Jealous of the Super Obese?

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Replies

  • meadow_sage
    meadow_sage Posts: 308 Member
    Exactly!!!!
    I found myself thinking, if I just gained some weight (ok, 50-100lbs) I could just get surgery and lose it all the easy way. I was actually jealous.

    Have you ever had that thought?

    Obviously I won't do that but it sounds pretty amazing to me.

    No. That's weird. Also, keep in mind that long term, most gastric bypass patients gain it back.

    No, they don't.. While most RNY patients do experience some weight regain which is expected, the majority do not regain all of their weight. IF what you claim was true, insurance would never cover such an expensive procedure. Insurance covers it because they find it cost effective.
  • ZaCkOX
    ZaCkOX Posts: 115
    Lazy is as lazy does. Nothing but FAILURE IN BEING LAZY, so DON'T BE LAZY. Work for it, people do.
  • xxval21xx
    xxval21xx Posts: 74 Member
    Pretty sure ive seen that exact episode and honestly some people cant or dont have the motivation to lose the weight on their own. My opinion is kinda mix on this on one hand Id rather try and fail before i decide to risk my life going under the knife but I have been recently thinking about surgery after i lose the weight depending on how i look... i have deep issues with getting sagging skin and sagging breasts after weight loss to the point where i would rather stay fat than lose weight so i would possibly consider doing that surgery. But again, the scars afterwards would scare me and im not sure what would be worse; to look horrible naked or to have these god ugly scars around my breasts, arms and at the bikini line.... At this point im just focusing on losing the weight and we will see what happens. But if you ask me, i do not envy them and i do not wish i too could take that route because i feel bad that they didnt get the motivation i have when they were at my weight. Now their problem has escalated too much that they have lost all control and resort to these measures to lose the weight. And Sure they lose the weight but they cant say 100% that they know how to live a healthy lifestyle and that they learned to change their life around. Its by trial and error and actually losing the weight by yourself that you will reap the other benefits of being at a healthy weight other than the physical ones.
  • fastfoodietofitcutie
    fastfoodietofitcutie Posts: 523 Member
    If they gave Razzie awards for threads this one would definitely win.
  • kerwristea89
    kerwristea89 Posts: 17 Member
    I totally understand where you are coming from about taking the easy way out. I know a lady who did that and she rubs it in everyone's face that she got surgeries and she can do what she wants and wear what she wants. But the more that I think about it, the more I realize that every small victory I have...I can honestly say that I did it by WORKING HARD and EARNING the outcome. Now, I realize that there are people who may have to go that route because of their medical issues, however, I think that every other option should be exhausted completely. So the next time that you feel that you are jealous of the super obese, you just remember that even if you do not feel comfortable in that bikini, you are still working hard for where you are and one day you will put on one and say I DID THIS!!
  • Hanfordrose
    Hanfordrose Posts: 688 Member
    I know 5 people who had gastric surgery (bypass, sleeve, etc). One had complications, before the surgery could even be completely. She went into a coma during surgery and stayed in a coma for weeks. She will not be trying that again.

    3 of my friends and family had the surgery and lost more than 100 pounds each. All 3 of those people gained most if not more of their weight back within 2 years. Now, they have all the complications and no success in the end.

    The last one of the group had her surgery many years ago and remains at a normal weight. However, she does nothing but talk about her surgery, the pain, the complications and her dietary restrictions. She is one of the most miserable individuals that I know. When I told her that my doctor had offered me a gastric surgery, she said..."You'll be sorry!"

    That is only one of the reasons why I declined gastric surgery. Today, I am 120+ pounds less than the day that my doctor offered me that surgery. I have gone from a size 4X (32/34) to a size 12/14 by counting and restricting my calories...with very little exercise, because I was confined to a wheelchair, when I started. Now, I am free of that wheelchair and a lot of pounds. It does take a daily commitment to lose weight...just like post surgery; only I don't have to deal with the complications of that surgery. I can eat normal food in a reasonable portion...not in a shot glass.

    Do I need surgery for skin removal? It might be nice to trim up my bat wings and lift my deflated boobs; but I am a very happy lady of 69 years; and I don't need to have the perfect bikini body. I got what I needed...a new, healthier life...out of a wheelchair, walking on my own. I was borderline diabetic, when I started my weight loss journey and that is no longer a threat.

    It took me some time to get rid to this weight, but it was worth the effort and the time. You might want to check out this link below that I did about my weight loss. There are some photos to inspire you. I was the super obese, crippled woman who looked like a beach ball.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1377423-you-don-t-lose-100-pounds-overnight-but-you-can-do-it-pix
  • kkay3182
    kkay3182 Posts: 90 Member
    I saw the exact episode and the ones that followed... HELL NO!!! call me crazy but it had the opposite effect on me. I was like ooooohhhh hell I betta really get my butt in gear so I dont end up on that table out of necessity!!! nope not me :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway:
    Those shows scare me into wanting to lose it this way by healthy eating and exercise, by the time I get to my goal weight my body would have adapted to my knew way of eating, and there will be no emotional or psychological dissonance...as I am seeing and accepting me every little step of the way.. 30lbs is not a lot to have lost when you started at 332, but there have been no cutting hacking tying burning rigging and I will gladly pass and take the ocassional foot/ knee pain from jumping or walking....
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    I found myself thinking, if I just gained some weight (ok, 50-100lbs) I could just get surgery and lose it all the easy way. I was actually jealous.

    Have you ever had that thought?

    Obviously I won't do that but it sounds pretty amazing to me.

    No. That's weird. Also, keep in mind that long term, most gastric bypass patients gain it back.

    No, they don't.. While most RNY patients do experience some weight regain which is expected, the majority do not regain all of their weight. IF what you claim was true, insurance would never cover such an expensive procedure. Insurance covers it because they find it cost effective.

    Yes they do.

    http://www.nbcnews.com/id/26076054/ns/health-diet_and_nutrition/t/miracle-weight-loss-isnt/

    Here you go, it's light reading and a digest, but I'm too apathetic to it to do more. I have someone in my family who does bariatric counseling pre and post op, a considerable number of patients regain a significant portion of their weight, because they choose to go back to eating like ****.

    It is what it is.
  • fatcity66
    fatcity66 Posts: 1,544 Member
    No. Actually, I've always been grateful I'm able to lose the weight through diet, and am fit enough to exercise. I've had 3 surgeries in my life, and they were all very painful, even with good drugs, and someone to help take care of me, but I felt they were necessary. Weight loss surgery has never crossed my mind as necessary, because there are always ways to lose weight without it. Sure, it might be difficult, but most things in life that are worth doing, are.
  • breesie11
    breesie11 Posts: 3,478 Member
    I met one of my husbands friends who had gastric bypass about 2 years prior to my meeting her. We went out for lunch and she pulled out a timer and said she could only take one bite every 2 minutes and was telling us all about how she now eats and all the supplements she has to takes and how high maintenance it all is. I would NEVER want that.
  • Kerilynnda
    Kerilynnda Posts: 129 Member
    A girl I work with actually did that - she was right around 275, and she purposely gained about 50 lbs over a course of a year in order to qualify to get gastric bypass. :huh: :huh:

    Lucky for her I guess the surgery was a success - she had it done about 7 years ago and still seems to successfully keep the weight off.

    Although I do think it will catch up to her eventually because she never changed any of her eating habits or fitness. :ohwell:
  • joanthemom8
    joanthemom8 Posts: 375 Member
    I think I know what you mean. I've never thought of gaining weight on purpose, though. But sometimes when I'm in my "poor me" mode I think that it would be easier to lose weight if I were heavier.... I am practically perpetually trying to lose the last 10-15 lbs. I guess It's because the more overweight a person is, when s/he loses weight it's more noticeable and maybe there's more of a sense of accomplishment?
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,279 Member
    Honestly, jealousy would be normal. I have a friend who weighed as much as I did, but he is about 1/2 a foot shorter than I am. He has cheated in everything he does. It wasnt a surprise to me that he cheated in losing weight either. He had gastric bypass surgery, and lost over 100 lbs. And it pisses me off to the point that I barley speak to him anymore.

    I hate cheaters. And I hate that I have worked my *kitten* off to lose 93lbs so far. He did nothing but sit on the couch and lose weight.

    Gosh this seems an incredibly sour attitude.

    Your friend chose to have weight loss surgery, successfully list 100 lb and now you are barely speaking to him because he chose something different to you??.

    Wow.
  • justal313
    justal313 Posts: 1,375 Member
    You still need to work after having weight-loss surgery to lose weight. It is just another tool in your kit to accomplish that goal. It's not a magic fix and there are often complications and you never eat anywhere near the same way again. My sister is head nurse at a bariatriac center and had me attend meetings and read the literature. You'll average over the long run about 2 pounds per week.

    I instead decided upon the CRIM method

    Calorie
    Reduction
    Increased
    Movement

    I lost 90 odd pounds. Put back a few while training for a marathon and I'm now taking them back off. All my clothes still fit so I didn't do anything drastic, but I want to get back to where I was...
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
    Honestly, jealousy would be normal. I have a friend who weighed as much as I did, but he is about 1/2 a foot shorter than I am. He has cheated in everything he does. It wasnt a surprise to me that he cheated in losing weight either. He had gastric bypass surgery, and lost over 100 lbs. And it pisses me off to the point that I barley speak to him anymore.

    I hate cheaters. And I hate that I have worked my *kitten* off to lose 93lbs so far. He did nothing but sit on the couch and lose weight.

    Gosh this seems an incredibly sour attitude.

    Your friend chose to have weight loss surgery, successfully list 100 lb and now you are barely speaking to him because he chose something different to you??.

    Wow.

    This is not a GAME.. There is no RULE BOOK. It is not a COMPETITION. When we get down to a normal BMI, nobody gives us a medal. We each do what is best for us in order to live the best life we can. I'm really quite appalled at those who would treat the life and death decisions that we make as though though it were something as frivolous as a game.

    As far as your friend goes. it's really sad that he has not embraced a more active lifestyle. He should for his own health but not so that things can be "fair" between the two of you. And by the way,. I've had WLS too. I lost 70 pounds before the surgery and the rest of whatever is on my ticker I lost since my surgery...I worked hard for those first 70 pounds and I've worked hard for each pound since my surgery as well.

    I think that instead of having your nose out of joint because your friend somehow "cheated" that you should focus on your own accomplishment of losing 93 pounds! That's FANTASTIC. Job well done.
  • I read an online blog of someone who had the surgery and after seeing what she went through, I realized the surgery is actually the HARD way to lose all that weight.
  • JoelleAnn78
    JoelleAnn78 Posts: 1,492 Member
    As someone who "TOOK THE EASY WAY OUT" and had RNY, gastric bypass surgery 20 months ago, I can honestly say that this was NOT the easy way out. Many times I wish I could eat a whole sandwich or a burger like a "normal" person, but I know where that got me in the first place. NO, I was not over 300 pounds when I had surgery. I was 245 at my top weight, but as a type I diabetic on an insulin pump with multiple other health issues, including diminished kidney function, I knew the weight had to go. My endo put me on a supervised 800 calorie diet because the 1200 calorie diet produced NO weight loss. In the end, weight loss surgery saved my life. I also see these shows with these very large individuals who seem not to take it seriously and it is bothersome. There are also multitudes of members here on MFP who do not the surgery seriously after they have had it done. Far too many are not educated properly about the procedure before it is done and still too many aren't psychologically ready to change their entire lifestyle. I struggle every day to keep the weight off.
    My weight gain occurred over 10 years--at about 10 pounds a year. You do the math and figure out how EASY it is to put on 10 pounds a year--especially during physical injuries, poor health, or death/loss of family members. Life isn't easy. Weight loss is hard no matter which way you choose to go. We walk our own paths and what is right for one may not be right for another. Therefore, I choose not to judge.

    ^^ Thanks, Ann. I agree 100% :flowerforyou:
  • JoelleAnn78
    JoelleAnn78 Posts: 1,492 Member
    I can see what the op was trying to say, but it does hit a nerve when so many people jump on the opportunity to point out how "lazy" people are when they get wls & how they are "cheating" or "taking the easy way out" & pointing out that most people just gain the weight back anyway. I started working towards my VSG in 2011. I had monthly visits with a nutritionist for 6 months, I met with a cardiologist & had a psych evaluation. I had my surgery 4/4/12 & it was the one of the best decisions I've ever made. I have had to totally change my eating & I am very aware that I will have to track my food for the rest of my life. It has not been easy. It was so hard to watch my family eat Easter dinner right after I had my surgery while I drank broth with protein powder. I did regret my choice many times while they were eating things that I could no longer enjoy, but that is the tool I needed to get a handle on my life.

    I don't know why I should apologize for needing a tool to get healthy. It seems like people get a thrill from lording it over other people--that they did it the "right" way, they had the self discipline that those other lazy folks don't. They point out the baggy skin you get from wls, even though many people who lose large amounts of weight without wls also get extra skin. It is just one consequences you may be subject to if you lose a great deal of weight. Also, health insurance does not generally cover the costs of removing extra skin unless it is causing skin rashes or it hangs down over your genitals. Even then, it is a huge fight to get it covered & they do not pay for a tummy tuck. It is generally a panniculectomy which is only the removal of skin, not a tightening of the underlying muscles. I think the "right way" to lose weight is the way that works for each person.

    It also seems like a lot of people get a bunch of satisfaction from pointing out all the people who had wls & then regained the weight later. Realistically, many people who lose weight will gain it back again later---even if they do it the "hard way" & learn all about how to eat right, etc. Sometimes it just happens. I don't see a bunch of people in the Getting Started or Introduce Yourself forums telling all the people who say they are back to lose weight again to not bother because they just gained the weight back after last time.

    I would encourage anyone who needs to lose a large amount of weight to consider having a VSG. I had one. My sister had one. We have both lost the weight & so far, kept it off. I do not have any eating restrictions. Nothing makes me sick. My sister does get sick after eating greasy foods, but she also doesn't have a gall bladder. It was removed after her VSG, which is not uncommon. VSG works by being restrictive, not malabsorbtive. My surgeon did not encourage lap bands. He said he saw too many complications. If you are willing to put in the work & need the tool to be successful, it is worth talking to your doctor about. Be honest with yourself about whether you will stick to the program. If you won't, it is a waste of money & an unnecessary risk to your health. I am not constantly hungry any more & that has made all the difference in my life & my journey.

    Nicely said. Best of luck to you and your sister.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    What a thread.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    This post is disturbing. I know you probably meant no harm, but this sentiment alone shows that you have really no knowledge of what it is like for the super obese.

    Imagine it for just a minute.

    Of course, the first thing that you will lose is your dignity and self-respect. I mean, after all, you are actively choosing to destroy your body, right? You will find that you can no longer enjoy doing the things that you love IF you can physically do them at all. Your joints, which aren't meant to support the weight, will ache and hurt all the time. Then, once you are big enough to qualify for surgery, you'll have to be cut open, have a portion of a major organ removed or bound together (depending on the surgery), recover from the surgery, eat barely enough to sustain you, and hope that when you do eat, the food doesn't make you sick (potential side effects of the surgery). You have to learn to become active with your now damaged joints. Then, you have to go back for sugery where large portions of your skin are cut away and reconnected together.

    Despite popular belief, people don't really actively choose this route. They live a carefree lifestyle that includes not caring about their body, until one day they realize that the damage is done, and then, they decide if they want to attempt to regain a healthy lifestyle.

    Why in the hell would you choose to set yourself up for a more difficult struggle? Why in the hell would you think any of the above is easy?
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
    I quote Robin Williams: "That's like taking chemotherapy because you're tired of shaving your head."
  • NextPage
    NextPage Posts: 609 Member
    I agree with most posters that if you are able to you should eat well and exercise rather than have surgery. Given the possible complications it is meant only for people were the need (not just want) for weight loss is very great vs. the risk.

    Surgery has saved lives for people who may have died (or be confined to their house/bed) without the surgery. For these people I'm very happy that it has given them a second chance. However, I can't imagine gaining lots of weight to qualify for surgery and being jealous of those who have this option. This is like being jealous of a cancer survivor because they lost weight during chemo.
  • DataSeven
    DataSeven Posts: 245 Member
    I don't get it. I've had this surgery recommended to me, but what is the point? You still have to change your eating habits once the surgery is over! That plus you can never eat normally again. I would rather change my eating with my own willpower, at least I can indulge once in a while and eat like a normal adult and not an infant.
  • UnicornAmanda
    UnicornAmanda Posts: 294 Member
    Yikes... No way! I like watching those shows and everything but in no way does their weight loss look easy... They can drop so many pounds without really even doing anything, yeah.... BUT they lose 100 lbs and BARELY look any different....
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
    I'm not jealous! My husband had gastric bypass surgery over a year ago. Yes he has lost weight but at what cost? He has to be on a super strict vitamin regimen because his body no longer can process food correctly. I'm proud that I've lost 40+ pounds doing it the right way! Counting calories and good old cardio. And I feel great, he's ALWAYS tired!
  • yellowlemoned
    yellowlemoned Posts: 335 Member
    I use to think about gaining weight to have weight loss surgery rather than lose if the "correct way."

    A friend of mine had the surgery, and initially lost a ton of weight. The problem is, anytime she overeats she running to the toilet because it's coming out of one or both ends. She had the lap-band removed and gained 1/2 of the weight she lost back in about 4 months.

    My mother is severely, morbidly, obese (somewhere in the ballpark of 550lbs). She's been trying to get her insurance to pay for the surgery for years now. They're currently working on implementing a program so that she may finally be able to have it in 2016. She can barely walk from the car to the front of the store and back without having to stop. She can barely fit in the electronic cart/chairs in stores. Her knees hurt and finding clothes and shoes that fit is incredibly difficult.

    So, while I'd love to take the "easy way" out and do get jealous when I see people who have lost a bunch of weight and had the excess skin removed in less than a year, I know it's not worth it.
  • I was watching one of those medical weightloss shows the other day. You know the type, where they're really really big and they get gastric bypass and lose a ton of weight with what the episode shows as little to no effort and then they get skin removal surgery and look amazing... and there was this girl who'd been 310lbs, got bypass and lost a ton of weight, got down to like 120/140. She had skin removal surgery and the dr was even able to get most of her stretch marks. She can now wear bikinis for the first time in her life, and as long as she gets one that hides the tummy scar you'd have no idea she was ever fat.

    I found myself thinking, if I just gained some weight (ok, 50-100lbs) I could just get surgery and lose it all the easy way. I was actually jealous.

    Have you ever had that thought?

    Obviously I won't do that but it sounds pretty amazing to me.

    No offense to those who get the surgery but I have WAY more respect for those who do it the "hard" way.
  • nicailyzee
    nicailyzee Posts: 183 Member
    I met a lady this year that had the surgery and she has to eat M&M peanuts everyday because its one of the only things she can keep down. That is no life I truly was sad when she explained the regret she felt. It's not easy or a picnic!
  • Vanrunya
    Vanrunya Posts: 3 Member
    From what I've heard about it you have to be on a strict diet after the surgery to get results and get your body the nutrients it needs.....It would be easier all around to just eat right from the get-go, instead of letting your weight get to the point where the surgery would even be an option. I think it sounds like it's basically a painful, expensive placebo--your mindset after the surgery is what makes it seem easier then trying to lose weight on your own.
  • my_chrystal82
    my_chrystal82 Posts: 46 Member
    As someone who is classified as you said 'Super Obese' I kinda think your post is insane.

    Other people have posted some of the problems that are associated with these surgeries. Did you know they remove the part of your stomach that breaks down and absorbs the nutrients from your foods? It also means that you are unable to break down certain medications, such as asprin..the patient can only take opiods for pains, headaches, etc. Not only do you risk gaining every bit of weight back, you are also at a higher risk of developing a pill addiction!

    I too have seen obese people have these surgeries, only to gain every pound and more back. I think for some people, who are older and have tried EVERYTHING, as well as facing a multitude of other health problems with knees, high blood pressure, etc., this can be a life saving option.

    For someone like you, be happy your biggest problem is laziness.
    For someone like me..I am young enough to overcome this weight problem before even considering that dangerous kind of surgery.