peanut butter is fine on days when you need to hit your fat macro but don't look at it as a protein source. It is a fat source. Fat is necessary. Also, keep your popcorn and candy consumption at a small amount of your daily total. At 1700 calories, 400-500 calories of that is crowding out protein and fiber. Keep at it, weigh and measure, clean up your diet a bit, and finally, start strength training.

Unfortunately what the doctor is saying is true. Being overweight or obese is self inflicted. No one is forcing someone to eat more than they should. Food to some is just as addicting as tobacco is to smokers. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who gets lung cancer after smoking for decades? Not many. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who is considered obese that dies, or contracts a related disease associated with their weight. Again not many.

Medication that causes weight gain is not self-inflicted.

But the person is still making a choice to take the medication, because the benefits of taking it outweigh the consequences. It may not be a good choice, or a fair choice. It may be the case that no sane person would choose not to take the medication, regardless of how much weight gain it causes, but it's still a choice.

And even then, it's not the medication that makes people gain weight is it? Isn't it that the medication causes them to be more hungry so they over eat and gain weight?

Unfortunately what the doctor is saying is true. Being overweight or obese is self inflicted. No one is forcing someone to eat more than they should. Food to some is just as addicting as tobacco is to smokers. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who gets lung cancer after smoking for decades? Not many. How many people truly feel sorry for someone who is considered obese that dies, or contracts a related disease associated with their weight. Again not many.

In life you can avoid smoking ... food on the other hand you can't

But i take responsibility for the bad food choice I make .. I stumble then I get back on it.

I posted above about weighing. Seriously, weigh everything. You should also be focusing on lean meats, dairy, and eggs as your primary protein sources if you eat them (and it appears that you do). Those protein sources and vegetables should be making up the vast majority of your diet. Peanut butter is fine on days when you need to hit your fat macro but don't look at it as a protein source. It is a fat source. Fat is necessary. Also, keep your popcorn and candy consumption at a small amount of your daily total. At 1700 calories, 400-500 calories of that is crowding out protein and fiber. Keep at it, weigh and measure, clean up your diet a bit, and finally, start strength training.

I weigh everything. I have this wonderful little red scale that goes right in my purse to work with me if I didn't weigh everything the night before. I'm working on the cleaning it up I have a sugar problem. I crave it like crazy so I try to fit it in. Now with the strength training, I plan on throwing in a day there a week when I get a little stronger. Trying to stick to one thing before I throw in something new.